Birthday Wishes

Chaos[ZR]

I'm not sure if this is the right forum for this post. I considered Smeargle's Studio since I'm going to be making something in Photoshop but I dunno. If there's a better spot for this thread then by all means move it.

My friend Lila's birthday is coming up in a few days and I wanna do something nice for her. She got in trouble a few days ago and her parents said that she can't have her sweet 16 anymore which kinda sucks. She also doesn't like presents and told me not to get her one >.> I still want to do something nice so I decided to write her a poem since she digs poetry. I'm probably going to make her something in Photoshop too. I wanna see what you guys think of my poem so far, so here goes.

I am reminded of what I never get to say.
I'm very glad that I know you.
I am reminded of how much light and sparkle
That you freely dispense wherever you go,
How your sunny smile lights up even the darkest of places.
Every birthday marks another year of your contagious happiness
that infects all who come in contact with you.

On your birthday,
I am reminded of what I never get to say.
I'm very glad that I met you.
I am reminded of how friends will come and go,
The seasons will change as time moves on,
I will age and so will you,
But our friendship will always stay strong and true.
Many people will walk in and out of my life
But only a true friend like you, Lila,
Will leave footprints in my heart.

On your birthday,
I am reminded of I never get to say.
I'm very glad that I have you.
I am reminded that "Happy Birthday" means so much more
than have a happy day.
Within these words lie hopes and promises.
It means I love you and it means you mean a lot to me.
But most of all, I guess it means that I'm thinking of you
And your happiness on this, your very special day.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

It's still a work in progress but I'm getting there. Let me know if I should add/change anything. Also, any ideas for what I can do to make her birthday more special would be great. Thanks in advance.
 
Finish, your poem. Then place it outside of her house. Ring the bell, hide, wait 'till she opens the door and reads the letter. Then, before she closes the door, walk out of your hiding spot with a pack of flowers.

Have fun. ^.^
 
who reads letters on their doorstep? you watch too much tv. normal people take the mail inside, make a cup of tea, milk first, half a spoonful of sugar, possibly with a chocolate digestive... THEN they read their letters
 
Fuzznip said:
Finish, your poem. Then place it outside of her house. Ring the bell, hide, wait 'till she opens the door and reads the letter. Then, before she closes the door, walk out of your hiding spot with a pack of flowers.

Have fun. ^.^
Click to expand...
You only do that if your really good friends with her. I mean reeeeeaaalllly good friends, of if she knows you love her or something. It's fun.
 
You should get her a puppy and leave that at her front doorstep with the poem on its collar. I doubt she'll take it in immediately in that case. And make sure you're wearing a scary mask and costume when you jump out at her. They love that.
 
I am reminded of what I never get to say.
I'm very glad that I know you.
I am reminded of how much light and sparkle

Why is I am to I'm a recurrent switch of yours? Go with one or the other.
At least go with something like "Thank the grace of God that I know you" or 'nature' if she is atheist or something.

That you freely dispense wherever you go, <--you make it sound like she is your toilet paper, at least say project rather than dispense or something (and freely is a terrible choice too)
How your sunny smile lights up even the darkest of places. <--room over darkest of places or something...there is a borderline of being too cheesy, and you crossed it at the beginning of this three line metaphor, but then you blew it up with dynamite on this line

Every birthday marks another year of your contagious happiness <--now that you are finished making her toilet paper, you decided to make her a disease too; I see!
that infects all who come in contact with you.

Also, you should only write this poem if you want it to be patently clear you are in love with her, since that is what you are saying at this point. If you are not in love, then draw her a picture or card or something, since this poem is honestly trash.
 
Hey dude, I agree with CK that you really shouldn't give her this poem unless you want to confess your love to her or something. You really don't want to send the wrong message if you don't, which is what this poem will most likely do.

A card is a much better idea for friends of the opposite sex that you don't necessarily like in 'that way' (or if you don't want them to know). It's generally better if you write the card yourself, because you don't want to seem extremely cheap by letting Hallmark say everything you want to say. Hallmark doesn't know your friend, you do, so you should be writing stuff in the card besides To and From.

Since it does sound like your friend likes poetry, I'd recommend putting one in your card. However, don't bother putting a regular poem with the rhyming and stuff. I'd recommend an acrostic poem. You know, one where you put the letters of their name (you can put the last name too if you want since her name is pretty short), and use those letters to describe them with an adjective or a sentence (if you need a better explanation I'll edit one into my post).

I find that acrostic poems are a very good way of saying what you think about someone, without saying too much. Whenever I make a card (or am too cheap to buy a present), I often put one of those in there, and they get well-received, and I don't sound totally weird either. I think they're simple, but effective.
 
You love her as a friend or this is the way you are going to confess your love for her as more than a friend?
 
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