Grammar-Prose Workshop v6

[Ascension Evermore]

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Slither Wing

Slither-Wing Slither Wing is a niche defensive pivot which that uses it's its interesting (Perhaps a more specific adjective can be used?) type typing, serviceable bulk, (AC) and reliable recovery in Morning Sun to check attackers like Great Tusk, Breloom, (AC) or and Kingambit. U-Turn generates momentum for Slither-Wing's Slither Wing's team against mons foes such as Flutter Mane and Skeledirge, (AC) and it importantly allows Slither-Wing Slither Wing to avoid being trapped by Gothitelle. Close Combat OHKOs Iron Bundle and Chi-Yu and 2HKOs Miraidon, (AC) which Body Press cannot do. (Can Body Press not secure any of the three KOs, or does it only fail to 2HKO Miraidon? If it is the former, rephrase as "Close Combat secures KOs that Body Press cannot, OHKOing Iron Bundle and Chi-Yu and 2HKOing Miraidon." If it is the latter, rephrase as "Close Combat 2HKOs Miraidon, which Body Press cannot do, and OHKOs Iron Bundle and Chi-Yu.") Will-o-Wisp's Will-O-Wisp's Burn burn stops the Pokemon Slither-Wing Slither Wing checks from using it as set up setup fodder, and it also punishes opponents foes (foes are opposing Pokemon, opponents are opposing battlers) such as Toxapex or and Corviknight for switching in. Morning Sun heals Slither-Wing for 50% of its health 50% of Slither Wing's HP, helping it to consistently switch into Great Tusk. Tera Water provides Slither Wing with a resistance to Fire-type (add hyphen) attacks from Koraidon and Chi-Yu, (RC) and Water-type (add hyphen) attacks from Iron Bundle and Palafin, (AC) allowing for a last-ditch (add hyphen) counterattack. 168 speed Speed EVs allow Slither Wing to out speed outspeed adamant Adamant Breloom, and the rest of the EVs are dumped into physical bulk.

Why outspeeding Breloom is a legitimate concern in a tier with Miraidon is beyond me, but here is my attempt regardless!

 

[autumn]

Ascension Evermore

Slither Wing

Great work here!

U-Turn

The t in U-turn isn't capitalised; for move / item / ability names, you can cross reference formatting with the PS teambuilder.

Close Combat OHKOs Iron Bundle and Chi-Yu and 2HKOs Miraidon

OHKOs/2HKOs/KOs is the noun form (eg it can pick up KOs), whereas OHKOes/2HKOes/KOes is the verb form (Dragapult OHKOes Gholdengo). In this sentence, both of these are being used as verbs, so they should be OHKOes/2HKOes.

Close Combat OHKOs Iron Bundle and Chi-Yu and 2HKOs Miraidon, (AC) which Body Press cannot do. (Can Body Press not secure any of the three KOs, or does it only fail to 2HKO Miraidon? If it is the former, rephrase as "Close Combat secures KOs that Body Press cannot, OHKOing Iron Bundle and Chi-Yu and 2HKOing Miraidon." If it is the latter, rephrase as "Close Combat 2HKOs Miraidon, which Body Press cannot do, and OHKOs Iron Bundle and Chi-Yu.")

The former doesn't need rephrasing because having the 'which' clause after all list items in a sentence implies that it applies to all of them. If it doesn't, then you would write it like your second option. The sentence as-is conveys the former in your comment, so you can assume that was the intention.

Morning Sun heals Slither-Wing for 50% of its health 50% of Slither Wing's HP, helping it to consistently switch into Great Tusk

The underlined section here can be removed for dex info, and the sentence can just be 'Morning Sun helps...'

Dex info is basic information about the game that can be found elsewhere on the dex / on Google (such as the type chart, what moves / items / abilities do etc). You can treat it like a dictionary definition. Dex info is bad because it's pointless to just drop dictionary definitions of words into writing, and we take it as a given that someone knows what a move does/what the type chart is. It takes up space for something that doesn't need to be explained and can get in the way of the key point of the sentence, the 'so what' of why something is being run.

Will-o-Wisp's Will-O-Wisp's Burn burn

out speed outspeed adamant Adamant

As a formatting note, it's best to group additions and removals together so it's easier to read, process, and implement changes from a check. Having out speed adamant outspeed Adamant is clearer to follow than out speed outspeed adamant Adamant. If you use the GP tool, this is handled for you and issn't something you need to consider while checking, so I highly highly recommend it.

As a general formatting tip, I'd recommend making your add/comment colours slighlty less bright and intense for readability; maybe something like #34c0eb for add and #ff70e5 for comment to stay similar? The tool lets you choose any hex code too, so you can play around with it.

If you select this option on the tool, it removes the commas/periods you want to remove while still leaving the comment in; this is generally better for writers to implement so they don't miss a red comma.

 

[Ascension Evermore]

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Enamorus

Enamorus-IEnamorus is a top tier tera captain which top-tier Tera Captain and should always be made one when drafted. Tera Fairy further boosts its STABs STAB moves, (AC) making it extremely hard to check, even when it is not using damage boosting damage-boosting items. (AP) It also lets Enamorus take and giving it the benefit of taking less damage from Stealth rocks Rock. Types like Tera Fire and Ground boosts it's boost its coverage moves further (RC) while flipping some of it's its weaknesses. Tera Water, Poison, (AC) and Steel allow you Enamorus to kill KO opponents you it otherwise would not, especially on set up setup sets. Tera Ghost and Electric gives it extra give Enamorus additional coverage via Tera Blast (RC) and handles let it handle certain attacks better. Stellar type Tera Blast deals 80 damage to opponents and hits them all neutrally which 80 damage is unneeded dex info Stellar synergizes well with Contrary and Choice Scarf, (AC) boosting Enamorus-I's Enamorus's offensive stats while reliably dealing massive neutral damage to all opponents reliably foes.

