Dumb Intro Sentences Police

chaos

chaos

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Could we get a team of people to go through the analyses and remove/revamp dumb introduction sentences? In particular, leading sentences like "Pretty straightforward" (GS Lickitung). Sentences like that add nothing to the analyses and I know there are a bunch of them.

If you don't have a badge yet and want to contribute to this project post links to the analyses and optionally include how to fix them :)
 
Bleh, I'm going down the list and doing what I can before I have to run all my errands. >_> I apologize if any of these seem nit-picky, I usually am when it comes to proper grammar.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/charizard
Here, what you do is dependent on your moves.

This annoys me a little bit. It's under Bellyzard with 3 attacks. It should be changed to something like Your coverage with this set depends on what moves you choose to use. Or just remove it all together.

EDIT: http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/aerodactyl
Aerodactyl was used almost exclusively as a Choice Bander in the Advance era, and enough has stayed the same for the flying fossil that this is still his most common strategy.
Aerodactyl was almost always used as a Choice Bander in Advance, but is still capable of its most common strategy.

Given how terrible its Defenses are and the fact that it is weak to Stealth Rock, Aerodactyl is not going to survive many attacks (and very likely won't survive any), so it is a natural candidate for the recoil-inducing Life Orb.
Aerodactyl, with a weakness to Stealth Rock and terrible defenses, is not likely to take many hits and so is an excellent candidate for Life Orb.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/alakazam
This is an amazing moveset that can really mess up a team.
Just omit this, it adds nothing to the analysis, it's opinion over information.

This makes a good lead.
Again, omit this. This was under 'starter', so we don't need to be told it's a good lead.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/arbok
A souped up Gunk Shot is really quite scary... if it hits, and Earthquake provides excellent type coverage.
Split into two sentences. 'A souped up Gunk Shot is quite scary, provided that it hits. Earthquake provides excellent type coverage.'

This is a novelty, really.
This set is not recommended for normal circumstances, it's actually pretty novelty.
The original sentence seems...too short and casual.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/arcanine
Arcanine has always been strong on the attacking side with nice stats on either side, however it has often lacked the moves to back up the statistics, particularly on the physical spectrum.
Arcanine has always been strong on both offenses, but it has unfortunately lacked the movepool to utilize these stats, particularily on its slightly stronger physical side.
 
http://www.smogon.com:81/rb/pokemon/scyther

"If you switch him in, you almost need to be positive that they are not using an attacking move or they are switching. Swords Dance on the switch, Agility if needed, and sweep with Hyper Beam. Quite basic, really..."

This is not only include the intro. sentence for Scyther, but the whole analysis. I think that this needs a re-write, and I've already done that. I think I'll post it later this week.
 
Continuing my nit-picking. I believe I should be on the force thing. >_> I'm going down the list, and I'm very busy irl, so it might take a few days and many, many edits. xD

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/armaldo
Armaldo can definitely claim numerous improvements since Advance, particularly in the STAB department.
Since Advance, Armaldo has made several improvements, the largest of these in the STAB department.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/beedrill
Endeavor is one of Beedrill's more novel options, and you could either use Substitute or Endure to accomplish this.
Although Endeavor is considered novelty on Beedrill, it learns Substitute and Endure to help pull off an effective Endeavor set.
By 'novel', I don't really understand what it means, but oh well. =/

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/bellossom
There may be no such thing as a "Bollossom," and it may not have the useful STAB on Sludge Bomb, but Bellossom boasts a superior Special Defense compared to its cousin Vileplume making its Substitutes slightly stronger in that department.
Thanks to Carl for pointing out my mistake. >_>
While Bellossom does not have a useful STAB in Sludge Bomb like Vileplume, it does carry superior Special Defense and so the ability to create better Substitutes.

Again, a suggestion: keep things going straight to the point.

