Ok, Back in Viridian. Not much point in going to route 22 since I got nothing to train and don’t want to fight my rival yet, so I might as well head straight to Viridian Forest.
La dee dah ACK AMBUSHED BY OLD MAN. No, I already know how to catch Pokemon. Hey, why are you holding onto my wrist? Let go before I break your arm you old fart! What’s this stupid TV thing you’ve given me? I’m supposed to lug this thing around all over the place? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU.
*dashes away from stupid old man*
Hrmmm I guess I had better catch a Rattata to be an HM slave. Don’t want to waste precious move slots on Cut and Rock Smash, that’s for damn certain.
*encounters random Rattata. Catches random Rattata. Promptly forgets about random Rattata*
Random Girl inside entrance to Viridian Forest: “Rattata may be small, but don’t underestimate its wicked bite. Have you caught one already?”
O.O fucking psychic little girl is creeping me out.
Anyway, time to explore this bug infested forest and catch a Pikachu. Surely this will be easy, right?
*10 minutes later*
WHY ARE SO MANY OF THEM FEMALE ARRRRRG. It’s a miracle I haven’t been poisoned yet. Well this is as good a place as any to get Charming up a few levels anyway
Alright, time for my first trainer battle that isn’t Derp! Come at me Bug Catcher Rick! I just hope to god that he doesn’t have a female Metapod...
First one is a male weedle. Alright, ROASTING TIME.
Next is a male caterpie. BURN BABY BURN, DISCO INFERNO!
Aaand that was it? Damn, it’s like that was tailor made to be super easy. Anyway, onto the next one...
Alright let’s see, male Weedle, male Caterpie and... Kakuna (please be male)
...
WOOO it’s male *flambé*
That’s right, keep lining them up for me you damn Bug Catchers! It would be hilarious if they ALL had male only Pokemon now wouldn’t it?
Next Bug catcher, and another TWO male Caterpie! It’s like this place was tailor made for Charming or something! Only two more Bug Catchers to go... think the male streak will last? (wait, did I just use the phrase “male streak”? Fuuuuuuck)
Onto the next one... male Metapod, male Caterpie, male Metapod. Wait what? Seriously, what? How come NONE of them have female Pokemon? Is Viridian forest some sort of all boys club or something?
Anyway METAL CLAW GET! And thank goodness for that, otherwise Brock would be nigh-impossible with nothing but Charming and a Pikachu at my disposal.
Alright, final Bug Catch and he has... One male Weedle! Ok, it’s official something freaky is up here. These Bug Catchers have some sort of boys only pact that even extends to their Pokemon. I can’t explain it, but that just seems creepy somehow.
Well the good news is that that’s pretty much all of Viridian Forest taken care of. The bad news is I haven’t run into a Pikachu yet. Ah well, I’ll just keep trying. I mean, how long could it take?
*10 minutes later*
Woooo Pikachu! It’s female but I don’t give a shit, it only took 10 minutes to find this one and I don’t want to risk the next one taking an hour. Only question... How the hell do I weaken it enough to catch a lv 3 Pikachu with a lv 14 Charmander? Well first I guess I’ll just toss a Pokeball without attacking, see if that works, and if that fails I’ll try a metal claw since Pikachu resists it. I bet it’ll still KO though with my luck...
*tosses first pokeball, fails*
*Pikachu uses Growl*
Hang on, Growl! That’s how I’ll do it! I’ll let it lower my attack a few stages, THEN hit it into capture range! I just have to hope to god I don’t get a crit!
*several turns later*
GODDAMIT STOP USING THUNDERSHOCK AND GROWL ME. It’s like this damn thing can read my mind!
*couple growls and a paralyzed Charmander later*
FINALLY I can attack it.
*Metal claw does pitiful damage*
Ok I let it get my attack too low. Scratch it is then.
*Scratch*
Almost there... one more metal claw.
*Pikachu growls again*
Ok, two metal claws.
*CRITICAL HIT*
MOTHER FUCKER
.
.
.
.
.
Ok, trip to the Pokemon center then I try this again. I guess. T.T
*20 minutes later*
FINALLY another Pikachu, and this one is male! I will catch you this time, damn it! I’ll save you having to read the whole battle again and just give the results...
