Serious LGBTQ

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KM

slayification
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Welp, this thread could use reviving, no?

It feels more than a bit odd to be posting this here - I guess I feel safer posting this somewhere that people I don't really know and won't have a negative impact on me can, maybe, guide me through this process a bit.

I'm bisexual. It's something I've been increasingly confused about over the last few months, and have finally accepted now. At first, I tried to convince myself otherwise, that it was just some odd hormone thing that came along with puberty, but I can't lie to myself anymore. After that, I tried to convince myself to keep it secret for as long as I possibly could - everything's going rather swimmingly in my 14 year old life right now, and this is one hell of a monkeywrench. With this post, it's just as much of a way for me to come to terms with myself as a way to seek guidance.

This community is the first place I've openly stated this, and while I think some people IRL may have their suspicions, I know most of them don't, and what I'm really worried about is acceptance in that innermost circle of family and closest friends. My mom and dad, while would be more than likely surprised, I like to think wouldn't care much - it doesn't seem like them to treat any person differently based on those kinds of factors. My 7 year old sister, now... either she accepts it or doesn't, and from a young age I'm not sure that opinion can be altered once it's been implemented.

I'm agnostic, so fuck Christians who'll try to shove shit down my throat 0_0 (Especially ironic because I was baptized at birth and went to a Roman Catholic school up until grade 6, but w/e)

I'm not worried about people bullying - Not only could I easily handle myself if they did, but my school is one that is very accepting.

My main question, I guess, is this - How should I come out? Subtly or a bit more outright and to-the-point? My school as an LGBTQ group that I'll begin to attend - is there anything else I should do?

Thanks for your help in advance :]
Krauersaut
Heya, welcome to the thread :) It looks like you're very lucky to live in a relatively accepting community, but that doesn't mean coming out is easy or not a big deal - I know that from experience. Don't feel any pressure to come out, but also I think it's worth recognizing that there is a significant difference between "not pretending to be straight" and "being openly non-straight" - for a long while I convinced myself that as long as I stayed true to myself there was no reason to come out, as I wasn't planning on dating. However, your sexuality is more than just your sexuality - there are a lot of implications, and it helps a lot to be open about it if you truly want to be comfortable with it.

The platitude of "coming out will occur naturally" is sometimes true (and was in my case), but that also doesn't mean you can't go right out and do it. It really is your choice - if you feel more comfortable doing it one by one, all at once, by text, by letter, by talking in person, whatever - it's your choice. Do what you feel comfortable with, when you feel comfortable with it.

I do encourage you to do some more research on bisexuality so you can understand some people's misguided concerns / misinterpretations of what your sexuality is and is not. Bisexuals are often misunderstood by both the straight and gay communities, so it's really important to set the record straight - someone might be accepting, but not really understand what it means to be bisexual. Recognize that you are going to have to deal with comments like "it's fine if you're gay, no reason to use bisexuality as a stepping stone!!!!!!!!" or "why are you being greedy? just choose one and stick with it" or just flat out "bisexuals don't exist", and also recognize that these comments often come from a place of ignorance rather than hatred. You seem to have a pretty good handle on yourself and what you're capable of, and I trust that everything will turn out well.

Best of luck, and keep us updated!
 

Soul Fly

IMMA TEACH YOU WHAT SPLASHIN' MEANS
is a Contributor Alumnus
I'm writing a 15 page paper for an anthropology course on LGBT rights in Uganda / South Africa. One of the areas I need to tackle are possible solutions to said issue. My main point is that the scarcity in Uganda leaves many Ugandans to cling to religion which then reassures their certainty in homophobic ideals. I argue that until we tackle living conditions and such we cannot expect these people to change their outlook on homosexuality or otherwise. Outside of improving living conditions, can any of you think of other possible solutions that might help the situation in Uganda? I'm assuming most of you are familiar with the issues there. Keep in mind this is an anthropology course, so cultural relativism is important.

