Coming Out (about mons)

[Shrug]

This is not a thread about telling your parents you're gay, which is cool, but not what I'm going to get into.

How do you explain to your girlfriend that despite the fact that her parents are gone at 2pm on a Saturday you cannot come over because she has a vagina 365 days a year and Heist vs. Ojama only happens once? How do you tell your parents the innocuous GBA game (Ruby for me) they bought you ended up being relevant in your life 10+ years later? How do you tell your friends the funny joke you just made was lifted from one of (approx.) 10000 shitposts made smogon.com, a competitive pokemon website, daily? Basically, how do you break it to the people in your life that you are a Pokemon-playing fiend?

Jabba had a smog article on avoiding having to do this, and there's another thread here if you have legitimate concerns or troubles related to the fact people are against you playing mons. I just want to know of some of the ways users disclose this (potentially awkward) information to new people.

 

[Blazade]

Met one of my best friends in college because I was playing Shoddy Battle in the dorm hallway 5 years ago. People that don't play competitive pokemon still get it as long as they're not completely closed minded. Would you feel any worse about playing Hearthstone or MTG, or some kind of board game? The only difference between any of that and pokemon is the "for kids" stigma which shouldn't be a problem if the person is worth talking to.

I don't talk to my parents a whole lot about the nerdy shit I do in my life, but that's not cause they wouldn't care or they would think I was weird, they just wouldn't get it beyond vaguest descriptions like "I wen't to a tournament". As for friends and a gf, those people fill those roles in my life for a reason; they understand my personality and why playing pokemon can fit into that.

 

[Arcticblast]

I just tell people up front that I play an unhealthy amount of Pokemon. Only my closer friends know it's "might be a serious problem" level, but I've told almost everybody I know that I play a ton.

Just say it. Nobody is actually going to think less of you. As for the girlfriend situation, actually that one isn't really valid because we live in a glorious age where you can watch replays of Pokemon matches ;) but she'll probably let it slide if she's a keeper tbh

 

[WaterBomb]

Considering I'm 30 years old my parents couldn't care less whether I play Pokemon or not. My wife knows I play and she's perfectly accepting. She has even attended multiple meetups I've organized with many other Smogonites. A few of my friends know I play pokemon as well as some coworkers. It's not really a secret, but it's also not widespread knowledge. It's not exactly something that would come up in most conversations, so I just haven't had occasion to mention it to a lot of people. I'll occasionally post pokemon-related things on my facebook feed as well.

I think the "stigma" of playing pokemon as an adult has become far less sharp in recent years, past the point where even calling it a "stigma" isn't really accurate. Sure there are a few sweaty mongoloids who still judge and poke fun at us, but they are the distinct minority and hardly worth even worrying about.

From my experience, the best way to approach this is as you would any other hobby, such as sports, exercise, cooking, movies, music, or other video games. People will not pay extra attention to it unless you draw attention to it yourself. tl;dr if you speak of it as something ordinary, others will react to it as something ordinary.

 

[PinoyTater]

My randomly selected roommate whom I lived with during my first year of college actually played as much Pokemon as I did and we both started playing on Showdown that year. Two years later we're still roommates in our apartment. Some of my friends now who I also met during my first year in college played games such as League and Hearthstone, all coincidentally; I didn't join the E-Sports club or purposefully seek out gamers like myself. I guess I was lucky in that regard since it wasn't as awkward to mention.

With my closer friends (excluding my roommate who is just as nerdy as I am), they didn't care that I still played mons. They all have forged relationships with me for different reasons other than mons so it it wasn't a big deal when I mentioned the "nerdy" shit that I did. And true friends don't really judge you for that kind of stuff anyway and I don't think there's much of a stigma about playing video games nowadays when your older (as mentioned above). I don't play an obscene amount anything either so its not like it affected our friendships in the slightest, so I guess it could be different for others who play much more, but I doubt it matters that much.

 

[Shinryu]

The irony is if Pokemon was seen as a big e-sport like LoL, we all might be celebrities or getting full ride scholarships instead of it being viewed as some dirty secret...

