I've not been around the RMT board that much anymore, since work I've not had much time to write Wikipedia articles pointing out the obvious on people's teams before anyone else has the chance to say the same thing only better, but this place is still where I have my roots on Smogon so I'll update it with a team. I've spent many hours working on various teams of epic proportions, working with tough-as-nails cores designed to murder and reach great heights. They all sucked. Seriously, out of everything I tried I'm almost ashamed to say this uncompetitive tumour is the best thing I've spawned since Gunslinger. But whatever, let's get into it then. You may want to get yourself tested after reading.
Artistic Masterpiece by me, btw
I noticed quite a few cancer-pass teams around a lot, some good and some about as cancerous in functionality as they were in concept, but I've not seen much abuse of the notion of Passing Iron Defence boosts to a CroCune/Bro which honestly just sounds like a vomit-inducing AIDS bullshit team's wet dream, so I figured I'd make the not-so-heroic sacrifice of donating precious moments of my time to haul some mighty shit together with this idea. As such, I started with cancer-pass lord, Scolipede, and the Cro wonder, Suicune.
Leads! I needed a lead, a dedicated suicide lead, something to set up Rocks and blow up to allow me a safe switch into one of the other foul disease-ridden scourges I so desired to force upon the world. I considered Normal Gem Explosion Landorus-T for a truly brutal Explosion and an unexpected kill, or Mamo because it's Mamo, I fucking hate those things, but with how popular anti-leads like Mega Shiny-Eyeballs and Dianciebae are with their Magic Bounce bullshit I decided to pull an Ox the Box and run Skill Swap Azelf to fuck them over nicely. Sickly.
I've only ever battled this set once before, and it was the most vile, repugnant abomination of a 'competitive' set I'd ever seen. I loved it. Trick-Scarf Torment Goth. Shadow Tag itself I think is well worth a nerf, and this set is a relatively good pointer. After getting an easy switch-in against a wall that tried to take Azelf's Explosion, I can trap it, Trick it, and Torment it, forcing it to Struggle frequently and strangle itself to death, and thus a wall was removed. Easy.
Whimsi was kind of a must on this team. Till Klefki can get Memento so I can fuck around even more with the established order, I'll stick with the fastest Prankster abuser in the game to meet my revolting demands. Whimsi fucks with my opponents and generally only dies when she wants to die. Subbing, Leech Seeding, Tail Winding or Giga Draining to wear a team down before finally mementoing at the end of her lifecycle to generate an easy opportunity for Scoli to come in and start setting up. Whimsi, making opposing teams nice and squishy one Prankster at a time.
I needed a fast, hard hitting annoying late-game cleaner to wipe up the steaming shit-smear left on the opposing side. Mega Lop, no contest. I have had so much trouble trying to handle this bitch that I figured I'd make others have to deal with it too. Fantastic late-game cleaner who can pick off remainders of an opposing team after Cune has dug into them, and is also a viable recipient of Speed-Pass and Iron Defence boosts should I so desire it.
WTF BOOM! (Azelf) @ Focus Sash
Ability: Levitate
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 Def / 252 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Stealth Rock
- Skill Swap
- Taunt
- Explosion
Generic suicide lead Azelf. This little exploding taily pixie thing sets into motion a chain of events leading to the inevitable rape and contraction of AIDS by my opponent. As I mentioned before, I had considered other options for this role, I'll get to them in other options at the end, but in the end settled with being halfway generic with this standard suicide lead as it held more utility that can help me fulfil the purpose of this team overall. Set up Rocks and explode so I can grab momentum is the name of the game, but completely dicking with an opponent is always fun too.
Stealth Rocks are the most basic thing on this thing, it's what it's here for. The obvious hazard of choice, lets me threaten Talonflame and Zard-Y who both have potential to bone me over if I'm not playing as well as I could. Helping to wear opposing teams down in general helps out massively too; it puts less pressure on Whimsi to wear shit down, less pressure on Cune to set up more CMs to break through things, and makes it easier for Lop to clean up. While they're not vital to the success of this team and it's really not that big a deal if they're cleared for the most part, you're better off with them than without. Skill Swap was a little something I found on an old team by Ox the Box a while back. The one he used to get to No1 on the ladder. No, not that one, the other one. Yeah, that one. Basically, it dicks around with those Mega Diancie and Mega Shiny-eyeballs leads that try to bounce my Rocks back and keeps them from being obstacles for Whimsi when she's off spamming Leech Seed. I have no Earthquake users on this team, shocker since I'm an advocate of the ideology that every team should have a powerful EQ spammer, so giving something Levitate isn't a problem as long as I make it more useless. Taunt was kept over Fire Blast because Goth can effectively handle those fucking Ferros easily enough after Azelf's exploded, but keeping Rocks at bay, preventing early set-up, holding off a wall from spamming recovery so Goth has an easier time, etc, is much more helpful. Lastly, Explosion gets the ball really rolling. Mandatory on most Azelfs, it pretty much forces a wall out to take the blast, or a Gengar but whatever, which makes it easy pickings for Goth who gets a safe switch in next turn, and if they don't send out their wall then something's getting a bollocking with a heavy hit. It caters towards letting me pick things up no matter what the situation, really.
