Grammar-Prose Workshop v6

[autumn]

betathunder

Cinccino

letting them run many powerful entry hazard weak Pokemon

There should be a hyphen between hazard-weak; this is a compound adjective where both 'hazard' and 'weak' combine to describe the Pokemon.

Knock Off lets Cinccino hit Ghost Types Ghost-types like Chandelure, as well as Bronzong, an otherwise problematic wall other problematic walls such as Bronzong. (Changed order; original version reads like Bronzong is a Ghost type. Addition of other Ghost-types or problematic walls may strengthen this sentence)

The original version shouldn't read like Bronzon is a Ghost-type because using 'as well as' more directly separates examples. If you had a sentence like 'It hits Fire-types like Charizard and Moltres as well as Pikachu', the purpose of the 'as well as' is to separate the first list from the second one so it doesn't reas as 'Fire-types like Charizard, Moltres, and Pikachu'.

In this case it's harder to pick up on because the 'Ghost-types like Chandelure' list only has Chandelure in it; if it was'Ghost-types like Chandelure and Gengar as well as Bronzong' it would be a bit easier, but the principle is the same. Ghost-types like Chandelure is one 'list', and 'Bronzong' is the other one.

With your change, the nuance has been altered a bit. The original had Bronzong as a specific example (there's no 'Pokemon like Bronzong', it's just Bronzong on its own). However, the edit now has 'problematic walls like Bronzong', which implies that Bronzong is just an example of the problematic walls category.

There's a difference between 'Pokemon like x' phrasing and just saying 'x'. For example, if you said 'Pokemon like Gholdengo can block Defog with Good as Gold', it would make no sense because there's no other Pokemon like that.

Knock Off lets Cinccino

There's also a small type on Cinccino's name here.

Encore allows Cincinno to capitalize on passive foes that setup set up hazards, boost their stats, or heal up such as Gligar, Registeel, and Sylveon.

The Cinccino name typo is also here - as a tip, if a writer makes an error more than once, using ctrl + f can help make sure you've covered them all.

The first mention of 'hazards' in each paragraph needs to be written out in full as 'entry hazards', but after hat just saying hazards on its own is fine.

Teammates like Diancie, Toxtricity, (AC) and Scyther can work alongside Cinccino to overwhelm shared Steel-type checks like Copperajah and Bronzong, however Fires Fire- and Fightings Fighting-types such as Chandelure, Tauros-Paldea-Aqua Paldean Tauros-W, and Heracross that easily beat these same Steel-types work as well.

The word ‘however' is not a connective in the same way that 'and' 'but' 'or' are, so it can't be used to connect two independent clauses; this creates a comma splice. To fix this, you can use a semicolon in place of a comma (then add a comma after however), or you can use a period and start a new sentence. Only connectives can be used to connect clauses in this way, so other words like 'therefore' 'additionally' also follow this rule.

subjective changes

Considered adding ‘respectively’ after the ‘Gligar, Registeel, Sylveon’ line, since technically Registeel can set up hazards and Sylveon can boost its stats. However, I think the overall point of the sentence is that Cinccino can punish passivity regardless of who uses it, so I decided to not suggest that change.

Respectively has a very specific usage; it means that item 1 in list 1 only applies to item 1 in list 2, item 2 in list 1 only applies to item 2 in list 2, etc. There has to be the same number of items in each list for it to work, and there can't be something that applies to multiple items in the other list.

In this case, you don't know if respectively is true, as like you said, Registeel can do 2/3, Gligar can do 2/3, Sylveon can do 2/3. Adding the respectively would be a content change, which is a big no for GP.

Considered changing '...beat these same Steel-types work as well' to '...beat these same Steel-types also works', but upon reflection this felt like a more personal change than anything.

Yes, that suggestion is a good example of a lateral change. A lateral change is where you go from one correct thing -> a second correct thing without any real prose justification other than 'it sounds better to me'. If you can't pinpoint an issue (either a grammar error or a prose issue like clarity / repetition / fluff / redundancy etc), then you're changing the voice of the writer for no material gain.

For now I plan to treat these situations as "do not make a change unless it is absolutely necessary for clarity," but I would still appreciate feedback on whether or not those changes would be approved.

There are other reasons that you'd make changes to the writing, and you can find some explanations on my beginner notes document in the prose errors section and in the prose guide.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zdePdwuZLzDPcKv7v_t-V3cOIdmG5kdzoN-F-ry2uWI/edit?tab=t.0

Post in thread 'Guide to the GP Process for Aspiring GPers [new amcheckers please read!]'

Dec 24, 2024

mari's guide to subjective changes

One of the trickier parts of grammar and prose is the prose part of the process. While grammar for the most part deals with more objective changes that can be taught pretty straightforwardly, the prose part deals with larger sentence structure matters and often has overlap with the more subjective part of the process. This means that you're relying a bit more on instinct here and need to play more by broad guidelines than hard rules; however, there are a few ways in which we can make things clearer.

Overall, the main thing to keep in mind is...

• Lumari

• 
• 

 

[Ember Celica]

add remove comment

Enamorus

Enamorus-I Enamorus is a top tier Tera Captain which that should always be made one when drafted. Tera Fairy further boosts its STABs Fairy-type STAB moves, (AC) making it extremely hard to check (RC) even when it is not using damage boosting damage-boosting items, (AC) and giving gives it the benefit of taking less damage from Stealth rocks Rock. Types Tera types like Fire and Ground boosts it's boost its coverage moves further (RC) while flipping some of it's its weaknesses. Tera Water, Poison, (AC) and Steel allow you Enamourus to kill opponents you KO foes it otherwise would not, especially on set up set-up sets. Ghost and Electric gives give it extra coverage via Tera Blast, and handles handle certain attacks better. Stellar type Stellar-type Tera Blast deals 80 damage to opponents and hits them all neutrally which synergizes well with Contrary and Choice Scarf, (AC) boosting Enamorus-I's Enamorus's offensive stats while dealing massive damage to all opponents foes reliably.

 

[EthanLac]

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Weavile

Weavile is a staple on Ice-teams Ice teams thanks to its incredible Speed tier and high Attack. Knock Off denies passive recovery on opponents foes like Corviknight or and Dondozo by removing their Leftovers, (AC) and it prevents chip damage from opponents foes like Great Tusk and Skarmory by Knocking Off removing their Rocky Helmet. At +2, (AC) Triple Axel secures the OHKO on foes like the Ogerpon forms formes, Kyurem, Walking Wake, Ceruledge, (AC) and Goodra-Hisui Hisuian Goodra. Furthermore, it Weavile is able to check defensive Great Tusk, Iron Treads, and Non non-Choice Scarf Gholdengo, (AC) which who can prove to be formidable foes for Ice Type teams. Ice Shard serves as a reliable countermeasure against faster foes like Choice Scarf Enamorus, Landorus-I Landorus, and Roaring Moon. At +2, it is also able to OHKO Dragapult (RC) while also OHKOing Garchomp without making contact which avoids chip taking chip damage from its Rough Skin.

 

[adorluigi]

Ember Celica

Copyedit

Enamorus-I Enamorus is a top tier Tera Captain which that should always be made one when drafted.

"top tier" is a compound adjective that modifies "Tera Captain", so it should be hyphenated like "top-tier Tera Captain". it's similar to "damage-boosting items" that you caught after
you can look at this grammarly article for more reading if you want

Tera Water, Poison, (AC) and Steel allow you Enamourus to kill opponents you KO foes it otherwise would not, especially on set up set-up sets.

1: good catch on the "you"! but you misspelled Enamorus :P
2: "set-up" refers to pokemon that have already set up; you wanna use setup (noun) here to refer to those that set up (verb)

Ghost and Electric gives give it extra coverage via Tera Blast, and handles handle certain attacks better.

