Grammar-Prose Workshop v6

[autumn]

betathunder

Cinccino

letting them run many powerful entry hazard weak Pokemon

There should be a hyphen between hazard-weak; this is a compound adjective where both 'hazard' and 'weak' combine to describe the Pokemon.

Knock Off lets Cinccino hit Ghost Types Ghost-types like Chandelure, as well as Bronzong, an otherwise problematic wall other problematic walls such as Bronzong. (Changed order; original version reads like Bronzong is a Ghost type. Addition of other Ghost-types or problematic walls may strengthen this sentence)

The original version shouldn't read like Bronzon is a Ghost-type because using 'as well as' more directly separates examples. If you had a sentence like 'It hits Fire-types like Charizard and Moltres as well as Pikachu', the purpose of the 'as well as' is to separate the first list from the second one so it doesn't reas as 'Fire-types like Charizard, Moltres, and Pikachu'.

In this case it's harder to pick up on because the 'Ghost-types like Chandelure' list only has Chandelure in it; if it was'Ghost-types like Chandelure and Gengar as well as Bronzong' it would be a bit easier, but the principle is the same. Ghost-types like Chandelure is one 'list', and 'Bronzong' is the other one.

With your change, the nuance has been altered a bit. The original had Bronzong as a specific example (there's no 'Pokemon like Bronzong', it's just Bronzong on its own). However, the edit now has 'problematic walls like Bronzong', which implies that Bronzong is just an example of the problematic walls category.

There's a difference between 'Pokemon like x' phrasing and just saying 'x'. For example, if you said 'Pokemon like Gholdengo can block Defog with Good as Gold', it would make no sense because there's no other Pokemon like that.

Knock Off lets Cinccino

There's also a small type on Cinccino's name here.

Encore allows Cincinno to capitalize on passive foes that setup set up hazards, boost their stats, or heal up such as Gligar, Registeel, and Sylveon.

The Cinccino name typo is also here - as a tip, if a writer makes an error more than once, using ctrl + f can help make sure you've covered them all.

The first mention of 'hazards' in each paragraph needs to be written out in full as 'entry hazards', but after hat just saying hazards on its own is fine.

Teammates like Diancie, Toxtricity, (AC) and Scyther can work alongside Cinccino to overwhelm shared Steel-type checks like Copperajah and Bronzong, however Fires Fire- and Fightings Fighting-types such as Chandelure, Tauros-Paldea-Aqua Paldean Tauros-W, and Heracross that easily beat these same Steel-types work as well.

The word ‘however' is not a connective in the same way that 'and' 'but' 'or' are, so it can't be used to connect two independent clauses; this creates a comma splice. To fix this, you can use a semicolon in place of a comma (then add a comma after however), or you can use a period and start a new sentence. Only connectives can be used to connect clauses in this way, so other words like 'therefore' 'additionally' also follow this rule.

subjective changes

Considered adding ‘respectively’ after the ‘Gligar, Registeel, Sylveon’ line, since technically Registeel can set up hazards and Sylveon can boost its stats. However, I think the overall point of the sentence is that Cinccino can punish passivity regardless of who uses it, so I decided to not suggest that change.

Respectively has a very specific usage; it means that item 1 in list 1 only applies to item 1 in list 2, item 2 in list 1 only applies to item 2 in list 2, etc. There has to be the same number of items in each list for it to work, and there can't be something that applies to multiple items in the other list.

In this case, you don't know if respectively is true, as like you said, Registeel can do 2/3, Gligar can do 2/3, Sylveon can do 2/3. Adding the respectively would be a content change, which is a big no for GP.

Considered changing '...beat these same Steel-types work as well' to '...beat these same Steel-types also works', but upon reflection this felt like a more personal change than anything.

Yes, that suggestion is a good example of a lateral change. A lateral change is where you go from one correct thing -> a second correct thing without any real prose justification other than 'it sounds better to me'. If you can't pinpoint an issue (either a grammar error or a prose issue like clarity / repetition / fluff / redundancy etc), then you're changing the voice of the writer for no material gain.

For now I plan to treat these situations as "do not make a change unless it is absolutely necessary for clarity," but I would still appreciate feedback on whether or not those changes would be approved.

There are other reasons that you'd make changes to the writing, and you can find some explanations on my beginner notes document in the prose errors section and in the prose guide.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zdePdwuZLzDPcKv7v_t-V3cOIdmG5kdzoN-F-ry2uWI/edit?tab=t.0

Post in thread 'Guide to the GP Process for Aspiring GPers [new amcheckers please read!]'