Anyways on topic, if you've made it into adulthood and still play Pokemon, your parents probably don't care. Depending on your GF's interest, you can always try getting her interested in stuff you like. But at the end of the day, it's ultimately just another hobby like Waterbomb said, and unless you make it out to be something other than what it is, it's nothing extraordinary.

 

[Soul Fly]

How do you explain to your girlfriend that despite the fact that her parents are gone at 2pm on a Saturday you cannot come over because she has a vagina 365 days a year and Heist vs. Ojama only happens once?

You don't, it's still criminal unless you're Heist OR Ojama. Replays are a thing, you can't rewind back to 2PM on Saturday.

 

[Cresselia~~]

Telling real life people about how much you like Pokemon isn't that embarrassing.
Pretty much everyone on my facebook knows I play Pokemon.

But telling real life people that you are a fan of *insert ugly Pokemon here*, is a completely different story.

 

[BKC]

How do you explain to your girlfriend that despite the fact that her parents are gone at 2pm on a Saturday you cannot come over because she has a vagina 365 days a year and Heist vs. Ojama only happens once

twice, actually; unfortunately for her, she missed the tour series. but yeah fuck you!!!

and she thought it was awesome thanks very much

 

[Every1XplodeNOW]

I'm way past the point of giving a fuck what people think, so most people know. My family has never cared and as far as I know, my friends don't either. So yeah I just tell them.

 

[Stratos]

twice, actually; unfortunately for her, she missed the tour series. but yeah fuck you!!!

and she thought it was awesome thanks very much

>reuni war
>awesome

idk how old you are shrug or how serious the op was but now that im in college nobody seems to give a fuck that i like pokemon. i play pokemon showdown in class frequently, one time i had a scheduled match and i decided to go hang out with my friends at a party at the time of the match so i brought my laptop along and played my match at the party. i have literally never once gotten a negative comment; only some "what is that?" and a surprising amount of "competitive pokemon? i used to play that shit, mind if i watch your match?" i mean i dont go around advertising that im a mons player because i think doing that for any hobby is kind of faggy but im not scared of revealing it at all, although i kept it secret throughout middle/high school

 

[Shrug]

idk how old you are shrug or how serious the op was

Thanks for the responses everyone!
Hahahaha yeah the OP wasn't too serious, I thought it would seem annoying / faggish if i just said "i dont wanna tell my friends i play mons is this normal" and wanted to be a little engaging. I've never literally turned down coitus to watch a pokemon match, that was slight hyperbole :). But thanks for the responses guys, in general I've found I'm more comfortable sharing my mons hobby in areas where it is acceptable, i.e when i was drafted onto the math team and the entire conversation revolved around LoL / anime (two subjects i had no idea about) i talked about mons as that seemed normal in that context, but am loathe to share my mons habit with people say on the lax team. This sort of embarrassment seems common to people who play online fictionalized games etc, including mons; everyone has seen people refer to trophies they've clearly worked very hard for as "16x16 pngs under my username" (i have none but bear with me). I was just hoping to talk about that, like why are we all at least partially ashamed of something we do for fun when revealing it usually has no negative repercussions (everyone I've told has been chill about it).

 

[Shiny_Tyranitar]

I'm very up front about playing pokemon with my friends, acquaintances, professors, I could go on. Most people I've told think nothing of it. Some ask the question "why?" And, I tell them that I enjoy the strategy element that is involved. Nobody has shunned me for it, and I'm 26 and going into my final year of law school.

As for dating, my pokemon play has never turned someone off of me, and, actually, it has been more of a positive for my (practically non-existent) dating life. Go figure.

