Twitch Plays... the story of a boy, his fossil and a dream

By skylight. Art by Toast++.
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Unless you've managed to avoid the Internet for the last two months, chances are you've heard of Twitch Plays Pokémon (TPP). TPP is a livestream of a Pokémon game on Twitch, which allows players to input text into Twitch's chat that then converts the commands into the game. So far the Pokémon community has managed to complete Red and Crystal and is currently working on Emerald. Through every good story there's a hero and there's a villain. Ranging from the false prophet, Flareon, to the wise Helix Fossil, the fanbase has gotten attached to certain stars of the playthrough. While we know the journey the original stars had gone through with Red, we don't know what they were like before (and even during the time where) they had to endure permanent Swagger without the Attack boost. Here are their stories.

The Church of Helix

The once worshiped Helix Fossil wasn't always a sought-after trophy. 300,000 years ago, it was a humble Omanyte that never really got a chance to be anyone. Most Pokémon back in those days remember the rivalry between Omanyte and Kabuto. Kabuto was from the clan of Demokrate, while Omanyte was from the clan of Anarchiar. Kabuto believed in calculating every move and every action, which led to him becoming king. Omanyte on the other hand believed in team effort, even if it got him pretty much nowhere, which is why he was instated head of the local church. In his role as pope of the church of Helix, he led Pokémon of all kinds to work as a team in building a statue of himself. Kabuto heard word of this and enlisted his followers to do the same, aiming to outdo Omanyte in every way. He wished to be regarded as the true ruler of the region, even though technically being a king meant he had more power than Omanyte. Kabuto easily built the statue, while it took Omanyte's followers 20 years. Omanyte's statue turned out to be even better than Kabuto's by some crazy luck, which made Kabuto buttmad.

Kabuto wanted to bring down Omanyte's pride and glory, but he didn't know how... until one Thursday, when he came across a Poliwrath. Poliwrath told Kabuto of Rain Dance, a wonderful move that would allow Kabuto to bring about a powerful storm that, combined with Thunder, would take down the other statue. The only problem was that this move was only taught in another region, another land that nobody had ever heard of. Kabuto was unsure whether to make the journey, but his subjects vowed they'd follow him. While Kabuto was gone, Omanyte took over Kabuto's roles and eventually became the king of the region. What he didn't know was that while Kabuto was in Johto he became fossilized, and he never found a way to outdo Omanyte. Years passed and eventually Omanyte faced the same fate as Kabuto.

Luckily Omanyte was rewarded for his good nature by being chosen by Red; however, many in his party believe that this is actually a bad thing. Eventually he was worshiped as the God of anarchy, the title Omanyte deserved the most. The rest is history.

Bird Jesus

Being Jesus isn't always easy, and no bird would know the hardships better than Bird Jesus. Before he joined Red's team, Bird Jesus had goals and dreams—ones that didn't really involve a mental patient named Red. He wanted to explore the world and make it to Johto, where he would meet and impress Falkner so much that he would become the star of the gym! Unfortunately, Red came along and captured him. With no other choice, Bird Jesus followed Red's every command, even if it meant running when he only had to attack the opponent. He figured that if he became the star of Red's team, it'd be just like being the star of Falkner's gym.

Being the star was easy for Bird Jesus, as he was naturally stronger than any other Pokémon in Red's team. He was overleveled, but he loved it; he got his chance to shine. However, he wasn't the only bird on Red's team. When Red got Dux the Farfetch'd, Bird Jesus became jealous and kept trying to get Dux boxed by convincing Red to go to the PC to deposit "items." This was risky however, as Bird Jesus had a chance of being boxed, too. Eventually Bird Jesus gave up and decided to prove himself at Pokémon Tower, where he would stand out against Dux, because the stupid duck didn't have any attacks that could hit Ghosts (neither did Bird Jesus, but hey who would stone a bird for trying?). Unfortunately, this didn't really prove anything other than Bird Jesus being not-so-bright.

As time went on, Bird Jesus kept trying to prove himself, not realizing that he was the star of the team. Red's team continued to grow and Bird Jesus started to become never used, while Red's Zapdos began to shine as bright as the Thunder it created in the sky. Soon after Red became the champion, Bird Jesus took to the sky, knowing that someday he would reunite with Red once more, and by that time he would truly know his place in Red's heart.

The False Prophet

There's a ton of definitions of a prophet. According to dictionaries, a prophet is seen as almost godly, a predictor of many things, including chaos and so much more. But to Red's team, a young Eevee was simply the best way to learn Surf. That Eevee never expected that he would become a prophet, or a false one at that.