Dec 24, 2024

mari's guide to subjective changes

One of the trickier parts of grammar and prose is the prose part of the process. While grammar for the most part deals with more objective changes that can be taught pretty straightforwardly, the prose part deals with larger sentence structure matters and often has overlap with the more subjective part of the process. This means that you're relying a bit more on instinct here and need to play more by broad guidelines than hard rules; however, there are a few ways in which we can make things clearer.

Overall, the main thing to keep in mind is...

• Lumari

• 
• 

 

[Ember Celica]

add remove comment

Enamorus

Enamorus-I Enamorus is a top tier Tera Captain which that should always be made one when drafted. Tera Fairy further boosts its STABs Fairy-type STAB moves, (AC) making it extremely hard to check (RC) even when it is not using damage boosting damage-boosting items, (AC) and giving gives it the benefit of taking less damage from Stealth rocks Rock. Types Tera types like Fire and Ground boosts it's boost its coverage moves further (RC) while flipping some of it's its weaknesses. Tera Water, Poison, (AC) and Steel allow you Enamourus to kill opponents you KO foes it otherwise would not, especially on set up set-up sets. Ghost and Electric gives give it extra coverage via Tera Blast, and handles handle certain attacks better. Stellar type Stellar-type Tera Blast deals 80 damage to opponents and hits them all neutrally which synergizes well with Contrary and Choice Scarf, (AC) boosting Enamorus-I's Enamorus's offensive stats while dealing massive damage to all opponents foes reliably.

 

[EthanLac]

add remove comment

Weavile

Weavile is a staple on Ice-teams Ice teams thanks to its incredible Speed tier and high Attack. Knock Off denies passive recovery on opponents foes like Corviknight or and Dondozo by removing their Leftovers, (AC) and it prevents chip damage from opponents foes like Great Tusk and Skarmory by Knocking Off removing their Rocky Helmet. At +2, (AC) Triple Axel secures the OHKO on foes like the Ogerpon forms formes, Kyurem, Walking Wake, Ceruledge, (AC) and Goodra-Hisui Hisuian Goodra. Furthermore, it Weavile is able to check defensive Great Tusk, Iron Treads, and Non non-Choice Scarf Gholdengo, (AC) which who can prove to be formidable foes for Ice Type teams. Ice Shard serves as a reliable countermeasure against faster foes like Choice Scarf Enamorus, Landorus-I Landorus, and Roaring Moon. At +2, it is also able to OHKO Dragapult (RC) while also OHKOing Garchomp without making contact which avoids chip taking chip damage from its Rough Skin.

 

[adorluigi]

Ember Celica

Copyedit

Enamorus-I Enamorus is a top tier Tera Captain which that should always be made one when drafted.

"top tier" is a compound adjective that modifies "Tera Captain", so it should be hyphenated like "top-tier Tera Captain". it's similar to "damage-boosting items" that you caught after
you can look at this grammarly article for more reading if you want

Tera Water, Poison, (AC) and Steel allow you Enamourus to kill opponents you KO foes it otherwise would not, especially on set up set-up sets.

1: good catch on the "you"! but you misspelled Enamorus :P
2: "set-up" refers to pokemon that have already set up; you wanna use setup (noun) here to refer to those that set up (verb)

Ghost and Electric gives give it extra coverage via Tera Blast, and handles handle certain attacks better.

1: make sure to mention "Tera"
2: the comma shouldn't be there; commas should only be added before "and" in a list of 3 items or more: "Pokemon like Hypno, Blastoise, and Feraligatr" or if an "and" is connecting two independent clauses "Mew beats Lucario, and it helps its team with hazards"
also should be "and lets it handle"

Stellar type Stellar-type Tera Blast deals 80 damage to opponents and hits them all neutrally which synergizes well with Contrary and Choice Scarf, (AC) boosting Enamorus-I's Enamorus's offensive stats while dealing massive damage to all opponents foes reliably.

great dex info removal here! only comment is "Stellar-type Tera Blast" is formatted "Tera Blast Stellar"

all in all, you caught a good deal of stuff, well done!

