Anyone else ever feel like a complete failure at life

[Miscellaneous]

I think sometimes human perception has a big effect on these things.

It is human nature to normally forget the good days or the good moments or those little things you did to make someone smile. Admitidly, you may remember some really good events, but mostly what we remember is the bad days, those awful things we've done. And this just gets more and more pronounced as we get older.

Everyone has bad days and bad moments, but in most cases actually most of what you do is awesome, you'll just forget a lot of it. That's an unfortunate perk of humans.

What's important is to remember you've done good things and occasionally look in the mirror and say "You're amazing". Because without self confidence and praise you could struggle in life. Yes sometimes you might fail an exam, but you've passed loads more. Yes you might hurt a girl or w/e, but she's upset because you made her happy once.

tl;dr: "optimism" or "glass is completely full of air"

What I look forward to is when finals are done, and I can be occupied by work over the summer. Funny, humans get happier when they work.

yea watch out for this stuff too. A lot of things go round in circles. sometimes it's good like ^ "Work-happy-easier to work-more happy" etc and "train-get fit-feel good about training-train some more" etc.

But bad circles can really knock you, "don't work-fail exams-get rejected-depressed-work less-lose friends-feel even more depressed". This can happen fast, it's like dominos. If you can get into good routines and stay happy, that will improve other parts of your life as well.

 

[Roz]

I totally understand you, OP. When I was in high school, my "friends" would never invite me to their parties and stuff like that, and they were always saying it was my fault for not being nice enough to them. Made me feel really bad, and I totally lost any self-esteem I could've had at that time. They said I was always embarrassing them, and when we had to do a homework and it would go wrong, it was my fault ofc. Things got better since I got into college. I met new people and made new friends. I've also been taking piano lessons, and seriously this probably has been the best thing I've ever done. My teacher keeps encouraging me, and I've played in some concert too. I think you should do an activity, whether it's sport or music or something else, just because it will make you feel proud about yourself. You'll be able to say that you accomplished something, and people around you are probably going to compliment you on that thing too. It'll help you with your self-esteem too, which is not a bad thing.

 

[Crisis]

If it's any consolation. mtr, it's probably for the best. You should pursue whatever career you want too follow. Plus, a doctor who isn't really interested in his work is potentially hazardous. ;)

Normally I would tell you to fuck what your parents think, as they don't know what's best, whether they have a degree in medicine themselves or not. However, they're in control of your tuition fees, so you're at least going to have to win them over to your point of view.

If it's any consolation, I didn't know what I was doing with my life at that point (and I'm still not sure, really). Don't rule out the option of taking a gap year to clear your head (if your parents will allow it of course).

-----

I tend to not get depressed very easily. The worst time was when I found out I lost my university offer by 1 grade (sort of similar to mtr's situation I guess) but I took a gap year, got over it, and talked them into letting me in anyway. Those were 3 ballsy decisions right there, but it worked out better than I could have imagined.

 

[Arch]

I'm not sure if it's good or bad, but to an extent I guess I've accepted being miserable. Mmmm, I suppose, I know I'm depressed, but I kind of just don't care about it anymore. Does that sound wierd? I'm not completely sure either. I generally accept the fact I have 1 ok day in a month of bad days, and live with it. Mediocre life is fine for me now I guess.....

 

[Roz]

^I got used to that to. I know what you mean by "it's weird", 'cause it is, but it's more of a bad thing. One day I just got pissed about that, and decided to do my best change my life. It's kinda hard at first, but it's really worth it. Maybe you should give it a try.

 

[rbygsc kid 251]

I don't really see myself as a mess up because I'm not trying to impress anybody. I don't care who, my parents, my friends, girls that I like, ultimately, I am always trying to be myself, and if they like me, cool beans, if not, well that's cool too.

 

[capefeather]

It really sucks when stuff like this causes huge hits to your GPA :(

 

[mtr]

Ouch mtr. On the positive side, most scholarships have a probation period, too, no?

Surprisingly enough, my parents took it relatively well: as in, they haven't hired hitmen to kill me when I go to my part-time job in a lab.

I hope to transfer to a local state university where I can find more success.

 

[anti404]

this is a recurring problem in my life, honestly. for the past six years or so, I've suffered from varying degrees of depression(as has my sister, interestingly enough...)
it affected me a lot my first year in high school, causing me to have a sub 3.0 GPA for the only time in my academic career; this resulted from not really having any friends and having seemingly no purpose in life and what have you(as well as dealing a TERRIBLE childhood, in the abusive drunken neglect way). for the next three years I lost quite a bit of weight and somehow had a bunch of friends. but, halfway through my senior year I realized just how much I hated all but a VERY select few of my friends, and how much I hated my family, and how my interests didn't match those of seemingly any other person, etc. during this time period I went through the whole "hey let me grab a scalpel from my AP Bio class and slice up my arms a bunch" phase, and isolated myself a lot, brooding silently and hating all things. then I got the news that I may have have Hodgkin Lymphoma and decided that I actually needed to live life, and I did. I made a few seemingly awesome friends around graduation time, who had similar interests/values to mine, I bought a road bike and found that to be an enjoyable escape, and all was well.
for some time at least. and then I went to college. all my friends were back in a college closer to the old town, I rode my bike for some time but winter came and I couldn't do that, etc, and so into depression I sunk again. then I got a girlfriend and started coming back home more and things got somewhat better, and then I transferred to the previously mentioned closer university(Ball State University), roomed with my once best-friend, and all was well.
but then as second semester of my sophomore year in college came up, I started hating everything again. I realized that my once best friend and I had been distanced once I went to college, and that we were no longer that close. I stopped getting invited to go hang out with my friends over the weekend. my girlfriend is still in the picture, but I don't care, honestly. I gained some weight, as my ankle and back problems became exacerbated and I had to stop riding my road bike. I basically felt all alone. and that is basically how I've been feeling since about January.
honestly the only thing keeping me together anymore is that I've been somewhat able to ride my bike and the fact that I actually have found somewhat of a calling, in Ecology and Wildlife Biology(I've got a 3.965GPA through four semesters of college :D). I've also become interested in competitive Pokemon battling, giving me something to take my mind off the other things.

so sorry about that, but I felt the need to show you what I've been dealing with so that I can give you this bit of advice: try to find something you absolutely love. biology/road biking are my things. sports or video games are some people's passions. just whatever makes you happy and content, for long periods of time. this happiness, at least for me lately, has overridden my lack of friends(my girlfriend describes me as a hermit ._______________.) and whatnot. and I know that these things are long lasting, and they give me things to look forward to dealing with on a daily basis(yes, I read my biology textbook, lecture notes, etc. over the summer; lame, I know).

too long; didn't read? - find SOMETHING that you love, and slowly but surely you will start to stray away from your depressive state; trust me on this.

 

[SynysterCola]

For the longest of time, I use to blame myself for anything that went wrong around me. This was in part due to parents always fighting and in part because I was the kid everyone would pick on back in grade school. I could never think of anything I was proud of.

But then back in 2009, I took a step back and really looked over my life. I realized that most of the things that went wrong were out of my control. I realized I had a lot more achievements than I gave myself credit for.

I also had a change of scenery. Different friends, different place of living (on campus vs off campus) and I would say it's given me a new positive outlook on life.

I agree with anti404: do something you love. It REALLY takes the depression away.