SPL General Talk Thread

[Aladyyn]

wtf is italian bread?

 

[Arcticblast]

+srk1214: which is why I was joking when I said quick claw chomp. moving on.
+gr8astard: ok smartassk1214
+srk1214: I would turn your name into an insult too, but it already is one
+gr8astard: are u in spl srk1214
+gr8astard: you should freaking shut up if u arent
+gr8astard: T_T

 

[Nails]

time to carry the scooters to a trophy. lgi scoots!

.scootin

edit: sry for not posting pics of food i haven't been reading this thread since it has sucked ass recently

 

[aerialace TM40]

yah we like pasta2,, ,, ,photo cred::gayest motnh of year

 

[Furai]

fck yes israel

 

[Snou]

New Day, New Food :o

Mozzarelle in Carrozza :O

 

[RODAN]

consult helix fossil

 

[macle]

ln in jail

 

[PROBLEMS]

Hide

>so we go into w1 doubting ya bois

>taking everyones lives a few weeks later

> ''Just because you don't know them doesn't mean they won't fuck your shit up''

~STAY CLASSY~

#pofags

 

[moonbase]

This is stupider than the World Cup Smalk thread.

Dear Lonelyness,
Upon browsing through the Smogon photo album thread, I have finally come to a conclusion about your behavior on this forum. Despite your losing tournament record and off putting grooming habits, I feel that your past as a player is not the main problem that we're dealing with. Even though the Smogon community has differing opinions on how you handle yourself, but there is something that no one can argue.

You are the most God awful user that I have ever had the misfortune of coming across. For one, your posts are absolute fucking garbage. It seems that if you have the logic of a rogue second grader who found some weed in the janitor's office at recess because this shit is just fucking dumb bro. I’m pretty sure that I can shove a vat of KFC Popcorn chicken in my hard drive and formulate less insipid posts than you. Like are you fucking kidding me? You manage all these shitty tournament teams filled to the brim with slovenly ass marmosets with the rngs hand through their ass, and your teams still can't manage to make it past the first few rounds of most tournaments while the rest of the greasy ass Smogon population plows through you handily. I find the things you say to be disgusting and completely ass backward. It would be easier just to throw hot water and soap on you instead of watching you wallow in your own filth as you try to climb to the top of the Smogon social ladder via connections with sweaty ass orangutan after sweaty ass orangutan.

Not only that but you pretty much are the epitome of why this community is a fucking cesspool of sweaty ass buffalo chicken and falafel stuffed squids who have absolutely no fucking clue what they're doing. My God, the sound of your voice combined with the rancid, uneducated jargon that you spew all over the smogcast is equivalent listening to Chief Keef on repeat [alternatively, reading posts by Pocket]. I’m 97% sure that you have to be Sand Veil Garchomp to avoid getting cervical cancer from even listening to the smogcast for like 5 minutes. I actually feel bad to see this many moronic gyro meat wrapped howler monkeys congregating in one sweaty ass location. Not going to name any names or anything but holy fuck man the level of incompetence and just massive quantities of pure idiotic statements being spewed into the smogcast makes me want to give a swirly to a baby kitten or some shit.

Now I’ll preface this shit with my next point but actually let’s just toss in some more gargantuan words to act as filler like pretty much all of your posts.

Back to what I think about you being spicy black bean patty stuffed slug. Oh my lord the way that you act holy shit what the hell? Like honestly your perception of what people think of you is more clouded than a fucking dirty ass port a potty at the county fair Jesus Christ. You thinking that you're the shit, patronizing people in the pic thread when you look like Patty The Pepperoni Pizza gave birth on your face, and who the fuck knows what you have done ever since I made the mistake of joining these slimy ass forums. But there is one certainty in the treacherous and semen infested waters of Smogon, that you will continue to be shitty! But it’s all good because central will dominate next year or the smog frogs will pick up some random 5th grader who is 2nd on the po ladder or some bullshit. Laddering ftw. God damn, I'm not saying that I could lead a team better better [alright no yeah I can, I can probably manage a team better by getting my dick stuck my printer and having to pour a vat of curry in there to get it out, fuck off bro],but holy tits if you keep taking dumps on everyone who lives in the Central United States hopes of getting a trophy, then are you still managing the team? Oh yeah I forgot, it's because you're a smarmy ass baboon.

All in all you're lame as fuck bro. You're a lubricious, smarmy ass bisexual star nosed mole wrapped in a whole wheat pita drenched in expired honey mustard, ranch, and a medley of broccoli cheese soup from Panera with a squashed baked potato and chives found on the dirty bathroom floor at your local Wendy's while being viciously waterboarded with a copy of the New York Times after it was discovered that he held up a retired economics professor in a deserted gas station in Little Rock, Arkansas. What the fuck man. Reading your posts is worse than being raped by your 7th grade teacher, anyone who likes them can gargle ibex semen.

