The Gossiper: Volume 4

By MattL. Art by Regime.
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Skiddish said what?!

Pig Latin Language Room to be Created

Ethay Okémonpay Owdownshay! affstay, The Pokémon Showdown! staff, are in the midst of discussing the creation of a Pig Latin language room.

Showdown! has several language-based chatrooms which service those who prefer to speak a language other than English. Currently, there exist rooms for Spanish, French, Portuguese, Italian, German, and Dutch. However, the Showdown! staff has been noticing demand for a new language room due to the large volume of native speakers—Pig Latin.

"A Pig Latin room would benefit the server," said Showdown! Moderator Antemortem, "for one simple reason: Iyay ovelay Igpay Atinlay! Who doesn't?"

Although the staff do not currently accept room suggestions due to the large number of existing rooms, there are many criteria that are taken into consideration when deciding whether or not a room should be created. Is the room's topic unique and not covered by an existing room? Will the room have enough traffic? Overall, is there a general need for the room? Additionally, for language rooms, is there a global staff member who is fluent in said language?

In the case of Pig Latin, the answer to all of these questions is decisively "yes." As one of the major world languages, there are many native Pig Latin speakers, the majority of whom live in Antarctica, that would greatly appreciate such a room. It also serves as a place for any Pig Latin enthusiast to speak the language, as it is a global rule on Showdown! that all chat be conducted in English unless in a specified language room.

Similarly to the other language rooms, it will be a rule in the Pig Latin room that only Pig Latin is to be spoken. Ethay oomray illway ebay availableyay afteryay ethay extnay erversay estartray.

Throw Sack Present Influenced by Santa

The Seasonal Ladder features Other Metagames, led by Showdown! Administrator Joim. These Other Metagames are, as the name implies, monthly and themed based on the time of year in which the metagame is to be played.

In December of 2014, the Seasonal Metagame was called Sleigh Showdown. One of its features was a new attack called "Throw Sack Present." Allegedly, Throw Sack Present is similar to the real move Present, using which brings many different outcomes. A complete list of possible outcomes is available in the Seasonal Ladder thread in the Other Metagames subforum on Smogon.

However, there is a secret about Throw Sack Present that very few people have known about up until recently.

"I've been partnering with Santa Claus to make a more realistic meta," explained Joim. "He gave me lots of good ideas for the December metagame in order to make it more Christmas-themed."

According to Joim, the way Throw Sack Present works is actually based on how Santa feels about the user who uses the attack. After all, "he knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake." Children who have been good the whole year have a higher probability of having favorable outcomes when using Throw Sack Present, while the naughty children will be more likely to receive the relatively weaker attacks.

Joim continued, "I met Santa at the mall and we've been good friends ever since! I didn't know he was a big Pokémon fan, but I'm glad that he helped out. Maybe I'll get a new house for Christmas next year!"

Joim was last seen trying to contact aliens to help with the January 2015 Seasonal Metagame, "Spacetime Funtimes."

New Dunce Rank

Showdown!'s developers are working on creating a new rank in the chatrooms. The current ranks are Voice (+), Player (⋆), Driver (%), Moderator (@), Leader (&), Room Owner (#), and Administrator (~). Users who are muted or locked from talking also receive symbols in front of their names, ! and ‽, respectively.

Allegedly, the plan is to introduce the new Dunce ($) rank within the next two months.

Similarly to global Moderators, Dunces will have access to the /warn, /mute, /hourmute, /lock, and /ban commands. However, each of these commands backfires when used by a Dunce. For example, if a Dunce uses /ban, that Dunce would ban themselves from the server, regardless of which user the Dunce tried to ban. Those are the only commands that a Dunce would have access to.

This new rank is necessary because, according to one anonymous staff member, "dozens of users ask to get banned every day. Why not let them do it themselves?"

Before the Dunce rank is to be implemented, the staff need to definitively decide on its symbol, because several administrators want to "ditch the boring tilde" and replace it with "the super-awesome dollar sign."

At press time, programmers are trying to figure out how to program a realistic-looking dunce cap with the word "DUNCE" legibly inside the hat as a potential symbol.

Zarel Willing to Sell Showdown for $500,000,000 USD

Sources reported Wednesday that Zarel, the creator of Showdown!, is willing to sell 100% of Pokémon Showdown! for 500 million USD.

Any investor willing to take this deal would own all of the rights to Showdown! and be in control of all other users. When asked how he came up with this valuation, Zarel explained that "the number is arbitrary, but I'll take five hundred million bucks, sure."

When reporters asked Zarel why he would have the gumption to offer Showdown! in its entirety after spending years and "blood, sweat, and tears" developing, improving, and administrating it, he replied "Blood, sweat, and tears can't buy you a vacation home in Hawaii. I also want to buy some bling, 'cause I'm a total G, yo."

Zarel said that if he were to receive the 500 million dollars, he would buy a Civic, install hydraulics and an incredibly loud stereo, and get a gold necklace with a large, diamond-encrusted "Z," and "probably have enough to give all of the staff coupons to McDonalds," because he appreciates their contributions to the sim. Zarel also wants to work on a rap album entitled "In Da Hood."

Along the lines of this offer, one user demanded to Zarel, with a message containing more than twenty expletives, that he give global Voice promotions for one dollar. No word yet on whether or not this user has been banned.

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