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Washing Machines, Lettuce Pixies, and Pringles Jellyfish (Warstory)

Discussion in 'Dragonspiral Tower' started by NeoShadow, Jan 15, 2012.

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  1. NeoShadow

    NeoShadow

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    5
    This is my first warstory, so don't expect anything special just yet.

    As I was laddering on PO with a new team,, I found that one of my good friends who I do not believe is on Smogon was online. Things led to other things, and this battle ensued.

    Comments will be in blue.


    NeoShadow's team (open)
    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]

    VirtualSpirit's team (open)
    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]


    Battle between NeoShadow and VirtualSpirit started!
    Tier: Standard OU
    Rule: Unrated
    Rule: Sleep Clause
    Rule: Freeze Clause
    Rule: Species Clause
    Rule: Wifi Battle
    Rule: Self-KO Clause

    So, this appears to be a standard Sand team. I assume he will lead with either Landorus or Scizor to beat my inevitable Tyranitar lead, but I'm too smart for that. I decide to lead with Gliscor, as he fares decently against every Pokemon on my opponent's team.

    [TMH] Prakigam sent out Gliscor!
    VirtualSpirit sent out Mainstream (Scizor)!
    [​IMG]

    My prediction was indeed correct. He will either perform a feeble attempt at a Bullet Punch, outright switching, or U-turning. Either way, it gives me an excellent opportunity to set up a Swords Dance. I decide to do just that, in hopes I can get a little mini-sweep going.

    Turn 1

    Gliscor used Swords Dance!
    Gliscor's Attack sharply rose!

    The foe's Mainstream used U-turn!
    It's not very effective... Gliscor lost 17% of its health!

    VirtualSpirit called Mainstream back!
    VirtualSpirit sent out CloudRider (Landorus)!

    Gliscor's Toxic Orb activated!
    Gliscor was badly poisoned!
    [​IMG]

    That dealt a little more then I wanted it to, but I safely set up a Swords Dance, and the leader genie appears. I hope I can survive a Hidden Power from this health, and Ice Fang for the KO.

    Turn 2

    The foe's CloudRider used Substitute!
    The foe's CloudRider made a substitute!

    Gliscor used Ice Fang!
    It's super-effective! The foe's CloudRider's substitute faded!

    The foe's CloudRider restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    Gliscor restored HP using its Poison Heal!
    [​IMG]

    That definitely helped me, as it did absoltuely nothing for him and gave me a free turn of Poison Heal recovery. The same game plan as last turn shall be in effect now, and let's see what this bat can do!

    Turn 3

    The foe's CloudRider used Hidden Power!
    It's super-effective! Gliscor lost 83% of its health!

    Gliscor used Ice Fang!
    It's super-effective! The foe's CloudRider lost 81% of its health!

    The foe's CloudRider fainted!

    Gliscor restored HP using its Poison Heal!
    VirtualSpirit sent out Shofu (Darmanitan)!
    [​IMG]

    Gliscor survives, and OHKOs with Ice Fang. Due to the amount he has left, he has outlived his usefulness, and I'll use it to see what move its locked into.

    Turn 4

    The foe's Shofu used Flare Blitz!
    Gliscor lost 23% of its health!

    Gliscor fainted!
    The foe's Shofu is hit with recoil!

    [TMH] Prakigam sent out Tyranitar!

    Tyranitar's Sand Stream whipped up a sandstorm!
    [​IMG]

    Due to it using Flare Blitz, I switch in Tyranitar, who with the spread I use can tank a Flare Blitz rather well. I decide to set up Stealth Rocks to put a little more damage on the foe alongside the Sand Stream damage.

    Turn 5

    VirtualSpirit called Shofu back!
    VirtualSpirit sent out Jackkkkkkk3 (Tyranitar)!

    Tyranitar used Stealth Rock!
    Pointed stones float in the air around VirtualSpirit's team!
    The sandstorm rages!
    [​IMG]

    I set up Stealth Rock,as he switches into his own Tyranitar. I'm expecting a Superpower, so I switch into Celebi to tank the hit in hopes that I can Leaf Storm it.

    Turn 6

    [TMH] Prakigam called Tyranitar back!
    [TMH] Prakigam sent out Celebi!

    The foe's Jackkkkkkk3 used Stealth Rock!
    Pointed stones float in the air around [TMH] Prakigam's team!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Celebi is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Celebi restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    He sets up his own Stealth Rock, so I go with Leaf Storm to get some damage in.

    Turn 7

    VirtualSpirit called Jackkkkkkk3 back!
    VirtualSpirit sent out Mainstream (Scizor)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Mainstream!

