hi, not sure where to post this..

[az]

ok, so this could be a weird one

hear me out..

lately, idk about you, but something about smogon has been feeling... a little off

i've asked around some, but cookie insists i'm barking up the wrong tree, and ivy thinks i'm a creeper

i had no choice but to investigate this odd sensation myself

and...

i think i'm onto something

something really big

as we ALL know, secret societies hide in plain sight, all around us

this is why i was certain that the answers to my nagging questions would be in the pageantry of smogon itself

let's think about the name smogon for a second... it doesn't really make any sense, does it? an english-speaking pokemon website named after a german translation of a pokemon... and that's when it hit me

obviously, smogon is an anagram for "go noms". remember, this is way back in 2004. it was probably at least somewhat acceptable to say "noms" on the internet. this is a sentiment targeted at keeping the userbase well-fed and sedentary, maximising user retention — that's clear to anyone. pedestrian stuff, so far

but what other secrets does this ancient labyrinth hold?

i found myself rapt, unable to keep from pulling at the thread

what subliminal messages were secreted in the social forums, where your average user is most susceptible to them?

CONGREGATION OF THE MASSES = SMOGON FEARS ACE HOSTING

now it was clear to me

smogon undeniably harbours a secret whistleblower within its elite, dripfeeding hints about the true nature of the site out. it would take a user of rabid intelligence to unravel this case — it's lucky i'm here

i couldn't help but feel like there might be more to this one, so i dug deeper

SMOGON FEARS ACE HOSTING = CHAOS EAT FESTERING SMOGON

the truth was undeniable

this missive from the inside paints the picture of a dystopia in its final days, where all things decay, and the only inevitability is atrophy

we can't stand idly by — true patriots of smogon have been called to stand up and uncover the TRUTH!!!

my resolved steeled, i continued my noble search

what of smogon metagames?

reviled by preteens the world over for their iron grip on how WE!!! the FREE PEOPLE!!! can play OUR GAME!! i turned my sights to this dreaded forum...

SMOGON METAGAMES = MENAGE A TOM SMOGS

this was like a lightning strike. who is the mysterious Tom Smogs? and what is the meaning behind this vaguely risque statement that would be so core to the future of smogon.com?

MENAGE A TOM SMOGS = MAGNATES MOMS EGO

the ouija board of destiny continued to unravel the conspiracy before my very eyes. a magnate's mom's ego, and a menage-a-tom smogs?

the fog began to clear

Tom Smogs is obviously the multibillionaire shadow owner of smogon.com corporation inc. this explains the name. everything is falling into place. but what of his mother's ego? does the Smogs family matriarch truly pull the strings behind the shadows, like some sinister web admin puppet-mistress?

i felt time was short — it was only a matter of time until the spectral forces of the administration detected my investigation and descended on my account

i had no choice but to go for the beating heart of smogon.com: inside scoop, the lions' den, where the elite made and unmade posters — nay, entire forums — on a whim

INSIDE SCOOP = COIN DISPOSE

i see. behind the veneer of wealth and glamour, the elite are haemorrhaging wealth. but why? what had caused this disaster from within?

COIN DISPOSE = DECISIONS OP

yes.. truly the crown weighs heavy. decisions were too powerful to be made within the forum, and the ruling class were at loggerheads, stagnating atop their thrones encrusted with badges, rotating like the doors for so many sycophantic figureheads

with the upper echelons immobilised, i knew that the only hope of freedom lay in the hands of the everyman. i scurried from inside scoop to the forum that best embodied the principle of meritocracy — rate my team

RATE MY TEAM = MEET AT ARMY

this was as clear a call to action as any i'd seen. the secretive smogonanon whistleblower was already ahead of me, uniting the hoi polloi. but the instructions were unclear. "meet at army"? where? whose army?