That's all for now. xD
 
Age of Kings said:
http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/bellossom
There may be no such thing as a "Bollossom," and it may not have the useful STAB on Sludge Bomb, but Bellossom boasts a superior Special Defense compared to its cousin Vileplume making its Substitutes slightly stronger in that department.
While Bellossom has a poor STAB option in Sludge Bomb, it has superior Special Defense to Vileplume, making superior Substitutes.
Again, a suggestion: keep things going straight to the point.
Click to expand...

Bellossom is a pure grass type so it does not get STAB on Sludge Bomb at all. Saying it has a poor STAB option implies it still gets the boost and is part poison. Really you'd want to say something like: "While Bellossom does not get STAB on Sludge Bomb like its cousin Vileplume, it does boast a stronger Special Defense stat which can be useful when creating Substitutes." Personally, I think that whole line can be scrapped since it's a minimal difference.
 
Carl said:
Bellossom is a pure grass type so it does not get STAB on Sludge Bomb at all. Saying it has a poor STAB option implies it still gets the boost and is part poison. Really you'd want to say something like: "While Bellossom does not get STAB on Sludge Bomb like its cousin Vileplume, it does boast a stronger Special Defense stat which can be useful when creating Substitutes." Personally, I think that whole line can be scrapped since it's a minimal difference.
Click to expand...
Whhops, mistake, I was multi-tasking. >_> Dropping by real quick to edit.
 
http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/spinda
"Spinda Wishes that it had better stats. And a better sprite. You've gotta admit, it looks ugly. Incredibly ugly. It couldn't possibly be more ugly; if it walked into a fire, it'd look like it just came out of Extreme Makeover."

Yes, Spinda is ugly. However, I don't think this opeing sentence is entirely necessary.
 
Max said:
Dealt with jrrrrrrr's error. Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with humor in the analyses, Hawk. I'll get to working on Age of King's suggestions later.
Click to expand...
I have tons of work to do before Thanksgiving break, but I'll go completely down the list on Wednesday.
 
Hawk said:
http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/spinda
"Spinda Wishes that it had better stats. And a better sprite. You've gotta admit, it looks ugly. Incredibly ugly. It couldn't possibly be more ugly; if it walked into a fire, it'd look like it just came out of Extreme Makeover."

Yes, Spinda is ugly. However, I don't think this opeing sentence is entirely necessary.
Click to expand...

Sarenji's humor on craptastic pokemon doesn't really harm the analysis. In fact, it made me want to read it. I propose there's nothing wrong with a little humor, especially because nobody will seriously use Spinda anyway.
 
http://smogon.com:81/gs/pokemon/magmar

This is pretty much taken straight from Donald's FAQ, and I have used it in the past.
Click to expand...
Doesn't describe the pokemon or its moves. Also, us newer members have no idea who Donald is anyway.

--

http://smogon.com:81/gs/pokemon/sandslash

I will stick by this moveset for as long as I play GSC.
Click to expand...
Doesn't describe the pokemon - what we want to hear is pros and cons of the moveset not who uses the pokemon

--

http://smogon.com:81/gs/pokemon/mantine

Mantine stinks, plain and simple.
Click to expand...
That sentence stinks, plain and simple. Eventhough it is perfectly true.
 
Dropping by for a few more edits. I got over a huge test today, yay.
http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/blaziken
Hindered by Blaziken's somewhat average Speed, but this is still a big threat as after a Swords Dance Blaziken has an impressive Attack stat.
Although Blaziken is hindered by its somewhat average Speed, it is still a huge threat after getting a Swords Dance in.

Generic Choice item set. Choice Band provides power; Choice Scarf provides Speed.
Omit this. You don't need to tell the reader what CB and CS do.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/blissey
This may not seem different enough from the "Special Wall" Blissey to warrant a separate set, but the presence of Aromatherapy changes the complexion of battle enough for this to be considered a different Pokémon altogether.
Although this set doesn't look much different then the previous one, Aromatherapy changes the purpose of Blissey enough to be considered a seperate Pokemon altogether.