Yes, I just asked for homework help on smogon, and yes, I acknowledge that this is not the point of this thread. But I'm stuck and could use some help.
A good direction to take in your paper would be the fact that homophobia in the African Continent is mostly a Western Import, and by that I obviously mean Christianity. Which becomes especially important for Anthropological cultural point of view, since you can argue that this concept is not endemic to their country but rather a post colonial wound of European expansion which instead of helping these countries, inseminated these deep dogmas in them. The living conditions also can be traced back to heavy suppression and exploitation of these people.

[Ironically most homophobic african politicias will today claim homosexuality was introduced by whitefolks, another angle to explore. The source material]

This is a good condensed source on this if you haven't already watched, do watch both parts. It's an interview of Pepe Julan Onziema, Uganda's spearhead Gay Rights activist, and he lists some great immediate solutions from socio-political point of view. It's a great, great segment done by John Oliver.
(
) PT. 1
(
) PT. 2


As for Cultural Relativistic material....
You can write a great deal about Native African tribal culture, many of them were (from the conservative western POV) radical in terms of gender equality, if not outright matriarchal. (You can find a quick list here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_matrilineal_or_matrilocal_societies) Motherhood and Femininity found a deep reverence and sanctity in these tribal cultures. Homosexuality was revered, and in many cultures children were inducted into manhood in a ceremony were a male of the tribe would give them a handjob (no kidding. i forgot the name of the tribe though) Even Intersex people were revered as prophets and deities in some cultures, because they believed only an omnipotent, transcendental being could posses the features of both man and woman.

And their value systems being eroded and forcefully proselytized by Christian Missionaries for centuries, upto this day, and a most urgent way to respect these rights would be to start reflecting back on their history and heritage and instituting protective measures to save these tribal customs and culture from going extinct, as these may hold the key to greater equality, which doesn't have any room in the intolerant and dogmatic Christianity currently espoused by the state. I'll lists some very brief (many non critical/non expert... very dubious to be cited) sources. Ideally you'll want to hit the library for this. If you have time, DO read 'The Masque of Africa' by V.S Naipaul. IT's an excellent book on African culture and Spirituality.

(http://nehandaradio.com/2010/03/28/african-myths-about-homosexuality/)
(http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/4066801?uid=3738256&uid=2&uid=4&sid=21105452727403)
(http://www.bilerico.com/2008/02/transgender_history_trans_expression_in.php) [Check out thew small bit on Africa, tribe names are important]
(http://freethoughtblogs.com/yemmyni...ty-or-transsexualism-un-african-or-unnatural/)
 

Bughouse

Like ships in the night, you're passing me by
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It's worth noting that Uganda is a particularly bad place and that some of Africa is much, much better for LGBT individuals. Botswana and Mozambique come to mind as countries that have recently passed laws against some important forms LGBT discrimination. There may be some sort of case study in why LGBT individuals in Uganda (and a lot of Africa) have it so much worse off than they do in those two countries.
 
Yeah I mean that's one of the reasons I'm focusing on Uganda. You can pretty much fuck / marry anyone you want in South Africa even though about 90% of its population disagrees with homosexuality etc. I'm focusing on the movements from other countries like SA and then comparing / contrasting them to Uganda. Problem is I can't just say "Uganda should follow South Africa!" since not only did SA go through apartheid but I'd also be generalizing every African country to work the same.
I would use a bit of legal determinism; most countries in Africa were colonies of Euro states, so they kept their common law systems and legal traditions post-independence. These legal traditions generally proscribed homosexual activity. Because many of these countries had "more important things to do" than change their social regulations (like infrastructure, maintenance of borders, civil wars, disease, malnutrition), these older legal regimes persist.

Obviously, that's only part of a much larger picture, one which will probably involve quite a bit of historical materialism. Just make sure to keep your inquiry as narrowly tailored to the subject matter as possible; you might have to throw out a few countries to save space/your own sanity.
 