MEET AT ARMY = ME TRY A TEAM

i didn't need any more signposting

right away i descended into rate my team, and searched the forum for "ARMY", in the hope of specifics

i wasn't disappointed

user ransei's thread clarified — "the royal army"

THE ROYAL ARMY = ROYALTY HAREM

another piece of the puzzle as it relates to "MENAGE-A-TOM SMOGS", and his egotistical mother, but i knew there was more

ROYALTY HAREM = RELY MAYOR HAT

i felt as though the trail had suddenly run cold

searches within smogon.com for "RELY MAYOR HAT" yielded little of interest. i began to despair

surely smogonanon would not abandon us here? was i too late? had the trail begun to burn up, like a trail of gunpowder, before i could follow it to its explosive conclusion?

in desperation, i navigated to other pokemon websites, and began to scour them for mention of this elusive "mayor"

and i began to notice something...

are you with me yet?

still nothing?

that's right. nothing

none of these mayors have hats — a symbol of their position, almost. like a crown

and so it dawned on me

a secretive insider on smogon.com has been leaking hints that the smogon empire is shedding money due to an internal power struggle brought on by the owner, billionaire playboy magnate and CEO Tom Smogs' refusal to settle down and produce a male heir, at the behest of his controlling mother, leaving the global megaconglom potentially without a leader. with the future of smogon.com's holding company uncertain, our days are numbered

we must rise up and expose the true extent of this scandal

what else can you discover about our absent king billionaire tom smogs, and his legacy?

help get the word out, before it's too late

 

[earl]

lately, idk about you, but something about smogon has been feeling... a little off

Thought this was gonna be an extended smogoff joke tbh

 

[Ununhexium]

what drugs do you do like recreationally

 

[Mace]

sorry az you might not know this but zoomers these days dont have the attention to read something this long. We looked through the pages and read an excerpt or 2. You better update your posting style otherwise you'll end up like Gar Glon.

 

[LordThemberchaud]

Is this supposed to be a joke,or are you serious?

 

[mf]

the deep state --nipples protruding-- is deleting all serious engagement with this thread. praying for an update soon. my family think im crazy and have stopped talking to me but they have not done this level of Research

 

[faint]

Is this supposed to be a joke,or are you serious?

seemed pretty cut and dry to me. what about the OP do you not understand? there's plenty of research provided

 

[mf]

smogonanon please send us a sign. some kind of message

 

[faint]

smogonanon please send us a sign. some kind of message

are you using a router guard? my dad and i recently purchased something like this https://www.amazon.com/WiFi-Router-Guard-Large-Blocks/dp/B01IJD22YG (note: i am only linking to amazon b/c i am currently on the clearnet... you know where to find the real ones). anyway, the device has been great. our wifi signal has been very clean since we installed it and we're getting all messages from Q (as long as we are within 10 feet of the router). even with this we are still trying to limit the time spent in our router room. lots of information about EMF destroying your cells on you know what. anyway, nice chatting to you. dad needs to hop on the computer so hopefully we can chat on the bbs later.

 

[az]

Is this supposed to be a joke,or are you serious?

i'm dead serious, buckster. what's coming is HUGE and it's going to change everything./ Believe Me.

what drugs do you do like recreationally

if incisive high quality journalism (the kind you WON'T get from the M.S.M.!!) is a drug then you can call me an addict

sorry az you might not know this but zoomers these days dont have the attention to read something this long. We looked through the pages and read an excerpt or 2. You better update your posting style otherwise you'll end up like Gar Glon.

TYVM for your reply, Mace

i had some input from my study group about including more bright and colourful images, but i suspect this coddling of younger users is actually playing right into the hands of the rich and powerful. sorry, but sometimes when you speak truth to power it has to be in refined essay format.... just like this

smogonanon please send us a sign. some kind of message

are you using a router guard? my dad and i recently purchased something like this https://www.amazon.com/WiFi-Router-Guard-Large-Blocks/dp/B01IJD22YG (note: i am only linking to amazon b/c i am currently on the clearnet... you know where to find the real ones). anyway, the device has been great. our wifi signal has been very clean since we installed it and we're getting all messages from Q (as long as we are within 10 feet of the router). even with this we are still trying to limit the time spent in our router room. lots of information about EMF destroying your cells on you know what. anyway, nice chatting to you. dad needs to hop on the computer so hopefully we can chat on the bbs later.

great tips here. while deeptrawling the scmsnet ive also uncovered something you WON'T believe about so called "spare" EVs... but can't say much more right now... the signals are crazy tonight, folks

keep a weather eye for His sign

the truth is out there

 

[xzern]

is the smogon corporation attempting to instill an athiest, communist, hivemind world order?

smogon = no go(d)s + m

 

[az]

is the smogon corporation attempting to instill an athiest, communist, hivemind world order?

smogon = no go(d)s + m

no gods, or kings...

only mon

 

[earl]

S sent me

 

[az]

the deep state --nipples protruding-- is deleting all serious engagement with this thread. praying for an update soon. my family think im crazy and have stopped talking to me but they have not done this level of Research

i can see your post has already been compromised, so i won't go into too much detail, but yes, i can confirm that the op had over HUNDREDS of likes and loves, and theyve just vanished...