EV spread is simple, get Rocks up quickly and hit hard. Without Fire Blast there's really no need to detract from Exploding power by slapping EVs anywhere but Atk. Sash is there to live any one hit anyway and is generally lets me get Rocks up against anything barring Mega Lop with a Fake Out Return combo.
I've mentioned Fire Blast before, but I guess I really should slap it as another option due to how standard it is. That's really the only other option to suggest honestly.
Life is Pain (Gothitelle) (F) @ Choice Scarf
Ability: Shadow Tag
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Psychic
- Trick
- Torment
- Protect
This is where the shit really starts to stink. This fucking thing is the most revolting abomination I've ever had the misfortune of witnessing in my entire time as a competitive Pokemon flunkie. It abuses the already uncompetitive ability of Shadow Tag in conjunction with Choice Trick to its absolute limits, very effectively removing any wall dragged out in fear of Explosion before and helping me crack through opposing teams easier from the start. Also a good answer to Mega Lops who lead off to remove Azelf, though do note that Lop does outspeed even a Scarfed Goth iirc.
Psychic is my one form of attack, nice and STAB. It may be questionable to run one single attack which another type is immune to, but since the purpose of Goth is to eliminate a wall I doubt I'll be having troubles unless someone's ballsy enough to pack an Umbreon in OU. Trick is obvious, it gives a trapped wall my incredibly fashionable Scarf and locks them into a single move, making it effectively useless due to walls relying on switching between attacks and recovery to be effective or else they can't wear something down well enough or they get worn down easily themselves, limiting their moves is step one to brutal punishment (this can also be aided by Taunt from Azelf before). Torment limits their moves even more, forcing them to Struggle every other turn to wear them down quickly with the recoil, hopefully this is done in conjunction with Azelf's Taunt so they're locked into an attack, if they're locked into recovery then this might just be redundant and you'd just end up being stalled out. Protect also works on the basis of making sure they're forced into an attack, it partners with Torment in the way that on each turn they're not stuck Struggling I can Protect from their attacks so I guarantee that the wall dies before I do. This is a set that works very well with this team as a whole and all the moves have good chemistry. It's just... Vile.
Scarf was chosen to allow me to outspeed Gengar switch-ins to Azelf to avoid the Explosion, I get a safe switch-in and OHKO with Psychic, nice 'n' simple. The set is standard Scarf EVs, max speed to outspeed and max SpA for damage output; while Goth isn't really designed for much more than coming out after Azelf explodes to remove a wall and die, her usefulness as a revenger isn't one to completely overlook as some speedy offensive support, while pretty passive because, well, it's a Goth, can be nice.
Other options include Psyshock over psychic. Toe-may-toe/toe-mah-toe, your choice whichever. Specs over Scarf to get the KO on Mega Lop, though that would leave you outsped by Gengar and Scarfed Goth can still bring Lop down to easy revenge range. Also, you don't want to trick a special attacking Wall a Specs. Taunt is an option too to be a bit more solid against recovery on walls in case you can't get a Taunt off with Azelf before, it's a good contingency, although it would leave you more open to being worn down by attacks.
The Goat (Whimsicott) (F) @ Leftovers
Ability: Prankster
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 44 SpA / 216 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Substitute
- Leech Seed
- Giga Drain
- Memento
This voodoo popcorn looking thing is one of the most fun discoveries I've stumbled across. It's quite an advantage being the fastest Prankster abuser out there, and a very fun one. Basically she trolls with Sub and Leech Seed to stay alive for longer than any opponent would want and wear them down nicely. Once her usefulness has been served and she can no longer set up Subs or whatever then she Mementos for an easy switch for Scoli to let him start setting up. Easily the funnest thing to use on this team.
Sub is what makes her so annoying, Prankster Sub to control her damage with her HP constantly restored by Leftovers, Leech Seed and Giga Drain to wind back the recoil makes her very very tough to break through and lets her wear things down for quite some time as she just refuses to die. Leech Seed aids her in her quest for eternal life by stealing the opponent's slowly. It rolls back on he Sub recoil and helps me stall out an opponent and force swiches should they fail to break through me and their health gets too low, which is the idea, force them to go through their team to try and pop my cotton bud and in the mean time I feed off all their happiness and joy so I can wipe them out later. Giga Drain keeps me from being Taunt bait, I needed some kind of attack or else I'd be falling short. Giga Drain is the obvious choice, it lets me recover even more HP by stealing it from my opponent, and you know what that means, right? More Subs! Yay! Kind of a necessity. Lastly, Memento comes at the end of her life cycle, when her HP is too low to set up Subs and she can't take another hit, when her PP is low or when I'm just plain bored, Memento comes and kills my opponent's offensive potential dead, ample opportunity to get Scoli in and setting up. Just don't use it against a Bisharp though, but then again why would you bring Whimsi out if Bish is still around?