1: make sure to mention "Tera"
2: the comma shouldn't be there; commas should only be added before "and" in a list of 3 items or more: "Pokemon like Hypno, Blastoise, and Feraligatr" or if an "and" is connecting two independent clauses "Mew beats Lucario, and it helps its team with hazards"
also should be "and lets it handle"

Stellar type Stellar-type Tera Blast deals 80 damage to opponents and hits them all neutrally which synergizes well with Contrary and Choice Scarf, (AC) boosting Enamorus-I's Enamorus's offensive stats while dealing massive damage to all opponents foes reliably.

great dex info removal here! only comment is "Stellar-type Tera Blast" is formatted "Tera Blast Stellar"

all in all, you caught a good deal of stuff, well done!

EthanLac

Copyedit

great work with these fixes as usual!! I just have one comment:

At +2, it is also able

this was probably fine to keep

 

[betathunder]

add remove comment

Serperior

Normalium-ZNormalium Z Serperior utilises utilizes Leaf Storm boosted Z-Hyper Beam Storm-boosted Breakneck Blitz (It should be obvious that Normalium Z is meant to boost Hyper Beam and not Hidden Power) to bypass most of its checks, namely Mega-Venusaur Mega Venusaur, Amoonguss, Mega-Latias Mega Latias, Iron Moth, Hydrapple, (AC) and or Victini. Hidden Power [Fire] allows Serperior to chip damage Aegislash and Celesteela, the only checks unfazed by a boosted Breakneck Blitz, slowly wearing them down into range of +2 or +4 HP Hidden Power Fire in the late game late-game (Reading aloud this makes sense to me, but for some reason I still feel like its incorrect. I think its because late-game (per the guide) isn't a noun, so I am unsure what noun it is modifying in this sentence? My best guess is 'range', but please advise ). Synthesis allows you Serperior to switch in to Rotom W into Rotom-W and Ting Lu Ting-Lu throughout longer games without being worn down, abusing these giving Serperior more opportunities to chip away at its checks. (This was the best way I could think of to combine these two clauses without overly restructuring the original sentence) Glare eases the MU matchup against Aegislash and Celesteela by allowing you Serperior to paralyse paralyze them (RC) and attempt to remove them. Normalium-Z Normalium Z Serperior is only seen on Webs Sticky Web and other offense teams, (AC) as its aggressive playstyle and lackluster bulk leaves it unable to attempt to setup set up multiple times against teams with revenge-killers revenge killers like Greninja, Iron Boulder, or Mega-Aerodactyl and Mega Aerodactyl. Sticky Webs slow Web slows down the first two, (AC) but answers to Mega-Aerodactyl Mega Aerodactyl like Air Balloon Aegislash, Azumarill, Scizor, (AC) and Choice Scarf Mienshao are recommended given its ability to dodge the hazard Sticky Web immunity.

Other Comments

I put most of my main comments in the text above, but I'd like to move onto real amchecks if you guys think I'm up for it :D

 

[a blue banana]

betathunder

Serperior feedback

Normalium Z Serperior utilises utilizes Leaf Storm boosted Z-Hyper Beam Storm-boosted Breakneck Blitz (It should be obvious that Normalium Z is meant to boost Hyper Beam and not Hidden Power) to bypass most of its checks, namely Mega-Venusaur Mega Venusaur, Amoonguss, Mega-Latias Mega Latias, Iron Moth, Hydrapple, (AC) and or Victini.

You fixed this sentence perfectly, but just to make sure, your comment was meant to be addressed by someone who will provide feedback to this amcheck, right?

If this one was meant to be read by the original writer, you may want to be a bit mindful on how you word your comments in actual amchecks. Not every person will have time to read or memorize the GP standards for writing analyses, and I think it's better to comment directly and neutrally rather than in a way that might come off as a negative remark.

Hidden Power [Fire] allows Serperior to chip damage Aegislash and Celesteela, the only checks unfazed by a boosted Breakneck Blitz, slowly wearing them down into range of +2 or +4 HP Hidden Power Fire in the late game late-game (Reading aloud this makes sense to me, but for some reason I still feel like its incorrect. I think its because late-game (per the guide) isn't a noun, so I am unsure what noun it is modifying in this sentence? My best guess is 'range', but please advise ).

- "chip" is a valid verb for that part of the sentence (i.e. "to break a small part", in this context it would be "to slightly damage"), so it didn't really need changing. You only would need to correct "chip" if it was used as a noun to mean "small amount of damage", where it should be changed to "chip damage".
- "late-game" can be used as either an adjective or an adverb, so your changes are correct.

Synthesis allows you Serperior to switch in to Rotom W into Rotom-W and Ting Lu Ting-Lu throughout longer games without being worn down, abusing these giving Serperior more opportunities to chip away at its checks. (This was the best way I could think of to combine these two clauses without overly restructuring the original sentence)

Your way of changing "abusing" is fine, but I think a better way to do so while preserving more of the author's writing is to change the original wording to something like "letting it exploit these opportunities". The word "abuse" can't be used in analyses, but you should be fine using synonyms that mean "to take advantage of", like "exploit". Additionally, changing the demonstrative adjective from "these" to a general one like "more" will no longer make "opportunities" reference the first part of the sentence.

Normalium-Z Normalium Z Serperior is only seen on Webs Sticky Web and other offense teams, (AC) as its aggressive playstyle and lackluster bulk leaves it unable to attempt to setup set up multiple times against teams with revenge-killers revenge killers like Greninja, Iron Boulder, or Mega-Aerodactyl and Mega Aerodactyl.

- The highlighted part is a plural subject, so the verb should be "leave" instead.

Sticky Webs slow Web slows down the first two, (AC) but answers to Mega-Aerodactyl Mega Aerodactyl like Air Balloon Aegislash, Azumarill, Scizor, (AC) and Choice Scarf Mienshao are recommended given its ability to dodge the hazard Sticky Web immunity.

- I think your changes to the ending phrasing are good because it makes the wording more clearer to viewers, but I feel like leaving the phrasing alone would also be valid because it's understandable as is and not too wordy. When making subjective changes like this, I think one question to ask yourself is, "Would a newer player be able to understand the author's original writing?"

Despite my commentary, your check is very solid! Most of my comments are mostly nitpicks or things to keep in mind as you gain experience in copyediting. I think you should be fine moving onto real amchecks if you're comfortable enough, and you should strongly consider signing up for tutoring if you plan to do so.

 

[KamenAlliterator]

So......I did this after struggling almost 2 hours reading the guide but let me know how I did.

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Meowscarada check

Choice Scarf Meowscarada with Sword of Ruin is a top-notch offensive pivot and revenge-killer revenge killer against set-up sweepers like Polteageist, as well as other Scarfers Choice Scarf users like Sandy-Shocks Sandy Shocks. (Please do keep in mind whenever you adress a choiced item, that you use its full name. Also, revenge killer and Sandy Shocks do not have hyphens.) On top of that, Meowscarada can potentially clean in the late-game after using Knock Off + U-turn to sufficiently weaken checks like Corviknight and Scream Tail. Trick is an immediate and sure-fire way for Meowscarada to shut down it's its checks, (AC) while Knock Off paired with Spikes are is good at chipping the grounded ones threats into KO range. Early game breakers Early-game wallbreakers such as Dragonite, Chi Yu Chi-Yu, and Greninja can punch huge holes into the foe's opponents's team so that Meowscarada can sweep (RC). (AP) In return, Meowscarada cripples assists Dragonite with crippling Dondozo and Corviknight with its STABs for the first and offers pivot support for the latter two Greninja and Chi-Yu. (Changed the wording around this sentence so that we can address what Meowscarada does for possible allies, and how it can break Corviknight and Dondozo Greninja and Chi-Yu) Corviknight is a solid Defogger and pivot that also switches into priority attacks like First Impression, -ate Extreme Speed, and Ice Shard as well, which frees up allows Meowscarada to pivot more freely throughout the game. (I'm almost certain that Ate is lowercased and i removed as well and frees up so that it doesn't look like we're adding extra words.

autumn a blue banana sunny004 fixed and revised with the formatter.

