(false cognate here is a bitch though)
Ahaha, tell me about it. Do you remember how I said Turkish and Azeri are almost mutually intelliglible? Well,
almost. There are quite a few vocabulary differences and most of those make you think Proto-Turkic peoples were also proto-shitty sitcom writers.
For example, Turkish and Azeri both use the word "karhane", but the Turkish word comes from is karı+hane (woman+house) while the Azeri word comes from kâr+hane (profit+house). So in Turkish "karhane" (also spelled like k
erhane) refers to a brothel, while in Azeri it refers to a workplace. So an Azeri in Turkey can ask for directions for an office and find himself in front of a brothel.
The same thing can happen the other way around, too- in Turkish "bardak" means glass while in Azeri it means prostitute. Hell, a small diplomatic crisis erupted over this. Some cultural background: We Turkish like our tea in
glasses like this. It's a cultural thing that's used all across the country. We call those glasses "ince belli bardak"- literally "slender-waisted glass". Now you probably see where this is going: The Turkish Minister of Foreign Affairs was in Azerbaijan sometime during the mid-1990s, and he got his tea served in a cup during a meeting. Obviously, like the Turkish guy he is, he asked for a "ince-belli bardak", which resulted in lots of hostile stares and red-faced people around him while he was oblivious to the whole thing. The situation gets even worse when you consider that the ex-Soviet countries are notorious for sex trafficking. Thankfully, the whole thing was clarified within a few hours.
Oh, there's yet another misunderstanding that caused a diplomatic crisis. During a meeting, the Azerbaijani president Haydar Aliyev called the Turkish president Süleyman Demirel "a great businessman" and thanked him for Turkish investments in Azerbaijan. Nice, right? Yeah, except the Azeri word for businessman (also meaning a strong, wealthy man) is "pezevenk", which means "pimp/women trafficker" in Turkish and is commonly used as a swear word. Comedy gold.
Now currently, when having meetings Turkish and Azeri ministers use translators, which is just as hilarious. The Turkish and Azeri presidents speak and get their speech "translated", but the "translators" usually just say the same thing verbatim in a different accent as everybody in the room try to contain their giggles.
One last example, this one from Turkmen- the Turkmen word for weapon/arms is "yarak" which means, well, dick in Turkish. So the Turkmen Army "Türkmenistanyň Ýaragly Güýçleri", written in Turkish as "Türkmenistan'ın Yaraklı Güçleri" means, uh, "Turkmen Forces with Dicks". So if a Turkmen talks about, say, a bloody, massive armed clash, the Turkish person will interpret it quite differently (hint: orgy).
I can just go on and on, but I'll stop here.