The HP is for sustainability and sturdier Subs and the speed investment outspeeds Thundurus so I don't have to deal with his Prankster bullshit, I'm not using a Whimsi so I can be out-Prankstered. The remaining EVs go into SpA because why not? Extra boost to my Gigas never hurt, unless you're my opponent Leftovers is obviously additional recovery for Sub recoil and sustainability.
Other options include Tailwind, possibly over Giga Drain to help you outspeed Scarfers and Mega Lop with the rest of your team, as well as let you run a bulkier nature and/or EV spread while still outspeeding Thundurus, though ensuring your Tailwind stays up makes you predictable in a way your opponent can exploit more easily and you could be losing Scoli's easiest set-up opportunity setter if you play wrong. Encore is also a good option to take advantage of of an opponent using an exploitable move and forces switches and set-up opportunity for Scoli without Mementoing too soon.
Cancerpede (Scolipede) (M) @ Mental Herb
Ability: Speed Boost
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 20 Def / 240 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Iron Defense
- Baton Pass
- Protect
- Megahorn
This is Scolipede, the Cancer-Pass master. Fuck Smeargle, this guy is where it's at. Part one of the duo that originally inspired the spawning of this 'team', his job is to set up and pass; defensive set-up, none of that SD Pass bullshit, annoyingly over-bulky is where it's at. I don't need to talk too much for him (though I will anyway), he's pretty simple and universal.
Iron Defence, the primary purpose of Scoli. It lets him take more physical hits and in turn set up more Iron Defences and live long enough to get up more Speed Boosts. Iron Defence is passed to CroCune so he can pretty much make any physical hit look like a sneeze. Self explanatory, just a major flubba buff. Baton Pass is obvious, passing off the Iron Defence and Speed boosts to Cune or maybe Lop so they can murk an opposing team like nothing else, pretty much sums it up really. Though, for the incredibly skilled players such as myself (you can tell I'm pro because I'm running this team) it can also be used for some good switch-initiative and baiting, if Scoli's sent out without the aid of Memento and/or a threat to Scoli, and the team as a whole, is still around then it's pretty obvious they'll bring it in, I can BP directly into Cune to handle the baited out Lando or Talonflame nicely and grab momentum, or maybe into Goth if they send out a wall in anticipation of the inevitable set-up and passing, just generally helps with my match-ups. Protect is for Speed Boosts and nothing else really. Seriously, I can't even pull out any more useless drivel to make me look smarter about this thing, Protect is for Speed Boosts and that's it. Megahorn is my only attack, while I do have Mental Herb to save me from being Taunt bait I don't want Scoli to be a complete sitting duck and fight back whenever necessary, I don't like any mon without at least one attack.
Mental Herb is, as mentioned, to spare me from Taunt and let me freely set up and pass away unhindered. The EV spread allows Scoli to outspeed base 110s with the rest piled into HP and Def for additional bulk which is necessary for set-up.
Other options include Sub which is also cool to pass over and makes Cune and Lop even more annoying, it's an option over Protect. Swords Dance is an option too specifically for Lop to sweep or for Scoli himself to get a few good hits in. Sash to live any one hit or Black Sludge for sustainability are also possible, though that really would allow Taunt easy access to fuck up your whole strategy.
Drowned Puppy (Suicune) @ Leftovers
Ability: Pressure
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 252 Def / 8 SpD
Bold Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Scald
- Calm Mind
- Rest
- Sleep Talk
CroCune with Iron Defence boosts. I can feel the tumours in me already. Contrary to initial belief, Iron Defence recipient CroCune is in no way different from regular CroCune, I still need to maintain this set for the situations when shit hits the fan and I can't get da boosts off, I don't want my team hinging entirely on the possibility of getting some Iron Defences off, I'd like a fighting chance outside of that as well even though it might be a tad less EV efficient.
