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Welcome to Smogon! Take a moment to read the Introduction to Smogon for a run-down on everything Smogon, and make sure you take some time to read the global rules.
Nihilego’s Rock and Poison-typing/ Poison typing and above averageabove-average special bulk allowsallow it to setupset up Stealth Rock on threatening Fire- and Fairy-types like SylveonMoltres and Moltres, granting it several opportunities to setup Stealth RockSylveon. It’s(pretty sure this is all just fluff/repetitive)
- More or less perfect, save for one bit. When you cut "granting it several opportunities," you removed just a little bit of information from the sentence. Moving it upwards, the prelude to "threatening Fire- and Fairy-types" would be "above-average special bulk allow it several opportunities to set up Stealth Rock". Otherwise perfect, good catch on Fire -> Moltres and Fairy -> Sylveon.
Its strong Special Attack and decent Speed tier also allow it to threaten key Pokemon like Togekiss orand Celebi,(AC) and Life Orb boostedOrb-boosted Thunderbolt eases Nihilego's matchup intoagainstbulky Water TypesWater-types like Empoleon orand Tentacruel,(AC) with little prior damage ensuring its entry hazards remain on the field.
- This is basically perfect too, but it's a bit long overlong, given that it discusses two sentences for the price of one. There are two clauses here: the stats one and the Thunderbolt one, and stacking them alongside with lists leads to the original sentence being rather dense. Therefore, they should be split after "Celebi".
- Special Attack cannot be "strong," so "high" would be a more suitable replacement.
- The Thunderbolt sentence is a tad lacking in clarity.
"Thunderbolt eases Nihilego's matchup against bulky Water-types like Empoleon and Tentacruel, with little prior damage ensuring its entry hazards remain on the field."
- Essential information for the reader is missing here, particularly pertaining to why killing these two ensures the entry hazards remain on the field (they're hazard removal! but it's not mentioned); of course, adding anything here would be adding content, so a comment should be left for the writer in this situation.
However, Nihilego has abysmal Physical Defense (RC) and cannot switch-inswitch in to even some resisted Physicalattacks, so physically bulky teammates like Scizor orand Slowbro can assist it.
- Very good, I liked how you got some repetition changes in too. No changes, good work.
Nihilego also sports a crippling weaknessis very susceptible to the common Ground- and Steel-types (changed this verbiage bc Nihilego isn't weak to the Pokemon themselves, I think this fix works?) in UU with few options outside of Grass Knot, HPHidden Power Ice in Gliscor's case,(AC) and a Z MoveZ-Move(What Z Move? Don't we need the name of the move?)
- Good work. You can't be weak to the Pokemon themselves, but you can be weak to the moves. A mild improvement could be "sports a crippling vulnerability to..." as a slightly less intrusive change to "is very susceptible," but anyone on your case for that is looking to nitpick.
- A Z-Move name isn't actually necessary here, as it's just saying that Nihilego having a Z-Move would allow it to break through Ground- and Steel-types.
to utilise against them, so pairing it with teammates whichthat can handle them, such as Breloom and Chandelure, gives Nihilego more opportunities to break (RC) and ensure Stealth Rock stays up. (I wasn't sure if this sentence was too long or not, I considered breaking it up and making the new sentence start with "Pairing", but was unsure)
Thanks for the feedback Ascension Evermore. Tried a beginner one as you suggested.
Ceruledge is an exceptional early gameearly-game breaker on Fire-teamsFire teams as it has access to strong STABs(RC)STAB moves and priority. Swords Dance allows it to setupset up quickly, enabling it to break opponents whofoes that would otherwise take hits likewith relative ease, such as Toxapex or Goodra-Hisui with relative ease. Boosted Poltergeist is essential to hit Fire resistsFire-resistant Pokemon like Gouging-FireGouging Fire, Toxapex, Skeledirge,(AC) and Heatran,(AC) as it is otehrwiseotherwise has a bad matchup intoagainst them. Weak Armor paired with Focus Sash provides a speed Speed boost to Ceruledge (RC) while also preventing it from being OHKOdOHKOed if there are no hazards.
- "breaker" as a standalone typically refers to "wallbreaker" or "stallbreaker," so it should be changed to reflect that. More often than not it can be assumed to be "wallbreaker," but if you're unsure, leaving a comment for the analysis writer is ideal.
- A comma must go before "as," as here it means "because." Note that "so" and "since" follow this rule as well, but "because" itself doesn't. This is in the GP Beginner Document, which I highly recommend reading/cross-referencing your check throughout.
Swords Dance allows it to setupset up quickly, enabling it to break opponents whofoes that would otherwise take hits likewith relative ease, such as Toxapex or Goodra-Hisui with relative ease.
- "Goodra-Hisui" should be Hisuian Goodra. This follows for other region-based forms, like Alolan Raichu, Galarian Slowking, Hisuian Zoroark, etc., which should always be corrected to the above.
Boosted Poltergeist is essential to hit Fire resistsFire-resistant Pokemon like Gouging-FireGouging Fire, Toxapex, Skeledirge,(AC) and Heatran,(AC) as it is otehrwiseotherwise has a bad matchup intoagainst them.
- The "Boosted" at the start of the sentence is a bit logically suspect, as Poltergeist would hit all of the above targets whether boosted or not. Leaving a comment for the writer here would be ideal, and I would ask if they intended something like "After a boost, Poltergeist can beat..."
- The "it" in "as it otherwise" needs to be clarified as "Ceruledge," as it currently refers to Poltergeist due to the sentence opening. Poltergeist cannot have a bad matchup into opposing Pokemon, but Ceruledge can.
- Good work catching "resists," not many get that on the first shot.
Weak Armor paired with Focus Sash provides a speed boost to Ceruledge (RC) while also preventing it from being OHKOdOHKOed if there are no hazards.
- The "speed" in "speed boost" needs to be capitalized to "Speed," as it refers to the Speed stat. This follows for every other stat in the game. Note that "speed" must be referring to the stat, so things like "speed control" aren't capitalized, while "Speed tie" and "Speed tier" are.
- "hazards" needs to be "entry hazards," as it is the first mention of "hazards" in the paragraph. You only have to do this once per paragraph, though.
Thanks earthfromthefuture for the review, hope the earth has managed to solve global warming because it's hot af where I am. Last one today.
Brave Bird hits threatening Grass-Types and Fighting TypesFighting-type Pokemon such as Amoonguss, Celebi,(AC)andor Infernape super-effectivelysuper effectively(RC) while also having the ability to revenge-kill weakneedrevenge kill weakened slower opponentsfoes. Z-Brave Bird OHKOsOHKOes Latias and Hydreigon after Stealth RocksRock damage, but running it means Crobat cannot run Black Sludge. U-turn allows Crobat to utiliseutilize its high Speed to pivot out of Flying resistsresistant Pokemon that it has a bad match up intomatchup against(RC) while keeping up momentum for its team. Taunt is essential,(AC) as it shuts down defensive Pokemon such as Alomomola (RC) and prevents opponents such as Hippowdon from being able to setupset up entry hazards .
Cloyster is a strong late gamelate-game presence on hyper offense teams with strong wall breakerswallbreakers and set upsetup sweepers. It struggles to break through bulky Water typesWater-types and other Ice resistsIce-resistant Pokemon since it lacks coverage; partners such asgoing directly cloyster --> serperior felt a lil off Serperior OHKOscan OHKO them with super-effective STABssuper effective STAB movesis directly stating leaf storm correct here? if serperior clicks idk razor leaf its not getting +2 spatk which makes the next dependent clause inaccurate, while pressuring other opponentsfoes with its boosted Special Attack. Cloyster also has a bad matchup intoagainst Infernape and Breloom,(AC) as they have access to super-effective priortiysuper effective priority moves such as Vacuum Wave and Mach Punch. Defoggers like Altaria-MegaMega Altaria, Hydreigon,(AC)ornot sure if there should be oxford comma, i ctrl f "oxford" in the standards and didnt find anythingand Gliscor help Cloyster,(AC) as it is relied onits vulnerability to switch in often andStealth Rock prevents it cannot do so due to its vulnerability to Stealth Rocksfrom consistently switching in. idrk what to do with the last sentence
Brave Bird hits threatening Grass-Types and Fighting TypesFighting-type Pokemon such as Amoonguss, Celebi,(AC)andor Infernape super-effectivelysuper effectively(RC) while also having the ability to revenge-kill weakneedrevenge kill weakened slower opponentsfoes.