 

[phoopes]

with all these letter scrambles no one is talking about this:

az = za

PIZZAGATE HAS COME TO SMOGON

 

[zorbees]

perhaps CHAOS EAT FESTERING SMOGON refers to the feud between chaos and Tom Smog over control of the site. It seems clear to me that chaos doesn't want to give Smogon over to Tom Smog, and would rather eat the website to ensure that nobody can control it.

 

[az]

great to see other users carrying the torch on this one, thank you so much guys

as an aside, i've been having trouble editing my posts

has anyone else noticed the f̸o̸r̵u̶m̴s̴ acting strangely at all?

it looked liḳ̶̨̡̥͇̼͓̤̳̖͇͎͇͍̪̭͈̬̘͉̦̤͙̝̯͕̦̗̠̦̣̫͖̺͍͋̑͒́̏̂͐̋͋̉̑̎͋̂̔͌́̿̾̀͆̔̔̓͘͝ę̶̧̢̢̧͙̮̫̫̩̟̪̗̞̩̯͚̯̗͍̯̮̱̥͉̥̼͈̺̲̼̭͖͉͓̻̺̥͕̠̩̂̈̍͑̃́̂̽̒̾̾̑͒͌͗͆͋̇̀͑̃͛̌́̎̀̒͋̕̚̕̚͜ ̵̨̛̛̤͕̮̭͉̱̼̻̦̯͔̤̣͕̺̗̫͈̌̓̋̈́͗̈́͌͋̾̏̐̔͊̄̔̃͑̑̀̀̌̓̾̐͌̏̑̐̓͐̆̊͘̚͜͜͝͝͝n̶̨̧̛̹͕̙̭͕͎͇̜͓̼̎̎̓̀̈́̍͌̊̾͑͗̎̾̋͌͛̔̈́̽̀̓̽̚̕̕͠͝ͅo̸̢̘͕̲͈͚͈̫̬̞̲̜̞͕̝̗̬̝̱͍͎͔͉̦̳̥͚͒̊̔̃̓͛̈͋̆̔̋̔̄́͐͑͐̐̔̊̄̈́̀͐͒́̿̕̕͘͘͠͝͠͝͝͠n̷̢̧̨̨̜̳̮͉̲̻̬͙̝̬̪̤̖͎͈̤͓̣̣̪͚̹̭̟̹̫̝̮͖̦̤̋̿̍̊̋̃͑̍́̆́͒͒͗̂̇̊͗̀̂̊͛̀̽̀͐͆̋̓̅͗͊̓̽͜͝ȩ̵̧̧̨̢̹̙͖̘̰͙͈̺̮̭̥̠͈̥͓͖̦̙̹̝͔͕̅̆̋̀̐́͊̌̆͊͆̓̅̍̍̀́̆͌̔̋̕̕͜͝͝ ̶̡̮̳̜͕̺͉̼̯̖̞̩̹̹͔̥̻͉̯̘̽͆̈̂̋̇͒̔̑̕̚͝͠o̶̼̠̤̫͈͈͔͈̞͕̱̮͉̙̤͖͓̗͐̀͋͐͐̚f̷̡̢̨̝̘̼͙̠͔̟̯̯̫̼͔̮̥͈͓͈͙̲͔̠̥̠͕̠̻͙̱͈̣̪̒̐͂̑͌͋̓͘͜͝͝͠ͅͅ ̷̛̫͚̜̗̐͑̿̇̀́̔͐̑̔̂̓̇̒̀͌́̈́̉̅̎̑̇͑̿̂̐̑̈́͑̈́̾͘͜͝͝͝͠t̷̢̡̛̥̺̠̤̻͍̬͕̟͙̣̬̺̦͖̥̝͇̜̭̝̭̻̲̙͕̣̼͉̗͚̱̤̠̖͕̙͚̞̒́͛̏̒̀͑́̔́̂͋̏̋̒̈̂̆̈̈́̾̑̇͛͗̓́̇̕͠͝͝͠h̸̨̧̛̟͖̬̯̹̘̠̜̘̱͖͚̥̘̬̞̥͔̪̖̠̺͇̰̞̑̌̐͆͋̓͆͗̋͐͊́̍͝͠͝ͅͅë̵̫̪͓́̍͌̓̚̚͘ ̵̨̡̨̛̗̩̻͚̳̙̦̣͎̝̥̬̥͈̪̖̪̪͕̲͈̝̦̳̌̿͊̈́̀̎̓̾̀̇̉̓͗͌̈́̃̅̂̏́̏̐̆̾̍̽̿̽̓̎̿̕̚͘͜͝͠͝t̴̢̧͖̙̟͙̫̥͕̱͈̜͇̝͆̌͗̔̉̌̍̾̇̉̒͂̌͝͝è̶̢̢̡̢̡̨̝͕̼͕͔̥̮̫͉͖̘̬͉̰͇̲̘͈̺͚̼̭͇̬̲̜̲̹͎̠͌̋̓͒̅͑̅͑͂̆͒̚̕͜͜͝͝ͅx̵̧̡̙͈̳̥̮̹̟̺͔͎͕̠̰͔̯̣͙̰͉̻͚̬͇͉͊͒̈́̐͒̃͋̐͊̈́͛̓̄̅́͋̚̕̚͘͜͝͝͠͝ͅͅt̵͈̩͍̬̼͔̬̥̼̥̣͙̮̽̓͋̾͗̂͗̊̍́͋͂̂̑̈́̔͜͝ͅ ̶̛͓̙̎̍̅̿̃̀̀́̈́͂̇͗̃̐̃̒̈́̂̈͑̓̋̓̃̍̕͘̚̚͝͠w̴̢̡̰͈̳̭̙͎̺̗̤̲̞̖͓̘̲̩̼͈͔̦̯̜̝͍͎̫̰̩̌̏̈́͂̈́̆͆̂̀͌͒̐̓͒̓͐͌̒̓͊̐̃̇̈́̅̌͋͘͠͠͝à̵̡̰̳̼̫̯͈̺̠̼̗̬̪̼̟̗̤́͝s̸̡̛̥͍͙̼̞͇͖̦̠̱̤͕͙͇̦̟̬͔͇͈͖̳͓̱͔̜̪͈̊̾̎͒̑̃̄̀̂͆̀̏̈́́̈́̽͒͆͗͋̐̌̀̆͌̀́͋̇̍̿̍͘̕͜͠͝ͅ 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[Bughouse]