EthanLac

Copyedit

great work with these fixes as usual!! I just have one comment:

At +2, it is also able

this was probably fine to keep

 

[betathunder]

add remove comment

Serperior

Normalium-ZNormalium Z Serperior utilises utilizes Leaf Storm boosted Z-Hyper Beam Storm-boosted Breakneck Blitz (It should be obvious that Normalium Z is meant to boost Hyper Beam and not Hidden Power) to bypass most of its checks, namely Mega-Venusaur Mega Venusaur, Amoonguss, Mega-Latias Mega Latias, Iron Moth, Hydrapple, (AC) and or Victini. Hidden Power [Fire] allows Serperior to chip damage Aegislash and Celesteela, the only checks unfazed by a boosted Breakneck Blitz, slowly wearing them down into range of +2 or +4 HP Hidden Power Fire in the late game late-game (Reading aloud this makes sense to me, but for some reason I still feel like its incorrect. I think its because late-game (per the guide) isn't a noun, so I am unsure what noun it is modifying in this sentence? My best guess is 'range', but please advise ). Synthesis allows you Serperior to switch in to Rotom W into Rotom-W and Ting Lu Ting-Lu throughout longer games without being worn down, abusing these giving Serperior more opportunities to chip away at its checks. (This was the best way I could think of to combine these two clauses without overly restructuring the original sentence) Glare eases the MU matchup against Aegislash and Celesteela by allowing you Serperior to paralyse paralyze them (RC) and attempt to remove them. Normalium-Z Normalium Z Serperior is only seen on Webs Sticky Web and other offense teams, (AC) as its aggressive playstyle and lackluster bulk leaves it unable to attempt to setup set up multiple times against teams with revenge-killers revenge killers like Greninja, Iron Boulder, or Mega-Aerodactyl and Mega Aerodactyl. Sticky Webs slow Web slows down the first two, (AC) but answers to Mega-Aerodactyl Mega Aerodactyl like Air Balloon Aegislash, Azumarill, Scizor, (AC) and Choice Scarf Mienshao are recommended given its ability to dodge the hazard Sticky Web immunity.

Other Comments

I put most of my main comments in the text above, but I'd like to move onto real amchecks if you guys think I'm up for it :D

 

[a blue banana]

betathunder

Serperior feedback

Normalium Z Serperior utilises utilizes Leaf Storm boosted Z-Hyper Beam Storm-boosted Breakneck Blitz (It should be obvious that Normalium Z is meant to boost Hyper Beam and not Hidden Power) to bypass most of its checks, namely Mega-Venusaur Mega Venusaur, Amoonguss, Mega-Latias Mega Latias, Iron Moth, Hydrapple, (AC) and or Victini.

You fixed this sentence perfectly, but just to make sure, your comment was meant to be addressed by someone who will provide feedback to this amcheck, right?

If this one was meant to be read by the original writer, you may want to be a bit mindful on how you word your comments in actual amchecks. Not every person will have time to read or memorize the GP standards for writing analyses, and I think it's better to comment directly and neutrally rather than in a way that might come off as a negative remark.

Hidden Power [Fire] allows Serperior to chip damage Aegislash and Celesteela, the only checks unfazed by a boosted Breakneck Blitz, slowly wearing them down into range of +2 or +4 HP Hidden Power Fire in the late game late-game (Reading aloud this makes sense to me, but for some reason I still feel like its incorrect. I think its because late-game (per the guide) isn't a noun, so I am unsure what noun it is modifying in this sentence? My best guess is 'range', but please advise ).

- "chip" is a valid verb for that part of the sentence (i.e. "to break a small part", in this context it would be "to slightly damage"), so it didn't really need changing. You only would need to correct "chip" if it was used as a noun to mean "small amount of damage", where it should be changed to "chip damage".
- "late-game" can be used as either an adjective or an adverb, so your changes are correct.

Synthesis allows you Serperior to switch in to Rotom W into Rotom-W and Ting Lu Ting-Lu throughout longer games without being worn down, abusing these giving Serperior more opportunities to chip away at its checks. (This was the best way I could think of to combine these two clauses without overly restructuring the original sentence)

Your way of changing "abusing" is fine, but I think a better way to do so while preserving more of the author's writing is to change the original wording to something like "letting it exploit these opportunities". The word "abuse" can't be used in analyses, but you should be fine using synonyms that mean "to take advantage of", like "exploit". Additionally, changing the demonstrative adjective from "these" to a general one like "more" will no longer make "opportunities" reference the first part of the sentence.