Z-moves should use the actual name of the move, so "Z-Brave Bird" should be "Supersonic Skystrike."
U-turn allows Crobat to utiliseutilize its high Speed to pivot out of Flying resistsresistant Pokemon that it has a bad match up intomatchup against(RC) while keeping up momentum for its team.
It should be "Flying-resistant Pokemon" with a hyphen.
Taunt is essential,(AC) as it shuts down defensive Pokemon such as Alomomola (RC) and prevents opponents such as Hippowdon from being able to setupset up entry hazards .
You caught this in an earlier sentence, but "opponents" should be "foes" here because it refers to the opposing Pokemon, not the human player.
Also, be careful with copying over formatting from the tool. There's an extra space before the period here. The tool can sometimes add or remove spaces, so it's good to double-check that and fix it before you post.
Great work here overall! I think you're ready to move on to the Intermediate-level exercises - feel free to try one out when you get the chance!
Welcome! Please make sure to read through the resources linked in the OP of this thread; in particular, I want to highlight the GP Beginner Notes document, which I'll be referring to below.
Cloyster is a strong late gamelate-game presence on hyper offense teams with strong wall breakerswallbreakers and set upsetup sweepers.
It struggles to break through bulky Water typesWater-types and other Ice resistsIce-resistant Pokemon since it lacks coverage; partners such asgoing directly cloyster --> serperior felt a lil off Serperior OHKOscan OHKO them with super-effective STABssuper effective STAB movesis directly stating leaf storm correct here? if serperior clicks idk razor leaf its not getting +2 spatk which makes the next dependent clause inaccurate, while pressuring other opponentsfoes with its boosted Special Attack.
From the Beginner Notes: Commas should be used before ‘as’ and ‘since’ if they mean because; the word ‘because’ itself does not need this.
Here, if you replaced "since" with "because," the sentence would have the same meaning, so "since" is used to mean "because" in this sentence, so there should be a comma before it.
There's nothing wrong with directly saying "Serperior" after the semicolon; in fact, adding "partners such as" constitutes a content change that makes this sentence incorrect, since it now implies that there are partners other than Serperior (that are unnamed) that also OHKO the bulky Water-types with super effective STAB moves while boosting Special Attack, but that's not necessarily true (this would require a secondviable Grass- or Electric-type Contrary user), and it's certainly not what the original sentence was communicating.
In general, it's very important not to make content changes to analyses when GP checking. The content of analyses is already approved by QC teams before we ever take a look at them, and QC won't be looking at it again after our check, so it's important not to change any of that approved content. If you have QC-related concerns about an analysis as a GP checker, your best option is to leave a comment rather than directly implementing a change.
From the Beginner Notes: Commas before 'while' are needed when it means 'whereas' / is showing contrast. If 'while' is used to mean 'at the same time as' then a comma should not be used.
Here, "pressuring other foes with its boosted Special Attack" is done at the same time as OHKOing bulky Water-types with super effective STAB moves, so it's not showing contrast, so the comma before "while" should be removed.
It's true that Serperior could theoretically use other super effective STAB moves that might not boost its Special Attack, but Leaf Storm is often the only viable STAB move for Serperior to run, so it's fine to ignore the other possibilities. Because it comes down to the viability of the moves involved, this is more of a QC decision than a GP one.
Cloyster also has a bad matchup intoagainst Infernape and Breloom,(AC) as they have access to super-effective priortiysuper effective priority moves such as Vacuum Wave and Mach Punch.
Defoggers like Altaria-MegaMega Altaria, Hydreigon,(AC)ornot sure if there should be oxford comma, i ctrl f "oxford" in the standards and didnt find anythingand Gliscor help Cloyster,(AC) as it is relied onits vulnerability to switch in often andStealth Rock prevents it cannot do so due to its vulnerability to Stealth Rocksfrom consistently switching in. idrk what to do with the last sentence
Smogon does indeed use the Oxford comma, as stated in the Beginner Notes.
Although some individual things in the second half of this sentence did need fixing, the overall sentence structure was workable as is. The change you've suggested isn't grammatically incorrect, but it makes a much more drastic change than is actually needed. From the Beginner Notes:
Preserve Voice:We want to preserve as much of the original writer’s voice as possible.
This likely differs from other writing and editing advice where efficiency comes first, but in Smogon’s case, voice is valued more.
Writers are often interested in contributing to get their own words on-site, so us heavily rewriting them when there’s no real need can be discouraging.
Don’t Make Lateral Changes: A lateral change is a change from one correct word/phrase -> a second correct word/phrase that doesn’t have a prose justification and is made based on preference / “this sounds better”. This introduces a lateral change.
You want to make sure you're checking what's in the analysis and not what you'd personally write if this was your own analysis.
If you can’t justify a change, it’s likely more of a personal preference; in GP, we want to put the writer’s preferences first.
Make the Least Intrusive Change: Make the change that preserves as much of the original wording as possible.
Prose editing is more subjective than fixing grammar errors, so there are often multiple options to fix the same error; some of these are more intrusive than others.
A good edit involves making the change that preserves as much as possible to maintain voice.
For example, if one word is repeated, you would want to change that single word instead of rewriting the whole sentence because that's more intrusive.
The original read, "...help Cloyster as it is relied on to switch in often and it cannot do so due to its vulnerability to Stealth Rocks."
Here, "as" means "because," so there should be a comma before it.
It's "Stealth Rock," not "Stealth Rocks."
Whenever an independent clause follows a FANBOYS (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so) conjunction, there should be a comma before the conjunction. Here, "it cannot do so due to its vulnerability to Stealth Rock" is an independent clause, so there should be a comma before "and."
With these changes, it reads, "...help Cloyster, as it is relied on to switch in often, and it cannot do so due to its vulnerability to Stealth Rock." This preserves the structure that the writer intended for this sentence while fixing the grammar errors, which is what we prefer over restructuring the sentence entirely.
This was pretty good for a first workshop! I encourage you to go through the Beginner Notes and especially pay attention to make sure you're not making lateral or unnecessarily intrusive changes. Feel free to try another Beginner exercise when you feel ready, and let me know via Forum or Discord PM if you have any questions!
Thanks again. Wasn't sure about a few things in this one, so added those thoughts in comments (although I realise actual comments are meant for the writer).
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One of BreloomsBreloom's main struggles is getting past Poison TypesPoison-types like Vileplume, Dragalge,(AC) and Slowbro-GalarGalarian Slowbro, so Psychic- and Ground-types like Munkidori, Uxie, orand Flygon are greatly appreciated. The former two as well as Kilowattrel and Dragalge new partner suggestions. don't think a comma before "as well as" is appropriate here, as it would make this an aside? excel at pivoting Breloom in on Dark- and Steel-types like Klefki, Registeel,(AC)and Alolan Mukor Muk-Alolamaybe reorder to place the Dark-type first? with their U-turn and Flip Turn. Articuno-GGalarian Articuno is an exceptionally good partner whichthat can provide U-turn support and can use Future Sight to limit Breloom's switchinsswitch-ins even further, and abuseas well aschanged it to address a possible serial "and" casetake advantage of Vileplume's Strength Sap with its Competitive. In a similar vein, pivot partners such as Mienshao, Incineroar, Inteleon,(AC) and the aforementioned Flygon make good partners,(AC) since they commonly draw in Water typesWater-types like Vaporeon, Milotic, Gastrodon,(AC)andor Swampert (RC) for Breloom to abuseexploit. Teammates like Incineroar, A-Muk(RC)Alolan Muk and Bronzong (RC)Incineroar was already mentioned before, but for a different reason also make for decent teammates, handling the Psychic- and Fairy-types (RC) like Uxie, Munkidori, Whimsicott,(AC)andor Sylveon whothat force Breloom out.