Scald is my one and only attack, doesn't need to be a more powerful move since I plan on CMing up anyway, and a chance to Burn for more damage and ability to tank physical hits is always good. It's accurate, it's STAB, it'll ideally be boosted, hax possibility for more cancer, it's just always the STAB of choice. Calm Mind boosts my offensive and defensive potential, boosting his SpD to make him fat as fuck on both the special and physical side, and boosting his SpA too to allow him to gwt a nice clean sweep further aided by the speed boosts and his inability to die. Fat as all Hell, fast and powerful, it's pretty revolting to behold, really. Rest heals him up and cures any status ailment that may befall him to try and hinder his longevity and further reinforces his near immortality. Basically, it keeps him alive and well no matter what's wearing him down which is vital when working with something you intend to kill and not be killed. Sleep Talk keeps him from being a sitting duck while he takes a nap, you can't have your Water Doge slack too much, you need to keep it in line, make sure he does his job even in his sleep, setting up more CMs and Scalding shit, sometimes trying to Rest again, nobody's perfect, I guess.
The EV spread is self-explanatory, since you're buffing your SpD with CM, you need to focus investment on the physical defences, so Bold max HP max Def should cover it. This spread also comes in handy against birdspam which is a major threat to this team. Leftovers gives me more longevity which is required on this set as passive recovery does go a long way in terms of letting me set up and get Rests off before dying.
Other options include... Nothing, really. What can you edit about a CroCune? The EV spread maybe to be more accommodating of Iron Defence so you don't have to max out your defensive EVS, possibly? Though that would limit your ability to switch into birdspam unboosted so I wouldn't bank on that, but if you really want...
Amber (Lopunny) (F) @ Lopunnite
Ability: Limber
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 Def / 252 Spe
Jolly Nature
- High Jump Kick
- Return
- Fake Out
- Fire Punch
I fucking hate Lop. She's sexy as fuck, don't get me wrong, but she's a bitch. She's the kind of bitch who'd cheat on you and just say you got a small dick and you have tomorrow to pack up and move out after you find out. Lop is just the killer of dreams, and teams. With her speed and power, she can effectively clean up the smoking mess that your sad sack of shit of an opponent once called a team, though she can easily come in at other times to Fake Out, kill a Bish, or plain punch a big hole.
I decided to run all-out attacker Bunny since her job pretty much involved just picking things off so there's no reason to bother with Sub/Encore PuP shenanigans and whatnot, just keep it simple. This starts with HJK which lets me demolish shit like Bish and Chansey and really hit anything that doesn't resist pretty hard. Drain Punch should never be used outside of Sub PuP, this raw power is where it's at. Sure, you run the risk of missing, but if you're running this team then you probably deserve it, let's be honest. Return is secondary STAB, hitting whatever resists HJK for neutral damage, barring the oh-so common Shedinja, makes Lop hard as Hell to switch into and also aids it in cleaning up, on few occasions does a Lop have to worry about not doing enough damage. Fake Out is occasional priority which is good for Sash breaking, anti-lead action, and helps revenge some more speedy or threatening foes. Very spammable and fun to use. Lastly, Fire Punch is there to fend off Ferro and Scizor who are both horrendously annoying for this team. Sciz in particular I have no coverage for barring this one move and I'd rely solely on a Burn from Cune, but you can't just rely on hax, you need to play and build with real skill. ...Couldn't say that with a straight face.
Set's standard, hit hard and fast. Limber lets her skip any Para pre-Mega which is nice for many reasons, max speed and Atk Jolly to abuse her insanely high speed and still hit like a truck. Lopunnite I'm sure you didn't see coming, it allows her to evolve megaly which is pretty nice, regular Lop is a tad outclassed in OU.
Other options include maybe PuP over Fire Punch if you feel it's redundant coverage and you'd rather get the boost to help clean up, though I think Fire Punch has its uses with Scizor, Celebi and such zipping around all over the fucking place. Ice Punch is also an additional coverage option for Landos, Gliscors, Lati@s and other Dragons and such.
So yeah, hopefully you lived through this RMT, it would be quite rude if you didn't, if you're going to check out an RMT then you read the fuck through it and die of AIDS later. Anyway, fun gimmicky piece of shit team, I certainly find it fun and that's really all that matters. Anyone wanting to use this team, it has most success when Pokemon stick to their set roles and generally the order in which you see the team in here is the order in which they'll come out, some occasions differing depending on match-up but don't deviate too far from the central strategy. Don't be too impatient and sac-happy either, I know the point is to send stuff out to die so you can bring in the next thing, namely get to BPing to Cune, but don't; every mon's role is important, not just Cune, so use them to their best instead of saccing them prematurely. Fun gimmicky team, give it a go if you feel like being a shit human and have everyone hate you. Seriously, the team is all shinys so you know means business.
Artistic Masterpiece by me, btw
YAY!