 

[autumn]

RodentTamer

Meowscarada

Choice Scarf Meowscarada with Sword of Ruin is a top-notch offensive pivot and revenge-killer revenge killer against set-up sweepers like Polteageist, as well as other Scarfers Choice Scarf users like Sandy-Shocks Sandy Shocks. (Please do keep in mind whenever you adress a choiced item, that you use its full name. Also, revenge killer and Sandy Shocks do not have hyphens.)

• Set up is the verb (to set up, x can set up on y) and setup is the noun (setup sweeper, setup move etc). This should be setup sweepers.
• When you make comments, remember that you're talking to a writer. You don't need to explain rules to them or tell them to keep something in mind especially as an amchecker because it can come off as rude/direct. Making the changes and leaving comments when you have questions for the writer is a better approach.

In return, Meowscarada cripples assists Dragonite with crippling Dondozo and Corviknight with its STABs for the first and offers pivot support for the latter two Greninja and Chi-Yu. (Changed the wording around this sentence so that we can address what Meowscarada does for possible allies, and how it can break Corviknight and Dondozo Greninja and Chi-Yu)

• Because you have added 'assists Dragonite' to the sentence, you no longer need 'the first' because that phrase is what told you that it referred tp Dragonite.
• There was nothing incorrect with 'latter two'. That phrasing already addresses what your comment is suggesting. Latter definition = denoting the second or second mentioned of two people or things. The change needed would be to change 'first' to 'former' to follow that former / latter pattern - this would also mean you didn't need to add the part about Dragonite.
• STABs should be 'STAB moves', 'STAB attacks' etc. STABs is not an accepted term.

Corviknight is a solid Defogger and pivot that also switches into priority attacks like First Impression, -ate Extreme Speed, and Ice Shard as well, which frees up allows Meowscarada to pivot more freely throughout the game. (I'm almost certain that Ate is lowercased and i removed as well and frees up so that it doesn't look like we're adding extra words.

• Similarly to above, comments are for a writer, so saying 'I'm pretty sure this is correct' will just make them less confident. Just make the changes, and feedback will address it.
• Sticking to the original words used won't 'look like we're adding extra words' because those words were already there. If you added them in yourself that would be true, but that is what the original writing had. Like I have mentioned a few times in the forum PM, you want to preserve as much of the original writing as possible.

Also as a note, now you're fully using the format, tool, you put { and } around any text to make that into a comment. Feel free to do another exercise now, but just one at a time.

 

[KamenAlliterator]

Hi! add remove comment

Enamorus

Enamorus-I Enamorus is a top tier tera captain which top-tier Tera Captain and should always be made one when drafted. Tera Fairy further boosts its STABs Fairy-type STAB moves, making it extremely hard to check (RC) even when it is not using damage boosting damage-boosting items, (AC) and giving it the benefit of taking less damage from Stealth Rocks. Types Other Tera types like Fire and Ground boosts it's boost Enamorus's coverage moves further (RC) while flipping some of it's its weaknesses. Water, Poison, (AC) and Steel allow you Enamorus to kill KO foes opponents you it otherwise would not, especially on set up setup sets. Tera Ghost and Electric gives it extra coverage, and allows it to better handle via Tera Blast, and handles certain attacks better. Stellar type. If Enamorus runs Tera Blast deals 80 damage to opponents and hits them all neutrally which Stellar, Tera Blast synergizes well with Contrary and Choice Scarf, (AC) boosting Enamorus-I's its offensive stats while dealing massive damage to all opponents reliably hitting all opposing Pokemon for good neutral damage.

autumn sunny004

 

[sunny004]

RodentTamer

Enamorus

Enamorus-I Enamorus is a top tier tera captain which top-tier Tera Captain and should always be made one when drafted.

- Good!

Tera Fairy further boosts its STABs Fairy-type STAB moves, making it extremely hard to check (RC) even when it is not using damage boosting damage-boosting items, (AC) and giving it the benefit of taking less damage from Stealth Rocks.

- Adding the comma before "and" is incorrect here, because the subsequent clause is dependent (i.e., it cannot stand alone as its own sentence.)
- The name of the move is "Stealth Rock," not "Stealth Rocks"
- Rest of the changes are good! Nice hyphen catches.

Types Other Tera types like Fire and Ground boosts it's boost Enamorus's coverage moves further (RC) while flipping some of it's its weaknesses.

- Good!

Water, Poison, (AC) and Steel allow you Enamorus to kill KO foes opponents you it otherwise would not, especially on set up setup sets.

- I would have put "Tera" before Water here, especially since you do the same in the subsequent sentence. Good changes otherwise!

Tera Ghost and Electric gives it extra coverage, and allows it to better handle via Tera Blast, and handles certain attacks better. Stellar type.

- You should not have removed "via Tera Blast" here, as that is a content change. Without Tera Blast, it is unclear how the extra coverage is given with those types to a new reader.
- Because "Tera Ghost and Electric" is a plural subject, you needed to correct some of the verbs here for subject-verb agreement purposes. Specifically, "gives" should have been "give," and "allows" should have been "allow."
- The comma that you added before "and" is incorrect for the same reason mentioned above—the subsequent clause is dependent.
- Additionally, for that comma it would have been better to add a (AC) flag, as it is hard to see.

If Enamorus runs Tera Blast deals 80 damage to opponents and hits them all neutrally which Stellar, Tera Blast synergizes well with Contrary and Choice Scarf, (AC) boosting Enamorus-I's its offensive stats while dealing massive damage to all opponents reliably hitting all opposing Pokemon for good neutral damage.

- It would have been better to replace the entire underlined portion with "Tera Blast Stellar," as the portion you deleted is dex info and just saying "Tera Blast Stellar" implies that Enamorus is running it anyway
- The rest is good!

 

[KamenAlliterator]

Hi. Ice cat is ready

Evil meow

Chien Pao Chien-Pao appreciates Mandibuzz defogging away using Defog to get rid of entry hazards to prevent it from being worn down by hazards them. It Mandibuzz can also bring Chien Pao Chien-Pao in safely using a slow U-turn. Mandibuzz is a great switch in switch-in to Fighting Fighting-type attacks from enemies like Choice Scarf Sneasler and Choice Scarf Great Tusk, (AC) both of which Chien Pao Chien-Pao is are extremely vulnerable to, as well as being capable of checking set up setup sweepers like Azumarill or and Scizor with Foul Play. In return, Chien-Pao deals with opponents foes like Sandy Shocks or and Baxcalibur,(AC) who can both cause problems for Mandibuzz. Kingambit has impressive offensive synergy with Chien Pao Chien-Pao due to its neutrality to Fairy-type attacks, being able allowing it to eliminate opponents foes like Hatterene with Iron Head(RC) and Choice Scarf Flutter Mane with Sucker Punch after rocks chip damage from Stealth Rock. In return, Chien-Pao Chien Pao hits threats to Kingambit like DD like Dragon Dance Dragonite, Iron Treads, Landorus-Therian Landorus-T,(AC) and defensive Gliscor for it.

autumn sunny004 adorluigi

 

[a blue banana]

RodentTamer

Chien-Pao

Chien Pao Chien-Pao appreciates Mandibuzz defogging away using Defog to get rid of entry hazards to prevent it from being worn down by hazards them. It Mandibuzz can also bring Chien Pao Chien-Pao in safely using a slow U-turn. Mandibuzz is a great switch in switch-in to...