Myzozoa

to find better ways to say what nobody says
is a Top Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Past WCoP Champion
well i think it is certainly true that monogamy, hetero-homosexual distinction, etc are western imports, I don't see that as a constructive framework for crafting endogenous solutions. Suggesting that the weakness of the ostensibly secular central state, a state that with more funding/territorial control might be able to bring populations out of the grip of regressive church ideologies, is a factor in the proliferation of 'homophobia' is a better starting point for brainstorming solutions (which will be investing in education, infrastructure, and health services that are currently provided by churches who proselytize 'repressively').

I cannot really agree with soul fly though, historicizing identity is a common political strategy, i.e, mobilizing around a historical (mythology of) identity is an organizing strategy (to be) taken up by politicians or social movements, not a solution in itself or a framework for crafting a solution. It is more a means of getting elected in a representative democracy, or repressed very violently if a movement coalesces, than a framework that prescribes solutions because it's good for raising awareness, but not necessarily the best indicator for other things.

One logical end to the argument that these concepts are western imports is that these concepts have finally been internalized: "ugandans" no longer think of themselves using the language/system of meanings that were in place prior to colonization. It even shows in how you presented it, 'initiation into manhood or w.e via handjob', do you imagine that they used equivalent terms, or that it signified homosexuality qua 'the western conception' of homosexuality? Is it really conceivable to return to the pre-colonial past?

There is a practice of female genital mutilation in Africa, according to a Western perspective, it consists in the burning or cutting of the clitoris. Yet the term 'female genital mutilation' is not extended to 'western' plastic surgery, anorexia, bulimia, feminization of alcoholism, etc. see Isabelle R Gunning, "cutting through the obfuscation: female genital surgeries in neo-imperial culture." in Talking Visions, editted by Ella Shohat. MIT Press. Double standards are an inevitable and alienating feature of anthropologies' (grammar intended) supposed contributions to framing political problems. Most Western perspectives have not followed central methodological prescriptions in making determinations about non-western cultures and bodies.


the idea that places are good or bad for lgbtq people because of the laws they have on the books must be questioned, Israel would be one of the best places for LGBTQ people by this measure...

Honestly I think it would almost be a better strategy to distinguish between 'emancipating' church ideologies and repressive ones, if you're going to go the 'cultural re-imagining' route, as opposed to a socio-economic route. studies of 'liberation theology' have primarily dealt with Islam and Catholicism so im not sure how helpful it is in Uganda's case.

basically I dont think the problem in uganda is that people are unaware of colonial influence, and just need to return to some pre-colonial cultural mode. It would, in my opinion, be a continuation of the colonial project within the humanities to continue to make determinations about what western sexual modes existed in pre-european contact africa.
 
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Soul Fly

IMMA TEACH YOU WHAT SPLASHIN' MEANS
is a Contributor Alumnus
well i think it is certainly true that monogamy, hetero-homosexual distinction, etc are western imports, I don't see that as a constructive framework for crafting endogenous solutions. Suggesting that the weakness of the ostensibly secular central state, a state that with more funding/territorial control might be able to bring populations out of the grip of regressive church ideologies, is a factor in the proliferation of 'homophobia' is a better starting point for brainstorming solutions (which will be investing in education, infrastructure, and health services that are currently provided by churches who proselytize 'repressively').

I cannot really agree with soul fly though, historicizing identity is a common political strategy, i.e, mobilizing around a historical (mythology of) identity is an organizing strategy (to be) taken up by politicians or social movements, not a solution in itself or a framework for crafting a solution. It is more a means of getting elected in a representative democracy, or repressed very violently if a movement coalesces, than a framework that prescribes solutions because it's good for raising awareness, but not necessarily the best indicator for other things.