So? What yah think is going to happen? Will I KO another Pikachu and end up spending another half hour searching for another one? Or do I actually catch it this time? Or do I manage to fuck up so badly that Charming faints and I’m forced to reset? Find out...
NOW! I actually manage to catch the sonuvvabitch! Woooooo! Welcome to the team Shenron! Now to grind it up to an acceptable level, as at lv 3 it isn’t going to be able to help much.
Wait a second, Impish nature? God damn it, it couldn’t have been much worse >.<. Well I’m not going to try to catch another, not after how much shit I went through to get this rat.
*Many Pidgey, Rattata and Weedle later*
All right! I’m all set for Brock now then. First though, Pewter city needs some proper exploration!
Random Jerkwad: "Have you checked out the Museum yet? Yes? WHO CARES I MUST SHOW YOU ANYWAY"
*grabs arm and drags to stupid museum*
Random Jerkwad #2:"OH HAI YOU WALKED BY ME SO I’M GOING TO DRAG YOU TO THE GYM! I’M THE LEAST CREATIVE BROKEN BRIDGE EVAR DON’T YOU LOVE ME?"
Seriously, why does your character let these nitwits drag you off places? If it were me, both these twits would be smoking piles of ashes first time they tried to grab my arm... Self defense! I swear!
Anyway, time to fight Brock! First to wipe the floor with his crony though...
*does so*
Alright, now onto Brock! Wait you were expecting some sort of light-year joke? Seriously people that’s been done to death by now :P
... Wow Brock made a lot of puns on Rock type. I won’t copy them here, for your own sanity.
First up, Geodude!
Actually,I don’t need to say anything about this battle. This Super Effective comic sums it right up
http://www.vgcats.com/super/?strip_id=33
Next up is Onix!
Alright, wow Metal Claw did not do as much I had hoped. Well just gotta keep trying-
*Rock Tomb*
Jeeze there goes most of my health I hope I’m still faster
*is not faster*
Shit
*Charming faints*
DOUBLE SHIT
Ok Shenron... good luck >.<
*Quick attack does god shit all*
*Rock Tomb does half health*
.....
Well shit.
*Shenron faints*
Alright... round 2 anyone?
This time Geodude goes down same as before, then I bring in Shenron to Tail Whip Onix as many times as possible, then I bring out Charming to finish. Surely this will work.
I’ll just skip right to Onix here as Geodude is a total pushover.
*Rapes Geodude*
Alright Shenron, shake your booty!
Wow actually getting a lot of them in thanks to Rock Tomb’s piss poor accuracy. Just keep going until you get your head caved in by rocks Shenron! It’s for the greater good!
*Shenron dies a hero's death, shaking his booty like a champ*
Alright, I think I got 3 Tail Whips in! Now show this rock snake who’s boss Charming!
*Metal claw does over half heath*
BOOYAH
*Rock Tomb brings Charming to 9HP and lowers his speed*
Not so Booyah.
Alright, guess I’ll have to splurge on a few potions...
*All 4 of my potions later*
WHY THE HELL WON’T ROCK TOMB MISS ANYMORE
*finally misses*
Oh thank god, as long as Onix doesn’t crit and Metal Claw doesn’t miss I got this.
*Onix misses again*
*Onix gets raped*
WooooOOOOooOOOOoo finally!
Disclaimer: This is the first I have ever lost to Brock. EVER. Fucking Rock Tomb...
*Charming is evolving!*
=( I wish I could let you evolve, but Bulbous has to Solo Misty first... so sorry my friend.
*Huh? Charming stopped evolving!*
Anyway, onto Mt. Moon now!
.
.
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Errrr, alrgith, I gotta buy some more potions first. But in any case, Chapter finished!
NEW FEATURE! END-OF-CHAPTER STATUS!
Badges: 1
Pokemon: 2
Blackouts: 1 (Damn you Onix)
Charming the Charmander:
Level 16
Ember
Metal Claw
Scratch
Growl
Shenron the Pikachu:
Level 12
Thundershock
Thunder Wave
Quick Attack
Tail Whip