WE NEED MORE POSTS LIKE THIS

 

[Afro Smash]

Hook, Line and Sinclair :]

 

[Furai]

must a manager have a clean police record or can we push this one aside??????????????? LonelyNess

 

[Jorgen]

wait did LN literally go to jail or did he just get internet banned somewhere im confused now

 

[Fuzznip]

i guess you can say he wasn't all that lonely ;)

 

[Style_Dota]

wait did LN literally go to jail or did he just get internet banned somewhere im confused now

He actually went to Jail, and not even for a cool or interesting reason.

 

[Furai]

it actually saddens me you think there are cool ways to go into jail mike :{

 

[Django]

pls explain

 

[Dave]

it actually saddens me you think there are cool ways to go into jail mike :{

First of all..
I'd just like to say that I am not responsible for anyone doing anything listed here. This article is written purely for reasons of comedy and If anyone is actually stupid enough to replicate anything in this list then they probably deserve to go to jail anyway.. By reading this article you agree that you are responsible for your own actions..

#1 Sexually Assault a Police Officer

Sure I could have said sexually assault someone, or I could have said assault a police officer.. but if you do both at the same time your dramatically increasing your chance of incarceration! All you have to do is run up to an officer and grab their junk! Wear silly clothes or face paint for added effect. A fair warning ahead of time your probably going to get beat down.. badly.... roll with it and you'll be wearing orange jumpers in no time!

#2 Start a Fire

This one can be handled in so many different ways! There is an entire world of flammable objects out there just waiting to be lit up. You could start a forest fire, an old abandoned building, or your best friends dog! Make sure someone sees it happening though or the investigators may not be able to pin it on you. Remember the goal here is a nice hard prison bed with a large man demanding you be his bitch.

#3 Sell drugs... and get Caught!

Don't sell yourself short! There are many different drugs that warrant counts of manslaughter if you are caught and convicted of selling them. Acid and Ecstacy are two of them but finding a drug dealer to obtain these may be difficult for the average person. Try manufacturing meth in your bathtub and selling it to your friends! Be warned that its a good idea to get arrested before you either A)blow up your house B) gnaw your own skin off or C) lose all your teeth... Good luck!

#4 Become a Prostitute!

This one is fun and easy! No puns intended here.. You get the best of both worlds. Money and sex! YES!! Wear slutty clothes and make yourself easily visible and you'll be well on your way behind bars!

#5 Combat Global Warming Effectively

Tired of waiting around for legislation to save the planet? Take matters into your own hands. Soak rags in gasoline and put them in the gas tank of every car you see. Light em' up and run away! You can also put sugar in their gas tanks too! Not only will you bring down green house gasses dramatically, but you'll bring the economy to a screeching hault at the same time! Way to go!

#6 Grow a Massive Field of Weed

Im talking huge! Like at least an acres worth of pot. After your plants grow to a reasonable size tell all of your friends about it! If they don't manage to steal it all from you word will spread quickly and a concerned friend or family member will turn you over to the police. Make a jackass out of yourself in court for increased time!

#7 Try Setting a Land Speed Record

Max out that old beast of yours! Sure you could have a 15 year old rusted out boat sized vehicle, but if you put it to the floor you'll be shocked at its top speed! When the police pursue you just keep going.. A warning though.. This one could be a little dangerous.. the goal is prison not death.. Keep that in mind.

#8 Become a Shoplifting Professional

Normally the penalty for stealing is just a slap on the wrist and a small fine, so you really have to go big with this one. Try stealing a massive amount of big screen television sets from your local department store. When you have collected a living room full of them post a picture on facebook with you smiling with your prize. Make sure you have a public profile and you'll be well on your way to the county jail.

#9 Travel to Singapore and Get Naked!

It is illegal to walk around your house naked in Singapore.. So i'm assuming if you walk around in public naked there you will get thrown in jail. I don't recommend anything on this list to anyone but I especially do not recommend this. If you think jail in America sucks you can bet your ass that jail in Singapore is one of the seven circles of hell... assuming there are circles in hell.. whatever..

#10 Don't Travel Anywhere Just Get Naked!

Sure you probably won't go to prison, but you'll definitely go to jail. Streak at a football, or baseball game. Streak at a political event. Streak down the mainstreet of your town. Make sure you get tackled and cuffed!

#11 Acquire a Massive Amount of Pets and then Neglect them!

Peta will pretty much destroy you if you do this. Take in stray cats and dogs until your house is filled with them. By take them in I mean you need to collect at least a hundred animals. Depending on the community you live in this is totally illegal. Spill some food on the floor and leave for a week... Call up Peta and brag about your accomplishment!

