How have your past girlfriend/boyfriend relationships been?

Aww lame. :/
That's cool though we're Smogonites regardless. :D

Argh nooooo letter trumps IM any day.
But the direct talking thing could be cool if you're worried about the waiting making you hella nervous.
 
IM is stupid unless you talk a lot on it. Letter or phone. Do it do it.

Also send it to me so I can make it all girl lovey
 
Well, IM is usually how we communicate, since she didn't have her own cell phone (that she could use for talking to friends, anyways) until just recently. I think we've only actually talked on the once or twice a few years ago.

Also, sending, CIM. :P
 
Ok, so I posted up a thing a moment ago and then the internet decided to have a stroke and shut down websites selectively.


At this point, the mode of communication is irrelevant in terms of lameness. You're so emotionally invested now that no matter what manner of confession you use, it will come off as awkward and uncomfortable. The choice of mode here is not about impressing her.

And that's not that much of a problem in your case. You and her are already friends, so it's not about making a good impression. What this is about now is not succeeding in picking her up, because she already has a full formed opinion of you. It's about getting you to speak your mind, so as not to regret never saying anything for the rest of your life.

Consequently, the mode you choose being lame is almost unavoidable. Whether it's an uncomfortably awkward face-to-face chat, an unbearable phone call, or any of the electronic or other passive methods is irrelevant to your success. However, I stress, do not use a letter unless you're physically going to put it in her hands for her to read.

Anything that leaves a nonnegligible time period between you sending and you getting your reply is going to be AGONY. You are going to feel awful. For this reason, I cannot recommend an instantaneous medium more strongly.

Any social convention about "electronic relationship messages are bad", if it really exists (and I don't believe it does, outside of breakups), doesn't apply here because you already have a preexisting rapport. It's too late to make a first impression.


tl;dr: You're not trying to impress her, you're trying to get things off your chest. Use whatever medium you are most comfortable with, don't try and use one because you think it will look better. It is too late for that.
 
For what it's worth, I told someone I talked to a lot over AIM that I liked them, and eventually was in a... quazi relationship with them for 3 months. Though that's much too long for me to recant here, and no one really cares. :(
 
MrIndigo said:
EDIT: To clarify my position on the necessity of physical attraction, I don't mean to imply that platonic friendships are a lesser substitute for a relationship that has a physical component. What Objection seems to want is a great best friend; presumably as a confidant, someone to share interests and acitivities with, mutual respect for each other, etc. etc.
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That's basically it. To me, the physical and romantic aspects of a relationship are uninteresting at best and horrifying at worst.
 
DickFrog said:
all in all, I do actually hope the best for you, and yes even if you send a letter. Just know your letter is hopeless.
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Uhm, do you realize that girls are quite emotional and do enjoy stuff like this? Even if it is creepy or whatever, letters are a good way to melt a girl's heart. =/

Anyways...
 
DickFrog said:
Honestly, tough fucking shit.

Im an asshole sure but you're wrong in that I do know what Im talking about here. And though part of me enjoys humiliating you an even greater part of me would like to see you succeed! Even if you end up being rejected, knowing you manned up is an empowering feeling. It's necessary as well; you cant have a romantic love life writing letters and sending IMs. So either be a little bitch about it and complain about how offended you are by my vulgarity or stop being a little pussy. Up to you. I've exerted the extent of my wisdom in this particular scenario so Im done.

all in all, I do actually hope the best for you, and yes even if you send a letter. Just know your letter is hopeless.
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I did not say you didn't know what you were talking about. What I said is that you're making yourself LOOK that way. It's hard to take someone serious when every sentence contains at least one insult and one swear word.
 
In his defense, most of my sentences contain one insult and one swear word.

DickFrog doesn't know the difference between Congregation and Firebot, just ignore him. Joocindoitt!
 
godudette said:
Uhm, do you realize that girls are quite emotional and do enjoy stuff like this? Even if it is creepy or whatever, letters are a good way to melt a girl's heart. =/

Anyways...
Click to expand...

In theory yes girls like it when a guy can demonstrate emotional vulnerability, but most girls do not like guys who are being straight up pussies. The thing is, she will know that he's chickening out because she'll be thinking why didnt he say anything on our "date" or whatever you want to call that atrocity.

If you meet her face-to-face you can say "well during our time together I started to develop a small crush on you and when I came back home I just thought about it more and more and... wow my crush has become huge. I refuse to take no for an answer" or something like that.

And honestly, yes there are some girls that might want to go out even if he sends a letter but they are RARE. And you're a girl who goes on a pokemon forum. I do too, dont get me wrong (Im a dude though) and Im not judging, but Im just saying most people and most girls... will not find it endearing ENOUGH. It takes a special kind of character. They might feel pity (awwww how cute) but they will not want you.

To be even more honest, the only girls who really go for that are brutally insecure and feel empathy because they're the same way (really really shy). I suppose if she is a really shy type girl then maybe it does have better than zero chance of working out (I dont know this girl I cant say) but face-to-face will significantly increase his chances. And empower him. Give him some damn self-esteem.
 
DickFrog said:
In theory yes girls like it when a guy can demonstrate emotional vulnerability, but most girls do not like guys who are being straight up pussies. The thing is, she will know that he's chickening out because she'll be thinking why didnt he say anything on our "date" or whatever you want to call that atrocity.

If you meet her face-to-face you can say "well during our time together I started to develop a small crush on you and when I came back home I just thought about it more and more and... wow my crush has become huge. I refuse to take no for an answer" or something like that.

And honestly, yes there are some girls that might want to go out even if he sends a letter but they are RARE. And you're a girl who goes on a pokemon forum. I do too, dont get me wrong (Im a dude though) and Im not judging, but Im just saying most people and most girls... will not find it endearing ENOUGH. It takes a special kind of character. They might feel pity (awwww how cute) but they will not want you.

