Alakazam (Calm Mind)

Bloo

Banned deucer.
Franky wrote this entire thing; I'm just passing it through grammar and whatnot.

Status:
Needs grammar checks.

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www.smogon.com/dp/pokemon/alakazam

QC found that the Sub + CM was not strong enough, but in my opinion, Substitute is actually a strong move in this set due to the amount of priority and pursuit flying around. However, the QC team found that a CM + 3 attacks is much better. Substitute now has its own paragraph in the AC section since I had a lot of experience with it. A lot of the material has already been written, but I added a lot of new wording.
__________________

[SET]
name: Calm Mind
move 1: Calm Mind
move 2: Psychic
move 3: Focus Blast
move 4: Shadow Ball / Signal Beam / Grass Knot
item: Life Orb
ability: Synchronize
nature: Timid
evs: 4 HP / 252 SpA / 252 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

<p>This set utilizes Calm Mind to blast Alakazam's already-high Special Attack stat through the roof. The best way to pull off a successful sweep with this set is to reveal it later in the match once every member of your opponent's team has been revealed. This way, Alakazam can avoid being easily trapped by the likes of Spiritomb. Psychic is essentially a given on this set since it provides STAB, while Focus Blast lets Alakazam deal heavy damage to the most prominent special walls in the tier: Chansey and Registeel. With a single Calm Mind boost, Focus Blast deals 83% - 97.8% to Registeel, while Chansey takes 56.8% - 67.1%. The final slot boils down to what Pokemon you need Alakazam to hit. Shadow Ball strikes Mismagius and Spiritomb for heavy damage, while Signal Beam can reliably finish off weakened Dark-types instead of relying on the inaccurate Focus Blast. In addition to this, Signal Beam and Shadow Ball allow Alakazam to hit bulky Psychic-types like Uxie and Slowking for super effective damage. Grass Knot can be used in the final slot if inflicting high damage on Milotic and Spiritomb is more important.</p>

[ADDITIONAL COMMENTS]

<p>Substitute is an option to protect Alakazam from priority moves and Pursuit. It can also guard Alakazam from status and critical hits that may interfere with Calm Mind. However, if you opt for Substitute, then Alakazam will have less coverage. For coverage, Signal Beam deals with Dark-types like Spiritomb, but leaves Alakazam completely helpless against Registeel, Steelix, and Chansey. Focus Blast is the inverse of the aforementioned problem: Alakazam is able to deal significant damage to Registeel and Steelix, but is essentially a sitting duck against Spiritomb.</p>

<p>Spikes support is absolutely necessary in order to make this set even more deadly. With two layers of Spikes down, Alakazam can secure the OHKO on Registeel and the 2HKO on Chansey with a boosted Focus Blast. Offensively, Cloyster fits the bill as a Spikes supporter thanks to its ability to threaten opposing Pokemon with Explosion and check Swellow with Ice Shard.</p>

<p>
Spiritomb will immediately present a problem to this set since it has the ability to lock down Alakazam with Pursuit, Shadow Sneak, or Sucker Punch. It is highly recommended that you remove Spiritomb from the match before attempting a sweep; as such, using Blaziken or Houndoom alongside Alakazam can be quite beneficial since they can easily switch into Dark- and Ghost-type attacks. As an added bonus, Houndoom will often lure in Chansey, and a boosted Fire Blast can take a sizable chunk of its precious HP. This ultimately gives Alakazam one less problem when it's attempting to sweep late-game.</p>
 
Looks good, but I'd mention Swellow in the little section where you talk about Cloyster being a good teammate since it destroys Swellow with Ice Shard and Swellow would otherwise stop Alakazam and spread Spikes / U-turn damage.
 
While it's not that big of a deal, you do use the phrase "as such" after every semicolon. Personally, I wouldn't use the phrase at all, but if you like it I'd suggest removing the first instance (where you say "Alakazam's attacking coverage; as such, depending on") because it breaks the sentence flow worse here than in the other sentence.

Also, "already-high" should just be "already high" and there are two things I'd like to call attention to in your first Additional Comment paragraph. Firstly, I would suggest changing the first "it" to "Alakazam" even if it's already implied for the simple fact that it ensures the reader that they are reading about Alakazam and not something else. Finally, you've used the wrong "its" when opening the second sentence; adding an apostrophe will make me much happier. =P
 
Some prose fixes and a few more subjective changes ...

