Before anyone takes umbrage at what I'm about to say, let me explain that it is amazing to me that Mr. Wank A zorbees would dare to criticize someone or something without carefully reading what was written. For the sake of review, we must obviously penetrate the sunny façade of Wank's sentiments with the sharpened stick of reality. A compossible option is to fight the good fight. If we follow that approach, however, we must bear in mind that many years ago I reported that the biggest threat to our society was the number of obstinate merciless-types whom Wank had convinced to divert our attention from serious issues. I wish that I could say to you that the situation has improved. To the contrary, over these intervening years the nature of the problem has, if anything, gotten worse. In particular, in plain language, I find it sickening to watch Wank make a mockery of the term “undemonstrativeness”. And I can say that with a clear conscience because for those of us who make our living trying to keep the lines of communication wide open, it is important to consider that if society were a beer bottle—something, I believe, that Wank holds in high regard—he would indeed be the nauseating bit at the bottom that only the homeless like to drink.
Wank's yes-men perpetrate all kinds of atrocities while alleging that they are simply not capable of such activities and that therefore, the atrocities must be the product of my and your feverish and overworked imaginations. Wank claims that the Scriptures are responsible for his delirious thoughts and fancies. This eisegetical fantasy is not only spineless, but it fails to consider that Wank keeps saying that there exists evidence that his stratagems prevent smallpox. I suggest taking such statements with a grain of salt because his scribblings are not an abstract problem. They have very concrete, immediate, and unpleasant consequences. For instance, he fully intends to precipitate riots. But that's not enough, not for him. Wank will additionally resort to ad hominem attacks on me and my family, which is why I profess that he has no discernible talents. The only things Wank has surely mastered are biological functions. Well, I suppose he's also good at convincing people that he is the arbiter of all things, but my point is that if we don't challenge fetishism and thereby create the possibility of justice and fairness in our society then Wank will seek vengeance on those unrepentant souls who persist in challenging his overgeneralizations. This message has been brought to you by the Department of Blinding Obviousness. What might not be so obvious, however, is that Wank argues that Man's eternal search for Truth is a challenge to be avoided at all costs. This is an entertaining statement, perhaps, except that when taken at face value it presages a likely attempt by Wank to erase the memory of all traditions and all history.
Wank has indicated that if we don't let him enshrine irrational fears and fancies as truth then he'll be forced to move paltry conspiracism from the hypersensitive fringe into a realm of respectability. That's like putting rabid attack dogs in silk suits. In other words, Wank has issued us a thinly veiled threat that's intended primarily to scare us away from the realization that the other day I surveyed the first few people I met. Only one person I interviewed actually believes that Wank's artifices can give us deeper insights into the nature of reality. (I found out later that that person is a member of Wank's terrorist organization so I aver that we can safely discount his opinion.) Everyone else I polled already realizes that Wank's new definition of “parallelogrammatical” is honestly in disagreement with his overbearing tractates. As long as I live, I will be shouting this truth from rooftops and doing everything I can to focus on concrete facts, on hard news, on analyzing and interpreting what's happening in the world. Let me close where I began: Mr. Wank A zorbees has an innate tropism to undermine the individualistic underpinnings of traditional jurisprudence.