Amusing and nonsensical Conversations you've had

[cco]

Searched and didn't see anything for this here in arabia..posting more to let out frustration but HEY GUYS JOIN THE FUN.

*Mom walks up into my room, Paranoid Android by Radiohead is playing in the background, I'm writing an essay*

Mom: cco! this isn't your essay
Me: Yeah it is mom.
Mom: Nope, the essay you had yesterday was much longer
Me: Well yeah that's because I rewrote it.

*the first loud part of Paranoid Android starts up*

Mom: cco! get off facebook!
Me: I'm not on facebook.
Mom: Yes you are! What else is making that noise! Facebook makes noise when it tries to talk to you! I heard about it on NPR, this kid got addicted to facebook, he couldn't stop listening to it.
Me: You don't listen to Facebook.
Mom: Oh I meant listening to e-mails
Me: You don't listen to those either

*Paranoid Android goes to a quiet part*

Mom: Oh this song is nice! Better than the last one, anyways you need to unplug! Turn the computer off!
Me: I'm writing an essay.
Mom: What were you doing before then?
Me: Writing the essay
Mom: When I walked in
Me: Checking the plot summary
Mom: YOU'RE CHEATING! I will have nothing to do with this!
*showing her the page*
Me: The audio files on the tape were scratched, see I looked around to find one with transcripts of the scenes.
Mom: I'm sure, but don't worry, it can be our little secret.

Anyways, it'd be funnier if you knew my mother and stuff, but I'm sure there are other smogonites with deadpan parents/friends.

 

[monkfish]

sounds like your moms an idiot.sorry

 

[Umbreon Dan]

there's nothing like this here in a rabia

 

[Temperantia]

[Me]: I could really go for some sushi right now...

[Idiot Friend]: Why do you like Mexican Food so much?

[Me; slightly annoyed]: [IF], Sushi is from Japan, not Mexico

[IF; incredulous]: Same difference, they're on the same contintinent.

[Me; more annoyed]: No, Japan is in Asia.

[IF; completely bewildered]: Asia? Is that part of China?


*cue facepalm*


This is the epitome of the U.S. education system...

 

[Snorlaxe]

Mom: cco! this isn't your essay

your real name is cco ?????????????????????

 

[askaninjask]

hey, my real name is cco don't hate

 

[Snkz]

cco is obviously a pet name his mom gave him

 

[Jebus McAzn]

http://wiki.teamliquid.net/starcraft/Paranoid_Android

why were you playing starcraft and doing homework at the same time??????

 

[Fatecrashers]

hey, my real name is cco don't hate

named after the famous fashion designer i see

 

[v]

[me] *wise stuff*
[other person] stupid/ignorant uninformed statement
[me] sarcastic/indignant response
[other person] insistence that they are correct
[me] calm, level-headed correction
[other person] another dumb thing! this is the punchline

/thread

 

[THE_IRON_...KENYAN?]

one-liner

 

[Fishy]

overused joke people still laugh at

 

[Layell]

I made many jokes about my parents physical abuses towards me, it stopped being funny when child services found out and may dad taught me a lesson I have never forgotten.

 

[THE_IRON_...KENYAN?]

one-liner

 

[Temperantia]

I made many jokes about my parents physical abuses towards me, it stopped being funny when child services found out and may dad taught me a lesson I have never forgotten.

How retro. Abuse hasn't been funny since the 90's.

 

[Princess Bubblegum]

I commonly have conversations with my dad, about things such as who would win in a battle, Cylons vs. the Borg. It drags on for hours.

For anyone wondering, just a Borg cube or 2, the Cylons would be crushed by the Borg if they sent there whole force.

 

[Glen]

op, what do you think deadpan means

 

[Shiny_Tyranitar]

This is a convo I had with a friend a few years ago that really comes to mind, I'm in quite a few nonsensical convos on the stupid and intelligent end (stupid side usually for comedy). This particular convo is from October 2009 when I was 20

Me: I've always wanted to do something crazy, and then find a way to make money off of it, and donate that money to charity. Like snort a load of coke for charity.

Co-worker: Dude, there's always those parties at your house. You could charge people to come, play some beer pong, have a raffle, and do a beer drinking walk-a-thon (an idea later stolen by the Cleveland show). It's breast cancer awareness month, you could call it beer pong for boobies and donate that money to the Susan G Komen foundation.

Me: whats that?

Co-worker: Some charity to help cure breast cancer and raise awareness

Me: Sounds legit, but do you think the Susan B. Anthony foundation would take money from something so legally questionable?

Co-worker: 0.o

 

[az]

*wiseass shrug*

 

[Thorns]

angsting about terrible teenage life in the guise of a witty thread

 

[PK Gaming]

A conversation I had with a friend recently

Him: I can't wait to be a useless piece of shit all day and play games

(we were walking down stairs and he tripped and started falling)

Him: FUCK I'M FALLING DOWN ALL THESE STAIRS

Me: I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE STAIRS!!! I TOLD YOU DOG

Him: IT KEEPS HAPPENING

Me: I told you man, I TOLD you about stairs!

 

[az]

where are youre pants.....?

 

[cco]

one-liner

Biting Rejoinder

 

[cookie]

when my cat was giving birth my mum told me that you shouldn't handle newborn kittens because the mother will eat them to protect them

 

[internet]

unfunny continuation of someone else's joke