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Walrus Walrus: The Movie

In 35th: SketchUp

Robert Ashley - The Park
40/100

This song is what the concept of slam poetry would sound like if slam poetry were personified in musical form. This is not a good thing. The backing instrumentals are nice enough but fairly generic lounge-type stuff, and I understand the intent behind the guy’s delivery but it just sounds like he’s constantly falling asleep. Frankly, so am I - this song is 21 minutes of the same thing and having to listen to it multiple times was basically cruel and unusual punishment.
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In 34th: t om

Lupe Fiasco - Jump ft. Gizzle
45/100

So here’s the deal. I, like… don’t like trap. At all. And I kinda get that the whole point of this song is that it isn’t supposed to be trap? But the whole thing is still over a trap beat, and said beat is kinda… really bad. The actual rapping is fine - apparently they’re in space, which is pretty great. But 50% of the song receiving essentially a goose egg is not going to help your score here.
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In 33rd: Alette

The Danish Girl OST - Gerda
50/100

OK, so I know you were going for the whole “music paints a picture” type-thing when you sent me an instrumental for what was essentially a storytelling category, but then you forgot to have the music ACTUALLY paint a picture here. What I have here is a completely unobtrusive backing piece for a film I’ve never seen. It’s not bad, it’s just kinda… there.
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In 32nd: Dave

The Streets - Turn the Page
55/100

This song has the opposite of the problem that t om’s had - I absolutely love this beat, and absolutely cannot get behind the flow of the lyrics. It’s like… that’s not how rhythm actually works, dude. You can’t just say words whenever you want and assume it’ll work out. And I know that’s not ACTUALLY what he’s doing but it’s certainly what it feels like. Very hard to actually get into because of that.
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In 31st: Shad

Boris - Introduction
58/100

You basically just sent me 9 minutes of the same guitar note with some semi-interesting textures overlaid. This is how far semi-interesting gets you. Great as an atmospheric piece, less so as a song.
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In 30th: Xicor

Eminem - Hailey's Song
60/100

There are some Eminem songs that I really like (hi, Stan). This is not one of them. As Mr. Mathers so kindly informs us himself at the beginning of the song, he can’t sing. The beat itself is pretty ok. The melody is pretty ok. Eminem just can’t sing. Improves when he actually starts rapping, but it’s too little too late.
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In 29th: MyNameIsNothing

La Dispute - I See Everything
63/100

Neat story. Kinda hate how it’s delivered. The backing track is pretty cool, and the story itself is powerful enough to earn this a lot of points, but I’m finding it really hard to get behind the vocal style of this song. The breakdown especially was… not so good. But the overall package is a neat song.
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In 27th: Granny Pie

Acoustimandobrony - Generosity
68/100

I tried really hard to divorce this from the context of “it’s an MLP song”. It didn’t work. More than that, it honestly sounds like a whole lot of mid-00s pop rock. Fairly generic, is what I’m trying to say. There were some cool vocal things going on during the chorus, but I wasn’t a huge fan of the vocalist(s?) individually. Could have been worse, I suppose. Earned a few points back near the end for the female vocalist, who is easily the best part of the song.
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In 25th: eleanor60

Yellowcard - Cigarette
70/100

Not what I expected when I saw “Yellowcard” on my submissions sheet. I have a lot of trouble getting into slower acoustic stuff, so this is working pretty well for me, all things considered. The violin that kicks in and some of the vocal harmonies push this a bit higher for me, so kudos to that, I suppose.
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In 24th: Asek

Tom Waits - Going Out West
71/100

Tom Waits is, with a few exceptions, someone whose voice I absolutely cannot stand. Luckily for you, this would seem to be one of the exceptions - probably because he’s actually SINGING this one instead of just screaming the whole thing. It’s repetitive and fairly conventional in structure, which probably holds it back a bit, but it’s definitely pretty cool.
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In 23rd: Da Letter El

Slint - Good Morning, Captain
72/100

Pretty cool. Pretty WEIRD. But pretty cool. I’ll give it a pass on being somewhat repetitive because I think that’s sort of the point, and it works ok. The storytelling style was neat, but nothing especially phenomenal. The vocals that kicked in near the end were pretty much just bad. Overall a neat song.
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In 19th: Thingyman

Morrisey - Jacky's Only Happy When She's Up On The Stage
76/100

The first time I listened to this it was about 5:45 in the morning and the whole package of Morrisey in 2017 + lazily drifting vocals + surreal-ish music video made the whole experience feel like a fever dream. If nothing else, it was memorable. Anyways, song’s pretty good. Like the vibes. Can’t believe Morrisey’s still making music, if we’re being honest.
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