- Good job on spotting the error with using Defog as a verb.
- I think your edit on changing "It" to "Mandibuzz" in the second sentence is reasonable because that helps eliminate any possible confusion with the usage of "it" in the first sentence, and additionally, the subject of the sentence switches from Chien-Pao to Mandibuzz. That being said, leaving "It" unchanged is probably better, since the way the sentence is worded makes it easy for readers to deduce what "It" is, and the main subject of this section of the paragraph is Mandibuzz.

Mandibuzz is a great switch in switch-in to Fighting Fighting-type attacks from enemies like Choice Scarf Sneasler and Choice Scarf Great Tusk, (AC) both of which Chien Pao Chien-Pao is are extremely vulnerable to, as well as being capable of checking set up setup sweepers like Azumarill or and Scizor with Foul Play.

"Chien-Pao" is a singular noun, so it should be "is" instead of "are". It's best to think of the interjection as "both of which [are Pokemon] Chien-Pao is extremely vulnerable to".

In return, Chien-Pao deals with opponents foes like Sandy Shocks or and Baxcalibur,(AC) who can both cause problems for Mandibuzz.

Pokemon are referred to with "that" and "which" instead of "who".

Kingambit has impressive offensive synergy with Chien Pao Chien-Pao due to its neutrality to Fairy-type attacks, being able allowing it to eliminate opponents foes like Hatterene with Iron Head(RC) and Choice Scarf Flutter Mane with Sucker Punch after rocks chip damage from Stealth Rock.

While there's nothing essentially wrong with your edit, you can replace "rocks" with just "Stealth Rock". Generally, phrases like "after Stealth Rock" and "with a layer of Spikes" don't often need to elaborate to readers that the writer means the chip damage taken from such hazards.

In return, Chien-Pao Chien Pao hits threats to Kingambit like DD like Dragon Dance Dragonite, Iron Treads, Landorus-Therian Landorus-T,(AC) and defensive Gliscor for it.

- Good job on adding a comma after "In return". If you're using zrp000's CC-diff program to help out with checking, you may want to manually look through your check and add "(AC)" for commas the program doesn't automatically add to.
- In my opinion, it is probably better to leave "hits threats to Kingambit" as is rather than change it to "hits threats...for it". While the meaning of the sentence hasn't changed, "threats to Kingambit" is easier for readers to understand that these foes threaten it because the words are grouped together; moving the prepositional phrase to the end of the sentence may make it harder to get the connection immediately.

This is a good check otherwise, well done!

 

[KamenAlliterator]

Weavile moment

Fast Ice Cat

Weavile is a staple on Ice-teams Ice-type teams thanks to its incredible Speed tier and high Attack. Knock Off denies passive recovery on opponents like Corviknight or and Dondozo by removing their Leftovers, (AC) and it prevents chip damage from opponents foes like Great Tusk and Skarmory by Knocking Off removing their Rocky Helmet. At +2, (AC) Triple Axel secures the OHKO on foes like the Ogerpon forms formes, Kyurem, Walking Wake, Ceruledge, (AC) and Goodra-Hisui Hisuian Goodra. Furthermore, it is able to check defensive Great Tusk, Iron Treads, and Non non-Choice Scarf Gholdengo, (AC) which who can prove to be formidable foes for Ice Type Ice-Type teams. Ice Shard serves as a reliable countermeasure against faster foes like Choice Scarf Enamorus, Landorus-I Landorus, and Roaring Moon. At +2, it is also able to OHKO Dragapult (RC) while also OHKOing Garchomp without making contact, (AC) which avoids chip damage from its ability Rough Skin.

 

[autumn]

RodentTamer

Weavile

Weavile is a staple on Ice-teams Ice-type teams

Ice teams (without a hyphen) is correct. ice-type teams is also correct, but when you're making edits, it's best to make the edit that changes the least, so all that was needed here was to remove the hyphen.

Knock Off denies passive recovery on opponents like Corviknight or and Dondozo by removing their Leftovers, (AC) and it prevents chip damage from opponents foes like Great Tusk and Skarmory

Make sure you're being consistent with edits. You changed the second 'opponents' to 'foes' but left the first one. On the beginner notes document, there's a section at the bottom on using ctrl + f to proofread, which will help you by highlighting errors / words where there could be an error for you to more easily find them. That will be especially important if you're looking to do bigger amchecks.

formidable foes for Ice Type Ice-Type teams.

This change introduced an error - the word 'type' is not capitalised. Make sure to proofread your own additions as part of the checking process too,

 

[KamenAlliterator]

Hi.

Ice Horse

Choice Specs Calyrex-Shadow Calyrex-S is an excellent breaker who independantly wallbreaker that independently breaks through most of its usual switch ins switch-ins with accurate prediction. Grass Knot kills KOes Arceus-Water and Arceus-Ground, (AC) 2HKOes Ting-Lu, and in one hit after hazard damage. Grass Knot also 2HKOs Ting Lu. Grass Knot pressures neutral targets like Arceus-Normal Arceus as well. Psychic 2HKOes Arceus-Normal Arceus but Psyshock is an alternative STAB move that 2HKOs 2HKOes offensive Ho Oh Ho-Oh and hits Pokémon such as Blissey. Trick + Choice Specs debilitate Calyrex-Shadow's debilitates Calyrex-S’ checks like Ho Oh Ho-Oh, Ting Lu Ting-Lu, and Arceus by removing the longevity their Item items grant them,(AC) and forcing them to attack. Tera Ghost Astral Barrage 2HKOs Ting Lu 2HKOes Ting-Lu with less chip damage, and 2HKOs Ho Oh Ho-Oh, and defensive Arceus forms formes after Calyrex-Shadow loses its Choice Specs. Tera Grass gives Grass Knot a good chance of scoring a an OHKO on Ting Lu Ting-Lu after entry hazard damage, and lets it 2HKO Arceus. Tera Normal turns Calyrex-Shadow into gives Calyrex-S a Ghost Ghost-type immunity, preventing revenging revenge kill attempts from opposing Calyrex-Shadows Calyrex-S. All 3 three Tera types also allow you it to survive attacks like Ting Lu's Ting-Lu's Payback and Arceus' Shadow Claw, though the latter 2 two make it vulnerable to Extreme Killer Arceus' ESpeed’ Extreme Speed.

 

[Kanha Greninja]

add remove comment

Kingambit

Black Glasses + tera dark Tera Dark should exclusively be used with Kowtow Cleave, (AC) as these propel Kingambit's offensive pressure; with 5 five Supreme Overlord boosts, Kingambit can reach feats like 2HKOing Dondozo with Kowtow Cleave and 1HKOing OHKOing Walking-WakeWalking Wake, (AC) and at +2, it can kill Dragonite through Multiscale with Sucker Punch. Air Balloon allows Kingambit to setup set up on would be would-be checks in Landorus-T and most Great Tusks Great Tusk variants, (RC) ;(ASC) become a it is also a sturdy switch in switch-in to offense threats while its Air Balloon is intact, (AC) (Without Air Baloon intact its not a sturdy switch-in anymore) like Kyurem, Roaring Moon, and Dragonite, (AC) who rely on their Ground-type coverage to hit it, (RC) ;(ASC) and its item helps Kingambit gain an immunity to Spikes that would normally limit Kingambit before it gets going. Kingambits Kingambit's potential (what kind of potential, please specify, even though I know it's offensive, others might not) and defensive utility in the late game make it a nearly near staple on offensive archetypes, (AC) from Bulky bulky to Hyper hyper Offense, (AC) while still fitting on Balance. Physical teammates like Ogerpon-Wellspring, Zamazenta, and Swords Dance Valiant can overwhelm shared checks like Zanazenta Zamazenta, Landorus-Therian, and Dondozo. Dark Type offensive Offensive threat threats in Darkrai, and Samurott-Hisui Hisuian Samurott form a Darkspam Dark-Type core with Kingambit to overwhelm Dark resists Dark-resistant Pokemon like Zamazenta and tera Tera Fairy users like Gholdemgo Gholdengo and Moltres together.

