not to be pretentious but yall should really read this… C.H.A.T. (Come Here for All Talk)

ken

gm
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Monotype Leader
help me smogoff... you're my only hope!!

for ages now i've been trying to remember a film scene (possibly dredged into the swirlings of my subconscious by my recent framed grinding). basically there's two characters (white and straight afaik) on a date(?) in an ice rink and this absolute tune is playing (i think diegetically but maybe not). probably an older film based on that soundtrack element. does anyone know what film i'm thinking of?

also i promise i'm not trying to brightobject you this is a genuine call for help lol
This Is Where I Leave You

edit: streaming on HBO Max
 

Sijih

game show genius
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Moderator
what is the funniest analysis on smogon?
Here are the ones that I find to be noteworthy levels of funny:
BW Castform
BW Delibird
DP Unown
XY Spinda

Your post made me want to do some internet archaeology, but I burned out pretty quickly when I realized that there are infinite terrible pokemon and only a finite amount of creativity to go into describing how bad they are. The analyses are decently funny in small doses though, so maybe you can split the reading up advent calendar style - one a day throughout December.
Also it's 2022 so reading might not be cool anymore. Maybe try listening to these audiobook style instead.

For your sake I've very very roughly ordered these by descending entertainment value. Some will absolutely be a swing and a miss though.
https://www.smogon.com/dex/bw/pokemon/magikarp/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/rs/pokemon/kyogre/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/sm/pokemon/magikarp/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/ss/pokemon/delibird/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/bw/pokemon/metang/ru/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/dp/pokemon/sunkern/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/bw/pokemon/palkia/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/sm/pokemon/ledian/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/bw/pokemon/unown/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/bw/pokemon/hoppip/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/dp/pokemon/kakuna/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/minun/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/bw/pokemon/spinda/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/unown/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/beautifly/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/dp/pokemon/spinda/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/dp/pokemon/luvdisc/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/dragonite/doubles/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/dp/pokemon/weedle/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/dp/pokemon/farfetchd/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/delcatty/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/luvdisc/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/bw/pokemon/watchog/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/castform/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/wormadam-sandy/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/wobbuffet/pu/

Finally, you can find more by looking up your terrible pokemon of choice and browsing their analyses. I got bored at the end so there are some marginally funny entries for things like farfetchd and corsola that I didn't bother to include.
 
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Here are the ones that I find to be noteworthy levels of funny:
BW Castform
BW Delibird
DP Unown
XY Spinda

Your post made me want to do some internet archaeology, but I burned out pretty quickly when I realized that there are infinite terrible pokemon and only a finite amount of creativity to go into describing how bad they are. The analyses are decently funny in small doses though, so maybe you can split the reading up advent calendar style - one a day throughout December.
Also it's 2022 so reading might not be cool anymore. Maybe try listening to these audiobook style instead.

For your sake I've very very roughly ordered these by descending entertainment value. Some will absolutely be a swing and a miss though.
https://www.smogon.com/dex/bw/pokemon/magikarp/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/sm/pokemon/magikarp/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/ss/pokemon/delibird/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/bw/pokemon/metang/ru/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/dp/pokemon/sunkern/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/bw/pokemon/palkia/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/sm/pokemon/ledian/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/bw/pokemon/unown/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/bw/pokemon/hoppip/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/rs/pokemon/kyogre/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/dp/pokemon/kakuna/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/minun/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/bw/pokemon/spinda/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/unown/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/beautifly/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/dp/pokemon/spinda/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/dp/pokemon/luvdisc/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/dragonite/doubles/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/dp/pokemon/weedle/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/dp/pokemon/farfetchd/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/delcatty/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/luvdisc/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/bw/pokemon/watchog/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/castform/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/wormadam-sandy/
https://www.smogon.com/dex/xy/pokemon/wobbuffet/pu/

Finally, you can find more by looking up your terrible pokemon of choice and browsing their analyses. I got bored at the end so there are some marginally funny entries for things like farfetchd and corsola that I didn't bother to include.
" A Broken Heart: After his tragic breakup, whenever Spinda isn't under the trance of Berry Juice his memories from the past fill his mind, causing him to lie in the fetal position and leaving him open to attacks. "

WHAT HAPPENED TO SPINDA IS HE SAFE? IS HE OKAY?
 