One of BreloomsBreloom's main struggles is getting past Poison TypesPoison-types like Vileplume, Dragalge,(AC) and Slowbro-GalarGalarian Slowbro, so Psychic- and Ground-types like Munkidori, Uxie, orand Flygon are greatly appreciated.
The former two as well as Kilowattrel and Dragalge new partner suggestions. don't think a comma before "as well as" is appropriate here, as it would make this an aside? excel at pivoting Breloom in on Dark- and Steel-types like Klefki, Registeel,(AC)and Alolan Mukor Muk-Alolamaybe reorder to place the Dark-type first? with their U-turn and Flip Turn.
To address your comment, it's not quite that commas around "as well as" aren't appropriate, but rather that they're not necessary. Since the writer didn't include them, we stick with that preference (but if the writer had included them, we would have stuck with that preference, too). You're correct that it would turn "as well as Kilowattrel and Dragalge" into an aside.
You're spot-on with your other comment as well, about reordering the list. Either you can place the Dark-type first, or you can change the earlier part to say "Steel- and Dark-types" rather than "Dark- and Steel-types."
This isn't a grammar thing, but as a matter of best practice, it's generally good to leave a comment when you suggest to add a hyphen or other punctuation mark, since that can be difficult for a writer to spot sometimes. The tool does commas, periods, and semicolons for you, but it's usually better to say something yourself for other punctuation marks as well.
Articuno-GGalarian Articuno is an exceptionally good partner whichthat can provide U-turn support and can use Future Sight to limit Breloom's switchinsswitch-ins even further, and abuseas well aschanged it to address a possible serial "and" casetake advantage of Vileplume's Strength Sap with its Competitive.
Changing the "and" to "as well as" is an okay fix, but the cleanest fix here is actually to just turn this into a three-item list: "Galarian Articuno is an exceptionally good partner that can provide U-turn support, use Future Sight to limit Breloom's switch-ins even further, and take advantage of Vileplume's Strength Sap with its Competitive."
In a similar vein, pivot partners such as Mienshao, Incineroar, Inteleon,(AC) and the aforementioned Flygon make good partners,(AC) since they commonly draw in Water typesWater-types like Vaporeon, Milotic, Gastrodon,(AC)andor Swampert (RC) for Breloom to abuseexploit.
Note that "partners" is repeated here, so you could change "pivot partners" to just "pivots."
Teammates like Incineroar, A-Muk(RC)Alolan Muk and Bronzong (RC)Incineroar was already mentioned before, but for a different reason also make for decent teammates, handling the Psychic- and Fairy-types (RC) like Uxie, Munkidori, Whimsicott,(AC)andor Sylveon whothat force Breloom out.
Because Incineroar was mentioned in a different context before, it's fine to repeat it here because you're providing a different reason why it is a good partner, so that information is not redundant from the previous sentence (note that adding Incineroar back means you would also need to add the Oxford comma back in).
Similar to the last sentence, "teammates" is repeated here, so you could just start the sentence with "Incineroar."
This was a pretty impressive first Intermediate-level exercise! Make sure to keep an eye out for those repeated words and fix them. Feel free to try another Intermediate-level exercise when you're ready!
Decided to come back to learning GP again. This time either I commit or give up forever...
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Ceruledge is an exceptional early game breakerearly-game wallbreaker on Fire-teamsFire teams,(AC) as it has access to strong STABs(RC)STAB moves and priority. Swords Dance allows it to setupset up quickly, enabling it to break opponents withfoes(opponent is the enemy trainer; foe refers to the Pokemon)thatrelative ease who would otherwise take hits like Toxapex or Goodra-Hisuiand Hisuian Goodra(regional variants are written as "Region-an Pokemon Name")with relative ease. Poltergeist is essential for Ceruledge to hit Fire resistsFire-resistant Pokemon like Gouging-FireGouging Fire, Toxapex, Skeledirge,(AC) and Heatran,(AC) as it is otehrwiseotherwise has a bad matchup intoagainst them. Weak Armor paired with Focus Sash provides a Speed boost to Ceruledge (RC) while also preventing it from being OHKOdOHKOed if there are no entry hazards.
When you use an "either"/"or" construction, the part after the "either" and the part after the "or" need to each independently work with the rest of the sentence. Here, because "either" is before "I," the "I" doesn't carry over to the second part. So the sentence reads as, "this time I commit or this time give up forever." If you move "either" after "I," it will read as, "this time I commit or this time I give up forever," which is what you meant. In this case, though, the point is kinda moot because your only option is to commit anyway, so the premise of the sentence is mistaken from the start.
...what? oh, the exercise? yeah it looks perfect go to the intermediates lol, only thing is that you don't need to use a comment when you're making an objective change, those are usually only needed if you're asking for clarification about something or if there's some larger change that you might need to explain/clarify for the writer.
Slither-WingSlither Wing is a niche defensive pivot whichthat uses it'sits interesting typetyping, serviceable bulk,(AC) and reliable recovery in Morning Sun to check attackers (all the Pokemon mentioned are physical attackers, probably worth specifying) like Great Tusk, Breloom,(AC)andor Kingambit. U-turn generates momentum for Slither-Wing'sSlither Wing's team against monsPokemon such as Flutter Mane and Skeledirge,(AC) and it importantly allows Slither-WingSlither Wing to avoid being trapped by Gothitelle. Close Combat OHKOsOHKOes Iron Bundle and Chi-Yu and 2HKOs2HKOes Miraidon,(AC) which Body Press cannot do. Will-O-Wisp's burn stops the Pokemon Slither-Wing(probably worth giving examples)Slither Wing checks from using it as set upsetup fodder (RC)itand also punishes opponentsfoes such as Toxapex orand Corviknight for switching in. Morning Sun heals Slither-Wing for 50% of its healthSlither Wing(dex info), helping it to consistently switch into Great Tusk. Tera Water provides a resistance to Fire typeFire-type attacks from Koraidon and Chi-Yu (RC) and Water typeWater-type attacks from Iron Bundle and Palafin,(AC) allowing for a last ditchlast-ditch counterattack. 168 Speed EVs out speed adamantallow Slither Wing to outspeed Adamant Breloom and the rest are dumped into its physical bulk.
when editing prose, it is important to preserve the writer's voice as much as possible, and you should be making sure that the changes you make are the least intrusive ones. while this change is grammatically correct, a less intrusive change would be simply changing the comma after "fodder" to a semi-colon.
168 Speed EVs out speed adamantallow Slither Wing to outspeed Adamant Breloom and the rest are dumped into its physical bulk.
"the rest are dumped into its physical bulk." <-- this is an independent clause, so a comma before "and" is required to connect it with the preceding clause.
also, "the rest are dumped into physical bulk" is grammatically correct as is, so the addition of "its" here wasnt required here.
Cloyster is a strong late game presence on hHyper oOffense teams with strong wall breakerswallbreakers and set up sweepers. It struggles to break through bulky Water-types and other Ice-resists since it lacks coverage; Serperior OHKOs them with super-effective STABs, while pressuring other opponents with its boosted special attack. Cloyster also has a bad matchup into against Infernape and Breloom as they have access to super-effective priortiy priority moves such as Vacuum Wave and Mach Punch. Defoggers like Altaria-Mega, Hydreigon, or Gliscor help Cloyster as it is relied on to switch in often and but it cannot do so due to its vulnerability to Stealth Rocks.
Welcome to GP! Firstly, I'd like to highlight some issues with the formatting of your check.GP changes should always be made in bold, and any punctuation changes (such as adding/removing commas) need to be marked on with comments such as AC, RC (add comma/remove comma) so they're visible to a writer. A red comma is very difficult to see if you're not specifically looking for it, so changes that aren't marked will be missed by writers.
We have a formatting tool that automatically does this for you: Zrp200 has created a tool that auto-formats GP checks, which can be found here. A guide on how to use the auto-formatting tool can be found here. We highly highly recommend using the tool because it pretty much halves the time and effort needed to complete a GP check by entirely removing manual formatting. If you choose not to use it, then manually formatted checks need to meet the same high standards for readability.
I also want to flag two essential resources that will help you with future checks; these are also in the OP of this thread and #read-me in the GP server:
autumn has complied a beginner-friendly document containing key standards and grammar rules to learn as well as advice on subjective changes and proofreading.
The Spelling and Grammar Standards is a full list of the criteria the GP team follows (we suggest bookmarking it). If you've lurked here on Smogon for a while, a lot of the common terms and usage of the terms should be somewhat second-nature by now, which is a huge benefit. If you haven't lurked very much, not to worry; this is a task that becomes easier with experience because there's a lot of repetition. It won't take long to catch on even though it may seem like a ton.
The Beginner Notes doc especially contains the majority of content taht you will need, simplified for someone getting into GP. Make sure you always have the notes and standards open while checking to cross-reference some of these rules I'll cover below - GP isn't a memory test, so please don't hesitate to use our resources!
Onto the check:
Cloyster is a strong late game presence on hHyper oOffense teams with strong wall breakerswallbreakers and set up sweepers.
There needs to be a hyphen in 'late-game'. This applies to early-game, mid-game as well.
The correct term is 'setup sweepers'. The term set up is a verb, so an action (to set up, Garchomp can set up on Chansey etc). Setup without a space is a noun/thing, so it applies to contexts like setup sweeper, setup move, setup opportunity etc.
It struggles to break through bulky Water-types and other Ice-resists since it lacks coverage; Serperior OHKOs them with super-effective STABs, while pressuring other opponents with its boosted special attack.
The term 'resist' cannot be used as a noun, meaning a Pokemon cannot be a resist. To deal with these, you can say 'Ice-resistant Pokemon' or something that carries the same meaning like 'Ice-type checks'.
There needs to be a comma before 'since' here. Commas should be used before ‘as’ and ‘since’ if they mean because; the word ‘because’ itself does not need this. All comma rules are documented right at the top of the beginner notes doc.
OHKOs should be changed to OHKOes. OHKOes is the verb/action form (Dragapult OHKOes Gengar), whereas OHKOs/KOs etc is the noun form (it can pick up KOs).
The term super effective is not hyphenated.
'STABs' can't be used on its own. STAB = same type attack bonus, so this sentence functionally says Serperior can OHKO things with a bonus. Instead, you want 'STAB move' or 'STAB attack'.
Good change removing the comma before 'while' - note to mark these changes on in future.
'Opponent' refers to the opposing human player, whereas we use 'foe' or similar to refer to an opposing Pokemon. Serperior can't OHKO the person behind the computer, so you want 'foes' here.
Stats need to be capitalised, so special attack -> Special Attack.
Cloyster also has a bad matchup into against Infernape and Breloom as they have access to super-effective priortiy priority moves such as Vacuum Wave and Mach Punch.
You need a comma before 'as' here. Per above, you use commas before 'as' when it's being used to mean because.
Similarly to above, super effective needs the hyphen removed.
Defoggers like Altaria-Mega, Hydreigon, or Gliscor help Cloyster as it is relied on to switch in often and but it cannot do so due to its vulnerability to Stealth Rocks.
Altaria-Mega should be Mega Altaria. Some Pokemon forme names differ from the PS teambuiler, and Mega Evolutions are formatted as Mega [Pokemon]. Different Pokemon forme names are in the first point of the standards, so make sure to actively reference that when you come across a new one because they're not always intuitive.
The 'or' should be 'and' here because Defoggers is plural, per the rule in hide tags below. Please let me know if this one isn't clear and we can go through some more examples!
‘And’ grammatically is a plural word. 'Or' grammatically is a singular word.
If you're referring to multiple things (teammates, threats, foes etc), this makes the subject plural because it's referring to more than one thing. Therefore, you need to use 'and' in lists of examples to make sure that the plural subject agrees with the plural word 'and'
If you're talking about one thing (a teammate, a threat, a foe etc), this makes the subject singular because it's only referring to one single thing. Therefore, you need to use the singular word 'or' to agree with that singular subject.
In a list of examples, you need to look for two things:
1. The subject of what the examples are (so something like threats, teammates, foes etc- what the list items are examples of)
2. The connecting word used to separate the list items (either 'and' or 'or')
You need the 1 and 2 to agree grammatically. (If 1 is plural, then 2 needs to be 'and'. The word 'and' is plural, so there's agreement. If 1 is singular (so if it said 'a foe' instead of 'foes'), then 2 needs to be 'or' for agreement).
If 1 is plural and 2 is singular / 1 is singular and 2 is plural, there isn't agreement, and the sentence is incorrect. You need to make sure 2 matches 1.
It is best to change the connecting word rather than the subject because the writer can intentionally make that part singular or plural depending on context / metagame information.
If there isn’t a subject, and there’s a sentence like ‘It checks Pikachu and Rotom’, this rule doesn’t apply specifically, and context should be used. ‘Or’ implies more exclusivity, so saying it checks ‘x and y’ implies both, whereas ‘x or y’ is one or the other, not both at the same time.
You need a comma before 'as' here as well.
The use of 'and' was fine here, so there's no need to make a change. However, you need a comma before that 'and'. Commas before 'and' 'but' 'or' are only needed if the clause that comes after it is independent (meaning it’s a grammatically correct sentence without depending on the other part to make sense). If it isn’t independent, the comma should not be used. In this case, the clause after the 'and' does make sense as its own sentence, so you need to add a comma.
The move name is Stealth Rock, not Rocks. Move names should all be formatted aligned to the PS teambuilder.
This may seem like a lot, but the other Beginner exercises have similar errors in them so you can have a go at applying this feedback and using the resources to help! Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.
Black Glasses and Tera Dark should exclusively be used with Kowtow Cleave,(AC) as these enhance Kingambit's offensive pressure; with 5five Supreme Overlord boosts, Kingambit can reach feats like 2HKOing Dondozo with Kowtow Cleave and 1HKOing Walking-WakeOHKOing Walking Wake and,(AC) at +2,(AC) Dragonite through Multiscale with Sucker Punch. Air Balloon allows Kingambit to setupset up on would bewould-be checks in Landorus-T and most Great TusksTusk, become a sturdy switch in toswitch-in against offense threats like Kyurem, Roaring Moon, and Dragonite whothat rely on their Ground-type coverage to hit it, and gain an immunity to Spikes,(AC)whichthat limits Kingambit before it gets going. KingambitsKingambit's potential and defensive utility in the late gamelate-game make it a nearlynear staple on offensive archetypes from bulky to hyper offense while still fitting on balance. Physical attacking teammates like Ogerpon-WellspringOgerpon-W, Zamazenta, and Swords Dance Iron Valiant can overwhelm shared checks like ZanazentaZamazenta, Landorus-TherianLandorus-T, and Dondozo. Dark TypeDark-type offensive threatthreats in Darkrai (RC) and Samurott-HisuiHisuian Samurott form a DarkspamDark-type spam core with Kingambit to overwhelm Dark resistsDark-resistant Pokemon like Zamazenta and Tera Fairy users like GholdemgoGholdengo and Moltres together.