[HIDE TAGS HERE]
If you noticed I was responding in the strict Cultural Historicist viewpoint, since he's doing an Anthropology paper after all, and specifically ask for the Cultural Relativism and how it played into this. I would also definitely not tout total re-education or something. NO culture till date has been a gold standard of perfect secularism, but the point here being heping the greater African Populace help relate to a shared historicity (Imagine something similar to what Toni Morrison does with the slave narrative.) It's very close to the process of "Rememory", i.e getting a sociological group alienated from a forgotten past to reconnect with it. Though yes, more often than not it leads to patriotic jigoism, with then harms nations in other ways entirely, there being extreme cases like say, North Korea and ISIS, and it can then have a reverse effect as people zealously look to preserving purity or ethnicity/religion/culture whatnot.

For better or the worse it's a globalized world, and like any other country, a strong foundation of human rights and secularism is he way forward. Then that seeps majorly into a sociological domain. I think this has moved beyond those obvious measures. We are talking about culturally exclusive solutions and the rich anthropological history of Africa, and how it can help influence a society which still connects to it to some level, than say the Renaissance and Post-Revolutionary ideals of Liberty, Egality and Fraternity. The ends should ideally be the same - a secular egalitarian society. It's the question of means.

This still can be written exclusively as a post-colonial paper if you choose to do so. It just wouldn't be as anthropologically relevant.
 
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Adamant Zoroark

catchy catchphrase
is a Contributor Alumnus

This might be the best thing I've ever seen.

If I ever see one of those crazy nutjob homophobic fundamentalist Christians on my Facebook news feed, they're getting a link to this. NEW WEAPON.
 
I've been meaning to pop back here for some time now, but I just wanted to thank those who were supportive early on of me transitioning. I realize I'm not exactly connected with the community, but early on this site's acceptance was pretty important.

I'm 7 months into hormones now and feeling great. :)

this site still has the worst smilie selection ever though...
 
if you believe that your parents' attitude towards you would be significantly altered emotionally, physically, financially, or any other way, and you value the benefits of their ignorance more than their knowledge, then you're certainly allowed to delay telling them until you move out. in the case of your sister, though, I would tell her if you feel comfortable doing so. Having someone inside the family who already knows and is supportive can be really helpful when you actually do get around to coming out - especially if she's involved in that conversation.

I wouldn't be overly put off by your father's ignorance, though. The fact that he even directly asked you when you were 15 and that there seems to be a running discourse between him and your mother as to your sexuality suggests that he is somewhat capable of dealing with it - or at least has considered the possibility. A lot of people are ignorant, but when "gay" becomes a close family member rather than a nameless, formless concept they often are more willing to move past their ignorance and see things from your perspective.

You aren't obligated to come out to anyone, as ultimately it is your choice who you share your sexuality with. However, your question seems to be more of a matter of when than if, so I have to come back to the first sentence. Come out when it makes sense, when you feel comfortable with it, when you're ready.
Sorry to bring this back, but I have a nice little update. Just two hours ago, I came out to my sister! :)

We were driving home together from my grandpa's house, and since we were talking about religion, I subtly steered the conversation topic to gay rights. Now, I've always known she was 100% supportive, but as sort of a lead in, I asked a series of relevant questions to pry more specific thoughts/opinions before I was ready to tell her.

After a few minutes of feeling my heart nervously pounding, I did it. She was naturally a bit shocked at first, but immediately said that she loves and supports me no matter what. After that, we just discussed it for the rest of the drive home, and then at home until my parents arrived ~45 minutes later. I openly answered every question she had, did some storytelling that I've already done here, and made it clear that she's free to talk to me about it anytime. :)

An important thing I learned, however, is that there is indeed dialogue between my parents about me being gay. My sister said not to worry about a bad reaction from them, as she's certain they'll also love and support me no matter what. When I told her about my dad's "disgusting" comment, she told me I probably misinterpreted it as homophobia, rather than him not wanting to see so much cuddling on TV. (still unsure. lol) Also, without me prompting her, she said that even if it does make him uncomfortable at first, having a family member that's gay will help foster support. I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

Also, a bit of a strange anecdote, but yesterday, she said my dad asked her about me. Due to that and our conversation in the car, she was going to ask me if I hadn't told her. o_O


I feel so happy right now. It's incredible. Thank you to everyone who has given me advice here, it's been a tremendous help, and I'm nearly done with the coming out process!

