The predicts this tour have been fucking weak so I'm here to change that. Anyone who posts predicts without explanations should be infracted, we simply do not give a shit pal. Anyways, time to liven shit up by insulting everyone, this tour has been too quiet since concept everything called someone scum for literally no reason.
Brooklyn Blazikens (5) vs (3) Nefarious Nohfaces
SV CAP:
RaJ.Shoot (64) vs (36) Suzuya
This will be the first (but absolutely not the last) instance of Shit Name Tax in these predicts. Inder wasn't great but I'm gonna forget Suzuya by the time I finish this post. Raj is 3-2, 3-1 in sv and has been pretty solid, genericanimename is 2-3 and has generally played like a crackhead which I respect, but that loss to pyroak was dire. 64-36 might be harsh but the name is too shit for me to give a fairer assessment.
SV CAP: Sificon (48) vs (52)
Fc
Sificon has been shunted into SV to try as the Blazikens are trying to use line-up switcheroos to get around the fact that Exotic had a dire tour (no disrespect it happens to the best of us) and they didn't draft any real replacements. Fair fucks to yis lads, I've done the same myself. FC meanwhile has gone from 0-3 in swsh to 2-0 in SV where he seems far more comfortable. All this is to say that this matchup is a clusterfuck but it's definitely one of the most interesting games here (low bar). Sifi is solid (only cool people win cap seasonals) but coming into this slot cold is rough so I'm backing FC to stay on his upward swing.
SV CAP:
Piyush25 (51) vs (49) pichus
Now this is the most interesting matchup thus week. Both these players are 4-1 and both have been broadly pretty good. Piyush has also done his best to add some interest to the tour by slagging off Darek for no apparent reason, which was bizarre but at least it was interesting. Ultimately I'm giving piyush the edge because his games have been slightly more impressive. Pichus had a pretty excellent matchup against Fragments, faced basically no resistance from Ama and beat Sciz by clicking bulk up with a tusk on turn 4. That's not a knock against Pichus, bro can only beat what's in front of em and their win last week was basically flawless but Piyush has an equal record vs a stronger field so he's getting the bold. Looking forward to this one though, should be a banger.
SS CAP:
Sylveon used calm mind (70) vs (30) temp
Temp (and nohfaces swsh slot as a whole) has been, frankly, shite. He's had some poor luck in his 4 losses but he was pretty fortunate in his 1 win so overall its been a bit of a mess. This would be 80-20 but temps opponent, who I shall call Stewart, because they desperately need a nickname, is getting a heavy Shit Name Tax. Please change this shit already, it hurts my eyes. Stewie has 3 wins in swsh, loading the same shit in all of them because nobody in this community cteams for reasons I will never understand. Stew also has 1 loss in swsh because of a faustian bargain that states that he can play in spl if he loads wailord every time he plays a cap teamtour. Stewart will load the same shit yet again and temp will load a 40-60 matchup for no reason and lose
ORAS CAP: LBN (44) vs (56)
Lostmemories
Both these guys are 3-2 and everyone in the oras pool should quit mons for allowing that to happen, especially
gorex. Lost memories has played like a competent human that occasionally loses his goddamn mind out of nowhere and then carries on like nothing happened. I do the same though so I have faith in him. LBN aka "Loads Bullshit Neverendingly" has done exactly that and is somehow surprised that this has once again not led him to a 5-0 record. My take is that LBN will get in his own head because Mr Dose haxed him last time and lose the game entirely on his own, either in the builder or on the field. Hope he doesn't but this should be funny either way.
BW CAP: Waldinji (39) vs (61)
tier
Waldinji has been decent for a debut tour but unfortunately they will also be getting the Shit Name Tax, this was created by combining a keyboard with a forehead wasn't it? Tier has lost some games that he probably shouldn't have but it's still hard to bet against him against a relative newcomer. Still, Waldo has been solid and if they rolls a good mu and avoid a coppa ban I can see them taking this.
DPP CAP:
Ainzcrad (53) vs (47) Binacle Pinnacle
DPP is a coinflip but binpin thinks steel resists fire so ainz just needs to load moltres and he'll win. Binpin has managed to play like a human being for the most part but he's still having moments of pure insanity and ainz seemed to count on that last time they played. If he can restrain himself he can win but ainz is the steadier player and ultimately this tier is a crapshoot so I'm going with my gut. Will not be tuning in to this one, I'd literally rather shit steel wool.
CAP Monotype:
Ashbala (62) vs (38) byulharang
Yet another instance of Shit Name Tax! Inders name change was bad but this is somehow worse, Holy Ghost was fine why would you do this. Boomerang has also played like they sniff glue as a pre game warmup but Ashbala hasn't played enough to have a solid idea of where they're at. My hot take is whoever loads the better type matchup will manage to lose this, but if its pretty even than Ashballs will win.
Rooting for
SHSP hair to grow back and this tour to get cancelled, good luck everyone.
Brooklyn Blazikens (4) vs (4) Nefarious Nohfaces 