Edited to add a comment as explanation; didn't change the actual additions or removals.

 

[autumn]

Ascension Evermore

Enamorus

Great work here too! This shows a lot of great understanding around the standards.

Tera Water, Poison, (AC) and Steel allow you Enamorus to kill KO opponents

Opponents here should be changed to 'foes' - opponent is the human player, whereas foe is the opposing Pokemon. This was the only objective grammar error I noticed, and the feedback below here is more prose suggestions / comments.

gives it extra give Enamorus additional

There isn't anything wrong with 'extra' here, so there isn't a need to change to additional. This is more of a lateral change (a change that goes from one correct phrasing to another one without a clear prose justification). As GP, we want to preserve the voice and style of writers as much as possible so their work can be up onsite in their own words; poor prose does need to be addressed, so using strong justifications for why you’re making the change / what error you’re trying to fix will help avoid lateral changes while making necessary improvements.

It's best to be especially cautious around single-word changes because those can remove writer voice; those types of changes need something like 'the writer has used the word 'good' three times in a row' for example. The beginner notes doc has a section on prose edits / justifications as well.

while reliably dealing massive neutral damage to all opponents reliably foes.

There isn't anything wrong with the original having 'reliably' at the end, so moving it is more of a lateral change.

On your comments point, if you need to add comments directly in the tool, you can put curly brackets { } around the text, and it will format in comment colour.

 

[fiish]

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Meowscarada

Choice Scarf Meowscarada with Sword of Ruin is a top-notch offensive pivot and revenge-killer against set-up revenge killer of setup sweepers like Polteageist, as well as other Scarfers Choice Scarf users like Sandy-Shocks Sandy Shocks. On top of that, Meowscarada can potentially clean in the late-game after using Knock Off + and U-turn to sufficiently weaken checks like Corviknight and Scream Tail. Trick is an immediate and sure-fire way for Meowscarada to shut down it's its checks while Knock Off, (AC) paired with Spikes, (AC) is are good at chipping the grounded ones into KO range. Early game breakers Early-game wallbreakers such as Dragonite, Chi Yu Chi-Yu, (AC) and Greninja can punch huge holes into in the foe's opponent's team so that Meowscarada can sweep, and in return, Meowscarada cripples Dondozo and Corviknight with its STABs STAB moves for the first and offers pivot support for the latter two. Corviknight is a solid defogger and pivot that also switches into priority attacks like First Impression, -ate Extreme Speed, and Ice Shard as well, which frees up Meowscarada to pivot more freely use a different adverb here to avoid repetition throughout the game.

 

[wisteriapurple]

gm fiish

meowscarada feedback

a top-notch offensive pivot and revenge-killer against set-up revenge killer of setup sweepers like Polteageist, as well as other Scarfers Choice Scarf users

"against" was actually grammatically correct here and changing it to "of" is an example of a lateral change (i.e. changing a correct phrasing to something else without a strong enough justification). as GP, we want to preserve the voice and style of writers as much as possible so their work can be up onsite in their own words. poor prose does need to be addressed, so using strong justifications for why you’re making the change or what error you’re trying to fix will help avoid lateral changes while making necessary improvements. particularly, this change also slightly altered the meaning of this clause; the original meant that meowscarada works as both a pivot and a revenge killer against setup sweepers/choice scarf users, whereas the change to "of" loses the additional info that meowscarada works as a pivot against these pokemon specifically.

the comma before "as well as" also needs to be removed, since the information that meowscarada works against choice scarf users is important and should not be turned into an aside by leaving the comma in.

On top of that, Meowscarada can potentially clean in the late-game

"late-game" is used on its own; it should not be preceded by phrases like "in the" or "during the."

Knock Off + and U-turn

using "+" to refer to a combination of two moves in a specific set is fine.

Early game breakers Early-game wallbreakers such as Dragonite, Chi Yu Chi-Yu, (AC) and Greninja can punch huge holes into in the foe's opponent's team so that Meowscarada can sweep, and in return, Meowscarada cripples Dondozo and Corviknight with its STABs STAB moves for the first and offers pivot support for the latter two.

there are a few things i want to address with this part. firstly, if you look at the final sentence, it's actually pretty long:

Early-game wallbreakers such as Dragonite, Chi-Yu, and Greninja can punch huge holes in the opponent's team so that Meowscarada can sweep, and in return, Meowscarada cripples Dondozo and Corviknight with its STAB moves for the first and offers pivot support for the latter two.

thus, it is generally better to splice the sentence into two shorter ones to enhance readability. in this case, you can split this sentence right before the "in return..." portion, either by replacing the comma preceding it with a semi-colon or a period (take care to capitalise "in" if you opt for the latter).

secondly, "punch huge holes into" is already grammatically correct and changing it to "punch huge holes in" is another example of a lateral change.

finally, "for the first" should be changed to "for the former" to be consistent with "for the latter two."

Corviknight is a solid defogger

"defogger" needs to be capitalised here.

-ate Extreme Speed

good catch on the capitalisation of "-ate"; however, per the spelling & grammar standards, the combination of -ate abilities and Extreme Speed should be referred to with "-ate Speed."

In Other Metagames analyses, the term -ate Speed is accepted as referring to the combination of an -ate ability and Extreme Speed.

when doing checks it's important to reference the spelling & grammar standards and this is doubly so when you're checking Other Metagames-related things, since they may have their own standards/accepted terminology.

good effort otherwise! (: