Overall, you have really strong objective knowledge as well as a good eye for prose changes, which is great! Just make sure to avoid lateral changes, or edits that go from one correct phrasing to another one for no reason apart from sounding better to you.
As GP, we want to preserve the voice and style of writers as much as possible so their work can be up on site in their own words. There are always going to be some small edits that change this, but keeping voice in mind is key. You want to make sure you're checking what's in the analysis and not what you'd personally write if this was your own analysis; what sounds better to you may not sound better to the writer.
Choice Specs Calyrex-Shadow Calyrex-S is an excellent breaker who independantly breaks wallbreaker, independently breaking through most of its usual switch ins switch-ins with accurate prediction.
Removing the 'who' and changing breaker -> wallbreaker is good here, but there's nothing structurally wrong with 'wallbreaker that independently breaks', which preserves a bit more of the original prose. For a short sentence like this, it's best to defer to the writer's structure unless you're fixing a structural issue / removing repetition if the structure has been used constantly throughout the paragraph.
Grass Knot kills Arceus-Water and Arceus-Ground in one hit after hazard damage. Grass Knot also 2HKOs Ting Lu 2HKOes Ting-Lu, pressures neutral foes like Arceus, and OHKOes Arceus-Water and Arceus-Ground after entry hazards. Grass Knot pressures neutral targets like Arceus-Normal as well (RP)
Great catch idenfiying that the three Grass Knot sentences can be combined. However, the order of the three ideas doesn't need to be restructured - the list can start with the OHKO calcs, then the 2HKO calcs, then pressuring neutral targets in the same way the original text did. When making necessary prose edits, it's best to make the least intrusive change to preserve as much intent as possible even when a change hasto happen (like here).
Psyshock is an alternative STAB
STAB here on its own isn't correct because STAB = the 1.5x bonus to damage, but you can change it to 'STAB move / STAB attack' instead of removing the idea entirely.
Trick + Choice Specs debilitate Calyrex-Shadow's cripples Calyrex-S's
This change with your comment makes a lot of sense and actually isn't something that I'd considered before. Just note that changing debilitates -> cripples is a bit of a lateral change because both phrasings were correct. so deferring to the word choices of the writer is better. Consistency across the website shouldn't be a concern here because there are multiple words that have very similar meanings, and we don't standardise word choice here and prefer writer voice.
by removing the longevity their Item grant Choice-locking them and forcing them to attack hampering their longevity.
Similarly here, the ordering of the original sentence prioritised the idea of removing their longevity and then forcing them to attack, so reordering this takes that away a bit. There isn't anything wrong with the original structurally (outside the grammar errors).
Tera Ghost Astral Barrage 2HKOs 2HKOes Ting Lu with less chip
Note that Ting-Lu (and the other ruin Pokemon) have hyphens in their names.
A good piece of general advice is if you find a writer makes a simple mistake like mispelling Pokemon names, missing capitalisation etc, and you've identified it more than once, you can use ctrl + f to check you've caught them all. My
beginner notes document also has a section on proofreading with ctrl + f with a more general list of basic errors to check for.
'Chip' should also be 'chip damage' here - chip can't be used as a noun (Stealth Rock chip is wrong, Stealth Rock chip damage is correct), but it can be used as a verb (it can chip foes). This point doesn't really make sense as you said, so if you were doing a real GP check, you'd be able to leave a comment to the writer (on the tool, put { } around comments to format) - for worksho entries no need to worry.
We want to avoid using moves as verbs, so this change isn't needed.
Tera Grass gives Grass Knot a has good chance odds of scoring a OHKO on Ting Lu OHKOing Ting-Lu after hazard damage (RC) hazards and lets it secures a 2HKO on Arceus.
This first change is also somewhat lateral because 'gives Grass Knot a good chance to do x' isn't incorrect, so you're going from one correct phrasing to a second correct one. It also means that you've had to restructure quite a lot of the rest of the sentence, which takes voice away in ways that wouldn't have been needed.
survive attacks like Ting Lu's
This Ting-Lu also needs a hyphen added.