    Celebi used Leaf Storm!
    It's not very effective... A critical hit! The foe's Mainstream lost 36% of its health!
    Celebi's Special Attack sharply fell!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Celebi is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Celebi restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    He switches in Scizor, which is perfectly fine with me. The crit helped quite a bit, too. I'm expecting a U-turn, which means Celebi goes first, and even with the Special Attack drop this pixie should KO with HP Fire. Let's go, and see what this girl can do!

    Turn 8

    Celebi used Hidden Power!
    It's super-effective! The foe's Mainstream lost 51% of its health!

    The foe's Mainstream fainted!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Celebi is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Celebi restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    VirtualSpirit sent out Shofu (Darmanitan)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Shofu!
    [​IMG]

    Scizor is down, which is rather helpful, as he is a nuisance to this team. However, the ape thing shows his face again, which is slightly less helpful. He'll either Flare Blitz or U-turn, and Rotom-W can take them both rather well. Let's go, washer!

    Turn 9

    [TMH] Prakigam called Celebi back!
    [TMH] Prakigam sent out Rotom-W!
    Pointed stones dug into Rotom-W!

    The foe's Shofu used U-turn!
    Rotom-W lost 31% of its health!

    VirtualSpirit called Shofu back!
    VirtualSpirit sent out Evilblob (Reuniclus)!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Rotom-W is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Rotom-W restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    He decided on a U-turn, which took a sizable chunk out of Rotom. He switches in his Reuniclus, which could be a bit of an annoyance. Let's Pain Split to get a little bit of that health back.

    Turn 10

    Rotom-W used Pain Split!
    The battlers shared their pain!

    The foe's Evilblob used Trick Room!
    The foe's Evilblob twisted the dimensions!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Rotom-W is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Rotom-W restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    This is a Trick Room Reuniclus, it seems. This means it doesnt have Calm Mind, but it also means it has incredible offensive power. Let's see if I can tank a Psychic and retaliate with Hydro Pump.

    Turn 11

    The foe's Evilblob used Psychic!
    Rotom-W lost 82% of its health!

    Rotom-W used Hydro Pump!
    The foe's Evilblob lost 60% of its health!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Rotom-W is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Rotom-W restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    Both attacks fail to KO, but Rotom-W is left crippled. He's probably going to Psychic again, so let's switch into Scizor to take the hit.

    Turn 12

    [TMH] Prakigam called Rotom-W back!
    [TMH] Prakigam sent out Scizor!
    Pointed stones dug into Scizor!

    The foe's Evilblob used Psychic!
    It's not very effective... Scizor lost 29% of its health!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Scizor restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    Reuniclus are so useful, but so predictable. He's going to stay in for the KO, so let's Bullet Punch it before it can do anything.

    Turn 13

    Scizor used Bullet Punch!
    The foe's Evilblob lost 8% of its health!

    The foe's Evilblob fainted!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Scizor restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    VirtualSpirit sent out U JELLY? (Jellicent)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's U JELLY?!
    [​IMG]

    In comes Jellicent, the freaky Pringles jellyfish. I'd switch to Celebi or Rotom-W in normal circumstances, but he'd predict the Leaf Storm and switch in Darmanitan, which I cannot let happen. Rotom-W is too low on health to take an attack, so I'll just weaken the jellyfish with Bug Bite.

    Turn 14

    Scizor used Bug Bite!
    It's not very effective... The foe's U JELLY? lost 18% of its health!

    The foe's U JELLY? used Will-O-Wisp!
    Scizor was burned!
    The sandstorm rages!

    The foe's U JELLY? is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Scizor restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    The foe's U JELLY? restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    Scizor is hurt by its burn!
    The twisted dimensions returned to normal!
    [​IMG]

    The dimensions have twisted out of my favor now, so I'll switch to Celebi now, because I just realized that Darmanitan will probably fall into KO range of Leaf Storm after the Stealth Rock damage.

    Turn 15

    [TMH] Prakigam called Scizor back!
    [TMH] Prakigam sent out Celebi!
    Pointed stones dug into Celebi!

    The foe's U JELLY? used Scald!
    It's not very effective... Celebi lost 11% of its health!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Celebi is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's U JELLY? is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Celebi restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    The foe's U JELLY? restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    I really love the offensive and defensive capabilities of Celebi, so I used the Tinkerbell set to take advantage of both. As said before, Leaf Storm will beat both Jellicent and the incoming Darmanitan, so it's a win-win situation if I use it. So, let's use it.

    Turn 16

    VirtualSpirit called U JELLY? back!
    VirtualSpirit sent out Shofu (Darmanitan)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Shofu!

    Celebi used Leaf Storm!
    It's not very effective... The foe's Shofu lost 42% of its health!