 

[a blue banana]

RodentTamer

Calyrex

Grass Knot kills KOes Arceus-Water and Arceus-Ground, (AC) 2HKOes Ting-Lu, and in one hit after hazard damage. Grass Knot also 2HKOs Ting Lu. Grass Knot pressures neutral targets like Arceus-Normal Arceus as well.

- While combining the points on Grass Knot was good, you omitted the important part on the Arceus formes requiring the hazard damage for Grass Knot to OHKO.
- Good job on catching the errors in "Ting Lu" and "Ho Oh".

Psychic 2HKOes Arceus-Normal Arceus but Psyshock is an alternative STAB move that 2HKOs 2HKOes offensive Ho Oh Ho-Oh and hits Pokémon such as Blissey.

A comma is required before "but", as this sentence is a combination of two independent clauses.

Trick + Choice Specs debilitate Calyrex-Shadow's debilitates Calyrex-S’ checks like Ho Oh Ho-Oh, Ting Lu Ting-Lu, and Arceus by removing the longevity their Item items grant them,(AC) and forcing them to attack.

- "+ Choice Specs" should've been kept, since the item choice may be important to why Caly-S can hamper its checks in the first place.
- While you did correct "Calyrex-Shadow" down to "Calyrex-S", Calyrex-S is considered a singular proper noun, so it should be "Calyrex-S's" instead of "Calyrex-S'".
- Also note that for purposes of uploading to the Smogon dex, you should use the ASCII apostrophe (') instead of the curly one (’).
- The comma after "items grant them" is unnecessary. You only add commas in this case if there was a list of three or more noun phrases.

Tera Ghost Astral Barrage 2HKOs Ting Lu 2HKOes Ting-Lu with less chip damage, and 2HKOs Ho Oh Ho-Oh, and defensive Arceus forms formes after Calyrex-Shadow loses its Choice Specs.

- I'd would leave a comment asking what "less chip damage" is referring to, as there isn't any other move that's being explicitly compared to Tera Ghost Astral Barrage.
- It'd be better to keep the Ho-Oh and Arceus calcs separate from the Ting-Lu calc and say that Astral Barrage outright 2HKOes them even w/o Specs. The problem with your edits is that "loses its Choice Specs" now becomes ambiguous on which Pokemon it is referring to.
- Make sure to keep your editing colors consistent. You used two different colors for removals as well as two different colors for additions later on in the paragraph.

Tera Grass gives Grass Knot a good chance of scoring a an OHKO on Ting Lu Ting-Lu after entry hazard damage, and lets it 2HKO Arceus.

The comma after "damage" should've been removed.

Tera Normal turns Calyrex-Shadow into gives Calyrex-S a Ghost Ghost-type immunity, preventing revenging revenge kill attempts from opposing Calyrex-Shadows Calyrex-S.

You did the correct choice in changing the verb regarding Tera Normal's Ghost immunity; however, "Ghost immunity" is a valid phrase when referring to type resistances, weaknesses, or immunities.

All 3 three Tera types also allow you it to survive attacks like Ting Lu's Ting-Lu's Payback and Arceus' Shadow Claw, though the latter 2 two make it vulnerable to Extreme Killer Arceus' ESpeed’ Extreme Speed.

- Good job on catching the numerical forms of the small numbers.
- Similar to "Calyrex-S's", "Arceus'" should be corrected to "Arceus's".

---

Kanha Greninja I might point out some bits of text by highlighting them.

Kingambit

with 5 five Supreme Overlord boosts, Kingambit can reach feats like 2HKOing Dondozo with Kowtow Cleave and 1HKOing OHKOing Walking-WakeWalking Wake, (AC) and at +2, it can kill Dragonite through Multiscale with Sucker Punch.

- Good job on changing the numerical "5" to its alphabetical form.
- "kill" is never allowed in analyses and should always be substituted with "KO" and the like. "Revenge kill" is an exception.
- I'm unsure why "at +2" is in black, which makes it hard for readers using Smogon's dark theme to see it. Make sure to use the "Remove formatting" button (eraser icon) before making any edits.
- Your edits to Sucker Punch's calculations changed the meaning of the sentence entirely, which should be avoided. The original clause states that with the ability's boosts, Kingambit's Sucker Punch can OHKO Walking Wake outright and Dragonite at +2 even with Multiscale active. If you're unsure on how to parse the author's sentence, you should either contact them directly or leave a comment to elaborate further on what they meant.

Air Balloon allows Kingambit to setup set up on would be would-be checks in Landorus-T and most Great Tusks Great Tusk variants, (RC) ;(ASC) become a it is also a sturdy switch in switch-in to offense threats while its Air Balloon is intact, (AC) (Without Air Baloon intact its not a sturdy switch-in anymore) like Kyurem, Roaring Moon, and Dragonite, (AC) who rely on their Ground-type coverage to hit it, (RC) ;(ASC) and its item helps Kingambit gain an immunity to Spikes that would normally limit Kingambit before it gets going.

- When referring to Pokemon, "that" and "which" should be used instead of "who".
- "offense threats" should be "offensive threats" here, as the examples listed are offensive in general and may not necessarily be found on offense teams only.
- Your removal of "an" is unnecessary, as "immunity" can be used as a countable noun.
- "that" should be changed to "which", as the clause after "Spikes" just elaborates on why the hazard limits Kingambit instead of narrowing down a specific type of Spikes.
- While you did change the commas to semicolons for the list, you also turned each point of the list into its own independent clause. This makes the sentence actually harder to read because there are now four independent sentences the reader has to go through.
- I don't think elaborating that Kingambit requires Air Balloon to reliably switch into the given offensive threats is necessary, as the way the sentence is set up generally assumes that the item is intact.

Kingambits Kingambit's potential (what kind of potential, please specify, even though I know it's offensive, others might not) and defensive utility in the late game make it a nearly near staple on offensive archetypes, (AC) from Bulky bulky to Hyper hyper Offense, (AC) while still fitting on Balance.

- Any team archetype should be lowercase, i.e. "bulky offense", "hyper offense", "balance", "rain".
- Terms like "late-game" and "early-game" should be used only as adjectives or adverbs, not nouns, so phrases like "in the late game" should be changed accordingly.

Physical teammates like Ogerpon-Wellspring, Zamazenta, and Swords Dance Valiant can overwhelm shared checks like Zanazenta Zamazenta, Landorus-Therian, and Dondozo.

GP members follow a list of acceptable names for different formes of Pokemon, which can be found here in the first section. In this case, "Ogerpon-Wellspring" and "Landorus-Therian" should be "Ogerpon-W" and "Landorus-T".

Dark Type offensive Offensive threat threats in Darkrai, and Samurott-Hisui Hisuian Samurott form a Darkspam Dark-Type core with Kingambit to overwhelm Dark resists Dark-resistant Pokemon like Zamazenta and tera Tera Fairy users like Gholdemgo Gholdengo and Moltres together.