Also, when we got home, she embraced me with a hug and almost started crying. It was a magical moment. :D
 

Cresselia~~

Junichi Masuda likes this!!
Sorry to bring this back, but I have a nice little update. Just two hours ago, I came out to my sister! :)

We were driving home together from my grandpa's house, and since we were talking about religion, I subtly steered the conversation topic to gay rights. Now, I've always known she was 100% supportive, but as sort of a lead in, I asked a series of relevant questions to pry more specific thoughts/opinions before I was ready to tell her.

After a few minutes of feeling my heart nervously pounding, I did it. She was naturally a bit shocked at first, but immediately said that she loves and supports me no matter what. After that, we just discussed it for the rest of the drive home, and then at home until my parents arrived ~45 minutes later. I openly answered every question she had, did some storytelling that I've already done here, and made it clear that she's free to talk to me about it anytime. :)

An important thing I learned, however, is that there is indeed dialogue between my parents about me being gay. My sister said not to worry about a bad reaction from them, as she's certain they'll also love and support me no matter what. When I told her about my dad's "disgusting" comment, she told me I probably misinterpreted it as homophobia, rather than him not wanting to see so much cuddling on TV. (still unsure. lol) Also, without me prompting her, she said that even if it does make him uncomfortable at first, having a family member that's gay will help foster support. I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

Also, a bit of a strange anecdote, but yesterday, she said my dad asked her about me. Due to that and our conversation in the car, she was going to ask me if I hadn't told her. o_O


I feel so happy right now. It's incredible. Thank you to everyone who has given me advice here, it's been a tremendous help, and I'm nearly done with the coming out process!

Also, when we got home, she embraced me with a hug and almost started crying. It was a magical moment. :D
Congrats! And it went so smoothly.


This might be the best thing I've ever seen.

If I ever see one of those crazy nutjob homophobic fundamentalist Christians on my Facebook news feed, they're getting a link to this. NEW WEAPON.
I just go on and unfriend them, to be honest.
Especially those who obviously lack knowledge.

I actually think that Paul might be gay.
He said he had this problem that he wanted God to take away from him, but it never happened.
And he also said that some people might not enjoy women. He never mentioned about him falling in love with a woman. He even said that people without that pleasure may use it to become more close to God.
With this, I think it's possible that LG people make good monks and nuns.
As long as they don't have sex, they are completely clean, right?

Jesus on the other hand might be asexual instead. Since Gods and angels do not need to reproduce and are originally gender less.
 
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KM

slayification
is a Community Contributoris a Tiering Contributor
Sorry to bring this back, but I have a nice little update. Just two hours ago, I came out to my sister! :)

We were driving home together from my grandpa's house, and since we were talking about religion, I subtly steered the conversation topic to gay rights. Now, I've always known she was 100% supportive, but as sort of a lead in, I asked a series of relevant questions to pry more specific thoughts/opinions before I was ready to tell her.

After a few minutes of feeling my heart nervously pounding, I did it. She was naturally a bit shocked at first, but immediately said that she loves and supports me no matter what. After that, we just discussed it for the rest of the drive home, and then at home until my parents arrived ~45 minutes later. I openly answered every question she had, did some storytelling that I've already done here, and made it clear that she's free to talk to me about it anytime. :)

An important thing I learned, however, is that there is indeed dialogue between my parents about me being gay. My sister said not to worry about a bad reaction from them, as she's certain they'll also love and support me no matter what. When I told her about my dad's "disgusting" comment, she told me I probably misinterpreted it as homophobia, rather than him not wanting to see so much cuddling on TV. (still unsure. lol) Also, without me prompting her, she said that even if it does make him uncomfortable at first, having a family member that's gay will help foster support. I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

Also, a bit of a strange anecdote, but yesterday, she said my dad asked her about me. Due to that and our conversation in the car, she was going to ask me if I hadn't told her. o_O


I feel so happy right now. It's incredible. Thank you to everyone who has given me advice here, it's been a tremendous help, and I'm nearly done with the coming out process!

