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eternal damnation of the mildly sinful

every time you make a niche joke that you think might land with the people you're talking to it flops and then 3 hours later you see them talking about the thing you joked about
 
You work at the National Post as a sports writer but everyone you mention it to thinks you're as crazy as your coworker who can't stop talking about brutally and gruesomely murdering small animals
 
you are exactly $0.01 off from being able to buy anything from the grocery store, no matter what, and every time you try to check out there will be someone with 100 items in front of you
 
You're going to take a vacation from your job at the National Post but your only coworker available to watch your pets is Tristin Hopper
 
cookie said:
your smoke alarm beeps no matter how often you change its battery
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this is too harsh

i have like straight up a ptsd ass response hearing a smoke alarm bc one time as a kid when parents left, it went off at midnight because battery and woke me up, older brother tried to fix it, dogs going crazy, im sensitive to the noise, he decides to give up and go get liquor so im just in the house for like an hour of it and then he comes back and gets it after like another hour

much much more than just an inconvenience if you're sensitive to noise
 
You constantly have minor hallucinations that are more irritating than anything, and you can't figure out what to do about them. Everyone you consult just tells you to check your carbon monoxide detector, which you have done countless times.
 
Streaming platforms have all your favorite songs but only in quality that's just noticeably bad, like bad enough that it's distracting
 
every time you play a fighting game, your main gets buffed to the point of being overpowered and it gets banned
 
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