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Ah, romance.
- Thread starter RoseSunglasses
- Start date
Yeah because he used the words "almost forcing" that is a pretty brutal description, so I have to agree with you guys. There is a line between trying to get her in the mood (maybe trying to persuade her but VERY gently) and almost forcing, which is way over. Once she says no or even hints at it it's over, and you have to respect her decision.
............................
you need somebody to EXPLAIN to you what is good about sex?
REALLY?
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off-topic: I'm pretty sure people are taking an overly literal interpretation of that fellas words when he wrote "almost forcing."
on-topic:
My most romantic moment was back in HS. Some girl and I had a running joke that I needed to take her out to dinner/date. Seeing as she was a boarding student, that wasn't very feasible, as she couldn't leave school without parental permission. So one day I tell her I'm really taking her out, and I bring her up on top of the roof of the school. I brought up a grill and a couple lawn chairs. I make dinner, we sit, relax, talk, and watch the sun set over the lake. It was pretty perfect.
Of course, a couple weeks later she slept with some other guy, and that was pretty much the end of it right there. I can't really complain though; I learned a lot about the difference between what women say they want and what actually keeps them around from that girl. It jaded me a bit/turned me into a bit of a chauvinistic bastard. You don't catch me cooking dinners any more.
It's not an unreasonable question. In the past, some of user Objection's posts have come off as immature, but what he's asking here doesn't seem unreasonable at all.
It is not intuitively obvious to everybody why other people would want to actively seek out sex, or why sex itself is enjoyable for some people. There are a variety of reasons why somebody might not have this intuition. It could be a result of immaturity or being "sheltered", but it could also be that they can't relate to the feelings other people are seemingly experiencing. Responding in a way that assumes everybody can intuitively relate to these feelings marginalises people who can't.
Granted, this thread may not have been the right venue to pose such a question, but asking questions like "why do some people seek sex?" is a good way to work against sexualnormativity (by drawing attention to the fact that not everybody can come up with an answer intuitively), and shouldn't be responded to condescendingly.
I always thought RoseSunglasses was a dude. Well I guess that is a bad habit on the internet. Anyone my only serious relationship was pretty short because I was a trouble maker at the time in 8th grade. I got suspended for 4 months (Rule 12 Violation) and the girl I was with stopped going to school for a while. From what I last heard she went to rehab and her mom died.
Well yeah that's it for me and now these days I am a calm and relaxed person unlike 3 years ago.
Well yeah that's it for me and now these days I am a calm and relaxed person unlike 3 years ago.
so i cut up a pillow and made a mole out of it, then made a wedding ring out of an apple stem, then i made a big box from some old wood my dad had and
i proposed to my girlfriend with a box that opened and had a pillow-mole with a wedding ring in it
she said yes and my advisors said go back to class
i proposed to my girlfriend with a box that opened and had a pillow-mole with a wedding ring in it
she said yes and my advisors said go back to class
Man, Zeppelin, that sounds sort of... not that romantic, aha.
As for MY most romantic moment ever... that'll require a bit of thinking. I could blurt out something that just happened very recently, but I would prefer to put more conscious effort into making this statement.
Well, my mind is failing me, but perhaps that is its subtle way of telling me that the most recent thing that has happened has been indeed the most romantic.
So, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, Daniel (still dating) and we're sitting through the previews, waiting for Inglourious Basterds to start (it was FANTASTIC). So after the lights dim a little, he quickly pulls out a little black box and says "There's one more surprise birthday present for you." I see the box and first think "oh god, I can't get married." But I open it, and its a small diamond ring. I later found it online (http://www.fredmeyerjewelers.com/Products/981571.aspx?p=5) and it's a promise ring. He says to me "This represents all the love and trust I have in you... I love you, Alison." Suffice it to say I was in tears, but wasn't going to start blubbering in the theater, so I just smiled and snuggled him to bits and waited for the movie to start. It was pretty awesome! :)
As for MY most romantic moment ever... that'll require a bit of thinking. I could blurt out something that just happened very recently, but I would prefer to put more conscious effort into making this statement.
Well, my mind is failing me, but perhaps that is its subtle way of telling me that the most recent thing that has happened has been indeed the most romantic.
So, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, Daniel (still dating) and we're sitting through the previews, waiting for Inglourious Basterds to start (it was FANTASTIC). So after the lights dim a little, he quickly pulls out a little black box and says "There's one more surprise birthday present for you." I see the box and first think "oh god, I can't get married." But I open it, and its a small diamond ring. I later found it online (http://www.fredmeyerjewelers.com/Products/981571.aspx?p=5) and it's a promise ring. He says to me "This represents all the love and trust I have in you... I love you, Alison." Suffice it to say I was in tears, but wasn't going to start blubbering in the theater, so I just smiled and snuggled him to bits and waited for the movie to start. It was pretty awesome! :)
Well, you're missing out and yet you aren't. I'm assuming you're a virgin and so I think it would be foolish for anyone to expect you to have a true understanding of what makes sex what it is. You really do have to experience it to fully "get it." There's nothing wrong with abstaining and it's good to wait until it's comfortable for you. I really don't think anyone can rightfully fault you for that nor do I think they intend to. In that regard, you're not missing out.. your time will come. Where they fault you, however, is on your naive outlook on relationships and "outsider looking in" impressions of sex. For example, you've never experienced sex so why would you assume it feels "pukeworthy" especially when our society is so wrapped up in anything involving it? People wouldn't partake in sex if it didn't feel amazing. We're biologically programmed to want it and are rewarded with pleasure if we have it in order to ensure we continue to procreate. But that's just the lust side of it. Sex can also be an extremely romantic and emotionally fulfilling act as well. "Sticking one's penis inside another" is more than a physical connection and is usually also a mental/emotional one. There is something about your lover and yourself climaxing at the same time in one large moment of passion.. embracing each other while experiencing the best feeling two people can know simultaneously.. well, I know my words would never do it justice. It's just extremely satisfying to connect with another person in so many ways all at once and that's where you're missing out.