#12 Sell Drugs to a Police Officer

Thats right.. get a big ol' bag of weed, or basically any illegal substance you can find. Walk up to an officer in broad daylight and attempt to sell it to them. The chances of getting arrested are pretty high unless your run into a corrupt cop. Good luck!

#13 Make a bomb!

There are plenty of ways to make a bomb! They are all over the internet! For real go check it out! Make a big enough one and detonate it in a public place and you'll be ready to go!

#14 Go to Area 51

There are signs all over around the outside of the area that says the government can use lethal force if you enter the premise. This one is especially risky because you could get shot... Like you could get shot A LOT. However if you manage to not get shot and you make a big enough ass of yourself in front of the federal agents they may just throw you into a terrorist prison and you'll probably never be heard from again... that sounds like fun.

#15 Help Liberate your Neighbors to the South and Fail!

Take a van down to Mexico and fill it up with locals, and empty promises of the land of oppurtunity. When you reach the boarder act ridiculous and stupid. Do a burnout and randomly cross into other peoples lanes. After violating traffic laws and being confronted by an officer, explain to them why you think that immigration laws are stupid. Tell them you don't care about the laws and that your getting across the boarder regardless of what they say.

#16 Make Moonshine!

Make your own distilled alcohol and distribute it in front of your local Walmart! This is all types of illegal..

#17 Pee on Someone

In order to increase jail time its best if you urinate on a high ranking official. If you can't manage to pee on the president try a senator or congressman. Do it in public for bonus points!

#18 Deface Public Property

Write something lewd on the statue in the public square. Do it during broad daylight during a public event. Shoot paintballs at all the local stop and yield signs. Be creative! The sky is the limit with this one!!

#19 Pick a fight... with anyone!

Depending on whom you choose you could get severely injured in the process of this one. Pick a local cage fighter if your into self torture. Pick an old woman if you want to take the easy way out.. you panzee ass!

#20 Defecate on the Mayors Lawn

It doesn't have to necessarily be the Mayor's lawn but we're looking to make as many people angry as possible. Angry people=public outcry= more jail time. Drop your drawers and take a large steamy dump. Save up for a few days for the maximum effect, and then brag about it to everyone you know.

#21 Masturbate... in Public!

This one has wrong written all over it and doesn't need to be explained at all... Go for it!

#22 Lie in Court

After swearing to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, proceed to lie about absolutely everything. I'm pretty sure this will do the trick.

#23 Yell "I have a bomb" on an airplane

Even if you don't have a bomb this will definitely get you some hard time.. Bonus points if you do..

#24 Don't go to the Bank...

Make your own money! Thats right! Find a way to print a massive amount of fake money and use as much of it as you possibly can.. go to town with this one!

This next one is in terrible taste... I don't approve of it at all and I'm the one writing.. If your easily offended please stop reading now.. thanks

#25 Sleep with the Police Chiefs Daughter

Yeah this one doesn't sound that bad at first... BUT you have to make sure that his daughter is fourteen years old, you film it, you have aids, shes drunk, also a virgin, you do it in public, in front of her dad, while under the influence of ecstacy, acid, cocaine, mushrooms, marijuana, crack, pcp, shortly after robbing a bank.. thank you!

 

[Style_Dota]

it actually saddens me you think there are cool ways to go into jail mike :{

Stone's list pretty much is a good example of cool ways to go to jail, but there are others:

Getting caught after a car chase.

You get caught running an undercover russian sex slave chain

Drug lord

Those seem pretty interesting over "I didn't pay $50, and went to jail"

 

[Fatecrashers]

#26 Meeting up with an old man in Italy, drugging his pasta, and photographing him in numerous compromising situations

This is probably too specific to ever apply to anyone.

 

[col49]

imo

 

[moonbase]

That was a great post tho, you didn't have to delete it.......

 

[august]

what about public intoxication am i not cool enough

 

[Snou]

:o what about "unlike" button?

 

[col49]

[2/17/14 11:17:46 AM] Tokyo Tom: ?_?
[2/17/14 11:19:24 AM] Tokyo Tom: I'm Canadian
[2/17/14 11:19:35 AM] Tokyo Tom: 'n don't build my own teams
[2/17/14 11:20:47 AM] Tokyo Tom: Canada isn't even a real place I don't think


[2/18/14 10:42:07 AM] Tokyo Tom: I'm gonna try to revive Laurel x SnowCristal
[2/18/14 10:42:51 AM] Tokyo Tom: To distract people from my love of maple syrup, hockey, and free healthcare
[2/18/14 10:43:33 AM] Tokyo Tom: Because this is a relevant issue to people for reason, and this is something I do not like
[2/18/14 10:43:47 AM] Tokyo Tom: Also for reason
[2/18/14 10:45:02 AM] ben gay: I'm also here, thereby increasing the validity of this log


Go 'way =[