- The comma after "Darkrai" should be removed. Commas are only required for a list of three items or more.
- "Dark-type" is a compound noun/adjective, so the "t" in "type" shouldn't be capitalized.
- While you did catch the incorrect term for type spam and "Dark-type core" is a valid phrase, it is better to say "Dark-type spam core" to keep the author's original wording.

 

[KamenAlliterator]

Hi. Grass Snek is ready

Grass Snek

Normalium-Z Serperior utilises utilizes Leaf Storm boosted Z-Hyper Beam Storm-boosted Breakneck Blitz to bypass most of its checks, namely Mega-Venusaur Mega Venusaur, Amoonguss, Mega-Latias Mega Latias, Iron Moth, Hydrapple, (AC) and or Victini. Hidden Power [Fire] allows Serperior to chip Aegislash and Celesteela, the only checks unfazed by a boosted Breakneck Blitz, slowly wearing them down into range of +2 or +4 HP Hidden Power Fire in the late game late-game. Synthesis allows you Serperior to switch in to Rotom W into Rotom-W and Ting Lu Ting-Lu throughout longer games without being worn down, abusing these allowing Serperior several opportunities to chip away at its checks. (I wasn’t sure what you meant by abusing. Are you be referring to the many opportunities Serperior has to chip its checks with Synthesis? If so, we should combine these two clauses, and change the wording a teeny bit) Glare eases the MU matchups against Aegislash and Celesteela by allowing you to paralyse paralyze them, and attempt to remove them. Normalium-Z Normalium Z Serperior is only seen on Sticky Webs and other offense teams, (AC) as its aggressive playstyle and lackluster bulk leaves leave it unable to attempt to setup multiple times against teams with revenge-killers revenge killers like Greninja, Iron Boulder, or Mega-Aerodactyl Mega Aerodactyl. Sticky Webs slow slows down the first two, (AC) but answers to Mega-Aerodactyl Mega Aerodactyl like Air Balloon Aegislash, Azumarill, Scizor, (AC) and Choice Scarf Mienshao are recommended given its ability to dodge the hazard Sticky Webs altogether.

 

[KamenAlliterator]

RodentTamer

Calyrex

- While combining the points on Grass Knot was good, you omitted the important part on the Arceus formes requiring the hazard damage for Grass Knot to OHKO.
- Good job on catching the errors in "Ting Lu" and "Ho Oh".


A comma is required before "but", as this sentence is a combination of two independent clauses.


- "+ Choice Specs" should've been kept, since the item choice may be important to why Caly-S can hamper its checks in the first place.
- While you did correct "Calyrex-Shadow" down to "Calyrex-S", Calyrex-S is considered a singular proper noun, so it should be "Calyrex-S's" instead of "Calyrex-S'".
- Also note that for purposes of uploading to the Smogon dex, you should use the ASCII apostrophe (') instead of the curly one (’).
- The comma after "items grant them" is unnecessary. You only add commas in this case if there was a list of three or more noun phrases.


- I'd would leave a comment asking what "less chip damage" is referring to, as there isn't any other move that's being explicitly compared to Tera Ghost Astral Barrage.
- It'd be better to keep the Ho-Oh and Arceus calcs separate from the Ting-Lu calc and say that Astral Barrage outright 2HKOes them even w/o Specs. The problem with your edits is that "loses its Choice Specs" now becomes ambiguous on which Pokemon it is referring to.
- Make sure to keep your editing colors consistent. You used two different colors for removals as well as two different colors for additions later on in the paragraph.


The comma after "damage" should've been removed.


You did the correct choice in changing the verb regarding Tera Normal's Ghost immunity; however, "Ghost immunity" is a valid phrase when referring to type resistances, weaknesses, or immunities.


- Good job on catching the numerical forms of the small numbers.
- Similar to "Calyrex-S's", "Arceus'" should be corrected to "Arceus's".

---

Kanha Greninja I might point out some bits of text by highlighting them.

Kingambit

- Good job on changing the numerical "5" to its alphabetical form.
- "kill" is never allowed in analyses and should always be substituted with "KO" and the like. "Revenge kill" is an exception.
- I'm unsure why "at +2" is in black, which makes it hard for readers using Smogon's dark theme to see it. Make sure to use the "Remove formatting" button (eraser icon) before making any edits.
- Your edits to Sucker Punch's calculations changed the meaning of the sentence entirely, which should be avoided. The original clause states that with the ability's boosts, Kingambit's Sucker Punch can OHKO Walking Wake outright and Dragonite at +2 even with Multiscale active. If you're unsure on how to parse the author's sentence, you should either contact them directly or leave a comment to elaborate further on what they meant.


- When referring to Pokemon, "that" and "which" should be used instead of "who".
- "offense threats" should be "offensive threats" here, as the examples listed are offensive in general and may not necessarily be found on offense teams only.
- Your removal of "an" is unnecessary, as "immunity" can be used as a countable noun.
- "that" should be changed to "which", as the clause after "Spikes" just elaborates on why the hazard limits Kingambit instead of narrowing down a specific type of Spikes.
- While you did change the commas to semicolons for the list, you also turned each point of the list into its own independent clause. This makes the sentence actually harder to read because there are now four independent sentences the reader has to go through.
- I don't think elaborating that Kingambit requires Air Balloon to reliably switch into the given offensive threats is necessary, as the way the sentence is set up generally assumes that the item is intact.


- Any team archetype should be lowercase, i.e. "bulky offense", "hyper offense", "balance", "rain".
- Terms like "late-game" and "early-game" should be used only as adjectives or adverbs, not nouns, so phrases like "in the late game" should be changed accordingly.


GP members follow a list of acceptable names for different formes of Pokemon, which can be found here in the first section. In this case, "Ogerpon-Wellspring" and "Landorus-Therian" should be "Ogerpon-W" and "Landorus-T".


- The comma after "Darkrai" should be removed. Commas are only required for a list of three items or more.
- "Dark-type" is a compound noun/adjective, so the "t" in "type" shouldn't be capitalized.
- While you did catch the incorrect term for type spam and "Dark-type core" is a valid phrase, it is better to say "Dark-type spam core" to keep the author's original wording.

i think i had this convo with sunny before, but when is “ ‘s ” supposed to be used when addressing Pokemon or items that have S at the ends of them? I ask because i’m now being told two different things from two different people.

 

[a blue banana]

i think i had this convo with sunny before, but when is “ ‘s ” supposed to be used when addressing Pokemon or items that have S at the ends of them? I ask because i’m now being told two different things from two different people.

answer

"Calyrex-S" doesn't end with the lowercase "s", so " 's " should be always applied when using a possessive for this Pokemon. This also applies to any other Pokemon with a hyphenated name ending in "-S" (i.e. "Deoxys-S's Life Orb").

Naturally plural items like Leftovers and Heavy-Duty Boots are generally considered singular and would need " 's " for possessives (i.e "Leftovers's recovery", "Heavy-Duty Boots's hazard immunity"). As far as I'm aware, pluralization of items (like "Electric Seeds") should be avoided whenever possible.

 

[autumn]

RodentTamer

Serperior

Normalium-Z

Z-Crystal names (Normalium Z, Groundium Z etc) don't have hyphens; the word Z-Crystal / Z-Move does though. When you're checking something with old gen mechanics, the guide google doc likely won't have all the information you need, so make sure you're going back to the standards thread always.

You make this change correctly later on in the paragraph, so please make sure to proofread so you're making edits consistently. If something needs to be changed once, it needs to be changed every time. If you make a formatting edit, use ctrl + f to search for the incorrect version and see if there are any other ones that you need to fix.