Ceruledge is an exceptional early game breakerearly-game wallbreaker on Fire-teams as it has access to both strong STABs (RC) and priority moves. Swords Dance allows it to setup quickly, enabling it to break opponentsfoes who would otherwise take hits like Toxapex or Goodra-Hisui. Poltergeist is essential for Ceruledge to hit Fire resistsFire-resistant Pokemon like Gouging-FireGouging Fire, Toxapex, Skeledirge,(AC) and Heatran as it is otehrwise has a bad matchup into them otherwise. Weak Armor paired with Focus Sash providescan provide a speed boost to Ceruledge, while also preventing it from being OHKOdOHKOed if there are no hazards present when Ceruledge switches in.
note for person reading this and checking this, I am not sure if the last sentence really needs to be changed? I feel like the sentence as it was originally misleads the reader into thinking Weak Armor ALWAYS gives a speed boost, while also "if no hazards are present" alone feels too vague? im not really sure
Black Glasses and Tera Dark should exclusively be used with Kowtow Cleave,(AC) as these enhance Kingambit's offensive pressure; with 5five Supreme Overlord boosts, Kingambit can reach feats like 2HKOing Dondozo with Kowtow Cleave and 1HKOing Walking-WakeOHKOing Walking Wake and,(AC) at +2,(AC) Dragonite through Multiscale with Sucker Punch.
Air Balloon allows Kingambit to setupset up on would bewould-be checks in Landorus-T and most Great TusksTusk, become a sturdy switch in toswitch-in against offense threats like Kyurem, Roaring Moon, and Dragonite whothat rely on their Ground-type coverage to hit it, and gain an immunity to Spikes,(AC)whichthat limits Kingambit before it gets going.
it should be offensive > offense since the threat itself (Kyurem for eg) is not offense/defense the correct term would be offensive/defensive.
switch-in against > switch-in to is a lateral change.
Both ‘switch into’ and ‘switch in on’ are accepted.
the 'into' vs 'against' rule applies when talking about matchups for eg Salamence has a bad matchup into x should be against x
refer to the "Prepositions" section of the beginner notes for more info
The list here should be made a semicolon list. This is mentioned in the beginner notes:
Use semicolons in a list to separate list items if one or more of the list items has a comma. This uses the structure to make it clear where the main list starts and ends, using semicolons for that and keeping commas for any sublists (Fire-types like Charizard; Grass-types like Venusaur, Meganium, and Sceptile; and Water-types like Blastoise)
So the corrected list would be:
Air Balloon allows Kingambit to set up on would-be checks in Landorus-T and most Great Tusk; become a sturdy switch-in to offensive threats like Kyurem, Roaring Moon, and Dragonite that rely on Ground-type coverage to hit it; and gain an immunity to Spikes, which limit Kingambit before it gets going.
KingambitsKingambit's potential and defensive utility in the late gamelate-game make it a nearlynear staple on offensive archetypes from bulky to hyper offense while still fitting on balance.
small nitpick "bulky" should be replaced with "bulky offense." It's better to directly spell out the archetypes.
Physical attacking teammates like Ogerpon-WellspringOgerpon-W, Zamazenta, and Swords Dance Iron Valiant can overwhelm shared checks like ZanazentaZamazenta, Landorus-TherianLandorus-T, and Dondozo.
'attacking' was not necessary here, Physical/Special is completely fine to use.
great job on everything else
Dark TypeDark-type offensive threatthreats in Darkrai (RC) and Samurott-HisuiHisuian Samurott form a DarkspamDark-type spam core with Kingambit to overwhelm Dark resistsDark-resistant Pokemon like Zamazenta and Tera Fairy users like GholdemgoGholdengo and Moltres together.
great job on most of the things here especially Dark-type spam
a couple small nitpicks
- "Dark-type offensive threats" and "Dark-type spam" is in the same sentence so we can possibly cut down on that repetition by simple saying "Offensive threats like X and Y form a Dark-type spam core..."
- See in "Dark-resistant Pokemon LIKE x AND Tera Fairy users LIKE x AND y"
same like...and structure is repeated so that is a possible change
also don't worry about these it's just additional prose changes and nobody will crucify you for not getting them. Since this is an advanced workshop i thought i would tell you about them as food for thought.
one more thing, we can take out the last 'together'. The phrase "form a Dark-type spam core with Kingambit" already implies that they are working together. Adding "together" at the end is redundant and doesn't modify anything specific.
There needs to be a comma before 'as' here. Note from previous feedback that you use a comma before the word 'as' if it's because used to mean 'because'. Note the method I shared in amchannel on checking for this error - if the sentence still makes sense with the word 'because' in that place, then you know as = because and you know you need a comma.
has access to both strong STABs (RC) and priority moves.
Note from the previous feedback that STABs on its own is not accepted. Note:
'STABs' can't be used on its own. STAB = same type attack bonus, so this sentence functionally says Serperior can OHKO things with a bonus. Instead, you want 'STAB move' or 'STAB attack'.
You also don't need to add 'both' here, and this is a lateral change. A lateral change is a change from one correct word/phrase -> a second correct word/phrase that doesn’t have a prose justification and is made based on preference / “this sounds better”. This is bad because it takes away correct words/phrases that the writer chose to use, which reduces the amount of voice they have in the analysis.
General rule is if there's nothing wrong with the original text, even if you personally would have done it differently, don't make a change.
Don’t Make Lateral Changes: A lateral change is a change from one correct word/phrase -> a second correct word/phrase that doesn’t have a prose justification and is made based on preference / “this sounds better”. This is bad because it takes away correct words/phrases that the writer chose to use, which reduces the amount of voice they have in the analysis.
You want to make sure you're checking what's in the analysis and not what you'd personally write if this was your own analysis.
If you can’t justify a change, it’s likely more of a personal preference; in GP, we want to put the writer’s preferences first.
Preserve Voice: We want to preserve as much of the original writer’s voice as possible.
This likely differs from other writing.editing advice where efficiency comes first, but in Smogon’s case, voice is valued more.
Writers are often interested in contributing to get their own words on-site, so us heavily rewriting them when there’s no real need can be discouraging.
Evaluate Small Changes Heavily: Single word/small phrase changes are much more likely to be lateral because fewer prose errors (e.g. overlong sentences) can apply to a single word.
If you’re changing one word to another / deleting a single word, it’s really important that you have a strong justification (e.g. repetition/redundancy).
Make the Least Intrusive Change: Make the change that preserves as much of the original wording as possible.
Prose editing is more subjective than fixing grammar errors, so there are often multiple options to fix the same error; some of these are more intrusive than others.
A good edit involves making the change that preserves as much as possible to maintain voice.
For example, if one word is repeated, you would want to change that single word instead of rewriting the whole sentence because that's more intrusive.
Swords Dance allows it to setup quickly, enabling it to break opponentsfoes who would otherwise take hits like Toxapex or Goodra-Hisui.
As covered in the previous feedback, 'setup' is a noun, whereas 'set up' is a verb. In this case, Swords Dance is letting Ceruledge do the action of setting up, so you want the verb form here. Note the phrases where you want the noun form instead like 'setup sweeper' setup move' 'setup option' etc where there is always another noun after that setup, which isn't the case here.
The word 'who' should not be used to refer to a Pokemon because they're not people.
Goodra-Hisui isn't correct here and should be Hisuian Goodra; note the previous feedback's recommendation to check all forme names on the standards when you come across a new one. You can also use ctrl + f to find what you need, as seen below:
foes who would otherwise take hits like Toxapex or Goodra-Hisui.