WTF BOOM! (Azelf) @ Focus Sash
Ability: Levitate
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 Def / 252 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Stealth Rock
- Skill Swap
- Taunt
- Explosion
Generic suicide lead Azelf. This little exploding taily pixie thing sets into motion a chain of events leading to the inevitable rape and contraction of AIDS by my opponent. As I mentioned before, I had considered other options for this role, I'll get to them in other options at the end, but in the end settled with being halfway generic with this standard suicide lead as it held more utility that can help me fulfil the purpose of this team overall. Set up Rocks and explode so I can grab momentum is the name of the game, but completely dicking with an opponent is always fun too.
Stealth Rocks are the most basic thing on this thing, it's what it's here for. The obvious hazard of choice, lets me threaten Talonflame and Zard-Y who both have potential to bone me over if I'm not playing as well as I could. Helping to wear opposing teams down in general helps out massively too; it puts less pressure on Whimsi to wear shit down, less pressure on Cune to set up more CMs to break through things, and makes it easier for Lop to clean up. While they're not vital to the success of this team and it's really not that big a deal if they're cleared for the most part, you're better off with them than without. Skill Swap was a little something I found on an old team by Ox the Box a while back. The one he used to get to No1 on the ladder. No, not that one, the other one. Yeah, that one. Basically, it dicks around with those Mega Diancie and Mega Shiny-eyeballs leads that try to bounce my Rocks back and keeps them from being obstacles for Whimsi when she's off spamming Leech Seed. I have no Earthquake users on this team, shocker since I'm an advocate of the ideology that every team should have a powerful EQ spammer, so giving something Levitate isn't a problem as long as I make it more useless. Taunt was kept over Fire Blast because Goth can effectively handle those fucking Ferros easily enough after Azelf's exploded, but keeping Rocks at bay, preventing early set-up, holding off a wall from spamming recovery so Goth has an easier time, etc, is much more helpful. Lastly, Explosion gets the ball really rolling. Mandatory on most Azelfs, it pretty much forces a wall out to take the blast, or a Gengar but whatever, which makes it easy pickings for Goth who gets a safe switch in next turn, and if they don't send out their wall then something's getting a bollocking with a heavy hit. It caters towards letting me pick things up no matter what the situation, really.
EV spread is simple, get Rocks up quickly and hit hard. Without Fire Blast there's really no need to detract from Exploding power by slapping EVs anywhere but Atk. Sash is there to live any one hit anyway and is generally lets me get Rocks up against anything barring Mega Lop with a Fake Out Return combo.
I've mentioned Fire Blast before, but I guess I really should slap it as another option due to how standard it is. That's really the only other option to suggest honestly.
Life is Pain (Gothitelle) (F) @ Choice Scarf
Ability: Shadow Tag
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Psychic
- Trick
- Torment
- Protect
This is where the shit really starts to stink. This fucking thing is the most revolting abomination I've ever had the misfortune of witnessing in my entire time as a competitive Pokemon flunkie. It abuses the already uncompetitive ability of Shadow Tag in conjunction with Choice Trick to its absolute limits, very effectively removing any wall dragged out in fear of Explosion before and helping me crack through opposing teams easier from the start. Also a good answer to Mega Lops who lead off to remove Azelf, though do note that Lop does outspeed even a Scarfed Goth iirc.
Psychic is my one form of attack, nice and STAB. It may be questionable to run one single attack which another type is immune to, but since the purpose of Goth is to eliminate a wall I doubt I'll be having troubles unless someone's ballsy enough to pack an Umbreon in OU. Trick is obvious, it gives a trapped wall my incredibly fashionable Scarf and locks them into a single move, making it effectively useless due to walls relying on switching between attacks and recovery to be effective or else they can't wear something down well enough or they get worn down easily themselves, limiting their moves is step one to brutal punishment (this can also be aided by Taunt from Azelf before). Torment limits their moves even more, forcing them to Struggle every other turn to wear them down quickly with the recoil, hopefully this is done in conjunction with Azelf's Taunt so they're locked into an attack, if they're locked into recovery then this might just be redundant and you'd just end up being stalled out. Protect also works on the basis of making sure they're forced into an attack, it partners with Torment in the way that on each turn they're not stuck Struggling I can Protect from their attacks so I guarantee that the wall dies before I do. This is a set that works very well with this team as a whole and all the moves have good chemistry. It's just... Vile.
Scarf was chosen to allow me to outspeed Gengar switch-ins to Azelf to avoid the Explosion, I get a safe switch-in and OHKO with Psychic, nice 'n' simple. The set is standard Scarf EVs, max speed to outspeed and max SpA for damage output; while Goth isn't really designed for much more than coming out after Azelf explodes to remove a wall and die, her usefulness as a revenger isn't one to completely overlook as some speedy offensive support, while pretty passive because, well, it's a Goth, can be nice.