Hard to rephrase because it's so....awkward. =/

The general idea is to special wall just like in the first set, utilizing Wish then Protect to directly mirror the effects of Softboiled, or using Wish preemptively (with more than half of your HP intact, even at full health) then using the next turn to Toss or use any of the above "filler" moves.
Like in the first set, Blissey's purpose is to be a special wall. However, here it either utilizes the Wish + Protect combo to mimic Softboiled, or using Wish beforehand while its HP is still high and attacking/crippling the next turn.

This should be split into two sentences in order to prevent it from sounding like one of those fast-talking people in medicine commercials explaining harmful side effects so the viewer can't listen to all of them and make up their mind.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/breloom
As the set name suggests, use this to lead your team.
Omit this, completely unnecessary.

Thunderpunch will down Gyarados in one hit, but is illegal alongside Poison Heal, so you'll be stuck with the crappy Effect Spore as his ability.
While Thunderpunch OHKOs Gyarados, it is illegal with Poison Heal, leaving it with the crappy Effect Spore should you choose to use it.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/butterfree
Butterfree's move pool isn't something huge, and many of the options presented to it, it cannot use due to its bad defenses.
Butterfree's movepool isn't something huge and is unable to use many of the options presented to it due to poor defenses.

Just word rearrangement.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/cacturne
Payback can be used as Cacturne is pretty slow, thus it will usually be a 100 power STAB move.
Payback is an effective option on Cacturne due to its relatively poor speed, often becoming a 100 BP + STAB move.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/carnivine
His physical movepool is incredibly limited so type coverage on this set is poor, although after a Swords Dance, Power Whip is a powerful attack.
Carnivine's physical movepool is limited, giving poor type coverage on this set. However, after a Swords Dance, Power Whip becomes very, very formidable.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/celebi
The competition for viable Swords Dance Baton Passers is a little tougher in Scizor and Gliscor, but Celebi still does rather well, especially since it is rather unexpected.
While Gliscor and Scizor outclass Celebi in Swords Dance passing, it still does quite well at the job since it is quite unexpected.

I can rephrase this again if anyone disputes my choice of the word "outclass"....

Imagine the face of your opponent when it turns you got both!
Not an intro sentence, but a second sentence. The correct phrasing should be "when it turns out you got both".
 
http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/gengar

"Pretty much the standard Gengar set—with Life Orb and a Timid nature, you can 2HKO the standard Snorlax with Focus Blast, and 3HKO Blissey with Focus Blast."

Bold part isn't needed.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/magcargo

"You can say a lot of bad things about Magcargo, one more offending than the other, but he does have quite a lot of good support moves."

Really unneeded, states pretty much nothing that isn't showed in the set moves itself.
 
Yay, I just got out of school. xD

EDIT: I'll do more later. >_> *lazy*

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/chatot
Chatot can just about round up a Choice Specs set.
Omit this.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/clefable
One of the most obvious yet effective Clefable sets.
Omit. >_>

Pretty much any move that works on Blissey can be put on Clefable, above are merely examples.
Clefable does well with pretty much any move that Blissey can use.

One of these tricks Clefable has up its sleeve that can totally cost you the game if you don't expect it.
Meh. Doesn't do much for the analysis. =/

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/cloyster
Not much has changed for Cloyster since Advance play.
Another 'meh' sentence....

Automatically statusing incoming Pokémon with Toxic Spikes and sapping their hit points is a great way to wear down your opponent’s walls and limit the lifespan of Pokémon like Swampert and Hippowdon, but there is a risk that comes with such a lovely effect.
Wearing down your opponent's walls and statusing anything that tries to come in is a snap with this set. While you may be able to limit the lifespan of things like Swampert and Hippowdon, there is a drawback to using this set.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/corsola
This set is potent as well, and might work in the UU tier, as Corsola has a good movepool.
Corsola has a good movepool, making this set (possibly) potent in UU.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/crawdaunt
This is designed more for the late-game, which makes Life Orb appropriate.
This is designed more for late-game, making Life Orb appropriate.

Just a bit of word-rearrangement.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/crobat
This is pretty self explanatory, Nasty Plot, and attempt to sweep.
Nasty Plot and sweep.