<p>This set aims to boost Alakazam's[/COLOR] already-high Special Attack stat with Calm Mind. The best way to pull off a successful sweep with this set is to reveal it later in the match once every member of your opponent's team is revealed. This way, you can avoid being easily trapped by the likes of Spiritomb. Psychic is essentially a given on this set since it provides STAB, while Focus Blast provides Alakazam with a powerful move to deal heavy damage to the most prominent special walls in the tier - Chansey and Registeel. With a single Calm Mind boost, Focus Blast comes dead close to scoring a OHKO on Registeel as it deals 83% - 97.8%, while Chansey takes 56.8% - 67.1% from a boosted Focus Blast. The final slot boils down to what Pokemon you decide to hit. Shadow Ball strikes Mismagius and Spiritomb for heavy damage, while Signal Beam can reliably finish off weakened Dark-types instead of relying on the inaccurate Focus Blast as well as hit Psychics like Uxie for heavy damage. Grass Knot could be incorporated in the final slot if inflicting high damage on Milotic and Spiritomb is more important.</p>

[ADDITIONAL COMMENTS]

<p>As mentioned in the previous sets, Substitute protects it from priority hits and Pursuit users. If setting up Calm Minds proves to be too difficult, Substitute can be a viable alternative. Its important to note that this will somewhat limit Alakazam's attacking coverage; as such, depending on what move you select, Alakazam will always have trouble with a different group of Pokemon. Signal Beam will deal with Dark-types like Spiritomb, but this will leave Alakazam completely helpless against Registeel, Steelix, Chansey, and even Aggron to a lesser extent Aggron is 2HKO'ed by unboosted Psychic - I don't think it matters THAT much. With Focus Blast the inverse happens: Alakazam is able to deal significant damage to Registeel, Steelix, and Aggron, but it is essentially a sitting duck against Spiritomb.</p>

<p>Spikes support is absolutely necessary in order to make this set even more deadly. With two layers of Spikes down, Alakazam can OHKO Registeel and 2HKO on Chansey with a boosted Focus Blast. Offensively, Cloyster fits the bill as Spikes supporter thanks to its ability to threaten Pokemon with Explosion.</p>

<p>
Spiritomb will immediately present a problem to this set since it has the ability to lock down Alakazam with Pursuit, Shadow Sneak, or Sucker Punch. It is highly recommended that you remove Spiritomb before pulling a sweep; as such, using Blaziken or Houndoom alongside Alakazam can be quite beneficial since they can freely switch into Dark- and Ghost-type attacks. As an added bonus, Houndoom will often lure in Chansey and a boosted Fire Blast can take a sizable chunk of its precious HP. This ultimately gives Alakazam one less problem when it is attempting to sweep late-game.</p>
 
Grammar

<p>As mentioned in the previous sets, Substitute protects it from priority hits and Pursuit users. If setting up Calm Minds proves to be too difficult, Substitute can make a viable alternative. It's important to note that this will somewhat limit Alakazam's attacking coverage; as such, depending on what move you select Alakazam will always have trouble with a different group of Pokemon. Signal Beam will deal with Dark-types like Spiritomb, but this will leave Alakazam completely helpless against Registeel, Steelix, Chansey, and even Aggron to a lesser extent. Focus Blast is the inverse of the aforementioned problem: Alakazam is able to deal significant damage to Registeel, Steelix, and Aggron, but it is essentially a sitting duck against Spiritomb.</p>

And prose stuff (plus one grammar)

<p>Spiritomb will immediately present a problem to this set since it has the ability to stop Alakazam's sweep with Pursuit, Shadow Sneak, or Sucker Punch. It is highly recommended that you remove Spiritomb before attempting a sweep; as such, using Blaziken or Houndoom alongside Alakazam can be quite beneficial since they can freely switch into Dark- and Ghost-type attacks. As an added bonus, Houndoom will often lure in Chansey and a boosted Fire Blast can take a sizable chunk of her precious HP. This ultimately gives Alakazam one less problem when it is attempting to sweep late-game.</p>
 
A proofread to help clear the backlog, some of these changes are subjective:
[SET]
name: Calm Mind
move 1: Calm Mind
move 2: Psychic
move 3: Focus Blast
move 4: Shadow Ball / Signal Beam / Grass Knot
item: Life Orb
ability: Synchronize
nature: Timid
evs: 4 HP / 252 SpA / 252 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

<p>This set aims to boost Alakazam's already high Special Attack stat with Calm Mind. The best way to pull off a successful sweep with this set is to reveal it later in the match once every member of your opponent's team is revealed. This way, you can avoid being easily trapped by the likes of Spiritomb. Psychic is essentially a given on this set since it provides STAB, while Focus Blast provides Alakazam with a powerful move to deal heavy damage to the most prominent special walls in the tier - Chansey and Registeel. With a single Calm Mind boost, Focus Blast comes dead close to scoring a OHKO on Registeel, dealing as it deals 83% - 97.8%, while Chansey takes 56.8% - 67.1% from a boosted Focus Blast. The final slot boils down to what Pokemon you need decide to hit. Shadow Ball strikes Mismagius and Spiritomb for heavy damage, while Signal Beam can reliably finish off weakened Dark-types instead of relying on the inaccurate Focus Blast. In addition to this, Signal Beam and Shadow Ball allows Alakazam hit bulky Psychic-types like Uxie and Slowking for super effective damage. Grass Knot could be incorporated can be used in the final slot if inflicting high damage on Milotic and Spiritomb is more important.</p>