Similar to the previous exercise, the 'or' here should be changed to 'and'. This rule is a bit more complex, so as I said yesterday, please don't hesitate to ask if this doesn't make sense.
Or = singular word to connect things
And = plural word to connect things
If you're referring to multiple things (teammates, threats, foes etc), this makes thesubject pluralbecause it's referring to more than one thing. Therefore, you need to use 'and' in lists of examples to make sure that the plural subject agrees with the plural word 'and'
If you're talking about one thing (a teammate, a threat, a foe etc), this makes the subject singular because it's only referring to one single thing. Therefore, you need to use the singular word 'or' to agree with that singular subject.
In a list of examples, you need to look for two things: 1. The subjectof what the examples are (so something like threats, teammates, foes etc- what the list items are examples of) 2. The connecting wordused to separate the list items (either 'and' or 'or')
You need the 1 and 2 to agree grammatically.
If 1 is plural, then 2 needs to be 'and'. The word 'and' is plural as well, so there's agreement
If 1 is singular (so if it said 'a foe' instead of 'foes'), then 2 needs to be 'or'. The word 'or' is singular as well, so there's agreement.
If 1 is plural and 2 is singular / 1 is singular and 2 is plural, there isn't agreement, and the sentence is incorrect. You need to make sure 2 matches 1.
In an example like ‘Volcarona can set up on foes (1) like Corviknight or (2) Skarmory, you can see the 1 and 2 points highlighted. There isn’t agreement here because 1 is plural (foes), whereas 2 is singular (or). Both the subject and the word connecting the list need to match up - singular + singular or plural + plural.
In this sentence, you have 'foes (1) that would otherwise take hits like Toxapex or (2) 'Hisuian Goodra'. This doesn't match. 1 = foes = plural 2 = or = singular word
You want to make sure that 2 (the connecting word) matches 1 (the subject). The subject is plural, so the matching connecting word you need is 'and'.
Poltergeist is essential for Ceruledge to hit Fire resistsFire-resistant Pokemon like Gouging-FireGouging Fire, Toxapex, Skeledirge,(AC) and Heatran as it is otehrwise has a bad matchup into them otherwise.
You need a comma before 'as' here as wellm per above/previous feeback, 'Poltergeist is essential to hit xyz because it otherwise has a bad matchup against them' does make sense, so you know that as = because and needs a comma.
There's not need to move 'otherwise' around; there's nothing wrong with the original placement, so this is a lateral change.
You changed this in yesteday's workshop, but note that ‘Into’ is not a synonym for against; a Pokemon has a good matchup against Fairy-types.
Weak Armor paired with Focus Sash providescan provide a speed boost to Ceruledge, while also preventing it from being OHKOdOHKOed if there are no hazards present when Ceruledge switches in.
There is nothing wrong with 'provides' here, so that can be kept.
You need to capialise Speed in Speed boost, similar to the note yesterday around capitalising Special Attack.
The comma before 'while also' is incorrect; you changed this correctly yesterday, so I'll clarify the general rule:
Commas before 'while' are needed when it means 'whereas' / is showing contrast. If 'while' is used to mean 'at the same time as' (while also / while (verb)ing) then a comma should not be used.
A phrase like 'while also' 'while still' 'while simultaneously' cannot show contrast because the definition of those words is along the lines of 'at the same time as'. Therefore, you do not use a comma before those phrases
The phrase 'while also [verb]ing' (so 'while being/while allowing/while preventing' etc etc) also cannot show contrast because the phrase in practice means 'while also being', which doesn't show contrast as explained in the point above.
In this case, the sentence is a 'while also', so you remove the comma here.
The first mention of 'hazards' per paragraph needs to be changed to 'entry hazards'.After that first one, you can just say hazards on its own.
Along the same lines of lateral changes, you should never be adding content into an analysis yourself; GP takes the role of an editor, not writer/QC. If somehing is vague in text, you want to leave a comment for the writer so they can address it, as they are metagame experts, and GP are not.
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Overall, there's some good improvement here, but there are also quite a few errors missed that I covered in the previous round of feedback. Make sure to read through the notes very carefully before trying another Beginner exercise; it's important to be able to implement feedback across exercises to support your learning. If there's anything that you're not understanding, please reach out to us so we can work on that in more depth too.
I would recommend looking at the beginner notes for proofreading with ctrl + f.
In section 4 of the beginner notes doc, there's a list of words that we recommend using ctrl + f for in a text to check that all the errors associated with those words hae been covered off.
For example, if you ctrl + f for the word 'and', you hve every instance highlighted, so you can see if the and/but/or commas are correct, if it should be 'or' instead due to the and/or rule, and if there are Oxford commas if needed. Ctrl + f for the word 'as' highlights each one so you can check each instance to see if the word means 'because' etc.
It may seem time consuming on paper to check every word on that list, but what it does instead is proofread systematically for each common error instead of reading over and over trying to remember every possible error at once.
Thanks for the feedback. Totally missed the redundancy in that one, did not see it at all.
Had a hard time with this one.
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Chien PaoChien-PaoChien-Pao is spelled with a hyphen appreciates Mandibuzz defogging awayremoving entry hazards using Defog to prevent it from being worn down by hazardsthem. rewrote while keeping the -ing structure ItMandibuzz can also bring Chien Paoit"it" refers to Chien-Pao as the subject of the previous sentence here without confusion in safely using a slow U-turn(RP)Mandibuzz is,(AC)act as a great switch inswitch-in to Fighting attacks from enemies like Choice Scarf Sneasler and Choice Scarf Great Tusk,(AC) which Chien PaoChien-Paodunno if "it" is still okay here is extremely vulnerable to(RC)as well as being capable of checking set up;(ASC)and check setup sweepers like Azumarill orand Scizor with Foul Play. overlong sentence? In return, Chien-Pao deals with opponents whichfoes that can cause problems "can cause problems" is pretty vague; problems for whom? how? Is this implied/irrelevant/QC? like Sandy Shocks orand Baxcalibur. Kingambit has impressive offensive synergy with Chien PaoChien-Pao due to its neutrality to Fairy-type (RC)being ableattacks as well as its ability to eliminate opponentsfoes like Hatterene with Iron Head (RC) and Choice Scarf Flutter Mane with Sucker Punch after rocksStealth Rock. In return,(AC)Chien-PaoChien Pao hits threats to Kingambit like DDDragon Dance Dragonite, Iron Treads, Landorus-TherianLandorus-T,(AC) and defensive Gliscor.
So I ended up completely skipping the beginner and intermediate stage of the GP sample texts. I completely neglected to read that because I read through the entirety of a way older GP Workshop post that didn't have the extra step, and I just ignored the disclaimers because I presumed that I had already read through them! Anyway, I deleted my initial post and will now do this the more proper way. :p
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Psychic Noise helps Reuniclus against Bulkybulkyopponents with recovery as it can disrupt Dudunsparce,(RC) and Wish users like Vaporeon. Psyshock lets Reuniclus easily beat Offensiveoffensive Calm Mind set up sweepers like Articuno-GalarGalarian Articuno. Focus Blast KOsKOes the Steel-(AH) and Dark TypesDark-types like Copperajah, Duraludon, (AC) or Incineroar whothat would take a Psychic TypePsychic-type attack,(AC) but Tera Blast Fairy can be used to have a super-effectivesuper effective attack intoagainst Goodra and Flygon. Tera Fairy maintains Reuniclus's Fighting resistFighting-resistance,(RC)while allowing it to take Knock Off and U-Turn from opponents such as Incineroar, Gligar,(AC) or Heracross.
