After that near death experience, here is my current team:

I'm doing a nuzlocke on my diamond! also no gay fanfic shit...
Okay, so here I start my nuzlocke run. My retarded rival brings me to the lake, we steal shit, kill some animals, etc. We're fuckin hardcore. I mull over which pokemon i should start with, but I end up using Turtwig. I've never used him before and since i can't make sacrifices to wear down roark to put him in mach punch range, and piplup is ass, he just seems the most solid. STAB earthquake doesnt hurt as well 8) so i was hoping to not find a pokemon before i got my poke balls. the rng hates me. i ran into a starly (WANT) which i had to kill for experience. I got the talk from rowan and headed on down route 200whatever. Dawn showed me how to catch a pokemon (turns out you have to throw the poke ball or something its really complicated). I got my poke balls from dawn, and got my wish; a starly, level 4! I started to battle with him so he could learn quick attack and then get on par with turtwig. After he learned wing attack, however, I was battling solely with him.
So I arrive at jubilife city, talk to these assclowns, and then head north to maybe catch something good and get some experience. I battle a few trainers and run into a level 3 starly, which i just kill. Now my starly is level 10 and my turtwig 8. Now that i'm satisfied with my levels, I head out to battle DOUCHE (who the fuck names their child douche-oh wait ehehe). I tackle the starly with turtwig until i'm at like -3 from growl and doing jack shit to starly. I go to my own starly who takes down his and then 3hkos his chimchar. I go back and heal up (at this point i realize i'm healing too much and and imposing a 500 dollar fine per poke center visit). I forge onwards, catch a zubat, and then meet this (BAN ME PLEASE) who has one pokemon. Kricketot.
So kricketot uses bide turn one as i tackle. Tackle is looking like a solid 3hko. Not seeing the danger in this, i tackle again. Kricketot is storing energy.
Kricketot unleased stored energy. Turtwig fainted.
Fuck
So now I'm down a turtwig with Roark still left to face. I head into the grass ahead of me and see if i find a budew; no luck. So i press on into oreburgh gate, nabbing rock smash. I remember that i can maybe catch a machop if i'm lucky in a patch of grass after oreburgh. I head on down to the grass, and stare at the screen until i see i have a battle. Wild machop appears. FUCK YES. I'm too afraid of ohkoing it with my level 13 starly, so i just throw a poke ball. 3 shakes, and it's mine. I now have a shot at roark. I check its moves-low kick and leer. Low kick. fuck yes. I go to oreburgh mine to train it against geodudes, finding that low kick is a 3hko. I elevate myself five levels to level 10 and learn karate chop, another stroke of luck. I'm still not confident about my level, since I can't OHKO wild level 7 geodude with him, so i grind a bit more and get to roark. hi yea gym leader watch you smash rocks cool battle? So we go back to heal up, buying and tossing a potion and paralyze heal. I go to the gym and fight all of his grunts to be as STRONGTH as possible. I just use a potion because i am lazy. Next...
GYM LEADER BATTLE: ROARK
TYPE: ROCK
BADGE: 1
I karate chop twice for the ko on his geodude while he Mud sports. He then brings our Cranidos who leers as i karate chop for around eighty percent damage. Then he restores all of his health as i Karate Chop again for a critical hit OHKO. Then he sends out Onix who i'm pretty sure low kick will ohko. Onix outspeeds me and uses screech as i low kick, leaving him with a tiny sliver of health. He uses rock throw which, even at -3 defense, manages 9 of my hp and i low kick for the win.
TEAM:
Starly @ level 13
- tackle
- quick attack
- wing attack
- growl
Machop @ level 15
- low kick
- karate chop
- tackle
- foresight
Bidoof @ level 5
- tackle
THATS ALL FOR NOW BYE
Okay, so after i beat roark i headed back to jubilife and north to floaroma. Not much going on here, so I head east to the mysterious building. It's locked, so I decide to check out the patch of grass next to the building. I get a bidoof which, while not desirable, is going to prove extremely useful later on in the game when I acquire more HMs. I lknow I already have one, but it could definitely be useful in case something bad happens to my current bidoof. It's nice to stock up before times get dire.
I fight a couple trainers here, and my starly gets to level 14 and evolves!! cant wait to get to staraptor and brave bird/close combat!! Anyway, I go back to floaroma and head through the small opening in the trees north of the town. I go through the cut scene and easily defeat the rocket grunts with my staravia, who levels up to 16. I've decided to main staravia the rest of the way to eterna city, because it utterly destroys gardenia.
As soon as I leave the battle, starly starts evolving!!! Exciting, I'm definitely gonna enjoy the attack boost that comes with that. Anyway, I make a quick trip to the pokecenter to heal up before the inevitable team galactic fight. I head into the valley windworks, smash through a couple grunts and level up my machop, who i decided to use for a little to prepare for saturn(?)'s purugly. I vaguely remember her starting with skuntank, so pre-battle i switch my lead to staravia as to preserve machops's health. She ends up leading with skuntank, as i predicted, but it's starting to get ugly. First, it hits me with a night slash. Doesn't deal much damage, I wing attack for a hefty chunk. Next turn, i continue wing attacking, but fuck fuck fuck he uses poison gas...thank god it misses. third turn, i miss the ko with wing attack by a sliver of health and he uses poison gas. This time it hits. I'm just going to ko skuntank and get staravia out of here to conserve health. i wing attack for the fourth and last time, killing skuntank, but subjecting me to some more poison damage.
She sends out purugly, and there is definitely no way that i'm letting staravia take any more damage. If I do it'll die on the ride home. I decide to sacrifice bidoof, since i have another one that I just caught. Bidoof goes down, and I send out machop. Easy OHKO with low kick here, don't exactly remember what she used, but it's inconsequential. She leaves, and i carefully walk my way to the pokecenter. Staravia has about 3/5 of its health left, thanks to skuntank's night slash + 2 rounds of poison. By the time I get to the pokemon center, staravia is threatening to keel over at a meager 4 hp. glad that first poison gas missed! i heal up and head north to eterna city to face gardenia. i've decided to main staravia unless something weird pops up so that it will destroy her with no issues. I tag team with the girl, and I sure am glad since I get poisoned at least 5 times. I reach eterna without a hitch.
i walk around town a little bit, grab the dragon plate behind the palkia statue, and head to the pokemart to stock up on pokeballs. after this i see no use piddling around, so i head straight to the gym. staravia is already at level 20 from eterna forest + skuntank, so it makes light work of the lesser trainers. I heal up one more time before heading to gardenia.
GYM LEADER: GARDENIA
TYPE: GRASS
BADGE: 2
Easiest gym battle I have ever had. Staravia, level 22 by now, ohkos every single one of her pokemon with wing attack. I collect my badge, my grass knot tm, and my ability to use cut outside of battle, and head north to the rocket hideout!!
TEAM:
Staravia @ level 23
- wing attack
- quick attack
- endeavor
- growl
machop @ level 17 (ok i used him once in eterna)
- low kick
- seismic toss
- karate CHOP
- foresight
bidoof @ level 7
- tackle
- growl
- cut
- defense curl
I googled it and got Adlai Stevenson, a politician who ran for president three times and lost each time :/Surprised nobody's caught my obscure reference with Togepi's nickname yet :)
I googled it and got Adlai Stevenson, a politician who ran for president three times and lost each time :/