Synthesis allows you Serperior to switch in to Rotom W into Rotom-W and Ting Lu Ting-Lu throughout longer games without being worn down, abusing these allowing Serperior several opportunities to chip away at its checks. (I wasn’t sure what you meant by abusing. Are you be referring to the many opportunities Serperior has to chip its checks with Synthesis? If so, we should combine these two clauses, and change the wording a teeny bit)

Abuse means 'use in a negative way', and it's not allowed to be used in analyses because the negative meaning of the word doesn't fit in a Pokemon context. Writers use the word a lot, so your job here is to take that meaning and use a replacement that's not negative, such as 'taking advantage of' 'benefitting from' etc. What this is saying is Serperior takes advantage of these opportunities (opportunities = being able to switch into Rotom-W/Ting-Lu without fear) and uses them to chip down checks.

Remember what I said about comments as well - they need to be actionable and clear to the writer. If you're doing an amcheck and tell a writer to 'change the wording a teeny bit', they won't know what you mean by that. What needs to be changed?

Glare eases the MU matchups against Aegislash and Celesteela by allowing you to paralyse paralyze them, and attempt to remove them.

'You' should be 'Serperior' here. You made this same change correctly in the sentence above, so make sure to be consistent with changes.

I directed you towards the proofreading with ctrl + f section of the beginner notes doc in the last feedback, so please take a look at that and go through the list of words on each check you do. It will especially help if you check anything bigger.

The comma before 'and' here isn't correct. Commas before 'and' 'but' 'or' are used when the clause after that word is independent. An independent clause is a clause that makes sense entirely on its own and doesn't rely on other clauses for information.

The clause here is 'attempt to remove them'. This clause is not independent because there isn't a subject in this part. What attempts to remove them? To get this information. the clause depends on the other clause to know it's Serperior (which you'd get with the you -> Serperior change explained above). Therefore, it doesn't make sense as a standalone.

Normalium-Z Normalium Z Serperior is only seen on Sticky Webs and other offense teams

The term is Sticky Web, not Sticky Webs. Make sure you're checking move formatting on PS!

its aggressive playstyle and lackluster bulk leaves leave it unable to attempt to setup multiple times

This should be 'set up'. Remember that 'set up' is the verb, which is an action that a Pokemon can do. Setting up is something that can be done, so that;s a verb. 'Setup' is a noun, so it refers to a thing like 'setup sweeper' 'setup move'. These aren't actions. In this case, you're talking about the action of setting up multiple times, so you need that space.

revenge-killers revenge killers like Greninja, Iron Boulder, or Mega-Aerodactyl Mega Aerodactyl.

The 'or' should be an 'and' here. The word 'or' is used to show singular things (so only one thing). The word 'and' is used to show plural things (so more than one).

• 'x and y' is plural, while 'x or y' is singular.
• If you're referring to multiple things (teammates, threats, foes etc) then you need to use 'and' in lists of examples to ensure grammatical agreement. If you're talking about one thing (a teammate, a threat, a foe etc) then you need to use 'or.'
  • In a list of examples, you need to look for two things:

1. The subject of what the examples are (so something like threats, teammates, foes etc- what the list items are examples of)
2. The word used to separate the list items (either 'and' or 'or')

• You need the 1 and 2 to agree grammatically.
  • If 1 is plural, then 2 needs to be 'and'. The word 'and' is plural as well, so there's agreement
  • If 1 is singular (so if it said 'a foe' instead of 'foes'), then 2 needs to be 'or'. The word 'or' is singular as well, so there's agreement.
  • If 1 is plural and 2 is singular / 1 is singular and 2 is plural, there isn't agreement, and the sentence is incorrect.
• In an example like ‘Volcarona can set up on foes (1) like Corviknight or (2) Skarmory, you can see the 1 and 2 points highlighted. There isn’t agreement here because 1 is plural (foes), whereas 2 is singular (or).
• It is best to change 2 rather than 1 because the writer can intentionally make that part singular or plural depending on context / metagame information.

In this sentence, the subject is 'revenge killers'. You know that this is plural because killers = more than one killer. Therefore, the list needs to be plural too, and you can do that by replacing 'or' with 'and'.

Sticky Webs slow slows down the first two, (AC) but answers to Mega-Aerodactyl Mega Aerodactyl like Air Balloon Aegislash, Azumarill, Scizor, (AC) and Choice Scarf Mienshao are recommended given its ability to dodge the hazard Sticky Webs altogether.

The correct edit at the start of the sentence would be 'Sticky Web slows'. The move is Web not Webs, and teh most is singular, so the verb 'slows' agrees with that grammatically.

At the end of the sentence, the use of 'the hazard' removes repetition of saying Sticky Web again, so there isn't a need to get rid of that. It follows the same logic of replacing a word with a pronoun to avoid saying it too much (Garchomp is a good partner, as Garchomp can set Stealth Rock -> Garchomp is a good partner, as it can set Stealth Rock).

The change to make is to add 'entry' before hazard.

 

[AceTrainerOrange]

wanted to give this a try

remove add comment

Slither Wing

Slither-Wing Slither Wing is a niche defensive pivot which uses it's interesting type its typing, serviceable bulk, (AC) and reliable recovery in Morning Sun to check attackers like Great Tusk, Breloom, (AC) and or Kingambit. U-turn generates momentum for Slither-Wing's Slither Wing's team against mons Pokemon such as Flutter Mane and Skeledirge, (AC) which and it importantly allows Slither-Wing to avoid being trapped by Gothitelle. Close Combat OHKOs OHKOes Iron Bundle and Chi-Yu and 2HKOs Miraidon which Body Press cannot do (seems like unneeded info here) while scoring a 2HKO on Miraidon. Will-O-Wisp's burn stops the Pokemon Slither-Wing Slither Wing checks from using it as set up setup fodder (RC); (ASC) It also punishes opponents foes such as Toxapex or Corviknight for switching in. Morning Sun heals Slither-Wing for 50% of its health (something a reader may already know) Slither Wing, helping it to consistently switch into Great Tusk. Tera Water provides a resistance to Fire type Fire-type attacks from Koraidon and Chi-Yu, and Water type Water-type attacks from Iron Bundle and Palafin allowing for a last ditch counterattack. 168 speed EVs out speed adamant allow Slither Wing to outspeed Adamant Breloom and the rest are dumped into physical bulk.

 

[Pengu]

adorluigi asked me a while ago to try out GP...

Cinccino

add remove comment
Thanks to Tidy Up, (AC) Cinccino is the main enabler of Hyper Offense hyper offense teams, letting them run many powerful entry hazard-weak Pokemon such as Oricorio-Pa'u Oricorio-P, Arcanine, and Ninetales-Alola Alolan Ninetales. Knock Off lets Cinccino hit Ghost Types Ghost-types like Chandelure, as well as and other problematic Pokemon, notably Bronzong, an otherwise problematic wall (reworded to avoid confusion; it sounded as if Bronzong was a Ghost-types). Encore allows Cincinno Cinccino to capitalize on passive foes that setup set up hazards, boost their stats, or heal up use recovery moves such as Gligar, Registeel, and Sylveon. Teammates like Diancie, Toxtricity, (AC) and Scyther can work alongside Cinccino to overwhelm their shared Steel-type checks like Copperajah and Bronzong, however Fires and Fightings Fire- and Fighting-types such as Chandelure, Tauros-Paldea-Aqua Paldean Tauros-W, and Heracross that easily beat these same Steel-types work as well. Grassy terrain Terrain teams also heavily benefit from Cinccinos Cinccino's presence, since it lets the Oricorio forms formes, Grafaiai, and Arcanine switch-in switch in without having to take chip damage from entry hazards.

 

[a blue banana]

Note that for both of you, I may point out words or phrases in yellow.