    The foe's Shofu fainted!
    Celebi's Special Attack sharply fell!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Celebi is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Celebi restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    VirtualSpirit sent out Jackkkkkkk3 (Tyranitar)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Jackkkkkkk3!
    [​IMG]

    Wonderful. There goes Darmanitan, another annoying Pokemon on this team. Tyranitar comes in, likely to Crunch me, so let's switch to Scizor. Even though it's burnt, it will still deal a sizable chunk with Brick Break.

    Turn 17

    [TMH] Prakigam called Celebi back!
    [TMH] Prakigam sent out Scizor!
    Pointed stones dug into Scizor!

    The foe's Jackkkkkkk3 used Crunch!
    It's not very effective... Scizor lost 16% of its health!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Scizor restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    The foe's Jackkkkkkk3 restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    Scizor is hurt by its burn!
    [​IMG]

    Let's go and perform the Brick Break, get that rascal out for the count.

    Turn 18

    VirtualSpirit called Jackkkkkkk3 back!
    VirtualSpirit sent out U JELLY? (Jellicent)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's U JELLY?!

    Scizor used Brick Break!
    It had no effect!
    The sandstorm rages!

    The foe's U JELLY? is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's U JELLY? restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    Scizor restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    Scizor is hurt by its burn!
    [​IMG]

    I am currently facepalming for forgetting about Pringles guy over here. Bug Bite seems to be my best option right now, so I use it.

    Turn 19

    The foe's U JELLY? used Recover!
    The foe's U JELLY? regained health!

    Scizor used Bug Bite!
    It's not very effective... The foe's U JELLY? lost 8% of its health!
    The sandstorm rages!

    The foe's U JELLY? is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's U JELLY? restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    Scizor restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    Scizor is hurt by its burn!
    [​IMG]

    Recover was the last thing I wanted there, but I have a feeling it could come in handy later... Let's Bullet Punch it for some extra damage before I die.

    Turn 20

    Scizor used Bullet Punch!
    It's not very effective... The foe's U JELLY? lost 6% of its health!

    The foe's U JELLY? used Scald!
    Scizor lost 17% of its health!

    Scizor fainted!
    The sandstorm rages!

    The foe's U JELLY? is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's U JELLY? restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [TMH] Prakigam sent out Rotom-W!
    Pointed stones dug into Rotom-W!
    [​IMG]

    Due to my Scizor's fainting, I decide to send out Rotom-W because with the extra health it can heal some damage off with Pain Split, while dealing a fair bit of damage to Jellicent, too.

    Turn 21

    Rotom-W used Pain Split!
    The battlers shared their pain!

    The foe's U JELLY? used Recover!
    The foe's U JELLY? regained health!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Rotom-W is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's U JELLY? is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Rotom-W restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    The foe's U JELLY? restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    It must have predicted that, and Recovered off the extra health. This is quite helpful, as I can Pain Split once more. After that, it should be in the KO range of Thunderbolt.

    Turn 22

    Rotom-W used Pain Split!
    The battlers shared their pain!

    The foe's U JELLY? used Taunt!
    Rotom-W fell for the taunt!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Rotom-W is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's U JELLY? is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Rotom-W restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    The foe's U JELLY? restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    Well, that Taunt was certainly an unusual move. I now proceed to Thunderbolt, as it is a OHKO and I can finally be rid of that jellyfish.

    Turn 23

    Rotom-W used Thunderbolt!
    It's super-effective! The foe's U JELLY? lost 69% of its health!

    The foe's U JELLY? fainted!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Rotom-W is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Rotom-W restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    VirtualSpirit sent out Jackkkkkkk3 (Tyranitar)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Jackkkkkkk3!
    [​IMG]

    Jellicent goes down, and I'm met with a Tyranitar, his last remaining Pokemon. Hydro Pump is the definite choice here, as Will-o-wisp would only prolong the match.

    Turn 24

    Rotom-W used Hydro Pump!
    It's super-effective! The foe's Jackkkkkkk3 lost 45% of its health!

    The foe's Jackkkkkkk3 used Crunch!
    Rotom-W lost 40% of its health!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Rotom-W is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Rotom-W restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    The foe's Jackkkkkkk3 restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    Tyranitar is barely in the KO range of Hydro Pump now, so I decide to blast it with another spray of water.

    Turn 25

    Rotom-W used Hydro Pump!
    It's super-effective! The foe's Jackkkkkkk3 lost 42% of its health!

    The foe's Jackkkkkkk3 fainted!

    NeoShadow won the battle!

    Yes! I win the match. Even though the 3-0 score may say otherwise, this was a very close match and I had to fight for the win. Now, it's Props and Slops time!