Omit the rest.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/darkrai
Ok, here's how this set works.
....what can I say?

Fun to use.
Same as above.

Your basic Choice Specs set here. However, the First 3 sets probably work better since you're cutting down Darkrai's versatility.
Whoever wrote this probably hates Darkrai. The entire set analysis explains nothing! xD Note: There's only three moves on the set anyways.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/delcatty
This (or a variation of this) is likely going to be the most common form of Delcatty you see, as Delcatty's best and most sensible moves lean it in the direction of Baton Passing.
The most common form of Delcatty is the Baton Passer, since its most practical moves are best used with it.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/deoxys-s
A simple Choice Specs Pokémon.
Omit.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/drifblim
This is about setting up a sweep, so generally you will not want to attempt to pull this off until later in the match when you know the target of your Baton Pass will have a clear shot at sweeping the competition.
This set is generally used for setting up late-game sweeps.

short, simple, sweet.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/dugtrio
Standard - the only things that matter are your personal choices.
Another 'meh' sentence.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/dusknoir
Not really the best use of Dusknoir's talents, but it's there and it works.
Once again, a 'meh' sentence. =/
 
http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/gyarados
This is more like it for you flashy, "sweep first ask questions later" folk.
This is a more agressive set than others.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/donphan
Donphan has a lot of useful selling points, but perhaps the most notable of these is Rapid Spin.
Donphan can do a lot of things, but most notably can Rapid Spin.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/suicune
CalmCune of Advance no longer enjoys quasi-invincibility after two Calm Minds, but it should not be taken lightly as it will still sweep any team that is not prepared.
Calm Mind Suicune has taken a generational hit but still possesses (spelling?) the power to sweep teams.

As alluded to earlier, the new faced paced offense of D/P makes Rest somewhat difficult to pull off with success if you are not using Sleep Talk.
Without Sleep Talk, Rest is difficult to pull of in the ridiculously threatening realm of D/P.
(there's a spelling mistake in there too)

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/miloticGood defenses and instant recovery make Milotic a great sleep inducer, especially with 10% boost to the accuracy of Hypnosis compared to the previous generation.
Milotic's durability combined with instant recovery makes for a great Hypnosiser (or maybe Hypnosis user?), especially with the move's accuracy increase present in D/P.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/gengar
This moveset can potentially cripple one half of your opponent's team if it is used correctly.
This set has the potential to ruin teams. (or just omit)

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/snorlax
The Immortal Set. Surprisingly, one may find that this set does not work quite as well as it did in previous generations, for a multitude of reasons.
Considered "immortal" in previous generations, this set doesn't work as well as previous for several reasons.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/mewtwo
Mewtwo has a fun new toy in Diamond/Pearl in the form of Choice Specs.
With the coming of D/P, Choice Specs Mewtwo is a viable option.

Physical Mewtwo is no joke.
Physical Mewtwo is another viable option.

Sorry if someone else has corrected these, but this was very much a case of tl;dr.
EDIT: forgot a few links
 
I always thought this sentence was worded oddly, particularly the last few words of it, and focus puncg being mentioned, despite it being legal throughout.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/azumarill
"There are some legality issues with this set. If you use Body Slam, you are locked into Ice Punch and Focus Punch. If you use Aqua Jet, you are locked into Double-Edge and Focus Punch and finally if you use Ice Punch you are locked into Focus Punch."

This set though, has legitamacy issues. Aquajet is only obtainable through breeding In D/P, while Ice punch and Bodyslam are emerald tutor moves.

...or something along the lines of that

EDIT: ...this is... uh...
http://www.smogon.com:81/rb/pokemon/clefable
None
 
Also Aqua Jet is illegal with Azurill's egg move set (Encore and Sing mainly), since it can only learn it while breeding to get Marill. One of the more annoying things to breed
 
I left off at the Ds.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/empoleon
A standard Choice sweeper.
Omit this.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/entei
Will-O-Wisp is a really excellent addition to Entei's movepool.
Will-O-Wisp is an excellent addition to Entei's movepool.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/espeon
Standard Calm Mind passer.
Omit.

