i didn't intend for it to come off in a condescending manner but instead to imply you're stuck in a loop based on your stance against surrogacy. absolutely, as adults we have to accept there are things out of our control that we can't do much about, but i don't understand how this applies in this situation when there is a solution (surrogacy) to said problem.
gay people didn't choose to be gay in the same way women that can't carry a child chose that outcome. if someone wants to spend money to have someone else carry their child, i don't understand the problem. it is the choice of both the parents and the surrogate parent to be involved in this. i feel like you're put off by the monetary aspect here which while i can understand doesn't really carry any weight in an argument. people can spend their money how they please. sometimes, that means it's coming from a place of privilege based on the amount of money spent, but by that logic people would be ridiculed for the amount of money they spend on a house, or buying a house in general, when there is a alternative method in rent, which carries less "privilege."
I don't mind surrogacy but also I find your argument about money to be pretty weird.
Yes, you can ridicule people for how they spend money. People do it all the time, even in casual conversation. I will do it and keep doing it, and keep making fun of rich people for doing rich people things. That being said, being a surrogate parent is not the same as "buying a house", because you aren't fucking "buying a person". You are buying the right to be a parent when otherwise you could not.
That being said, I would still prefer that you adopt a child, because that actually helps people who need it; and if you say "well what if the parent is abusive", then I hope they aren't also gonna have a surrogate child!!!!!!!!!
Ultimately, society should reconsider how we deal with parenting as a whole because most people are terribly ill-equipped and social norms around it is stupid. Parents basically own their children and are often terrible parents, sometimes out of malice, most of the time out of neglect or failure to understand their role, or be a good parent. I do not think everyone should have the right to be the guardian of their child just because they will it and are an adult, because I don't think most people can be trusted with giving their children the right to decide their own destiny, or have the education they deserve, and more. In my ideal society, schools are funded and take a much greater role in raising young kids than parents.
As long as we as a society say that you should be able to do that though, then sure, fuck it, you can do surrogacy, I guess.