Normalium-Z Normalium Z Serperior is only seen on Webs Sticky Web and other offense teams, (AC) as its aggressive playstyle and lackluster bulk leaves it unable to attempt to setup set up multiple times against teams with revenge-killers revenge killers like Greninja, Iron Boulder, or Mega-Aerodactyl and Mega Aerodactyl.

- The highlighted part is a plural subject, so the verb should be "leave" instead.

Sticky Webs slow Web slows down the first two, (AC) but answers to Mega-Aerodactyl Mega Aerodactyl like Air Balloon Aegislash, Azumarill, Scizor, (AC) and Choice Scarf Mienshao are recommended given its ability to dodge the hazard Sticky Web immunity.

- I think your changes to the ending phrasing are good because it makes the wording more clearer to viewers, but I feel like leaving the phrasing alone would also be valid because it's understandable as is and not too wordy. When making subjective changes like this, I think one question to ask yourself is, "Would a newer player be able to understand the author's original writing?"

Despite my commentary, your check is very solid! Most of my comments are mostly nitpicks or things to keep in mind as you gain experience in copyediting. I think you should be fine moving onto real amchecks if you're comfortable enough, and you should strongly consider signing up for tutoring if you plan to do so.

 

[RodentTamer]

So......I did this after struggling almost 2 hours reading the guide but let me know how I did.

Add Remove Comment

Meowscarada check

Choice Scarf Meowscarada with Sword of Ruin is a top-notch offensive pivot and revenge-killer revenge killer against set-up sweepers like Polteageist, as well as other Scarfers Choice Scarf users like Sandy-Shocks Sandy Shocks. (Please do keep in mind whenever you adress a choiced item, that you use its full name. Also, revenge killer and Sandy Shocks do not have hyphens.) On top of that, Meowscarada can potentially clean in the late-game after using Knock Off + U-turn to sufficiently weaken checks like Corviknight and Scream Tail. Trick is an immediate and sure-fire way for Meowscarada to shut down it's its checks, (AC) while Knock Off paired with Spikes are is good at chipping the grounded ones threats into KO range. Early game breakers Early-game wallbreakers such as Dragonite, Chi Yu Chi-Yu, and Greninja can punch huge holes into the foe's opponents's team so that Meowscarada can sweep (RC). (AP) In return, Meowscarada cripples assists Dragonite with crippling Dondozo and Corviknight with its STABs for the first and offers pivot support for the latter two Greninja and Chi-Yu. (Changed the wording around this sentence so that we can address what Meowscarada does for possible allies, and how it can break Corviknight and Dondozo Greninja and Chi-Yu) Corviknight is a solid Defogger and pivot that also switches into priority attacks like First Impression, -ate Extreme Speed, and Ice Shard as well, which frees up allows Meowscarada to pivot more freely throughout the game. (I'm almost certain that Ate is lowercased and i removed as well and frees up so that it doesn't look like we're adding extra words.

autumn a blue banana sunny004 fixed and revised with the formatter.

 

[autumn]

RodentTamer

Meowscarada

Choice Scarf Meowscarada with Sword of Ruin is a top-notch offensive pivot and revenge-killer revenge killer against set-up sweepers like Polteageist, as well as other Scarfers Choice Scarf users like Sandy-Shocks Sandy Shocks. (Please do keep in mind whenever you adress a choiced item, that you use its full name. Also, revenge killer and Sandy Shocks do not have hyphens.)

• Set up is the verb (to set up, x can set up on y) and setup is the noun (setup sweeper, setup move etc). This should be setup sweepers.
• When you make comments, remember that you're talking to a writer. You don't need to explain rules to them or tell them to keep something in mind especially as an amchecker because it can come off as rude/direct. Making the changes and leaving comments when you have questions for the writer is a better approach.

In return, Meowscarada cripples assists Dragonite with crippling Dondozo and Corviknight with its STABs for the first and offers pivot support for the latter two Greninja and Chi-Yu. (Changed the wording around this sentence so that we can address what Meowscarada does for possible allies, and how it can break Corviknight and Dondozo Greninja and Chi-Yu)

• Because you have added 'assists Dragonite' to the sentence, you no longer need 'the first' because that phrase is what told you that it referred tp Dragonite.
• There was nothing incorrect with 'latter two'. That phrasing already addresses what your comment is suggesting. Latter definition = denoting the second or second mentioned of two people or things. The change needed would be to change 'first' to 'former' to follow that former / latter pattern - this would also mean you didn't need to add the part about Dragonite.
• STABs should be 'STAB moves', 'STAB attacks' etc. STABs is not an accepted term.