Also, when we got home, she embraced me with a hug and almost started crying. It was a magical moment. :D
so proud of you <3 WOOOOOOOOOO progress hi 5
 

KM

slayification
is a Community Contributoris a Tiering Contributor
I just go on and unfriend them, to be honest.
Especially those who obviously lack knowledge.

I actually think that Paul might be gay.
He said he had this problem that he wanted God to take away from him, but it never happened.
And he also said that some people might not enjoy women. He never mentioned about him falling in love with a woman. He even said that people without that pleasure may use it to become more close to God.
With this, I think it's possible that LG people make good monks and nuns.
As long as they don't have sex, they are completely clean, right?

Jesus on the other hand might be asexual instead. Since Gods and angels do not need to reproduce and are originally gender less.
Er, where to start......

I think you'll find the concept of an asexual Jesus rather hard to uphold - you might be confused on the definition of asexuality. It is not the lack of a need to reproduce or anything to do with gender, but rather an apathy or disgust of sexual relations.

Re: the monks and nuns, ignoring the implications that any sexual act that isn't between a man and a woman and church approved is "unclean", there were actually quite a lot of monks who experienced same-sex attraction. (As you can tell, I hesitate to use modern descriptors of sexuality when referring to other cultures and time periods, as - while sexuality and gender are universal concepts - the cultural expressions and manifestations of those concepts vary greatly) Not only did these monks and nuns experience same-sex attraction, they often acted on it. Indeed, some people even joined monasteries or nunneries for the express purpose of being in an environment with other people with same-sex attractions. Multi-person bedrooms and seclusion from the rest of society were catalysts for same-sex behavior (and what better place to do it than one where you can repent your "sins" directly afterwards!)

On a tangential note, I find the conspiracy I came up with over Christmas about the birth of Jesus to be far more compelling. I was setting up the nativity scene, and all of a sudden I wondered why there was this random shepherd girl in the scene. The obvious logical step was that the shepherd girl was actually a shepherd boy who had sex with mary, prompting her to come up with the story of the immaculate conception, fooling the simple-minded Joseph.

Oh, and I also made Joseph have a four-way with the three wise men (their hands just naturally went to the right place, it's not my fault!)
 

Krauersaut

h.t.d.t.
is a Top Social Media Contributor Alumnus
Status update:

Thanks Kitten Milk and everyone else, I came out with a post on Facebook to friends and I had a chat with my dad which went fantastically. I froze up saying "I", followed by "I am", and then finally after an awkward 10 seconds, "I am bisexual", but the relief i feel right now is tangible. I'd have also told my mom, but she's sleeping with my 7 year old sister whom I don't feel should be introduced to this quite yet.

Anyway, thanks again - I feel 20 pounds lighter ;]
 

Cresselia~~

Junichi Masuda likes this!!
Actually, I need you guys to help because I think I might not be really bisexual.
I read that a lot of straight females like to look at breasts too, and sometimes even gay men like to look too.
I so far am not interested in the bottom parts of females at all.

So I think it is possible that I am straight but have breast fetish?

What do you guys think?
 
Actually, I need you guys to help because I think I might not be really bisexual.
I read that a lot of straight females like to look at breasts too, and sometimes even gay men like to look too.
I so far am not interested in the bottom parts of females at all.

So I think it is possible that I am straight but have breast fetish?

What do you guys think?
Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with someone of the same gender? That's the most important question.

