I see that Haxiom said what I was thinking below, but I'd like to do it from a bit of a different angle. I'm unsure why you are interested in rating teams, and a lot of your suggestions are pretty good! But if you want someone to actually follow your advice and improve, it's much more helpful to come at it with a welcoming tone.
sup mate, it's cool to tell someone that there team is unviable and help them by directing them to B101, but don't insult them, act pretentiously, and evade the word filter (!) just to say that the team is bad.