Shallowness, Superficiality and Female Hypocracy.

Soviet_Steelix

As men we get a cop a lot of flac from people who say we are shallow and superficial.

But does anyone else think that maybe, just maybe, men are less shallow than women are?

I've met so many men, even friends of mine who either like fat girls, or would date a not so good looking girl if they like everything else about her and so on. I remember quoting what Nietzsche said about getting married ("when getting married choose someone who you think you could have a conversation with 40 years from now") to a group of friends and they all agreed it was absolutely true.

When I said the same quote to a couple of girls they laughed and said "That's settling for pretty low expectations isn't it?"

Are women more shallow than men? I can't help but think they are.

Note: I'm not trying to be sexist and I think that people are morons if they believe that there are no inherent differences between the sexes.
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Being a male myself I will be the first to admit that superficiality is very common among us. I am not saying though that men are emotionaly dead sex monsters. I think it takes the right person though, I would not marry a person based soley on the fact that she is incredibly good looking, but I'll be honest and say that out of two girls, one of which is gorgeous and the other is less than good looking, I will be more attracted to good looking one.

Liking fat girls does not make a person less shallow. That is what you are into, in the same way I like tall brunetts.

What female hypocracy are you talking about though?

By the way, you might want to change your Shoddy nick and that URL before you start to talk about shallowness and hypocracy.
 
You can make an argument that girls are more superficial than guys, but I wouldn't base this on who someone liked and how low their standards are.

All of my friends read Vogue and Seventeen and etc. whereas I couldn't stand those magazines and would rather spend my free time smuggling pokemon on my computer. I think this is why I would say I am less superficial than my friends becuase of what they have learned. Some (most) guys expect girls to being thin, tallish, and beautiful, so no wonder some would turn to shallow magazines to find answers! I feel pressured to look my best everyday otherwise I'll be a guy repellent...so my viewpoint is that girls would turn to superficial things such as makeup, dieting, etc. in order to make ourselves appealing and thus we become superficial.

However, I think it is the guys who drive the girls to be superficial, so maybe it is you guys that are more superficial! I dunno...it's a pretty debateable topic.
 
Superficiality exist in two forms I think. One form is superficiality towards others, in other words liking someone for their outwards apearance. And self superficiality, caring about the way that you look (vanity). Both of these exist abundantly in today's society, but I think that the OP was talking about superficiality towards others.

I'm pretty clueless about the female psyche so I'll let them talk for themselves instead of assuming things, but personally I think the male population is pretty superficial. If you take a quick look at the porn industry you will see that it is a huge money making entity. I'm almost positive that it is driven by male superficiality.
 
Soviet_Steelix said:


When I said the same quote to a couple of girls they laughed and said "That's settling for pretty low expectations isn't it?"

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I'm guessing that before this conversation with these two girls, you believed that men were more shallow than women. How did these two change your policy so quickly? Was one of them hot?

But seriously, the first thing i look at when i meet a girl is how she looks. Does that make me shallow? Or does shallow mean that all i care about someone looks? My first impression of someone is how they look, but not all of my friends are supermodels.

Maybe these two girls want more than just a conversation in forty years as a marriage incentive.
 
Thats exactly what I was thinking, how does that make them shallow?

When first meeting someone is it not instincitive to see the way in which they outwardly present themselves? When you go to an interview is it not correct to dress properly to make a good first impression? Superficiality is much deeper than that. Superficiality is when outwards appearance is all that matters. Yes it is nice to look at someone with a great body, it does not make you superficial. What does is when that body is all that matters.
 
Guys expect women to be thin and tall?

Wow, the standard of female beauty really is decided by gay men in the fashion industry.

Most women are shorter than most men. I forget what the average female height is, but it used to be 5'2. Maybe it's up to 5'6 now.

Most models won't get a contract until they are at least 5'9. If they have a chest it's fake, they look like skeletons, and they weigh as much as 12 year old boys. It's rather disgusting actually.

Now superficially I look for a girl, depending on height, between 100 and 130 lbs with solid hips and a noticeable chest, preferably between 5'0 and 5'4. Physical features aren't the primary lure, but they certainly don't hurt any.

Women have standards for appearance too, with the media generated models ranging from the lanky prettyboy to the buff lifeguard.

Shallowness is basically an individual trait though. Your milage may vary. Most people have something they are interested in, and talking about the opposite sex makes them leery.
 
Deck Knight said:
Guys expect women to be thin and tall?

Wow, the standard of female beauty really is decided by gay men in the fashion industry.
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shit shit SHIT you guys are getting closer to the secret of the gay agenda! We must have a rat....

But seriously, for every female that is shallow or superficial there are just as many shallow, superficial males. There is nothing about superficiality that is inherently feminine or masculine. Saying that girls are shallow just because they are girls is like saying Jews are greedy because theyre Jews. It's a personality trait that transcends race and gender.
 