I am in my early 20s but sometimes, women in their 30s, 40s and 50s appear so much more attractive to me than women my age

Saw someone I know a bit coincidentally today, in her 40s, and holy fuck the dress she wore fucked me up all the way. I am even being a degenerate coomer on smogoff, that's how bad it was

I think my social etiquette is too prevalent in that I have this natural respect towards people older than me and this kinda stops me from ever approaching someone flirtatiously in this age group. Oh well
 

BIG ASHLEY

low like a basement
is a Community Contributor
I am in my early 20s but sometimes, women in their 30s, 40s and 50s appear so much more attractive to me than women my age

Saw someone I know a bit coincidentally today, in her 40s, and holy fuck the dress she wore fucked me up all the way. I am even being a degenerate coomer on smogoff, that's how bad it was

I think my social etiquette is too prevalent in that I have this natural respect towards people older than me and this kinda stops me from ever approaching someone flirtatiously in this age group. Oh well
go for it!!! live ur dream!!! milfhunting king!!!

degenerate coomer
maybe dont use words like this when talking to them tho. i find it often puts women off.
 

phoopes

I did it again
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is this above or below the average time spent on being a poster?
I'll be real with you, I can't think of a clever response to that applies directly to this post, but here's some things that came to mind during my thought process. Hopefully, this gives you a deeper look into the mind of phoopes.

1. The limit does not exist.
2. Let me answer your question with a question. Are we poster, or are we dancer?
3. That's my secret, dave, I'm always posting.
4. According to my calculations...
gimmi.PNG


If anyone would like to chime in here on how we can better workshop this joke, be my guest.
 
Despite not owning the game, In anticipation for the Pokemon Home Release, along with the new, inspirational information that has come to light that Last Respects Caps out at 5050 BP (100 KOs), I've made a Team that I'm Excited to Never Use!
BEHOLD!
thegang.png


The Strategy:
  1. Kill the Fuck out of the Opponents Boring and Mediocre at Best Gholdengo and Hazard Setters using My Superior, Awesome Gholdengo.
  2. Get rid of all Entry Hazards with Corviknight.
  3. Kill everyone and Revive Two others once more with Revival Blessing Mons. Kill Pelipper Last to Get MAXIMUM Rain up
  4. Your opponents team is now lint, and Basculegion is a Dust Pan.
Yeah, I bet my genius has inspired you all, Hasn't it?
Basculegion (M) @ Choice Band
Ability: Swift Swim
EVs: 4 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Last Respects

Pawmot @ Focus Sash
Ability: Volt Absorb
EVs: 252 Spe
IVs: 0 Atk
- Revival Blessing

Rabsca @ Focus Sash
Ability: Synchronize
EVs: 252 Spe
IVs: 0 Atk
- Revival Blessing

Pelipper @ Damp Rock
Ability: Drizzle
EVs: 252 HP / 4 Def / 252 SpD
- Brave Bird

Corviknight @ Heavy-Duty Boots
Ability: Pressure
EVs: 252 Def / 252 SpD
IVs: 50 Atk
- Defog
-Brave Bird

Gholdengo @ Leftovers
Ability: Good as Gold
EVs: 180 Def / 144 SpA / 184 SpD
Modest Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Recover
- Shadow Ball
- Make It Rain
- Dazzling Gleam
Ch?apter 9: Understandable Questions, Unacceptable Answers:
"Wow, this is a flawless plan!!! Are there any drawbacks to it?"
Provided your opponent doesn't think, you should be all set!

"Aren't there better ways this could get executed? There's room for optimization I think."
Probably, but I hate improvement as a person.

"The dark artifact... it's consuming me.... Please, great warrior... you must... slay me while I'm still myself... OOOAOAOOOOOOOOUGH!!!!"
Try turning it on an off again? :/

"Hey I tried using it and I lost."
That's probably a you issue. Why Can't you be grateful to me, Okay, like I provide you a team, and YOU make it work.

Anyways, Let me know what you think, but If you provide me any constructive Criticism or Say anything I disagree with I will Eat all of the Load Bearing Walls in your house!!!!!!!
 

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