In Section 2.2, GP's Spelling and Grammar Standards succinctly define the Oxford Comma as "the comma before 'and' in a list," but Grammarly points out that the usage of a comma before "or" in a list also constitutes the serial comma. I hope that my two uses of the serial comma before "or" are accepted by GP.
feel really good about this one, at least better than the ones I already did
Brave Bird hits threatening Grass-Types and Fighting TypesFighting-types such as Amoonguss, Celebi,(AC)andor Infernape super-effectivelysuper effectively, while also having the ability to revenge-kill weakneedrevenge kill weakened slower opponents. Z-Brave Bird OHKOsSupersonic Skystrike OHKOes Latias and Hydreigon after Stealth RocksRock, but running it means Crobat cannot run Black Sludge. U-turn allows Crobat to utiliseutilize its high Speed to pivot out of Flying resistsFlying-resistant Pokemon that it has a bad match up into, while keeping up momentum for its team. Taunt is essential as it shuts down defensive Pokemon such as Alomomola, and prevents opponentsfoes such as Hippowdon from being able to setup hazards.
Chien PaoChien-PaoChien-Pao is spelled with a hyphen appreciates Mandibuzz defogging awayremoving entry hazards using Defog to prevent it from being worn down by hazardsthem. rewrote while keeping the -ing structure
- Perfect, well done. There's not really a need to leave comments on every little thing for writers, as they may not fully understand the comments.
ItMandibuzz can also bring Chien Paoit"it" refers to Chien-Pao as the subject of the previous sentence here without confusion in safely using a slow U-turn(RP)Mandibuzz is,(AC)act as a great switch inswitch-in to Fighting attacks from enemies like Choice Scarf Sneasler and Choice Scarf Great Tusk,(AC) which Chien PaoChien-Paodunno if "it" is still okay here is extremely vulnerable to(RC)as well as being capable of checking set up;(ASC)and check setup sweepers like Azumarill orand Scizor with Foul Play. overlong sentence?
- You went a little overboard on the subjective changes here. The sentence structures were fine as-is and didn't need to be turned into a list, as now it's rather comma-heavy, alongside erasing a lot of the writer's original prose. GP aims to keep the author's voice when available, so do note that for the future. When you make a subjective change, make sure you can justify it and logically explain the reason behind the change. If you can't, it's a lateral change, which is undesirable. While it is an overlong sentence, you ended up making it one.
- "enemies like Choice Scarf Sneasler and Choice Scarf Great Tusk" could've become "Choice Scarf enemies like Sneasler and Great Tusk," which is slightly cleaner.
- "Chien-Pao" is fine there, as the subject can get a bit lost behind lists.
- "Fighting attacks" or "Fighting moves" is never okay standalone, it has to be "Fighting-type attacks" or "Fighting-type moves." However, "Fighting weakness" and "Fighting immunity" are okay.
In return, Chien-Pao deals with opponents whichfoes that can cause problems "can cause problems" is pretty vague; problems for whom? how? Is this implied/irrelevant/QC? like Sandy Shocks orand Baxcalibur.
- "In return" after the sentence that lists the Pokemon that Mandibuzz helps Chien-Pao with makes the relation clear, but if it's unclear in your head it's fine to add "can cause problems for Mandibuzz-". GP's role is to improve readability as well, so if something is unclear, it's worthwhile to leave a comment or make the change.
Kingambit has impressive offensive synergy with Chien PaoChien-Pao due to its neutrality to Fairy-type (RC)being ableattacks as well as its ability to eliminate opponentsfoes like Hatterene with Iron Head (RC) and Choice Scarf Flutter Mane with Sucker Punch after rocksStealth Rock.
- Kingambit is neutral to "Fairy-type," so adding attacks is a bit unnecessary.
- You could've made a slightly less intrusive change going "and ability to-," but nobody will fault you for that unless nitpicking.
In return,(AC)Chien-PaoChien Pao hits threats to Kingambit like DDDragon Dance Dragonite, Iron Treads, Landorus-TherianLandorus-T,(AC) and defensive Gliscor.
Welcome to GP! Firstly, I'd like to highlight some issues with the formatting of your check. GP checks use any shade of blue (not green) for additions, any shade of red for removals, and any other distinct colour for comments. We have a formatting tool that automatically does this for you: Zrp200 has created a tool that auto-formats GP checks, which can be found here. A guide on how to use the auto-formatting tool can be found here. We highly highly recommend using the tool because it pretty much halves the time and effort needed to complete a GP check by entirely removing manual formatting. You caan also have the tool omit removed punctuation, which makes it easier for writers to implement comma changes.
Onto the check:
Psychic Noise helps Reuniclus against Bulkybulkyopponents with recovery as it can disrupt Dudunsparce,(RC) and Wish users like Vaporeon.
The term 'opponent' is used to refer to an opposing human player, whereas 'foe' is used to refer to an opposing Pokemon. In this case, a person can't have recovery, so we're talking about a foe.
Commas are required before 'as' or 'since' if the word is being used to mean 'because', which it is in this sentence.
Psyshock lets Reuniclus easily beat Offensiveoffensive Calm Mind set up sweepers like Articuno-GalarGalarian Articuno.
The correct term is 'setup sweepers'. The term set up is a verb, so an action (to set up, Garchomp can set up on Chansey etc). Setup without a space is a noun/thing, so it applies to contexts like setup sweeper, setup move, setup opportunity etc.
Focus Blast KOsKOes the Steel-(AH) and Dark TypesDark-types like Copperajah, Duraludon, (AC) or Incineroar whothat would take a Psychic TypePsychic-type attack,(AC) but Tera Blast Fairy can be used to have a super-effectivesuper effective attack intoagainst Goodra and Flygon.
The 'or' here should be changed to 'and'. Dark-types is plural, per the rule in hide tags below. Please let me know if this one isn't clear and we can go through some more examples!
‘And’ grammatically is a plural word. 'Or' grammatically is a singular word.
If you're referring to multiple things (teammates, threats, foes etc), this makes the subject plural because it's referring to more than one thing. Therefore, you need to use 'and' in lists of examples to make sure that the plural subject agrees with the plural word 'and'
If you're talking about one thing (a teammate, a threat, a foe etc), this makes the subject singular because it's only referring to one single thing. Therefore, you need to use the singular word 'or' to agree with that singular subject.
In a list of examples, you need to look for two things:
1. The subject of what the examples are (so something like threats, teammates, foes etc- what the list items are examples of)
2. The connecting word used to separate the list items (either 'and' or 'or')
You need the 1 and 2 to agree grammatically. (If 1 is plural, then 2 needs to be 'and'. The word 'and' is plural, so there's agreement. If 1 is singular (so if it said 'a foe' instead of 'foes'), then 2 needs to be 'or' for agreement).
If 1 is plural and 2 is singular / 1 is singular and 2 is plural, there isn't agreement, and the sentence is incorrect. You need to make sure 2 matches 1.
It is best to change the connecting word rather than the subject because the writer can intentionally make that part singular or plural depending on context / metagame information.
Tera Fairy maintains Reuniclus's Fighting resistFighting-resistance,(RC)while allowing it to take Knock Off and U-Turn from opponents such as Incineroar, Gligar,(AC) or Heracross.
The move is formatted as U-turn; you can cross reference moves in the PS teambuilder to check formats.
'Opponents' should be 'foes' here as well.
The 'or' should also be 'and' here as well, as opponents/foes is plural.
Nice work overall - I'd recommend taking a look at another Beginner exercise to apply some of the more technical feedback on commas and usage of 'or' 'and'. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions. As for the follow-up question, yes you use Oxford commas before 'or' as well when the use of 'or' itself is correct.
Brave Bird hits threatening Grass-Types and Fighting TypesFighting-types such as Amoonguss, Celebi,(AC)andor Infernape super-effectivelysuper effectively, while also having the ability to revenge-kill weakneedrevenge kill weakened slower opponents.
