A Newb's First Step (Ubers Warstory)

Cavalier_Sain

Cavalier_Sain

This being my third Ubers battle ever, with it currently at 1-1, I tried again.
Here is what resulted:

drcossack's Team: Mega Man Theme
Mewtwo (Dr. Wily)
Groudon (Dust Man)
Rayquaza (Ring Man)
Latios (Bright Man)
Kyogre (Dive Man)
Palkia (Toad Man)

My Team: FE, GS, and Yggdra Union
Latias (Yggdra)
Laura (Blissey)
Kurthnaga (Rayquaza)
Kyogre (Mia)
Lowen (Metagross)
Micaiah (Giratina)

Standard Ladder Rules

Part 1: Blissey's Power & a Stupid Mistake

It was Yggdra Vs. Mewtwo, but I made a stupid mistake on turn 1:
I switched in Kurth. He fell to Ice Beam. I cursed myself for a stupid mistake, then called everyone's favorite tubby, Blissey.

5-6


What happened next was a 2 turn CM showdown, with me getting 3. Then, this happened:

Dr. Wily used Aura Sphere.
It's super effective!
Laura lost 21% of its health.
Laura used Ice Beam.
Dr. Wily lost 23% of its health.
Dr. Wily was frozen solid!
Laura's leftovers restored its health a little!
Laura restored 6% of its health.
---
Cavalier_Sain: O.o
drcossack switched in Dust Man (lvl 100 Groudon).
Dust Man's Drought intensified the sun's rays!
The sun began to shine!
Laura used Softboiled.
Laura restored 38% of its health.
The sun continues to shine.
---
Dust Man used Earthquake.
Laura lost 77% of its health.
Dust Man lost 10% of its health.
Laura used Ice Beam.
It's super effective!
Dust Man lost 90% of its health.
The sun continues to shine.
Laura's leftovers restored its health a little!
Laura restored 6% of its health.

Not only did I weaken Mewtwo, I froze it and almost KOed Groudon with an amazing 90% Ice Beam. From Blissey. Unfortunately, this hax resulted in karma hax later.

I switched to Giratina, but forgot that it wasn't Ground Resistant. After a 43% EQ, Groudon fell to its own soul-sucking Life Orb.

5-5, in my advantage. A make-up for my earlier mistake.


drcossak switched to Rayquaza, and I switched in to Kyogre. That took 49%.

Part 2: Crumbling Hopes?

After he switched in his own Kyogre, I switched to my Metagross.
This hax happened:

Cavalier_Sain switched in Lowen (lvl 100 Metagross).
Dive Man used Thunder.
Lowen lost 42% of its health.
Lowen is paralysed! It may be unable to move!
The rain continues to fall.

Metagross was useless now, so I switched him for Giratina. Fortunately, he switched in Mewtwo.
He switched out for Kyogre expecting a Ghost move. What Kyogre got was a WoW to the face.

Fearing Ice Beam, I switched into my own Kyogre, which was scarfed. Almost dead, next turn my Kyogre Thundered it into oblivion.

5-4. Doing good.

Next, he sent in Palkia. Knowing I had to sacrifice Kyogre, I Thundered for 43%, him killing Kyogre with T-Bolt.

4-4. Back in the evenness...

I sent in my Latias, and KO'ed Palkia with a Dragon Pulse.

4-3. Winning myself an advantage.

Next to fall came Rayquaza, which fell to another Dragon Pulse.

4-2, a sizeable lead.

Mewtwo came out next, and I was hoping to CM freely while it was frozen. Wrong. It woke up that turn and Shadow Balled me for 35%.

Dissapointed that I couldn't get more CM's, I just attacked with Dragon Pulse. After Mewtwo's last 30% Ice Beam hit, it fell.

4-1. It's near the end.

After he switched in his Latios, I decided to do a risky manuever, since I couldn't keep Latias in. I sent in Metagross as it was Recovering. As Latios CMed, the brave cavalier blew up in Latios' face.

3-0, pretty good for my 3rd Ubers match. I felt a bit happier.

Pros:
Blissey getting in a 3 CM, with a powerful Ice Beam, along with a side of hax.
Metagross being able to explode.
Latias for crushing half of his team.

Cons:
Metagross being paralyzed.
My stupid mistake with Rayquaza.
Mewtwo unfreezing immediately.
 
Not too much prediction and too much just kill this kill that (to me it looks that way).

I really didn't have too much interest in this story.
 
erm, a 3-0 win, not too much prediction, and some awkward nicknames make this a meh-ish warstory. if you warstory 1/3 of all your battles, chances are you're not going to have too many good warstories.
 
Articanus said:
Nicknames can be very annoying. I would suggest removing them.
Click to expand...

That's all you have to say? I stopped reading after he started referring to his pokemon by nickname in his comments. In the log I usually endure it, but in the comments?? Yeah screw that.

It just shows me 2 things:

-It shows he obviously didn't take the time to read some examples of good warstories.
-It shows a general lack of consideration for the readers.

Warstory is generally not the content of a first post either-- unless it's very, very good. Which this is not.
 
I think the only thing I really enjoyed about the story was that it was short.

Nicknames are never good to include, aside from maybe just introducing them. The details of the battle going into part 2 (this story is long enough to be broken into parts?) are I don't even know. You go from a bolded log format to text and little description/mindset during battle. Then you end with a 3-0 sweep.

Not an auspicious start for warstorying.
Cavalier_Sain said:
I've decided to lock this, since I thought this wasn't a good idea anyways.
Click to expand...
If you didn't think making this a warstory was a good idea, why in the world would you possibly believe your reader would think it was a good idea?
 
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