fears about growing up?

[Alan]

Well, I'm sure many people are aware that smogonites range in age from the prepubescent to the fully grown. It seems many of us are attending university or our later years of high school (school before university for anyone who doesn't use that term). This means that we will very soon be going out into the cold, adult world without a sweater. It seems almost natural that people would have worries and/or concerns about moving out on there own.

So, what better way to get a topic started than making the first point.

I am an 18 year old (19 in June \o/) student who is going to the University of Central Florida. I will be a Sophomore next year and I've lately been doing some self-reflection about my life and its finally (probably a bit late) starting to hit that I will be out on my own very soon. Its a bit unnerving to be honest. I don't mean to sound naive but I'm pretty scared about being on my own. I really wish I could just be a second semester senior for my entire life (I know that won't happen but it'd be nice). I start to think about everything I have to do, get a job, pay rent, buy food, go to class, do my schoolwork, etc etc it becomes pretty overwhelming. I also realise that ~20% of my life is gone and it goes by pretty fucking fast. It just seems a bit overwhelming sometimes. Am I the only one who feels this way?

 

[alamaster]

It can be stressful while you're thinking of it before it happens, but once it does that usually changes. I lived on my own for a year and am going back out in September of this year and I can't wait now that I know what to expect. As long as you have a solid way to handle the money issues (part-time job would do it, or student loans) you won't really have many problems. Sure, you'll miss living with your parents and if you're heading out someplace far away you'll miss all of your friends as well.

Just keep a positive attitude that everything will work out. You'll meet great friends, have a ton of fun and hopefully no money troubles. Big change in general is a stressful situation for many many people, it is completely natural to feel that way. Once you get used to it you will end up loving it.

 

[Ramblin Wreck]

I'm definitely having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that holy shit, I am halfway through college! I am two (or two-and-a-half) years away from the working world. The fact that I still play Pokémon doesn't help me get used to this any more.

This sums up my feelings exactly. How can I be this close to adulthood, with a job and a house of my own, when I still do such juvenile things? When the time comes, I'll accept it like I do anything else that changes, but until then it's tough to think about.

I guess what will help me is getting more into my major and concentration; once I know what interests me the most (management, concentrating in information systems), I'll have a better starting point for making career plans. Until then, I'm just stumbling ahead, really.

 

[BuddyBlueBomber]

One great thing to have is a general goal of where you want to end up in life. From there, you can take it step by step as you reach further towards that goal, taking the necessary research and preparation needed to succeed. I would also recommend talking to your parents, as they can show you many things that you will eventually have to do once you go out into the concrete jungle that is the real world. Remember, parents are there to help you through life and new experiences at this point of time; the days of discipline should be done and gone at your age.

 

[Shinxe]

I'll be a junior in art school this coming year (let's not get started about the implications of having to be an 'adult' when we're discussing the illustration industry) and I've just got my first apartment this summer. It'll be my first time out of the dorm-- I'm also traveling to Italy on my own this summer, as well as organizing other trips to conventions, etc, without guidance.

The trick to not being overwhelmed (and yeah it IS scary) is to do it bit by bit. I personally don't find it shameful when my parents help me out, let me stay home and chill, etc. Parents' house is a good waystation, IMO. Anyway, start a routine-- go to the grocery store, plan your meals for the week. Cook them. Don't let it be ramen all the time, don't rely on the school cafeteria. Make a point to run errands so that you have to use the bus, or train, or subway.

I've found it's stabilizing to have friends who live on their own or with responsible, ADULT roommates. Not college kids clinging together in an apartment, but adults with jobs or grad school (I am now living with a woman in law school, a teacher, a computer tech, and another woman in public health)-- you'll pick up on their attitudes and routines.

SO MANY WORDS anyway just remember that college is the time to pretty much 'play house' as far as practice for the real world goes. If you have supportive parents, don't let them coddle you, but allow them to help you with certain decisions and costs. That kind of thing. blah blah HAVE FUN

 

[Very]

I had a personal story here but I got rid of it.
Just use whatever connections you can to move up the ranks and get a good job. I think how things work is that you have fun outside of school/work when you're younger, and then fun at your job when you're older and stay at home more. Then you have kids and it switches again.
I'm 22 and haven't started working in my career yet but work hard during the summers and don't forget who your friends are.

 

[Trax]

Don't panic.

It's going to happen whether you worry or not, so just stay calm -- it will work in your favor.

 

[alexix]

Yeah, this affects me a lot. When my dad was my age he had me. (Well, my mom had me but he put me in her so he's partly responsible.) It seems so weird that he had a kid and a job and actually took care of me and stuff and bought a house and married my mom, even when he was that young, and here I am laying in bed all bed posting on forums about fucking Pokémon.

I've been out on my own for like a year now but I have no clue what I'm doing. I don't have a family anymore so if I get kicked out or if something goes wrong I'm totally fucked. That's really scary. So, if you still have a family or some close friends you shouldn't really be that scared because as gay as it sounds they're a phone call away and they'll always bail you out if you need it. I don't have that so honestly all I do all day is play Pokémon and focus on buillding teams and shit so I don't have to deal with the fact that I'm screwed over. That's really immature but I don't care.

I take part time college courses but God knows why I'm doing that, I have no plans or anything. I see alcoholics out in the streets and they're like 20-60 year old pissheads who do fuck all day but drink and piss. I was homeless once but at least I sorted myself out. As fucked as I am at least I'm not that, yano?