 

[TheFourthChaser]

The whole idea of "coming out" about it makes it a way bigger deal than it actually is. If it doesn't need to come up, don't bring it up. If it comes up, there's no reason to treat it like a big deal. Watching Heist v Ojama if you aren't one of them over your girlfriend is kinda weird, but otherwise its just a hobby you enjoy so why freak out about it? I recently took a bunch of days off work so I could go to Seattle and Salt Lake for VGC, when I got back all I got were questions of interest and not "you lame motherfucker". If someone gives you shit about it they may not be someone you'd want to be talking to in the first place lol

 

[Lavos]

I'm in a similar boat as BKC, my girlfriend is not at all a gamer and hasn't touched a Pokemon cart in her life. Yet when I explained the whole Smogon thing she found it interesting and actually sat next to me and watched me play a couple of my SPL matches. She thought it was awesome how ~100 people who had mostly never met each other were reacting in a chat box to every move my opponent and I made. Note that this was only after we'd been dating for 8 months or so, I don't think it would have went over too well on the first dinner.

As far as my friends and acquaintances go, some of them know and some don't. I'm not flamboyant about my habit, but I'm not shy about it either. If it comes up, it comes up. And considering the fondness a lot of my generation has for Pokemon, I have yet to be judged for it, although some wonder what the interest is in playing it competitively. I'm not known as that nerd or that Pokemon guy, and I think that's because the people I choose to associate with are mature and intelligent enough not to whittle down the content of my character to one fun online game. So my advice is not to "come out", because there shouldn't be a closet in the first place

 

[Stratos]

I'm in a similar boat as BKC, my girlfriend is not at all a gamer and hasn't touched a Pokemon cart in her life. Yet when I explained the whole Smogon thing she found it interesting and actually sat next to me and watched me play a couple of my SPL matches. She thought it was awesome how ~100 people who had mostly never met each other were reacting in a chat box to every move my opponent and I made. Note that this was only after we'd been dating for 8 months or so, I don't think it would have went over too well on the first dinner.

As far as my friends and acquaintances go, some of them know and some don't. I'm not flamboyant about my habit, but I'm not shy about it either. If it comes up, it comes up. And considering the fondness a lot of my generation has for Pokemon, I have yet to be judged for it, although some wonder what the interest is in playing it competitively. I'm not known as that nerd or that Pokemon guy, and I think that's because the people I choose to associate with are mature and intelligent enough not to whittle down the content of my character to one fun online game. So my advice is not to "come out", because there shouldn't be a closet in the first place

did u show her u vs tiba cuz thats like guaranteed to land her in ur bed

 

[Darth Manaphy]

Most of my friends either love Pokemon or love things that are like Pokemon or foreign. So I never had much problem telling my friends that. And those that weren't like that never thought much about what I do. I guess it's just the kind of person I like to hang around with.

My family just never cared about it, because everyone in my family had their own sort of obsessions.

 

[Cresselia~~]

My boyfriend and I met each other in a Pokemon tournament.
So I never needed to 'come out' towards him.
We also play Monster Hunter and Puzzle and Dragons together. (But I'm really shitty in both games)

 

[The Requiem]

If someone makes you feel like you need to "come out" about liking Pokémon, you probably dont need that person in your life in the first place.

 

[faint]

When I was younger it wasn't cool to play Pokemon past 3rd grade. I was a relatively closet Pokemon player during that time + middle school because of that. During high school I noticed people into Yu-Gi-Oh, MTG, and all sorts of other nerdy shit, so at that point I set fuck it and didn't care who knew. In college it's even more accepting. I don't play my 3DS much anymore but when BW2 and X/Y came out I would play my 3DS before class started and still having conversations with the people around me. I'd get plenty of street passes a day from people playing mons and other niche titles. Your parents really shouldn't care how you spend your free time. If you enjoy something and it doesn't cause direct or indirect harm to others do whatever you want to do.

 

[Chou Toshio]

Updated my facebook to announce when I reached the top 10 on the randbats ladder while messing around on the train to/from work.

 

[ComebackBlue]

Pokemon is awesome because almost everybody (my age) I have met have had some experience with Pokemon whether it be with the show or the video game or the trading cards. Of course the first thing you're going to hear is "Pikachu" but I haven't met anybody my age who can't list off 5 pokemon from the top of their heads. What I do is I joke about being mature then whip out my showdown and I play a match then I let them battle (usually random battles) while I give them tips. When they see how difficult it actually is to play they don't mind.