Other options include Psyshock over psychic. Toe-may-toe/toe-mah-toe, your choice whichever. Specs over Scarf to get the KO on Mega Lop, though that would leave you outsped by Gengar and Scarfed Goth can still bring Lop down to easy revenge range. Also, you don't want to trick a special attacking Wall a Specs. Taunt is an option too to be a bit more solid against recovery on walls in case you can't get a Taunt off with Azelf before, it's a good contingency, although it would leave you more open to being worn down by attacks.
The Goat (Whimsicott) (F) @ Leftovers
Ability: Prankster
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 44 SpA / 216 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Substitute
- Leech Seed
- Giga Drain
- Memento
This voodoo popcorn looking thing is one of the most fun discoveries I've stumbled across. It's quite an advantage being the fastest Prankster abuser out there, and a very fun one. Basically she trolls with Sub and Leech Seed to stay alive for longer than any opponent would want and wear them down nicely. Once her usefulness has been served and she can no longer set up Subs or whatever then she Mementos for an easy switch for Scoli to let him start setting up. Easily the funnest thing to use on this team.
Sub is what makes her so annoying, Prankster Sub to control her damage with her HP constantly restored by Leftovers, Leech Seed and Giga Drain to wind back the recoil makes her very very tough to break through and lets her wear things down for quite some time as she just refuses to die. Leech Seed aids her in her quest for eternal life by stealing the opponent's slowly. It rolls back on he Sub recoil and helps me stall out an opponent and force swiches should they fail to break through me and their health gets too low, which is the idea, force them to go through their team to try and pop my cotton bud and in the mean time I feed off all their happiness and joy so I can wipe them out later. Giga Drain keeps me from being Taunt bait, I needed some kind of attack or else I'd be falling short. Giga Drain is the obvious choice, it lets me recover even more HP by stealing it from my opponent, and you know what that means, right? More Subs! Yay! Kind of a necessity. Lastly, Memento comes at the end of her life cycle, when her HP is too low to set up Subs and she can't take another hit, when her PP is low or when I'm just plain bored, Memento comes and kills my opponent's offensive potential dead, ample opportunity to get Scoli in and setting up. Just don't use it against a Bisharp though, but then again why would you bring Whimsi out if Bish is still around?
The HP is for sustainability and sturdier Subs and the speed investment outspeeds Thundurus so I don't have to deal with his Prankster bullshit, I'm not using a Whimsi so I can be out-Prankstered. The remaining EVs go into SpA because why not? Extra boost to my Gigas never hurt, unless you're my opponent Leftovers is obviously additional recovery for Sub recoil and sustainability.
Other options include Tailwind, possibly over Giga Drain to help you outspeed Scarfers and Mega Lop with the rest of your team, as well as let you run a bulkier nature and/or EV spread while still outspeeding Thundurus, though ensuring your Tailwind stays up makes you predictable in a way your opponent can exploit more easily and you could be losing Scoli's easiest set-up opportunity setter if you play wrong. Encore is also a good option to take advantage of of an opponent using an exploitable move and forces switches and set-up opportunity for Scoli without Mementoing too soon.
Cancerpede (Scolipede) (M) @ Mental Herb
Ability: Speed Boost
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 20 Def / 240 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Iron Defense
- Baton Pass
- Protect
- Megahorn
This is Scolipede, the Cancer-Pass master. Fuck Smeargle, this guy is where it's at. Part one of the duo that originally inspired the spawning of this 'team', his job is to set up and pass; defensive set-up, none of that SD Pass bullshit, annoyingly over-bulky is where it's at. I don't need to talk too much for him (though I will anyway), he's pretty simple and universal.
Iron Defence, the primary purpose of Scoli. It lets him take more physical hits and in turn set up more Iron Defences and live long enough to get up more Speed Boosts. Iron Defence is passed to CroCune so he can pretty much make any physical hit look like a sneeze. Self explanatory, just a major flubba buff. Baton Pass is obvious, passing off the Iron Defence and Speed boosts to Cune or maybe Lop so they can murk an opposing team like nothing else, pretty much sums it up really. Though, for the incredibly skilled players such as myself (you can tell I'm pro because I'm running this team) it can also be used for some good switch-initiative and baiting, if Scoli's sent out without the aid of Memento and/or a threat to Scoli, and the team as a whole, is still around then it's pretty obvious they'll bring it in, I can BP directly into Cune to handle the baited out Lando or Talonflame nicely and grab momentum, or maybe into Goth if they send out a wall in anticipation of the inevitable set-up and passing, just generally helps with my match-ups. Protect is for Speed Boosts and nothing else really. Seriously, I can't even pull out any more useless drivel to make me look smarter about this thing, Protect is for Speed Boosts and that's it. Megahorn is my only attack, while I do have Mental Herb to save me from being Taunt bait I don't want Scoli to be a complete sitting duck and fight back whenever necessary, I don't like any mon without at least one attack.
