Before I read the latest posts, I'm just going to respond to skorpion123 whatever: I am 19, and a girl, yes. And YES, of course I've heard of friends with benefits, I just still can't relate to ever actually wanting to do it. And of course I understand that some people are perfectly okay with just being friends with someone to have sex with and be affectionate with, I don't know, it's just that PERSONALLY, I could never do something like that. It's all or nothing for me, every time.
edit: MagicMaster87, that's quite a tale. I realize I haven't even really shared an extensive relationship past, but yours is very interesting. I'm also curious about your hair now, if you actually have fan girls for it!
My past relationships have basically consisted of 3 different boys, them being Jordan, Dominic, and Daniel, my current boyfriend. I lost my virginity to Jordan, circa like 2006 I believe? I was in my sophomore year at high school, and I'm pretty sure he was waiting to even suggest sex as soon as I had turned 16, aha, which I guess is responsible of him. I feel naive for saying this, but basically with every boyfriend I've had, we've talked fleetingly about marriage, and Jordan was no exception, even though he was my first boyfriend. At the beginning, I was completely infatuated with him, and eventually found myself to what I thought was love. We spent nearly every day with one another, he'd pick me up for school and I would either go to his house afterward for the day, or just until he had to drop me off back at home before he went to work. For about 6 months, I loved it. Then after that time marker, I started to get bored.
Although I had loved it so much in the beginning, we almost literally did the same thing every day we spent with one another. And unfortunately, even sex was turned robotic and boring. We'd come home from school, likely fuck, and then if he wasn't going to work we would just lay in bed in his room watching TV all day, during which time he'd try to goad me into fucking some more. Honestly I usually just let him do it, as I had to just lay there, and I continued watching TV. Jordan was also the one who first suggested that I get on birth control, since he "hated using condoms." He was really selfish in retrospect, especially after he told me we'd be breaking up at the end of the year REGARDLESS, since he was graduating and moving way to college, and informed me that "we wouldn't work out in a long distance relationship." He only told me this about a month before the school year would end, so I was feeling pretty fidgety and upset. This led me to eventually make-out with my neighbor, more out of spite for my boyfriend than actually being attracted to the neighbor, although he was attracted to me. Even though I was so mad at Jordan, the next day when I saw him, I felt probably the worst I've ever felt in a relationship, and all I had done was kissed another guy. (Which is why, I've mentioned before somewhere, I can't stand how people can actually "cheat" and have sex with other people whilst in a relationship). I was too afraid to even tell Jordan, and this was made worse coupled with the fact that we even sat together with my neighbor at lunch, haha.
So I'd say that Jordan indeed eventually broke up with me, but it wasn't as bad as I had imagined. I was still sad, but like within 2 weeks of him breaking up with me, he started to have "jam sessions" with a boy named Dominic, and since I was basically Jordan's lapdog, I would always go along with him to these sessions at Dominic's house. I laugh at myself now, thinking of my behavior, but I immediately found Dominic very attractive, and very adorable. He had very large, curly hair, and that was enough to entrance me before I actually talked to the guy and got to know him. Basically the jam sessions would go like this: We'd either be in Dominic's old room, which was just a very trashed room used for his drums and other junk, or I think we eventually moved into the basement since his mother forced him to clean the room. Either way, whenever I was at these jam sessions, I would just sit on the floor out of everyone's way, and constantly just glance at Dominic. I caught his eye multiple times, and tried letting him catch my smile as well, and I feel stupid doing this since I never even once glanced at Jordan, my still-boyfriend, haha. I wonder if he noticed that. Anyway, this was especially bad on my part, since Dominic had a girlfriend! But I was pretty ruthless in wanting to feel really wanted and loved again, so my "advances" on Dominic were very subtle, but relentless. They weren't even advances quite yet, I just wanted to give him attention, and make sure he noticed it. Which I succeeded in doing.
So one day Jordan and I are at Dominic's house, in his basement with Dominic and his brother, watching "Desperate Living," a popular John Water's movie. Jordan eventually said "Oh man, I'm tired, let's leave," something he ALWAYS did when he was bored and didn't want to be somewhere anymore, and I knew this, so I was sort of angry because I wanted to stay and hang out with Dominic (and I wanted to finish the movie I'd never seen!) so as Jordan is upstairs and getting his shit together, I'm there too, and I say "I think I'm going to stay here." And he's very surprised, mad even. He says "What? But I'm leaving. How are you going to get home?" And I just said that I'd have my dad pick me up or something, but I was very adamant in letting him know that I did not plan on leaving, and I was fine with him leaving without me. He left in a huff, and I went downstairs, and Dominic sort of looked at me surprised: "Where's Jordan? I thought you guys were leaving?" and, "Yeah, he left, but I wanted to stay." He was still a little surprised, but thought nothing of it, I guess. We then started watching "Monster," and not 2 minutes into the movie Jordan texts me, says he's coming back to pick me up, and that we need to talk. So I'm annoyed, unaware that this would actually be the conversation in which he'd finally break up with me. We talked as he was taking me home to my father's, also another sign before we even started talking that it was over between us I guess. He said things like "We both know that this wouldn't work out long distance, and I think this is better, we can still be friends, etc," and I just nodded and assented, I always clam up in situations like these (or at least I did three years ago) simply because if I were to speak, I would probably cry. Any overwhelming emotions usually end up in me crying, regardless if they're overwhelmingly sad, happy, angry, etc. So he drops me off, and I walk into my house and into my room sort of blank, not wanting to let the flood of emotions sitting behind my eyes out until I'm for sure sectioned off in my room. Eventually though I start balling, and feeling alone, and just wanting to ignore everyone forever, etc.
It wasn't more than about 2 weeks later that I was hanging out with Dominic, and he had kissed me. I remember the date exactly, April 11th, 2007, since that would have been Jordan and I's year anniversary :x. But we were watching THE PRINCESS BRIDE, haha, and laying on his water bed together on our bellies. At one point he took my hand and kissed it, and right after heavily exhaled the fact that "I'm sorry, if I didn't do that, I think I would have exploded." So I was like "awwww oh my god" in my head, gushing to myself and feeling bubbly. Eventually we just moved closer together, he rested his arm on my back and was just playing with my hair idly, and eventually I was laying on my back and he was looking at me very hard, like he was trying to make a decision. Then, I don't know when it happened (only a few moments later) but his face was very close to mine, and I was just looking at him very innocently, and he leans in and kisses me softly on the lips once. He apologized again, but I said that it was all right, that I liked it, etc. So started Dominic and I's relationship, but that's a tale for another day.
