Smogoff Knife Fight No Johns (Won by the Johners)

Round 1 of the Smogoff Knife Fight (No Johns)™ has arrived! These competitors are all around the world have entered for a chance of fame, wealth, uh, spending less money on alcohol and *checks notes* showing us the dangers of knife fighting?
The crowd gathered to spectate this great event are also brimming with excitement. Some are rumored to be packing heat, others are brandishing spoons. Some poor souls are even scrounging for spare knives after forgetting theirs at home. Will any of these spectators attempt to join in the fight before round 1 ends?

Without further adieu, HERE ARE OUR MATCHUPS!

Competitors please explain your method of combat in your winposts and provide evidence.

Remember: No Johns! Matchups that are incomplete will be ruthlessly coinflipped.

Deadline is Thursday, February 9th at 8pm GMT-5.

Someone count 1 2 3 Go!
 
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byes in a knife fight seem like they're not in the spirit of the competition

@ anyone who has a bye, I challenge you to the following competition: person that posts in this thread closest to the deadline wins. everyone else is eliminated

will this fuck up the bracket? yes. but will it be entertaining? certainly
 
phoopes said:
byes in a knife fight seem like they're not in the spirit of the competition

@ anyone who has a bye, I challenge you to the following competition: person that posts in this thread closest to the deadline wins. everyone else is eliminated

will this fuck up the bracket? yes. but will it be entertaining? certainly
Click to expand...

if only Smogoff users traveled in packs of size 2^x... I spy an opportunity for improvement in this forum
 
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i defeated HydrogenHydreigon with pipes (the puzzle game). didn't take pics of the whole convo bc too many screenshots + lazy. good games and well-played to my competitor!! :psyglad:
Screen Shot 2023-02-07 at 9.04.39 PM.png
 
phoopes said:
byes in a knife fight seem like they're not in the spirit of the competition

@ anyone who has a bye, I challenge you to the following competition: person that posts in this thread closest to the deadline wins. everyone else is eliminated

will this fuck up the bracket? yes. but will it be entertaining? certainly
Click to expand...
In the spirit of the competition I opt to reject this challenge in favour of taking my bye and advancing to Round 2. ggs
 
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