Corviknight is a solid Defogger and pivot that also switches into priority attacks like First Impression, -ate Extreme Speed, and Ice Shard as well, which frees up allows Meowscarada to pivot more freely throughout the game. (I'm almost certain that Ate is lowercased and i removed as well and frees up so that it doesn't look like we're adding extra words.

• Similarly to above, comments are for a writer, so saying 'I'm pretty sure this is correct' will just make them less confident. Just make the changes, and feedback will address it.
• Sticking to the original words used won't 'look like we're adding extra words' because those words were already there. If you added them in yourself that would be true, but that is what the original writing had. Like I have mentioned a few times in the forum PM, you want to preserve as much of the original writing as possible.

Also as a note, now you're fully using the format, tool, you put { and } around any text to make that into a comment. Feel free to do another exercise now, but just one at a time.

 

[RodentTamer]

Hi! add remove comment

Enamorus

Enamorus-I Enamorus is a top tier tera captain which top-tier Tera Captain and should always be made one when drafted. Tera Fairy further boosts its STABs Fairy-type STAB moves, making it extremely hard to check (RC) even when it is not using damage boosting damage-boosting items, (AC) and giving it the benefit of taking less damage from Stealth Rocks. Types Other Tera types like Fire and Ground boosts it's boost Enamorus's coverage moves further (RC) while flipping some of it's its weaknesses. Water, Poison, (AC) and Steel allow you Enamorus to kill KO foes opponents you it otherwise would not, especially on set up setup sets. Tera Ghost and Electric gives it extra coverage, and allows it to better handle via Tera Blast, and handles certain attacks better. Stellar type. If Enamorus runs Tera Blast deals 80 damage to opponents and hits them all neutrally which Stellar, Tera Blast synergizes well with Contrary and Choice Scarf, (AC) boosting Enamorus-I's its offensive stats while dealing massive damage to all opponents reliably hitting all opposing Pokemon for good neutral damage.

autumn sunny004

 

[sunny004]

RodentTamer

Enamorus

Enamorus-I Enamorus is a top tier tera captain which top-tier Tera Captain and should always be made one when drafted.

- Good!

Tera Fairy further boosts its STABs Fairy-type STAB moves, making it extremely hard to check (RC) even when it is not using damage boosting damage-boosting items, (AC) and giving it the benefit of taking less damage from Stealth Rocks.

- Adding the comma before "and" is incorrect here, because the subsequent clause is dependent (i.e., it cannot stand alone as its own sentence.)
- The name of the move is "Stealth Rock," not "Stealth Rocks"
- Rest of the changes are good! Nice hyphen catches.

Types Other Tera types like Fire and Ground boosts it's boost Enamorus's coverage moves further (RC) while flipping some of it's its weaknesses.

- Good!

Water, Poison, (AC) and Steel allow you Enamorus to kill KO foes opponents you it otherwise would not, especially on set up setup sets.

- I would have put "Tera" before Water here, especially since you do the same in the subsequent sentence. Good changes otherwise!

Tera Ghost and Electric gives it extra coverage, and allows it to better handle via Tera Blast, and handles certain attacks better. Stellar type.

- You should not have removed "via Tera Blast" here, as that is a content change. Without Tera Blast, it is unclear how the extra coverage is given with those types to a new reader.
- Because "Tera Ghost and Electric" is a plural subject, you needed to correct some of the verbs here for subject-verb agreement purposes. Specifically, "gives" should have been "give," and "allows" should have been "allow."
- The comma that you added before "and" is incorrect for the same reason mentioned above—the subsequent clause is dependent.
- Additionally, for that comma it would have been better to add a (AC) flag, as it is hard to see.

If Enamorus runs Tera Blast deals 80 damage to opponents and hits them all neutrally which Stellar, Tera Blast synergizes well with Contrary and Choice Scarf, (AC) boosting Enamorus-I's its offensive stats while dealing massive damage to all opponents reliably hitting all opposing Pokemon for good neutral damage.

- It would have been better to replace the entire underlined portion with "Tera Blast Stellar," as the portion you deleted is dex info and just saying "Tera Blast Stellar" implies that Enamorus is running it anyway
- The rest is good!