To be even more honest, the only girls who really go for that are brutally insecure and feel empathy because they're the same way (really really shy). I suppose if she is a really shy type girl then maybe it does have better than zero chance of working out (I dont know this girl I cant say) but face-to-face will significantly increase his chances. And empower him. Give him some damn self-esteem.
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Okay, I agree with the fact that it's a lot better to do when you're face-to-face. But, since that option is no longer available, we're forced to suggest an alternative. If he wants to do a letter, that's his choice.

Anyways, I wouldn't say that girls who would go out thru letter are rare... If she returns his feelings I'd say she'd go out with him no matter how he asks her. Unless, of course, it was through some really really creepy means... like spelling out "Date Me?" in boogers 0_o

And you're a girl who goes on a pokemon forum.
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What exactly do you mean by this...? I don't think you finished your thought =/
 
My first relationship involved pink duct tape.

...Er, I mean, I haven't had any. Reading the responses on this thread... I'm actually kinda intimidated. So many people talking about break ups that completely crushed them and all that. I don't really have any interesting prospects as of now, but as it seems, having just one long lasting relationship is near impossible.
 
godudette said:
Okay, I agree with the fact that it's a lot better to do when you're face-to-face. But, since that option is no longer available, we're forced to suggest an alternative. If he wants to do a letter, that's his choice.

Anyways, I wouldn't say that girls who would go out thru letter are rare... If she returns his feelings I'd say she'd go out with him no matter how he asks her. Unless, of course, it was through some really really creepy means... like spelling out "Date Me?" in boogers 0_o

What exactly do you mean by this...? I don't think you finished your thought =/
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I think for high school age, particularly earlier on, letters are endearing. Once you get into college age, it comes off as anachronistic at best. It's also only going to make a difference if she doesn't already know you, most of the time. If you already have an existing friendship, the yes or no of the date is not going to be won by the fact you used a letter in most cases, but there is the possibility of making it less likely to succeed through the lameness edge.
 
what do you do if someone untrustworthy somehow finds out who you have feelings for, or "like"? (gonna use the term like from now on even if it sounds stupid because typing have feelings for a bunch is stupid too)
anyways pretty much a girl found out who i like and i dont really trust her since she lies quite a bit, and told me a close friend (who i do trust) told her and the girl i like that i liked said girl. i confronted him about it and im like 99% sure he didnt tell her? i realize crushes and everything are pretty immature but i really am looking for some help
anyways i dont know if she actually know i "like" her but if she finds out what should i do?? (actually what should i do even if she doesnt find out?)
ive never really asked a girl out before when i was unsure of whether or not they liked me (generally i find out if they like me first) because im pretty shy and fear rejection!
sorry if this is hard to understand or whatever but thanks in advance
 
apologies said:
what do you do if someone untrustworthy somehow finds out who you have feelings for, or "like"? (gonna use the term like from now on even if it sounds stupid because typing have feelings for a bunch is stupid too)
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Why don't you want the person who you have feelings for to know? Do you have a good reason to keep it secret?
 
no not really im just extremely shy
i guess i should tell her
but do i just go up to her and say "i like you"? that seems like it would merely be awkward, unless she returned the feelings (it would still be kind of awkward but not so much)
 
You use the ultimate weapon for dealing with any blackmail. Beat them to it.

You have to start asking people someday, so you might as well just take your next chance to talk to the girl, and ask her if she wants to go see a movie with you on the weekend or something like that. Don't gush over her and say "I love you with all my heart and want to marry you and whisk you away to a castle to live happily ever after." Just keep the whole thing simple and casual. "Hey [Person], I like you, would you like to go see [Movie] on Saturday?" Easy to say yes, then.


Crushes aren't immature; they're normal. People get crushes all the time, even through adulthood.
 
her returning the feelings is irrelevant. being shy is silly when it comes to girls, just talk to her don't be desperate or too forward just be honest!
 
apologies said:
no not really im just extremely shy
i guess i should tell her
but do i just go up to her and say "i like you"? that seems like it would merely be awkward, unless she returned the feelings (it would still be kind of awkward but not so much)
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be chill

don't make a massive deal of it (and on the same note don't think about it obsessively because that'll worsen things) when you're talking to her, just chat normally and bring up at some point something like 'so there's a good movie on, fancy going to see it?' etc etc

if she rejects you, boohoo, move on

if she doesn't, good job

to answer the question of the title: terribly. well i've only had one of anything that might be described as a relationship and i've not really pursued one since thanks to assorted neuroses that are destroying even established friendships now, so i've more or less stopped even considering getting into a relationship with a girl even though i sometimes think i want one
 
Damn it fishy Im gonna whip out my member and smack you with it. I mean it, just wait for it.

Oh godudeette I meant being a girl who frequents a pokemon forum makes you a special kind of character, as in much more forgiving of lameness than a typical girl. Thats why smogon is my dirty secret!

Oh yeah, Ive also been making the mistake of assuming this guy is in college. Are you? In college its just way weirder.
 
DickFrog said:
Oh godudeette I meant being a girl who frequents a pokemon forum makes you a special kind of character, as in much more forgiving of lameness than a typical girl. Thats why smogon is my dirty secret!

Oh yeah, Ive also been making the mistake of assuming this guy is in college. Are you? In college its just way weirder.
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Looks like he's 22... so I'd assume he's in college. I'm in college.

Okay, yes. It's a lot more different than in high school. I think it would go over better in high school, but... well... Anyways.

So we're all lame because we're on Smogon? =/ Heh, if only you knew how rare of a breed I really am~
 
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