 

[Deaga]

....People are still "closeted" about playing Pokémon?

I mean, I can get it if you're in Middle or High School because by then everyone is being retarded trying to be "all grown up" so they wouldn't leave you alone for playing a "kid's game", but past that... Nobody gives a shit, I guess ?_? It's just one of your hobbies. And everyone has hobbies, you know.

 

[jumpluff]

I've never had a problem with this, but take it with a grain of salt because I've also been unpopular all my life and therefore can get away with liking Pokémon since nobody cares anyway. But hilariously, when I moved to university, one of the only things I could connect to other people in my dorms over was Pokémon! Most of them had at least played the first generation and plenty had played XY because of the nostalgia renaissance. I brought a few of my plushies to school and some people loved them. To be honest I downplayed how much I knew about Pokémon because I didn't really want to have to explain what I spent the last seven years doing, but I found I could read from how they talked about their favourite Pokémon how much people were interested in shit like competitive battling and scale up how I spoke about it accordingly. People battled heaps in my dorm as well, my one regret about leaving that place is that I didn't get the opportunity to destroy anyone.

I speculate it's like most interests. If it seems to dominate your life in a way people can't relate to, it'll come off as weird and off-putting. If you play it off as cool, it can either be some quirky thing you know a lot about or something you can connect to others with, if only based on shared childhood experiences. You don't have to treat it like some awful secret, just mention it if it's relevant or strike up a conversation about childhood games or something. I think your examples are facetious, but:

How do you explain to your girlfriend that despite the fact that her parents are gone at 2pm on a Saturday you cannot come over because she has a vagina 365 days a year and Heist vs. Ojama only happens once?

Honestly, I would find this really offputting and my ex played as many video games as I did. This is why I'm assuming your examples are facetious though, because I sure hope you wouldn't talk to your gf like that for reals. If you're not into it or don't wanna hang out or have priorities, it's like any other thing, you explain you have stuff to do. If Pokémon is such a big deal to you that it really does take up a lot of your life then don't hide it from your gf, I guess? Just say a bunch of your friends play Pokémon and they already scheduled stuff and you'd love to come over but you'd like to be there, go hang out with her some other time and make sure she feels like you have time for her. I mean you don't have to share everything with your partner, especially depending on the length of the relationship, but I guess I'd like to know about my partner's hobbies?

How do you tell your parents the innocuous GBA game (Ruby for me) they bought you ended up being relevant in your life 10+ years later?

thank them for the present and say that even though they probably don't remember what they got you anymore, you made a bunch of cool friends and had a lot of fun because of it and it meant a lot to you, thank them for doing stuff for you in the past, hide your report card.

How do you tell your friends the funny joke you just made was lifted from one of (approx.) 10000 shitposts made smogon.com, a competitive pokemon website, daily?

Steal credit for it or claim you saw it on reddit/4ch somewhere (the Smogon poster almost certainly did) or link them to the thread and laugh over it together i guess. Link them to a sim and do randbats and try not to thrash them too hard and convert them even.

 

[Stratos]

Honestly, I would find this really offputting and my ex played as many video games as I did. This is why I'm assuming your examples are facetious though, because I sure hope you wouldn't talk to your gf like that for reals. If you're not into it or don't wanna hang out or have priorities, it's like any other thing, you explain you have stuff to do. If Pokémon is such a big deal to you that it really does take up a lot of your life then don't hide it from your gf, I guess? Just say a bunch of your friends play Pokémon and they already scheduled stuff and you'd love to come over but you'd like to be there, go hang out with her some other time and make sure she feels like you have time for her. I mean you don't have to share everything with your partner, especially depending on the length of the relationship, but I guess I'd like to know about my partner's hobbies?

the heist vs ojama thing was a reference to this quote jsyk