While sex isn't everything in a relationship, I feel it's an extremely important part because it connects the emotional and physical elements on an extremely intimate and personal level. A sexless relationship will only get you so far romantically before it needs to manifest itself physically. But I digress. Sex is great on many levels.. don't knock it until you've tried it.
On topic, some of the most romantic moments I've had would be considered extremely boring. There's something to be said for just snuggling alone together on the couch or falling asleep together in bed.
I once had a long weekend in Niagara Falls with the girl I let slip away which needless to say was extremely romantic. I guess that would top my list.
but really, this nonsense about guys not being able to pleasure girls need to stop
either there are some really selfish (i'm not going to even start with "incapable") guys out there, or this is just some feminism hangover. i hate when people view relationships as a "versys" sort of thing. be one with each other, or call it quits
I couldn't agree with you more Akutchi, though this isn't always a one-way street. Though that's enough about that on my part.
The most romantic moment was when I played and sang the song I wrote for my now-girlfriend. She didn't stand a chance. ;]
"hard" to "pull off"
This is bloody nothing to do with feminism, more the fact that simultaneous orgasms are pretty hard to pull off! If anything feminism is beneficial in this because it points out that the chick's pleasure is just as valid as the blokes'.
edit: I should also add that I've never climaxed with a member of either gender there and really, I'm quite happy about that
well, me and my ex used to go for walks around her village and theres a really nice place along the walk with a few fallen trees you can sit on and a little stream. so at some point early on, we had broken up for some reason or another but decided to go on this walk again anyway, and we got down to this little magical place by the stream and started flirting a bit, splashing each other & chasing each other and stuff. and then eventually i was leaning on the log and she came up to me and leaned against me and kissed me. then we shagged up against a tree it was the most romantic thing ive ever done
The girl I'm currently with has never even had a boyfriend before, so she was incredibly shy at first. I took her to the cabin in Lake Tahoe, which my family shares with a couple others, for the weekend, and while we were watching some French movie and making mixed drinks I kept inviting her to come outside to see the starts because they looked great...but every time she went out the clouds were covering them up. Of course, it was just a ploy for me to kiss her in a somewhat romantic setting (though the stars did actually look beautiful) so I was laughing at my misfortune in this stupid plan every time this failed and she was like 'OK well we'll watch more of the movie and then check again.' So this went on until the movie ended, and when she pointed out that the clouds still hadn't cleared up that much I said something along the lines of, "That's alright, I didn't really care about the stars anyway" and she knew I was going to kiss her and she was visibly nervous and honestly looked terrified, so I just said, "I'm going to kiss you now." And then I kissed her and we both laughed because she had just had probably the most awkward first kiss of all time, but the whole situation was still pretty adorable and hilarious.
Despite the awkwardness of that moment, the rest of the night was really fun and actually a little bit crazy. And hey it's a pretty funny / cute story so I'll take it.
And hey as long as I'm telling funny stories about this girl, the first time I asked her out she for some reason didn't comprehend that it would be just the two of us going...which I found out when my other friend told me confusedly that she had been asked if she was going as well. So I felt like I should probably clarify, and I got chance soon after. The very first thing she said after I picked her up from her house was 'Is this a date?' to which I simply replied 'yes'. It went well.
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On an unrelated note: Doctor Heartbreak, I want you to know I just spent 10 minutes deleting all the shit posts in this thread but intentionally left your double post. I'm disappointed that I attached a user note you your account back in April and I'm still the only one to have done so. Keep up your amazing posting, dude, your shit makes me laugh every time.
Despite the awkwardness of that moment, the rest of the night was really fun and actually a little bit crazy. And hey it's a pretty funny / cute story so I'll take it.
And hey as long as I'm telling funny stories about this girl, the first time I asked her out she for some reason didn't comprehend that it would be just the two of us going...which I found out when my other friend told me confusedly that she had been asked if she was going as well. So I felt like I should probably clarify, and I got chance soon after. The very first thing she said after I picked her up from her house was 'Is this a date?' to which I simply replied 'yes'. It went well.
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On an unrelated note: Doctor Heartbreak, I want you to know I just spent 10 minutes deleting all the shit posts in this thread but intentionally left your double post. I'm disappointed that I attached a user note you your account back in April and I'm still the only one to have done so. Keep up your amazing posting, dude, your shit makes me laugh every time.
Guys, stop talking about the definition of rape. It is off topic and going nowhere (except maybe a flame war) and it has been derailing this thread since page one. Let's get back on topic. Thanks.
P.S. I'm not saying that the discussion isn't valid or inappropriate...it just isn't valid or appropriate here.
P.S. I'm not saying that the discussion isn't valid or inappropriate...it just isn't valid or appropriate here.