Standards for appearance and superficiality are different things though. Just because you have preferences in the outward appearance of someone does not make you superficial. When the outward appearance of other people becomes even more important than everything else, that is superficiality.
 
SEO said:
If you take a quick look at the porn industry you will see that it is a huge money making entity. I'm almost positive that it is driven by male superficiality.
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You don't have to be in love with someone you masturbate to. Couples use porn too. What's wrong with acknowledging to yourself someone is more attractive than your wife?
 
But the porn industry thrives on superficiality. You dont know those people, all that is important is their body. That is superficiality. The amount of couples who use porn are such a small percentage of the amount of users its laughable.

Im not saying you cant think someone is hotter than your wife, that is not shallow at all. That is human nature.
 
How is liking someone for their appearance any less superficial than, say, liking someone for their personality? Because appearance is on the outside and somehow there is some sort of connection between superficiality and the insideness/outsideness of a quality? They aren't as different as people say they are; ultimately, intelligence, physical attractiveness, etc are superficial categories of attractiveness and you are no less a person for appreciating appearance over intelligence; it just happens to be what you're into.

Honestly, most accusations of superficiality just seems like a way for sexually frustrated people to belittle those they feel inferior to (though I'm sure that's not the case for everyone). It doesn't help that people who are good looking aren't necessarily intelligent (it is a bit unreasonable to expect someone to be both good looking and intelligent; you really have to hit the genetic lottery). People are what they are and like what they do; and they aren't any less for being as such (you just personally may not like them).
 
Note: I'm not trying to be sexist and I think that people are morons if they believe that there are no inherent differences between the sexes.
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If you really feel compelled to include a disclaimer of this sort on your statements about 'female hypocracy [sic]', then you seem well aware of its misogynistic character without my reminding you, but I will nevertheless. Concluding that women are more superficial than men based on anecdotal evidence is a bit like concluding that blacks are genetically prone to dealing drugs based on similar experiences.
 
ChristovaOnIce said:
So.... short chicks with big boobs?
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Proportionate is a more appropriate word. The adjective I used was "noticeable," which I would contrast with "negligible." Basically my physical preferences do not tend to seek probability-defying female figures. It's tough enough to find a good woman for you in the first place, driving your options into the realms of plastic surgery isn't a wise idea, not if you don't want your kids to get saline poisoning from breastfeeding.

No one wants to be this guy:

Guy: "What do you mean you can't do it."

Gal: "The doctor says it would be too dangerous."

Guy: "I thought they were real!"

Gal: "~_~;"
 
Deck Knight said:
Proportionate is a more appropriate word. The adjective I used was "noticeable," which I would contrast with "negligible." Basically my physical preferences do not tend to seek probability-defying female figures. It's tough enough to find a good woman for you in the first place, driving your options into the realms of plastic surgery isn't a wise idea, not if you don't want your kids to get saline poisoning from breastfeeding.
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True, true. And then there's the danger that her ersatz breasts will fuse together into one large uberboob.

I watch Dateline too much.
 
Anecdotally, I can tell you that I find someone hot based on their personality. I don't get the idea of being able to separate the two; I find my boyfriend hot because he's funny and kind and lovely and wonderful. That doesn't mean I'm not physically attracted to him - I am - but it's the whole thing, isn't it?
 
I agree with you akuchi. My girlfriend is beautiful but I love her because of the way she makes me feel when she's around. I can easily say without hesitation that I have met innumerable women throughout my life that were drop dead gorgeous that I wouldn't think twice about dating, and that's due to the fact that their personality is such a turnoff that I can't look past it long enough to appreciate how good they look.
 
Sorry baby, the distance wasn't working for me. Plus her and I got robbed together at gunpoint, so we formed a bond pretty quickly.
 
beware DM... remember Sandra Bullock's sage advice at the end of Speed???
"you know, relationships that start under intense circumstances, they never last"
!!!
 
Id say more women are shallow then men. While working I have seen this to be true, at school I found this to be true. Men tend to be a little more simple, and I say that in a very positive way. Women often are more cruel and crude to people around them. Women will do down right nasty things to each other while for the guys, usually it is something pretty simple and dumb. The women go for the more cunning and more shallow moves.

Of course, cant say it is true in all cases, but from my personal observations, yes, women are a deal more shallow then men.
 
a lot of the problem is what girls think guys' standards are and vice versa. like, a lot of girls think all guys are into the tall, skinny girls with fake boobs and tight asses and whatnot, and a lot of guys think girls are into tall, thin guys with great pecs, sixpacs and that fucking V thing.

thing is, none of the girls i talk to actually use that as a basis for anything. and the ones that do are skank bitches anyway.

and i've met one guy that uses that image of woman as any kind of standard. and he's a doucebag.
 
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