I regret to inform everyone reading this that not even Smogoff is safe from the cabal az has uncovered. This forum is moderated by a truly sinister bunch.

COOKIE IVY PHOOPES AND SIJIH = SOY HIPPIE COO INVOKES JIHAD

obviously their transposition cipher has gotten more advanced, even incorporating intentional misspellings. Their technology is advancing and it may already be too late to stop their jihad!!

 

[Chemical_Jackfruit]

I have uncovered more of this secret reveal.
When az searched for mayor the first result was drayden the "spartan mayor" Spartans throw babys off cliffs so I have a theory that Tom smogs mother chucked his baby off a cliff because of her big ego

 

[BIG ASHLEY]

denizens of this website, i make this post with fear in my heart. though more obscure than those above, i have unraveled several more clues left by our mysterious whistleblower, uncovering some very dark truths. don't believe me? then read on....................

i decided to continue in a similar vein to the op of this thread, examining the names of subforums to see if any more would bear fruit. my search began in smogon's recruitment and brainwashing centre, battling 101. nothing about the name immediately raises any alarm bells, but what if we were to spell it out a little more clearly, as battling one oh one? this yields a number of phrases, most of which are seemingly complete nonsense, but one caught my eye: nonnegotiable hot. now, this may seem at first to be similarly meaningless, but something about it stuck in my mind as i continued on my intellectual travels.

continuing along my train of thought, i arrived at the station for orange islands, smogon's one-stop-shop for things that are pokemon, but not the way smogon likes it. where better to go than this most concentrated pocket of resistance to smogon's evil? additionally, the orange islands haven't appeared in the series since like the 80s or some shit - another attempt to draw attention, perhaps? why keep such a dated reference long after dumping dragonspiral tower and stark mountain? thirdly, "orange islands" sounds pretty tropical, which seemed like a logical step from "nonnegotiable hot".

anyway, after hours puzzling over the name's meaning, i finally deduced the clue left for us by smoganon - the name could be re-arranged to form the phrase: "signaled arson". this immediately set the alarm bells ringing - arson?!? that's a Bad Thing!!!the answer seems clear: tom smogs, or perhaps his egotistical mother, has been committing brazen acts of fire-setting, likely in an attempt to claim insurance money and restore some funds to the smogon coffers.