    Props:

    • Rotom-W for taking down Jellicent and Tyranitar
    • Celebi for taking down Scizor and Darmanitan
    • Jellicent for being an all-around boss and annoying the crap out of me in this battle

    Slops:

    • Both Tyranitars for doing nothing but setting up Stealth Rock
    • Gliscor for doing very little in this match
    • Latios for doing absolutely nothing (in fact, when I ran this through aesoft's warstory maker, it didn't include Latios in the team preview)

    MVP:

    [​IMG]

    Aside from taking down Jellicent and Ttar, he weakened Reuniclus enough to get it into Scizor's KO range, and was just an all-around boss.


    That's my first warstory. Praise/flame/critique/Luvdisc at your leisure.
  2. Princess Bubblegum

    Princess Bubblegum

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2011
    Messages:
    2,987
    Pretty decent war story here. I just have 2 problems here:

    1. When he switched in Reunicles, why didn't you just switch immediatly with Scizor
    2. Same deal when Jellicent switched into Scizor, why didn't you just go for Celebi?

    This is a really solid warstory for a first time though, I appreciate your effort.
  3. NeoShadow

    NeoShadow

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    5
    1. I must admit I wasn't thinking then, I was rather half-asleep at the time.
    2. I hadn't yet ran the calcs of Leaf Storm on Darmanitan, I figured it would switch in, survive, and deal great damage with U-turn.

    Thanks, I tried to make it similar to other, heralded warstories.
  4. MajorGambit

    MajorGambit

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2010
    Messages:
    104
    I find this pretty below average. The comments are basically you describing the next move, not considering all the possibilities and with very few predictions going on.

    The battle wasn't close and both players had lots of mistakes. I mean, your playing with Scizor was embarassing. After the misplay of using bug bite on a Ghost poke which generally runs a bold + def evs nature and is indeed bulky, seeing the pitful damage and going again for the bug bite...I mean, this was pretty bad. Your opponent let Pringles faint for nothing, probably cause he had given up the battle by that point.

    And, if so, this is not warstory-worthy material, IMO.
  5. Dark Arceus

    Dark Arceus

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Messages:
    310
    Not amazing, not dreadful like some others.

    Perhaps a 4/10 overall? This wasn't really terrible like many others and I would give lots of 1-1.5's on others. 9-9.5 for amazing. And I guess you are stuck with a 4 then.

    Also really, really, small nit pick. In turn 7 you refer to Celebii as female. I know that it can be argued but I didn't like it. (This has nothing to do with my rate just something very small I don't like).
  6. PoJ

    PoJ

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2010
    Messages:
    1,695
    It's a little lacking in commentary, I stopped reading this 1/5th of the way because the commentary bored me. I think you should improve on that in the future! :]
  7. Challenger

    Challenger

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2011
    Messages:
    99
    Visually...

    this is an "A" grade. It only missed out on the A+ because you didn't include health percentages. Those can be a pain to add, but I find them helpful when reading the warstory.

    The battle...

    D+. A 3-0 victory almost certainly doesn't make for a good warstory, and the fact that one of your pokemon didn't even have to come in makes this a poor battle choice.

    Also, the turns in which you are trying to fight Jellicent with Scizor are almost upsetting to me. Jellicent is the prime example of annoing burn stall, and a burned Scizor is useless. There was 0% chance he didn't use scald or will-o-wisp in that situation. Since you ended up switching to Celebi anyway, allowing him to burn Scizor was just plain bad.

    Also, your opponent not instantly casting a hidden power ice at your Gliscor was very poor strategy. I understand the idea of subbing to scout for the ice fang, but if he didn't think HP ice was a KO, he shouldn't have stayed in.

    That's just two examples, but they marked a theme throughout this battle.

    Your commentary....
    C-. Most of your commentary was simply describing your move, which we can get from the battle log. Your grammar was good, which is why this grade is as high as it is.

    My advice would be to add more of your thought process, as you did with turn 14, pointing out that stealth rock and leaf storm will more than likely end his Darminitan switch in.


    Overall, I think you have the idea of a good warstory down, especially the format. You just need a more attractive battle and some polish on your commentary.
  8. NixHex

    NixHex A new vice president erryday to keep me busy
    is a member of the Site Staffis a Forum Moderatoris a Pokemon Researcheris a Contributor to Smogonis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnus
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2009
    Messages:
    2,581
    nld230 said pretty much everything that needs to said. The commentary was bland and none of your predictions went wrong. Scizor using Bug Bite against Jellicent was just painful (not for Jellicent!). Most disappointing of all was the fact that Latios, a monster special attacker that is really difficult to switch in on, wasn't even needed to dismantle your opponent's entire team.

    Good effort, and I love aesoft's format, but please step on over to they Warstory Archives subforum to see what makes a good warstory.
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