---

AceTrainerOrange

Slither Wing

Slither-Wing Slither Wing is a niche defensive pivot which uses it's interesting type its typing, serviceable bulk, (AC) and reliable recovery in Morning Sun to check attackers like Great Tusk, Breloom, (AC) and or Kingambit.

- Since there is no comma before "which", we need to assume that the words following "which" are essential and important for context of the sentence; therefore, "which" should be replaced by "that". "Which" is used to denote non-essential info and always follows a comma after the subject of the non-essential clause.
- Changing "type" to "typing" is a good catch, but I don't understand why "interesting" was removed. Making subjective changes like this should only be done if you have good reasoning to do so; here, maybe "interesting" is used in context of the format Slither Wing is used in, or maybe it's because Bug / Fighting is a rare typing that only two Pokemon get in this gen.

U-turn generates momentum for Slither-Wing's Slither Wing's team against mons Pokemon such as Flutter Mane and Skeledirge, (AC) which and it importantly allows Slither-Wing to avoid being trapped by Gothitelle.

We generally should try to avoid the structure of a sentence unless it is so difficult to understand that subjective changes must be made. Here, by changing "and it importantly" to "which", you changed the second independent clause into a non-essential one, making it less important to the context of this sentence.

Close Combat OHKOs OHKOes Iron Bundle and Chi-Yu and 2HKOs Miraidon which Body Press cannot do (seems like unneeded info here) while scoring a 2HKO on Miraidon.

There may be a reason why the author needs to point out that Body Press cannot 2HKO Miraidon, so this piece of information should be considered important. Generally, QC should have handled all the important metagame info that needs to be put into the analysis before it was moved to the GP stage; if you feel like there's something off about the info, it's best to leave a comment on it.

Will-O-Wisp's burn stops the Pokemon Slither-Wing Slither Wing checks from using it as set up setup fodder (RC); (ASC) It also punishes opponents foes such as Toxapex or Corviknight for switching in.

Good catch on the comma splice in this sentence; however, the word following the semicolon should be lowercase instead.

Morning Sun heals Slither-Wing for 50% of its health (something a reader may already know) Slither Wing, helping it to consistently switch into Great Tusk.

You do have the right idea of cutting out Morning Sun's dex info, but rather than just shortening down to just "Morning Sun heals Slither Wing", which is still essentially saying what the move does, it's better to take a step further and just explain what Morning Sun does in metagame-specific situations (i.e. "Morning Sun helps Slither Wing consistently switch...").

Tera Water provides a resistance to Fire type Fire-type attacks from Koraidon and Chi-Yu, and Water type Water-type attacks from Iron Bundle and Palafin allowing for a last ditch counterattack.

- The comma after "Chi-Yu" should be removed, since the sentence is listing out two types of attacks that Tera Water resists.
- "allowing for..." is a participle phrase, so it requires a comma after "Palafin" to separate it from the independent clause.
- "last-ditch" is a compound adjective, so it needs a hyphen.

168 speed EVs out speed adamant allow Slither Wing to outspeed Adamant Breloom and the rest are dumped into physical bulk.

- Good job catching the error with "EVs outspeed", since that's a common phrase writers use.
- "Speed" should be capitalized when referencing the game stat.
- Since this is a compound sentence, a comma is required before "and".

The rest of your changes are pretty solid, just try to brush up on comma rule knowledge and be more mindful of when to make subjective changes.

---

Pengu

Cinccino

Thanks to Tidy Up, (AC) Cinccino is the main enabler of Hyper Offense hyper offense teams, letting them run many powerful entry hazard-weak Pokemon such as Oricorio-Pa'u Oricorio-P, Arcanine, and Ninetales-Alola Alolan Ninetales.

Good job on adding the comma after "Tidy Up" and adding "entry" before "hazard". Note that for the latter, the author needs to write "entry hazard" only once and is allowed to say just "hazard" after that, so the addition of "entry" before "hazards" in the last sentence wasn't necessary.

Knock Off lets Cinccino hit Ghost Types Ghost-types like Chandelure, as well as and other problematic Pokemon, notably Bronzong, an otherwise problematic wall (reworded to avoid confusion; it sounded as if Bronzong was a Ghost-types).

While I understand your line of thinking, I think the original wording...

...Ghost-types like Chandelure, as well as Bronzong, an otherwise problematic wall.

...is clear enough for readers to differentiate Bronzong from Ghost-types. "as well as" acts as a way for a sentence to supply additional information that isn't important to its core meaning, and this is reinforced by the comma before "as well as", which visually splices it off from the main cluase. Additionally, while it's generally easy to understand, the new wording may be a bit confusing to readers if "Ghost-types like Chandelure and other problematic Pokemon" was read on its own.

Encore allows Cincinno Cinccino to capitalize on passive foes that setup set up hazards, boost their stats, or heal up use recovery moves such as Gligar, Registeel, and Sylveon.

"heal up" is fine phrasing when referring to using recovery moves, no need to change this.

Teammates like Diancie, Toxtricity, (AC) and Scyther can work alongside Cinccino to overwhelm their shared Steel-type checks like Copperajah and Bronzong, however Fires and Fightings Fire- and Fighting-types such as Chandelure, Tauros-Paldea-Aqua Paldean Tauros-W, and Heracross that easily beat these same Steel-types work as well.

- Since this is a compound sentence using "however" as a conjunction, the comma before "however" needs to be changed to a semicolon, while another commas must be added after "however".
- You want to make sure that your changes are not altering what the sentence is saying. The original wording states that Fire- and Fighting-types can work as teammates because they can easily beat Steel-types Cinccino has trouble with; however, your changes now make it only say that these Pokemon easily beat these Steel-types, which doesn't explicitly relate back to the first clause of the sentence by itself.

This a pretty solid amcheck otherwise, well done! Good catch on the "chip damage" part in the last sentence and especially the "Cincinno" typo, since that type of error doesn't obviously stand out compared to others.

 

[KamenAlliterator]

adorluigi autumn so i followed your advices and used them to do this. I wasn’t sure if I was confident enough to post this, but i did it anyway because i need the feedback.

Checkmate (Kingambit)

Black Glasses + Tera Dark should exclusively be used with Kowtow Cleave as these propel Kingambit's offensive pressure; with 5 five Supreme Overlord boosts, Kingambit can reach feats like 2HKOing Dondozo with Kowtow Cleave, (AC) as well as OHKOing Walking Wake, (AC) and 1HKOing Walking-Wake and at +2, (AC) OHKOing Dragonite through Multiscale with Sucker Punch. Air Balloon allows Kingambit to setup set up on would be would-be checks in Landorus-T and most Great Tusks (RC) Tusk variants; (ASC) to become a sturdy switch in switch-in to offense offensive threats like Kyurem, Roaring Moon, and Dragonite who that rely on their Ground-type coverage to hit it (RC); (ASC) and gain an immunity to Spikes that limits could limit Kingambit before it gets going. Kingambits Kingambit’s potential and defensive utility late game late-game almost make it a nearly staple on offensive archetypes, (AC) ranging from Bulky Offense to Hyper Offense while still fitting on Balance. Physical teammates like Ogerpon-Wellspring Ogerpon-W, Zamazenta, and Swords Dance Iron Valiant can overwhelm shared checks like Zanazenta, Landorus-Therian Landorus-T, and Dondozo. Dark Type offensive threat Offensive threats in Darkrai (RC) and Samurott-Hisui Hisuian Samurott can form a Darkspam Dark-type spam core with Kingambit to overwhelm Dark resists Dark-resistant Pokemon like Zamazenta and Tera Fairy users like Gholdemgo Gholdengo and Moltres together.