The comma before 'while also' is incorrect. Note from the previous feedback that you use a comma where 'while' means 'whereas', and the phrase 'while also' is listed as a phrase that can never mean whereas/show contrast.
Note that as covered in the frrst exercise, 'opponent' refers to the opposing human player, and 'foe' should be used to refer to opposing Pokemon. You make the correct change later on in the exercise, so make sure to actively proofread and use the ctrl + f method shared.
U-turn allows Crobat to utiliseutilize its high Speed to pivot out of Flying resistsFlying-resistant Pokemon that it has a bad match up into, while keeping up momentum for its team.
'Matchup' should be one word when being used as a noun, similarly to 'setup'.
Note from the previous feedback that 'matchup into' is incorrect and should be 'matchup against'.
The comma before 'while' is also incorrect. The 'while [verb]ing' phrase is similarly listed in the previous feedback as a phrase that cannot be used to mean whereas/show contrast.
Taunt is essential as it shuts down defensive Pokemon such as Alomomola, and prevents opponentsfoes such as Hippowdon from being able to setup hazards.
Note that from previous feedback, you need to use a comma before 'as' when it is meaning because. This sentence works as 'Taunt is essential because it shuts down defensive Pokemon'.
The comma before 'and' is incorrect. Note from previous feedback that commas before 'and' 'but' 'or' should only be used when the clause (part of the sentence) after that word is independent (makes sense as a standalone sentence without any other parts).
To check this, you need to separate it out - 'prevent foes from being able to set up hazards' is not a sentence because there is no grammatical subject (what prevents foes? It's not here, so this clause is dependent because it depends on the other parts of the sentence for that information).
This needs to be 'set up'. Note from previous feeback that 'set up' with a space should be used as a verb/action word, and 'setup' is a noun. In this case, the sentence is talking about the action of setting up hazards.
Note from previous feedback that the first mention of 'hazards' per paragraph needs to be changed to 'entry hazards'.After that first one, you can just say hazards on its own. The word 'hazards' has not been used in the paragraph before here, so you need to add the word 'entry' before it.
Overall, some nice work picking up on some objective errors, but there are still key parts of the feedback missing, particularly around comma errors. Make sure to use the ctrl + f proofreading list that I shared previously, as this will make a huge difference in terms of finding errors. To help you out with commas, I'll send you over a comma exercise in forum PMs so you can familiarise yourself with these rules without needing to focus on any other text.
I really made the overlong sentence problem worse in that, didn't I? I saw lists as a neat possible solution from my exercise before that, but I have to be more careful when considering rewrites. Had the problem of not preserving the writer's voice in my very first example as well.
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Thanks to Tidy Up,(AC) Cinccino is the main enabler of hyper offense teams, letting them run many powerful hazard weakentry hazard-weakadd hyphen Pokemon such as Oricorio-Pa'uOricorio-P, Arcanine, and Ninetales-AlolaAlolan Ninetales. Knock Off lets Cinccino hit Ghost TypesGhost-types like Chandelure, as well as Bronzong, an otherwise problematic wall. Encore allows CincinnoCinccino to capitalize on passive foes which setupthat set up hazards, boost their stats, or heal up,(AC) such as Gligar, Registeel, and Sylveon. Teammates like Diancie, Toxtricity,(AC) and Scyther can work alongside Cinccino to overwhelm shared Steel-type checks like Copperajah and Bronzong.(AP)However, however FiresFire- and FightingsFighting-types such as Chandelure, Tauros-Paldea-AquaPaldean Tauros-W, and Heracross that easily beat these same Steel-types work as well. Grassy Terrain teams also heavily benefit from CinccinosCinccino's presence, since it lets the Oricorio formsformes, Grafaiai, and Arcanine switch-inswitch in without having to take chip damage from hazards.
Welcome to GP! Firstly, I'd like to highlight some issues with the formatting of your check. GP checks use any shade of blue (not green) for additions, any shade of red for removals, and any other distinct colour for comments. We have a formatting tool that automatically does this for you: Zrp200 has created a tool that auto-formats GP checks, which can be found here. A guide on how to use the auto-formatting tool can be found here. We highly highly recommend using the tool because it pretty much halves the time and effort needed to complete a GP check by entirely removing manual formatting. You caan also have the tool omit removed punctuation, which makes it easier for writers to implement comma changes.
Onto the check:
The term 'opponent' is used to refer to an opposing human player, whereas 'foe' is used to refer to an opposing Pokemon. In this case, a person can't have recovery, so we're talking about a foe.
Commas are required before 'as' or 'since' if the word is being used to mean 'because', which it is in this sentence.
The correct term is 'setup sweepers'. The term set up is a verb, so an action (to set up, Garchomp can set up on Chansey etc). Setup without a space is a noun/thing, so it applies to contexts like setup sweeper, setup move, setup opportunity etc.
The 'or' here should be changed to 'and'. Dark-types is plural, per the rule in hide tags below. Please let me know if this one isn't clear and we can go through some more examples!
‘And’ grammatically is a plural word. 'Or' grammatically is a singular word.
If you're referring to multiple things (teammates, threats, foes etc), this makes the subject plural because it's referring to more than one thing. Therefore, you need to use 'and' in lists of examples to make sure that the plural subject agrees with the plural word 'and'
If you're talking about one thing (a teammate, a threat, a foe etc), this makes the subject singular because it's only referring to one single thing. Therefore, you need to use the singular word 'or' to agree with that singular subject.
In a list of examples, you need to look for two things:
1. The subject of what the examples are (so something like threats, teammates, foes etc- what the list items are examples of)
2. The connecting word used to separate the list items (either 'and' or 'or')
You need the 1 and 2 to agree grammatically. (If 1 is plural, then 2 needs to be 'and'. The word 'and' is plural, so there's agreement. If 1 is singular (so if it said 'a foe' instead of 'foes'), then 2 needs to be 'or' for agreement).
If 1 is plural and 2 is singular / 1 is singular and 2 is plural, there isn't agreement, and the sentence is incorrect. You need to make sure 2 matches 1.
It is best to change the connecting word rather than the subject because the writer can intentionally make that part singular or plural depending on context / metagame information.
The move is formatted as U-turn; you can cross reference moves in the PS teambuilder to check formats.
'Opponents' should be 'foes' here as well.
The 'or' should also be 'and' here as well, as opponents/foes is plural.
Nice work overall - I'd recommend taking a look at another Beginner exercise to apply some of the more technical feedback on commas and usage of 'or' 'and'. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions. As for the follow-up question, yes you use Oxford commas before 'or' as well when the use of 'or' itself is correct.
Thank you for your feedback!! LOL I guess that's what I get for doing this at midnight, manually, and without my glasses on! Another thing: I study linguistics so you can be as technical and precise with your teaching of grammatical rules as you want (you can even use phrase-structure trees, i love syntax)! I'll be able to understand it. i promise i know what a plural is ;-;
Anyway, let me try this again and see if I get it right (I probably won't). I'll try to be more thorough from now on.
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Tsareena's Grass-typingGrass typing and powerful STABsSTAB moves let it threaten staples (RC) and break defensive Pokemon such as Swampert, Hippowdon,(AC)andor Suicune. Its ability to force out most Stealth RocksRock setters helps it keep entry hazards off the field (RC) while also having a strong offensive presence. Tsareena is easily revenge-killedrevenge killed by faster opponents whofoes that offensively pressure it such as Infernape, Aerodactyl-MegaMega Aerodactyl,(AC) and Nihilego. Therefore, it appreciates bulky Fire- and Rock resistsRock-resistant teammates,(AC) as they can safely switch into strong attacks.
I will rate the tool a 10/10, it made the entire process much easier. As Youngster Ben might say, it's comfortable and easy to use. :)