faced with this troubling discovery, i was enraged. needing to let off some steam, i took a trip to the battle stadium. unfortunately, i am a goat-tier battle spot fighter, so defeating the swarms of cartridge players who came to me provided no real mental stimulation. i idly cast my mind around, mulling over the name of the forum. surely they couldn't all be hints............. could they?

then it struck me. the name plainly conceals a further clue: ultimata debts. this odd turn of phrase presented no difficulty to a whip-smart intellectual brain such as my own - smoganon is clearly trying to tell us that the arsonist is being blackmailed into their actions (they have an ultimatum to fulfil their debts) by either mr. smogs or his mother - the latter seems more likely, given her apparent determination to save smogon from financial ruin at any cost. but then this begs a further, more pertinent question: who is the arsonist? well, dear reader, the answer may shock you. but before the big reveal, i should explain how i reached this conclusion:

after fending off a rabid army in the battle stadium, my mind instantly went to the other forum on this website that could be described in such terms: our very own smogoff. the answer here is rather straightforward - the forum's name alludes to a fog of Ms. in the absence of anyone named this (as if smoganon would make it so transparently obvious!), i decided to dig deeper - but bear this in mind as we go forward.

the first subforum i noticed with an "m" in its name (as i was convinced this was my strongest lead to the arsonist's identity) was pokemon showdown!. surely a forum named for smogon's flagship battle service wouldn't yield anything? but such is the beauty of smoganon, friends - since the very day of showdown's conception, its name has taunted us with knowledge. deciphering this one (and adding some necessary punctuation, as hinted to us by the presence of the exclamation mark) gives us the awful truth. brace yourselves, smogoffians - this is where our story turns really dark.

monk's owned - whoop!

yes, it is with a heavy heart that i reveal the identity of the firestarter - our very own monkfish (i fear to tag him, lest he discovers that i know the truth............) is under the thumb of mama smogs. a sad day for us all, despite the celebratory tone of the clue.

by this point in my investigation, i was utterly hooked. i had to go deeper, had to know more. i was determined to take this thing as far as i could. our brave detective az uncovered the conspiracy's dastardly links to inside scoop, but what of that other great decision-making engine, policy review? perhaps here i would find more information on monkfish's exploitation, i thought; as ever, i was entirely correct.

you know the drill by now, comrades: i re-shuffled the letters in the name to reveal a truly shocking command: pierce low, ivy. the meaning once again explains itself - smogoff moderator ivy has been behind the blackmail of monkfish (a low blow indeed) all along! indeed, i would even go so far as to hypothesise that ivy's eventual position at the head of this forum was a reward for his callous manipulation.

but ivy couldn't become moderator of smogoff if there was no smogoff, could he? the logical extrapolation is that tom smogs's mother was behind the destruction of firebot. "but detective clefairy!" i hear you cry, "what could this megalomaniacal matriarch possibly stand to gain from such an act? was ivy's promotion so important?" alas, my friends, i have only speculation. perhaps mama smogs viewed illustrious users shade and brightobject as obstacles standing in the way of her plan and desired their removal; perhaps she simply saw the name (firebot) as too obvious a hint towards her insurance scheme. i cannot say for certain, but know this: this runs deeper than any of us could possibly conceive. i am certain that there is much more to be uncovered here - i am happy to rest for now, knowing that i have helped at least somewhat towards the exposure of this cunning plan.

my time here draws to a close. the involvement of monkfish proves that no badged user can be trusted - hope lies with us, the plucky, badgeless users of the forum. always remember, as smoganon says, WWP1WPA - where we Post one, we Post all.

signing off.

 

[LordThemberchaud]

I have no badge, so can I be trusted?

 

[かたわれ時]

This thread is an elaborate ruse by the higher ups! They bribed AZ to post this thread in Smogoff, to make us all think this is a joke. They make us think there is no issue. The issue is there folks, and I am certain of this. I have uncovered the proof, but they’re on to me. It’s

Ok guys this is all a joke. You forget this message. If you don’t, well, you know what will happen to you

 

[Rugi]

Ahaha actually the name Smogon originates from █ █████████ ████

 

[Rugi]

 

[Mace]

Only the hero of Firebot could have the courage that you do Total Clefairy.