This is a more sweep-oriented set.
Omit.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/exeggutor
Exeggutor's HP and Defense are in fact pretty good and he resists Earthquake, so this set takes advantage of all that.
This set takes advantage of Exeggutor's decent HP and Defense and resistance to Earthquake.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/farfetchd
Oh boy. Okay, here is the deal.
....omit the Mafia diplomacy.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/fearow
Fearow is a standard Choice Bander.
Omit.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/feraligatr
Simple Choice Bander.
Really, there's no point in thesse sentences. The set name already established the fact that a given Pokemon is a Choice Bander, no point in saying 'standard' or 'simple'.

Substitute is a really good move on Feraligatr, so it gets its own mention.
Substitute deserves a mention, since it's quite a decent move to use on Feraligatr.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/floatzel
Standard fare here, as we choose Floatzel's most effective physical attacks and slap a Choice Band on it.
Omit.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/forretress
Switch this guy in on Pokémon it can wall fairly well, such as Weavile or a Heracross (although avoid switching in on Close Combat), or perhaps even an Outraging Garchomp. Then set up Spikes with impunity.
Switch Forry in to things it can wall fairly well, such as Weavile, Heracross (avoid switching in on Close Combat) and perhaps an Outraging Garchomp, and proceed to set up Spikes.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/gallade
Gallade has an excellent movepool which makes it a hard Pokémon to counter.
Move this to the 'Counter' or 'Opinion' section, it shouldn't be in set commentary.

This is a pretty simple and useful moveset.
Omit.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/garchomp
The bread and butter Garchomp set.
A 'meh' sentence, omit if you want.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/girafarig
Girafarig can Baton Pass a myriad of stat boosts, of which only the best are included in the above set.
While Girafarig can Baton Pass all kinds of stat boosts, only the best and most usable ones are included in this set.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/giratina
This is the Calm Mind set.
Your standard Sleep Talker.
Omit these...

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/glalie
Physical Glalie.
Special Glalie.
Omit.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/groudon
Cresselia is probably the best counter for Groudon that exists; it has high HP and Defense that can quite easily take the best that Groudon can throw at it, along with a Moonlight that is boosted in sunlight to roughly 67% of healing.
More of an error than a grammar correction--the use of Shadow Claw wasn't assessed, and so is not a counter.

I guess that's all for now... xD
 
I was so busy lately, I apologize for not updating it more. =/

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/huntail
He has a few options to use his decent physical attack now, so this is rather obvious.
Now that Huntail has more options to utilize its decent physical attack, a Choice Band set is rather obvious.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/hypno
The old standard returns.
Omit.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/illumise
Typical Bug type Baton Passer.
Omit.

I promise I'll do more another time. Dx
 
http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/smeargle

The ultimate instant Baton Passer setup. This thing works marvels. It's useful to have Electrode, Exploud, Mr. Mime, Magneton, Octillery, or Cradily on your team, but not required. This works simply: Send out Smeargle against something slow, use Substitute.
The flashy intro is unneccesary (sp?). It could read like:
This set puts a unique talent of Smeargle's to work: Baton Passin a Belly Drum. It's useful to have Electrode, Exploud, Mr. Mime, Magneton, Octillery, or Cradily on your team, but not required. This works simply: Send out Smeargle against something slow, use Substitute.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/lickilicky
"Swords Dance up and sweep". It sounds easy, but Speed issues will cut you down.
Just omit this. We all know what a SD set does.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/magmortar
This is the set you want to use in standard play.
Considering the set's name is "Standard Set", this is obvious and needs to be omitted.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/ninjask
If you can scare your opponents with Ninjask so that he switches out (which Ninjask does pretty well on its own since its face is not pretty), you can get in your Swords Dance, and try to sweep a little from there.
The part in parentheses should be omitted.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/rhyperior
This is for sweeping, thanks to Rhyperior's excellent 140 base attack and Swords Dance.
We know it's for sweeping. Change to:
"Thanks to Rhyperior's excellent 140 base attack and Swords Dance, a sweeping set is very viable."
Or just omit entirely.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/spiritomb
This is an attacking Spiritomb.
Omit. The set's name is Attacker, anyway.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/tentacruel
Supporting Tentacruel.
Again, the set already says it all: Supporter. Omit this.
(On a side note, I think the support set should be displayed first as it is most useful to the metagame and it's moreso standard. Swords Dance set shouldn't be displayed first IMO.)