Mental Herb is, as mentioned, to spare me from Taunt and let me freely set up and pass away unhindered. The EV spread allows Scoli to outspeed base 110s with the rest piled into HP and Def for additional bulk which is necessary for set-up.
Other options include Sub which is also cool to pass over and makes Cune and Lop even more annoying, it's an option over Protect. Swords Dance is an option too specifically for Lop to sweep or for Scoli himself to get a few good hits in. Sash to live any one hit or Black Sludge for sustainability are also possible, though that really would allow Taunt easy access to fuck up your whole strategy.
Drowned Puppy (Suicune) @ Leftovers
Ability: Pressure
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 252 Def / 8 SpD
Bold Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Scald
- Calm Mind
- Rest
- Sleep Talk
CroCune with Iron Defence boosts. I can feel the tumours in me already. Contrary to initial belief, Iron Defence recipient CroCune is in no way different from regular CroCune, I still need to maintain this set for the situations when shit hits the fan and I can't get da boosts off, I don't want my team hinging entirely on the possibility of getting some Iron Defences off, I'd like a fighting chance outside of that as well even though it might be a tad less EV efficient.
Scald is my one and only attack, doesn't need to be a more powerful move since I plan on CMing up anyway, and a chance to Burn for more damage and ability to tank physical hits is always good. It's accurate, it's STAB, it'll ideally be boosted, hax possibility for more cancer, it's just always the STAB of choice. Calm Mind boosts my offensive and defensive potential, boosting his SpD to make him fat as fuck on both the special and physical side, and boosting his SpA too to allow him to gwt a nice clean sweep further aided by the speed boosts and his inability to die. Fat as all Hell, fast and powerful, it's pretty revolting to behold, really. Rest heals him up and cures any status ailment that may befall him to try and hinder his longevity and further reinforces his near immortality. Basically, it keeps him alive and well no matter what's wearing him down which is vital when working with something you intend to kill and not be killed. Sleep Talk keeps him from being a sitting duck while he takes a nap, you can't have your Water Doge slack too much, you need to keep it in line, make sure he does his job even in his sleep, setting up more CMs and Scalding shit, sometimes trying to Rest again, nobody's perfect, I guess.
The EV spread is self-explanatory, since you're buffing your SpD with CM, you need to focus investment on the physical defences, so Bold max HP max Def should cover it. This spread also comes in handy against birdspam which is a major threat to this team. Leftovers gives me more longevity which is required on this set as passive recovery does go a long way in terms of letting me set up and get Rests off before dying.
Other options include... Nothing, really. What can you edit about a CroCune? The EV spread maybe to be more accommodating of Iron Defence so you don't have to max out your defensive EVS, possibly? Though that would limit your ability to switch into birdspam unboosted so I wouldn't bank on that, but if you really want...
Amber (Lopunny) (F) @ Lopunnite
Ability: Limber
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 Def / 252 Spe
Jolly Nature
- High Jump Kick
- Return
- Fake Out
- Fire Punch
I fucking hate Lop. She's sexy as fuck, don't get me wrong, but she's a bitch. She's the kind of bitch who'd cheat on you and just say you got a small dick and you have tomorrow to pack up and move out after you find out. Lop is just the killer of dreams, and teams. With her speed and power, she can effectively clean up the smoking mess that your sad sack of shit of an opponent once called a team, though she can easily come in at other times to Fake Out, kill a Bish, or plain punch a big hole.
I decided to run all-out attacker Bunny since her job pretty much involved just picking things off so there's no reason to bother with Sub/Encore PuP shenanigans and whatnot, just keep it simple. This starts with HJK which lets me demolish shit like Bish and Chansey and really hit anything that doesn't resist pretty hard. Drain Punch should never be used outside of Sub PuP, this raw power is where it's at. Sure, you run the risk of missing, but if you're running this team then you probably deserve it, let's be honest. Return is secondary STAB, hitting whatever resists HJK for neutral damage, barring the oh-so common Shedinja, makes Lop hard as Hell to switch into and also aids it in cleaning up, on few occasions does a Lop have to worry about not doing enough damage. Fake Out is occasional priority which is good for Sash breaking, anti-lead action, and helps revenge some more speedy or threatening foes. Very spammable and fun to use. Lastly, Fire Punch is there to fend off Ferro and Scizor who are both horrendously annoying for this team. Sciz in particular I have no coverage for barring this one move and I'd rely solely on a Burn from Cune, but you can't just rely on hax, you need to play and build with real skill. ...Couldn't say that with a straight face.
Set's standard, hit hard and fast. Limber lets her skip any Para pre-Mega which is nice for many reasons, max speed and Atk Jolly to abuse her insanely high speed and still hit like a truck. Lopunnite I'm sure you didn't see coming, it allows her to evolve megaly which is pretty nice, regular Lop is a tad outclassed in OU.