I know a couple of gay guys that actually don't find **** appealing, but they suck it up (literally and figuratively) because they love who it's attached too.

I don't know anything about you besides that you're a female who's questioning her sexuality. No one can tell you what you are - you need to do all the heavy lifting. Looking at breasts isn't going to turn me straight any more then it would turn you into a lesbian or bisexual. Really, some experimentation here may be what you need for some clarity.
 
is **** anal? u can say anal
No, it's what you use to do anal. I wasn't sure if we could use it or not so I decided to just cover it up.

Speaking of anal, any of my fellow gays not enjoy it? Have only done it once and never looked back.
 
I know I'm not much of a presence here in Cong (I really only am in OMs and occasionally in CAP, and very little of either lately) so probably not many of you know me, but...yeah, I'm a person.

So before I get to my point, I'll explain my background--I'm the child of a woman with a fundamentalist Baptist upbringing and a former drug addict turned Lutheran Deacon. Both are extreme right wing Christians. They're not bad people when you get to know them, but they accept things at face value--both condemn sexualities other than hetero, trans, and you get the gist. They never stopped to question anything. Of course, when I was young, I followed their views because what else was I going to do? However, come 2013 I was starting to think for myself. I'm the kind of person who questions everything and the first target of my new-found freewill was the doctrine I was raised on. I was agnostic for most of that year, which led to my redeveloping my views on a great deal of subjects. I approached Christianity again in 2014 with a much more secular perspective, examining the tenets of the faith, beliefs, and evidence for the historical events presented in the New Testament with a critical eye. I was surprised to find I agreed with the evidence and I found myself drawn back. Now let me just stop you right there--I'm not starting a religious argument and I'm going to ignore anyone who tries to start one. The important part was now I was ripping every tenet of the faith to pieces and ignoring the long-established views. I questioned everything, searched the Bible over for all these passages people cite condemning homosexuality and the like, and...didn't find anything. There wasn't a single passage I could find that seemed to condemn homosexuality that wasn't easily dismissed because of Jesus abolishing the laws in Leviticus, or what the original Greek actually says (talking about the ἀρσενοκοῒται issue).

So naturally this got me back to questioning myself. I wasn't questioning my sexuality as I was my gender; I don't have the words to describe my gender dysphoric feelings (I'm terrible at describing feelings, as someone who was once mistaken for alexithymic, although I'm not). But to say it as best I can, I don't feel right about fitting the concept of masculinity--not physically, not emotionally, not culturally. It's just...not me. I won't waste space going into detail. So, shortly, I'm a transgender MtF lesbian. This isn't quite my coming out, since I already came out to my closest friends and changed my gender to female on the sites I'm on, but it's close as the first time I've publicly discussed it.

This presents a problem, however. While my standpoint changed drastically, my parents' is still the same. I have no idea how to approach them about it--my mother is pliable enough that, given time, I could use the evidence to sway her to my side, but my father is a different story. He's still a diehard fundamentalist and made his decisions long ago. It's not even been that long and I'm already depressed about it (granted I have a depressive disorder). I'm not really asking for advice on coming out to my parents (but if you have experience with conservatives that could help I'm open to it I suppose), only asking that you understand my dilemma. Which is a common one, I'd assume. I've never really learned how to handle depression (I used to laugh it off and that doesn't work anymore) and this issue is really eating at me.

This song is a beautiful one that kind of fits my current state, and I thought I'd share it.

"Just because they told you so
That doesn’t make it true
Sometimes the only sure things are
The instincts inside you

And time ain't your friend
Beauty always has to end
It’s fine to be scared
We get here so unprepared

And when you think you’ve seen it all....

Every time you look around
Life is gonna try to keep you down
Every time you look away
Someone’s gonna come lead you astray

With the flick of a wrist
And the wink of an eye
With the twist of a tail
On the roll of a die
But keep your head held high..."
 
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