At a certain point in Red's journey, he realized that he'd eventually have to use Surf in order to complete his journey across Kanto. His supporters suggested that he should get an Eevee. Who'd have known that this little Eevee would also play a big role in the pain that the PC storage box system gave to some of Red's team?

When Red decided he needed Eevee (so that he could get a Vaporeon) instead of waiting to get Lapras, he had to clear space in his team to put Eevee in. Unfortunately, these were the days when anarchy reigned, and neither people, nor Pokémon for that matter, had much control over their fate. Red's starter, Charmeleon (affectionately known as Abby), was an aspiring young Fire-type Pokémon, hoping to one day become a Charizard and rule the land of Kanto under Red's command. He saw that Bird Jesus was becoming the star of Red's team at the time, which he despised because he wanted to be Red's one and only. Red's Rattata (affectionately known as Jay Leno), also hoped to serve Red for the rest of his life. Fuck Joey's Rattata, this one was the king of all other Rattata's, according to himself, at least!

When Red made the journey to pick up Eevee, he stopped off at a Pokémon Center and navigated towards the storage box, hoping to deposit one of his lesser used Pokémon so that he could obtain Eevee. Unfortunately, fate wasn't exactly kind to his two stars—Charmeleon and Rattata—leading him to lose them. Angry that they were released and no longer under Red's command, they hatched a plan: make sure Red never got the Vaporeon he desired. They realized they needed a mole in his team, someone to tell him where to go, and how to pull all the strings. Innocent Eevee was just happy to be in Red's team, unaware that he would soon be evolving and that he would soon have no control over his own fate either. Charmeleon contacted Eevee from the outside, making sure that Red didn't notice, and he told him of Red's love of Fire-type Pokémon. If he could convince Red to evolve him into Flareon to pay homage to Charmeleon, everyone would forgive him for releasing Red's two prized possessions. After much convincing from Eevee, Red decided that evolving Eevee into Flareon was the best decision for his team, despite needing a Pokémon that could Surf. As soon as this happened, Flareon started getting blamed for everything bad, not knowing that Charmeleon and Rattata were pulling his strings all along. Flareon became the false prophet when all he wanted was to fit into Red's team and be free from the crazy random dude from the attic of a random building.

As time passed, everyone on Red's team started to forgive Flareon for being temporarily bound to the land. Flareon kept the title of the false prophet, to serve as a reminder never to trust Jay Leno's word and that Abby truly belonged downtown.


When Red reached Celadon City, he realized that something bad had happened: he tossed his Coin Case! Upon further thought and a lengthy consultation of the Helix Fossil, he noticed that he did not in fact ever have a Coin Case, and he decided while he was there that he should get one. He headed to the Game Corner and saw that there was a poster in the back he could lift up and walk through. As it was dark and suspicious through there, he grabbed his Poké Ball for his replacement Rattata and let it out to explore the dark area for him. During this time, Rattata found a bomb, or at least he was pretty sure it could explode because it was white, red, and had a clock attached to it. Rattata quickly looked for a watch so that he could time an escape just before the bomb exploded. He also checked the escape routes in the building and realized they were too complicated for him to understand. When the time came, he'd know what he had to do.

Rattata ran back to Red and stood next to him while Red had a chat with his Helix Fossil. After getting enough insight on the situation, Red knew that he'd have to travel through the mazes and stop Team Rocket. Just before he took a step, he consulted his fossil once more, and then he made his way through the first maze. This took hours, but with the help of his supporters, Red made it through most of the mazes. Just as Red was about to collect the Silph Scope, Rattata jumped out of its Poké Ball and dug a hole beneath Red. They tumbled through the floors and crashed at the bottom. Rattata looked up and saw an explosion, followed by smoke. At this time, Red was too busy consulting the Helix Fossil about what happened (yes, according to some historians Red believed the Helix Fossil actually had feelings...) and didn't notice the explosion, but he saw the smoke. He originally assumed that the smoke was from him crashing through the buildings, but days later he learned of the truth.

Realizing that the original Rattata was the inferior Rattata, Red decided to call this Rattata Digrat, to honor the fact that Digrat dug him out of a difficult situation (which he probably would've survived if he consulted the Helix Fossil, but Digrat had good intentions at least!)


Red went on to have many more adventures after he eventually became the champion, most of which involved consulting his Omanyte. With his team, a champion status, and anarchy by his side, Red knew he could do anything—except go a day without talking to an inanimate object, but hey nobody's perfect!

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