Other options include maybe PuP over Fire Punch if you feel it's redundant coverage and you'd rather get the boost to help clean up, though I think Fire Punch has its uses with Scizor, Celebi and such zipping around all over the fucking place. Ice Punch is also an additional coverage option for Landos, Gliscors, Lati@s and other Dragons and such.
Azelf @ Focus Sash
Ability: Levitate
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 Def / 252 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Stealth Rock
- Skill Swap
- Taunt
- Explosion
Gothitelle @ Choice Scarf
Ability: Shadow Tag
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Trick
- Psychic
- Torment
- Protect
Whimsicott @ Leftovers
Ability: Prankster
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 44 SpA / 216 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Substitute
- Leech Seed
- Giga Drain
- Memento
Scolipede @ Mental Herb
Ability: Speed Boost
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 20 Def / 240 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Iron Defense
- Baton Pass
- Protect
- Megahorn
Suicune @ Leftovers
Ability: Pressure
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 252 Def / 8 SpD
Bold Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Scald
- Calm Mind
- Rest
- Sleep Talk
Lopunny (F) @ Lopunnite
Ability: Limber
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 Def / 252 Spe
Jolly Nature
- High Jump Kick
- Return
- Fake Out
- Fire Punch
Ability: Levitate
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 Def / 252 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Stealth Rock
- Skill Swap
- Taunt
- Explosion
Gothitelle @ Choice Scarf
Ability: Shadow Tag
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Trick
- Psychic
- Torment
- Protect
Whimsicott @ Leftovers
Ability: Prankster
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 44 SpA / 216 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Substitute
- Leech Seed
- Giga Drain
- Memento
Scolipede @ Mental Herb
Ability: Speed Boost
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 20 Def / 240 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Iron Defense
- Baton Pass
- Protect
- Megahorn
Suicune @ Leftovers
Ability: Pressure
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 252 Def / 8 SpD
Bold Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Scald
- Calm Mind
- Rest
- Sleep Talk
Lopunny (F) @ Lopunnite
Ability: Limber
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 Def / 252 Spe
Jolly Nature
- High Jump Kick
- Return
- Fake Out
- Fire Punch
Generally any other variant of this team would be something that tries to patch up any irritation this one has, so if you find your AIDS is too easily treatable with concentrated doses of Birdspam and Megagross then you could always try more shit like Explosion lead Lando-T, Mega CroBro and Raikou (probably AV to make it a better Iron Defence recipient and take on Zard Y better), though this would leave you out of priority and make your lead more susceptible to Magic Bouncers, namely Mega Shiny-Eyeballs who will be more annoying without Lop support. Still, it's a choice.
Landorus-Therian (M) @ Normal Gem
Ability: Intimidate
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 168 HP / 252 Atk / 88 Spe
Adamant Nature
- Earthquake
- Explosion
- Stone Edge
- Stealth Rock
Gothitelle @ Choice Scarf
Ability: Shadow Tag
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Trick
- Psychic
- Torment
- Protect
Whimsicott @ Leftovers
Ability: Prankster
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 44 SpA / 216 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Substitute
- Leech Seed
- Giga Drain
- Memento
Scolipede @ Mental Herb
Ability: Speed Boost
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 20 Def / 240 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Iron Defense
- Baton Pass
- Protect
- Megahorn
Slowbro @ Slowbronite
Ability: Regenerator
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 252 Def / 8 SpD
Bold Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Scald
- Calm Mind
- Rest
- Sleep Talk
Raikou @ Assault Vest
Ability: Pressure
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk / 30 Def
- Thunderbolt
- Volt Switch
- Hidden Power [Ice]
- Shadow Ball
Ability: Intimidate
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 168 HP / 252 Atk / 88 Spe
Adamant Nature
- Earthquake
- Explosion
- Stone Edge
- Stealth Rock
Gothitelle @ Choice Scarf
Ability: Shadow Tag
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Trick
- Psychic
- Torment
- Protect
Whimsicott @ Leftovers
Ability: Prankster
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 44 SpA / 216 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Substitute
- Leech Seed
- Giga Drain
- Memento
Scolipede @ Mental Herb
Ability: Speed Boost
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 20 Def / 240 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Iron Defense
- Baton Pass
- Protect
- Megahorn
Slowbro @ Slowbronite
Ability: Regenerator
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 248 HP / 252 Def / 8 SpD
Bold Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Scald
- Calm Mind
- Rest
- Sleep Talk
Raikou @ Assault Vest
Ability: Pressure
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk / 30 Def
- Thunderbolt
- Volt Switch
- Hidden Power [Ice]
- Shadow Ball
Fuck Breloom.
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