I think that Smogon is becoming hazardous to my health. I'm your prototypical Aspie (a term for a guy with Asperger's, for those who don't know), though I try not to let it affect me too much. Participating on Smogon, however, has taught me that I can't ignore it. As of late, I've been receiving a bunch of hate from Smogonites that I've never interacted with, several of which are influential on the site. I have no legitimate idea what I've done to deserve it, either. As such it's brought out a paranoid, confrontational side of me that I never knew I had. When I see a reply to something of my origin from someone I haven't spoken to here, the first thing that comes into my mind is "he's being an asshole", which is not a good way of thinking.
This is only compounded by my current situation of applying to college. Anyone who's been through the application process knows how stressful it is, even when everyone tells you not to stress. So not only am I anxious as fuck, but sometimes I (falsely) think that all of Smogon is out to get me. There seem to be some actual reliable users here who could help me out, so I would greatly appreciate some advice on this front. I can't keep thinking this way, as not only will the hate seem to never go away, but I won't make myself feel any better, either.
Still, despite Smogon being hazardous to my mental health, I never once thought of leaving it. I have made some friends, and it's the best place to indulge in competitive Pokémon. I just want to continue to become a better battler and contributor to Smogon, though it's not easy to do with a situation like mine. Are the haters making it harder? Or am I making it harder for myself? I really don't know.
Hey - I know I was a little bit more jocular on the college applications thread in response to your worries about college application, and I'm sorry if that offended you (I'm fairly certain that's not what you're referring to, but just in case!). It's not super relevant to this thread, but I'll try and give you some better advice here.
Yes, the application process is stressful as fuck. And yes, it's a lot easier to say "Can you do anything about it? If no, don't stress about it!" than to actually not stress about it. I know firsthand how stressful it is (e.g. I'm going through it right now), although for me it is certainly far less stressful than it is for most - every single school I applied to I will probably get into (they're great schools, but i'm either overqualified or highly qualified), and although I still have the occasional irrational fears of "What-if-I-don't-get-in-anywhere???" I know that those are relatively unfounded.
But still, there is stress - and the people who I'm friends with who are applying to and getting deferred / rejected from their top choice colleges already are experiencing immense amounts of stress too. Through them, I know how hard it can be, and I also have a couple of tips that seem to work for other people. I can't guarantee them, as I'm sort of in the middle of this all myself, but hey, worth a shot.
1. Lose the "what-if" attitude and evaluate your chances of getting in to each institution that you're applying to from a completely objective view. Look at the admissions calculator on the website if they have one, look at the average stats and ranges for people who got in, compare yourself to the graphs that some services offer to see who gets in and who doesn't. From this data, draw a reasonable claim about your chances of getting in (E.G. "I have a small chance of getting in here", "I have a decent chance of getting in here", "I will almost certainly get in here unless something incredibly strange happens"). Although admissions is somewhat of a crapshoot, it isn't completely random - if you aren't qualified, you're probably not getting in, and vice versa.
Once you've figured out what your approximate chances are of getting into each school, the next step is kinda hard. For those schools with low percentages, operate under the probability that you won't get in. Of course, I don't mean that you should slack off on the application itself (that's the only thing that can get you in), but rather that once you've sent in your application and are waiting to hear back, don't expect to get in. This turns down the scary-factor quite a bit - if you get the rejection, it's just what you expected, and if the stars line up and fall into place and you get in, that's a really freaking pleasant surprise. Conversely, be realistic about what schools you probably will get into no matter what. Don't allow fantastic notions of "what if I actually suck!" to constantly enter your head, just remind yourself that they are unfounded - people with your scores overwhelmingly tend to get in, or whatever.
For the schools where it's 50/50, all you can do is accept the uncertainty. Just tell yourself that it's not a guarantee either way, and that the best thing to do is just to let the admissions officers do their work and see where you end up.
2. Understand that there is far, far too much emphasis placed on which college you go to. If you are a good student, and apply to a good selection of schools that fit you, you will almost certainly end up in a place that is incredible for your needs. I've heard a lot of people who ended up "having" to go to colleges far "below" their expected level ending up to be extraordinarily happy with the outcome - because they were so much more high-achieving than the rest of their peers, their professors loved them and they received a disproportionate amount of time and attention that they wouldn't at a school where everyone was as smart or smarter than them.
There are thousands and thousands of great colleges out there, and not all of them are highly visible or well-known, but that doesn't mean they're worth any less. Although the recognition of having gotten into a big-name college is certainly exciting, it is not the end of the world in any way if you don't end up getting in. My math teacher last year told our class at the beginning of the year when everyone was freaking out about applications (the class was mostly seniors) that "After my first job, no one ever asked me what college I got into" - which, while possibly somewhat hyperbolic, is not without some truth. Ultimately, what college you go to matters very little compared to what you do while you're there - and even though you might be waylaid by stats that seem to suggest that you MUST go to this college or else you won't succeed, that is usually merely part and parcel with the hype that made those colleges desirable in the first place.
3. You can not just stop stressing about college. Accept the stress, but do not allow it to ruin your life. Channel the stress into other things if that works for you, or just simply take a sort of meta-cognitive approach and recognize that you have very little to be rationally stressed about, that the stress will be over soon, and that the stress is just you being worried about a threat that really isn't there.
I hope this helped somewhat, and you're always free to message me with more specific worries - I'm not super active these days due to senior year business but I'll get back to you when I can.
In terms of the whole Smogon thing, I haven't specifically seen what you're referring to, but I would imagine it's partly the stress making you more confrontational or touchy than normal (again, pure conjecture). There is probably validity to your claims of asshole-ness, but don't be put off by them. Smogon is full of awesome people, and if you want to leave you're always welcome to, but don't be put off by the actions of a select few.
Best of luck <3