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/weezing
A basic physical sponging set.
Omit. The set gives it away.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/zangoose
Swords Dance and sweep is the basic idea.
Omit, refer to my comments about Rhyperior.

This is your run of the mill Choice Band user.
Omit, this is obvious given the set name.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/tyranitar
Choice Band Tyranitar is monstrously powerful.
Change to:
"Choice Band Tyranitar is very powerful because it hits hard right off the bat."
Or just omit.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/typhlosion
This set is meant to be a leading Typhlosion.
Set's name is "Choice Scarf Starter" so this is useless.


Overall, there are a lot of intro sentences that basically restate the set name. Like, for example, Choice Specs X. "This is a Choice Specs set."
 
http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/darkrai
Ok, here's how this set works.
....what can I say?

Fun to use.
Same as above.

Your basic Choice Specs set here. However, the First 3 sets probably work better since you're cutting down Darkrai's versatility.
Whoever wrote this probably hates Darkrai. The entire set analysis explains nothing! xD Note: There's only three moves on the set anyways.
Click to expand...
Excuse me but Darkrai is my favorite pokemon. I might as well delete the entire Swords Dance set and Specs set for that matter since they're really gimmicks.

Will edit those later.
EDIT: edited
 
Guys, just because an introduction doesn't "add anything" doesn't mean its not useful from a readability standpoint. Introduction sentences should rarely be omitted unless their following sentences also serve as a good introduction, which most don't...

I was looking for removal of sentences that say stuff like "Using this set is easy" or "This set is a beast" or "Ok here's how this set works" other nonsense.
 
http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/grumpig
Tricking is very evil. If you switch in Grumpig on a random attack...

It's true enough, but I feel the first sentence meets the criteria for a dumb sentence. It can be removed.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/kabutops
I doubt that Kabutops has the defenses to use this too well, but it is at least half decent. Life Orb is an alternative, but I would advise against it.

That right there is the entire set description. The opening sentence makes me wonder if it's even worth including. Either way, it should still be worded differently. Perhaps "Kabutops' poor defences and typing hold him back whilst using this set."

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/infernape
Attack-boosting Infernape is quite a beast.

big chaos said:
I was looking for removal of sentences that say stuff like "Using this set is easy" or "This set is a beast"
Click to expand...

Sentence can be removed altogether IMO.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/lapras
Not much to say about this one.

That sentence achieves nothing and should be left out.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/machamp
This is pretty much a standard Choice Bander set.

Doesn't exactly harm the analysis, but it's a bit similar to saying "Using this set is easy" like chaos alluded to.


[URL]http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/magnezone[/url]
This set exploits Magnezone's new-improved defenses in DP.

I know what is trying to be said here, but Magnezones defences aren't new and improved in DP, because he never existed prior to DP.
 
http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/zapdos

"A team player set. Set up an Agility..."

Really adds nothing that isn't obvious imo.

"This set has a defensive set-up. You can afford..."

Incredibly obvious.

http://www.smogon.com:81/dp/pokemon/wigglytuff

"Wigglytuff has a plethora of options, but it may be best suited to do more simple things."

This might be a little too picky, but it seems obvious due to the set and comments.

"This angry Wigglytuff is a mean, pink, punchin’ dude. Your basic choice bander with a good amount of coverage, an all-out attacking Wigglytuff is far from expected."

Bold I know isn't needed, and underlined is kinda obvious.
 
regards to wigglytuff.

that is a stylistic sentence, not really a problem. it gives the analysis personality, they don't all have to be bland. i agree with the underlined part.
 
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