I just read the story. It has turned out wonderfully. It is much easier to follow now as well. There are still a few grammatical errors but nothing serious or impeding. I do, however, feel like it shouldn't be called "The Diary of DW". It's not written as if it were a diary or journal of any sort, the author seems to be omniscient. My only suggestions are to change the name and to check for basic spelling and grammar things. Otherwise, it couldn't be better^^