 

[BigPDaMonsta]

As much as I like to over think the situation and worry myself about it, I am pretty sure that I am not very worried about the future or doing shit on my own. I am halfway through getting a professional theatre degree; basically I have already had to accept that while pursuing my dream career, I will mostly likely still need a waiting or serving job or shit like that on the side to support myself. Theatre is a pretty undependable and flaky living, jumping from audition to audition hoping to get jobs, dealing with rejection most of the time, sometimes not getting a part for long periods of time.
This should be scary, but I love to act so I am sure that if I do not lose that love I will manage and figure my shit out. Who knows, maybe I will get some lucky breaks and become "well-known" enough to have a stable income through theatre..... But regardless of who you are and what you're doing the transition into adult life should be more exciting than it is scary, or you obviously aren't doing something exciting enough with your life!

 

[cantab]

Learn to cook. That's important, being able to make yousefl some decent food. Ready meals are never big enough, so it helps to be able to cook from scratch.

 

[AccidentalGreed]

Posted because....well...

Growing up comes naturally to you. You just brush it off as you go by, like how hard homework is. You get used to challenges. And growing up as well.

 

[Ramblin Wreck]

Posted because....well... that comic needs to be cancelled out.

Just because you're growing up doesn't mean you have to stop enjoying things you enjoyed as a child.

 

[Gompers]

Ramblin' Wreck, you're right about that...but there also comes a time to put away childish things. Even stuff like Pokemon, which I still really enjoy. :) More important things will take its place.

 

[Luminary]

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." ~C. S. Lewis

"Growing up" is something I've spent a lot of time thinking about. I'm still a year away from finishing school, but I feel like life's catching up with me. Living in the basement is no longer my idea of optimal independence. I'm thinking about cars, jobs, universities, and apartments. But... how much of this do I really need to stress myself out about? I'm perfectly comfortable taking the bus, and I have great living arrangements with my family. Universities and apartments will come when they need to come. For now, I should be content to have fun and work hard. These are the days of our lives, right?

 

[Pokeguymon]

This topic and those comics sent a tingling sensation down my spine (AccidentalGreed, yours made me a little teary...thank you Ramblin Wreck for your counteract lol), or maybe I'm just still a little high! Anyway, growing up sucks in most sense of the word. Alan, I hope you got all your urges for doing stupid shit out of the way before you hit 18 (or whatever age your country labels you as an adult)! The world is exponentially kinder to you when you're a minor and you can get literally away with anything. I'm 19 and turning 20 in July, but, honestly, everyday I wish I could be 16 again

 

[Steeler]

as long as you are responsible and do what you need to do to be functional in society...i mean, it does seem like a lot to be able to live on your own and junk but you've been preparing for it your whole life. really.

 

[Fishy]

I've been stressing about growing up very recently, but not because I feel like I'm not prepared to do so, but because I feel like it won't be as easy as I'd like it to be, simply because of my father like, not being ready for me to do so? I don't know. I just got a job, my first full-time job actually, working with people with physical/mental handicaps. Basically, my job will be to spend time with them at their own homes, somewhat managing and advising their every-day lives. The idea is to make sure they still maintain as much independence as they want, but acting like their little conscience while still simultaneously just making their lives as enjoyable as possible. :) I'm really looking forward to it! (and starting out $8.12 an hour with 40 hour weeks, hollerrrr)

Anyway, I mention the bit about my father because I feel like, as many times as he's told me to get a job and start acting independent and "feeling like an adult," he still doesn't treat me like one. That may just be him being overprotective, and me being whiny, but I don't know. I'm super pumped about going to the Indianapolis VGC, and I know that even traveling down there a few hours is going to be a fight with him or something. And he's even said before "You can go out and make all your stupid mistakes when you're living on your own," but it's not as if situations would be any different around me if I'm leaving from my own apartment than if I'm leaving from my father's house. It's just frustrating. I also plan to go to the UK this summer, and while I am adamant about doing that, the idea of bringing that up with my father is enough to stress me sick. Blah. It sucks. I would love to move out at this point, just so I can go out and "make all my dumb mistakes." And I always feel like if I weren't his only daughter that I wouldn't have even a quarter of the issues I do with him about my going out, being out late, hanging out with other guys, jesus, I hate how any mentioning of a male name is like "SO WHO IS THIS BOY, HUH, WHAT'S HIS ASL" and blaaaaaaaaah.

 

[SmoothLake]

Interesting pictures...

Yep, when we grow up, we have to face lots of things under pressure.. and we must learn to be strong enough to survive through..

and I miss my happy time in childhood in the past few days, coz the Children's Day was a few days ago.. and now it's not my day... SIGH..

Anyway, we cannot stop growing up... just let it be... and I believe everything will be all right later.

 

[The Guns of Navarone]

I sorely miss my younger days due to the lack of homework, financial issues, and just plain uneasiness of going to college. I hope that I can resolve my fears in time.

 

[Scimjara]

Only fear I have is where my pathetic grades and horrible anger problems are going to take me.

 

[Cobalte]

I'm worried about what I'm supposed to do after school to. I have no idea what I want in life, and yet I'll be finishing high school next year. Bit scary.

 

[Firestorm]

I'm worried about what I'm supposed to do after school to. I have no idea what I want in life, and yet I'll be finishing high school next year. Bit scary.

You have plenty of time. Few people in your situation know what they want to do.

 

[Cobalte]

You have plenty of time. Few people in your situation know what they want to do.

Yeah... most likely. Schools don't help though, they pressure you a bit about knowing what you want to do.

 

[marche111]

i honestly think that you guys think too much.

see what a cluttered mind can do.

 

[bleed4m3]

I'm actually very excited to start becoming independent. You see, I don't get along very well with my family. Add onto that the fact that I am the youngest of four. What that means is that my parents are eager to get me out of the house, and actually means that they take extended vacations without me (they're actually in Germany without me right now). Because of that I've had to learn how to cook, clean, do laundry, do dishes, etc.

So really, I'm not scared. I'm rather excited. I might be an oddity, though.