[ADDITIONAL COMMENTS]

<p>As mentioned in the previous sets, Substitute protects Alakazam from priority hits attacks and Pursuit users. If setting up Calm Minds proves to be too difficult, Substitute can be a viable alternative. (The name of this set it Calm Mind, so I don't think removing that should be suggested)It's important to note that this will somewhat limit Alakazam's attacking coverage. Depending on what move you select in the final slot (right?), Alakazam will always have trouble with a different group of Pokemon. Signal Beam will deal with Dark-types like Spiritomb, but this will leave Alakazam completely helpless against Registeel, Steelix, and Chansey. Focus Blast is the inverse of the aforementioned problem: Alakazam is able to deal significant damage to Registeel and Steelix, but it is essentially a sitting duck against Spiritomb.</p>

<p>Spikes support is absolutely necessary in order can be used to make this set even more deadly. With two layers of Spikes down, Alakazam can secure the OHKO on Registeel, and the 2HKO on Chansey with a boosted Focus Blast. Offensively, Cloyster fits the bill as Spikes supporter thanks to its ability to threaten Pokemon with Explosion and check Swellow with Ice Shard.</p>

<p>Spiritomb will immediately present a problem to this set since it has the ability to lock down Alakazam with Pursuit, Shadow Sneak, or Sucker Punch. It is highly recommended that you attempt remove Spiritomb before pulling a sweep; as such, using Blaziken or Houndoom alongside Alakazam can be quite beneficial since they can freely switch into Dark- and Ghost-type attacks. As an added bonus, Houndoom will often lure in Chansey, and a boosted Fire Blast can take a sizable chunk of her precious HP. This ultimately gives Alakazam one less problem when it's is attempting to sweep late-game.</p>
 
I'm taking over this analysis for franky since he's busy nowadays. This has been QCed already, but if there are any other comments that need to be made, please post saying so. I've implemented most of firecape's grammar changes since they weren't previously edited into the OP, but I'd appreciate it if someone could give this a few more grammar checks. Thanks!
 
GP CHECK 1/2

pink is grammar edits
blue is prose edits

[SET]
name: Calm Mind
move 1: Calm Mind
move 2: Psychic
move 3: Focus Blast
move 4: Shadow Ball / Signal Beam / Grass Knot
item: Life Orb
ability: Synchronize
nature: Timid
evs: 4 HP / 252 SpA / 252 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

<p>This set aims to boost Alakazam's already high Special Attack stat with Calm Mind. The best way to pull off a successful sweep with this set is to reveal it later in the match once every member of your opponent's team has been revealed. This way, you can avoid being easily trapped by the likes of Spiritomb. Psychic is essentially a given on this set since it provides STAB, while Focus Blast provides Alakazam with a powerful move to deal heavy damage to the most prominent special walls in the tier: Chansey and Registeel. With a single Calm Mind boost, Focus Blast comes close to OHKOing Registeel, dealing 83% - 97.8%, while Chansey takes 56.8% - 67.1%. The final slot boils down to what Pokemon you need to hit. Shadow Ball strikes Mismagius and Spiritomb for heavy damage, while Signal Beam can reliably finish off weakened Dark-types instead of relying on the inaccurate Focus Blast. In addition to this, Signal Beam and Shadow Ball allow Alakazam hit bulky Psychic-types like Uxie and Slowking for super effective damage. Grass Knot can be used in the final slot if inflicting high damage on Milotic and Spiritomb is more important to you.</p>

[ADDITIONAL COMMENTS]

<p>As mentioned in the previous sets, Substitute protects Alakazam from priority moves and Pursuit. Depending on what move you select in the final slot, Alakazam will always have trouble with a different group of Pokemon. Signal Beam will deal with Dark-types like Spiritomb, but leaves Alakazam completely helpless against Registeel, Steelix, and Chansey. Focus Blast is the inverse of the aforementioned problem: Alakazam is able to deal significant damage to Registeel and Steelix, but is essentially a sitting duck against Spiritomb.</p>

<p>Spikes support is absolutely necessary in order to make this set even more deadly. With two layers of Spikes down, Alakazam can secure the OHKO on Registeel and the 2HKO on Chansey with a boosted Focus Blast. Offensively, Cloyster fits the bill as a Spikes supporter thanks to its ability to threaten opposing Pokemon with Explosion and check Swellow with Ice Shard.</p>

<p>
Spiritomb will immediately present a problem to this set since it has the ability to lock down Alakazam with Pursuit, Shadow Sneak, or Sucker Punch. It is highly recommended that you remove Spiritomb from the match before attempting a sweep; as such, using Blaziken or Houndoom alongside Alakazam can be quite beneficial since they can freely switch into Dark- and Ghost-type attacks. As an added bonus, Houndoom will often lure in Chansey, and a boosted Fire Blast can take a sizable chunk of her precious HP. This ultimately gives Alakazam one less problem when it's attempting to sweep late-game.</p>

nice job, bloo (and welcome to C&C!) ^_^

gp2.png
 
i recommend mentioning using a modest nature. I've used that to great sucess. Registeel is practically guaranteed to be OHKOd, and chansey can only really switch into CM or it gets killed off by psychic and focus blast with some residual damage. You still outspeed mismagius, manctric and scyther, who can all be killed with a modest nature.
 
No, you tie with the three of them (base 105 Pokemon), which is one of the main reasons why Alakazam runs Timid over Modest.
 
GP Check 2/2:
additions/changes/comments in blue
removals in red

[SET]
name: Calm Mind
move 1: Calm Mind
move 2: Psychic
move 3: Focus Blast
move 4: Shadow Ball / Signal Beam / Grass Knot
item: Life Orb
ability: Synchronize
nature: Timid
evs: 4 HP / 252 SpA / 252 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

<p>This set aims utilizes Calm Mind to boost blast Alakazam's
already-high Special Attack stat with Calm Mind through the roof. The best way to pull off a successful sweep with this set is to reveal it later in the match once every member of your opponent's team has been revealed. This way, you Alakazam can avoid being easily trapped by the likes of Spiritomb. Psychic is essentially a given on this set since it provides STAB, while Focus Blast provides lets Alakazam with a powerful move to deal heavy damage to the most prominent special walls in the tier: Chansey and Registeel. With a single Calm Mind boost, Focus Blast comes close to OHKOing deals 83% - 97.8% to Registeel, dealing 83% - 97.8%, while Chansey takes 56.8% - 67.1%. The final slot boils down to what Pokemon you need Alakazam to hit. Shadow Ball strikes Mismagius and Spiritomb for heavy damage, while Signal Beam can reliably finish off weakened Dark-types instead of relying on the inaccurate Focus Blast. In addition to this, Signal Beam and Shadow Ball allow Alakazam to hit bulky Psychic-types like Uxie and Slowking for super effective damage. Grass Knot can be used in the final slot if inflicting high damage on Milotic and Spiritomb is more important.</p>

[ADDITIONAL COMMENTS]

<p>As mentioned in the previous sets, Substitute is an option to protect Alakazam from priority moves and Pursuit. It can also guard Alakazam from status and critical hits that may interfere with Calm Mind. However, if you opt for Substitute, then Alakazam will have less coverage. Depending on what move you select in the final slot, Alakazam will always have trouble with a different group of Pokemon. For coverage, Signal Beam will deals with Dark-types like Spiritomb, but leaves Alakazam completely helpless against Registeel, Steelix, and Chansey. Focus Blast is the inverse of the aforementioned problem: Alakazam is able to deal significant damage to Registeel and Steelix, but is essentially a sitting duck against Spiritomb.</p>

<p>Spikes support is absolutely necessary in order to make this set even more deadly. With two layers of Spikes down, Alakazam can secure the OHKO on Registeel and the 2HKO on Chansey with a boosted Focus Blast. Offensively, Cloyster fits the bill as a Spikes supporter thanks to its ability to threaten opposing Pokemon with Explosion and check Swellow with Ice Shard.</p>

<p>
Spiritomb will immediately present a problem to this set since it has the ability to lock down Alakazam with Pursuit, Shadow Sneak, or Sucker Punch. It is highly recommended that you remove Spiritomb from the match before attempting a sweep; as such, using Blaziken or Houndoom alongside Alakazam can be quite beneficial since they can freely easily switch into Dark- and Ghost-type attacks. As an added bonus, Houndoom will often lure in Chansey, and a boosted Fire Blast can take a sizable chunk of her its precious HP. This ultimately gives Alakazam one less problem when it's attempting to sweep late-game.</p>

Prose nitpicks mainly; nice job!
gp2.png
 
huh, i was sure that with a 15 base speed advantage a neutral 120 could outrun a positive 105. I know jolteon cant outrun starmie this way, but i only thought that was 115s onwards. My mistake
 
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