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herpes

terribly sorry if this is too gross or not suitable or whatever the fuck, but i trust a lot of you guys.

i just got off the phone with my best friend, and he's scared as fuck, because he just had sex with his girlfriend for the first time, and the condom broke, and afterwards she admitted to him that she has genital herpes. yes, i know, shes a total fucking cunt, but thats not what this topic is about, so we dont need to discuss that.

she wasnt having an outbreak, and we've been checking shit online (we're going to a clinic tomorrow to confirm) and we're getting some mixed messages; some sites claim that its (usually) okay to sleep with someone with herpes as long as theres no outbreak, some claim that it doesnt matter if youre outbreaking or not.

does anyone here know anything about herpes? im really worried.
 
oh shit that is scary as fuck :(, and that's awful of her to hide something like that, hopefully everything will turn out good for your best mate. i'm not sure what else to say but the best of luck to him :(
 
we aren't doctors here, (at least i dont think we are), so its best to go to the clinic, and since im not a doctor, i dont think my advice is THAT significant, but what i remember is that transmission occurs most likely during outbreaks, but there is still a chance of getting it in between outbreaks, i think.

remember that im not a doctor, so its best to get professional opinion
 
I'm a med student at uni, and can answer a few questions in regards to this.

The most contagious stage of Herpes Simplex Infection is when blisters are visibally present on the skin surface (ie: an outbreak) as the fluid contained in these blisters contains many new virus particles which can easily enter small abrasions in the skin surface.

Because she was in a non-outbreak (latent) stage of viral infection, there is a LESSER chance of infection, however this is not to say that your friend (which i reckon is actually you, lol) will NOT get Herpes.
Its really a wait and see game, your doctor can perform a swab and culture the cells in vitro to assay if he is infected, but it is not definate.

Anyway, even if he does get infected, its really not as severe as something like chlamydia or gonorrhea which can result in Severe Infections and Epididymitis. However, you can never cure it.....

Recomendations for future: Use fresh condoms, don't use the thin latex variety, thicker ones including ribbed and studded dont break as often.
Dont have sex with her if she has an outbreak, try other orifices or practice external sex instead
 
yes, as i said, we are going to a clinic tomorrow. this is just sorta to help me not worry as much until then (to give me a bit of knowledge as to whats going on).

thanks for the support, guys.
 
I'm a med student at uni, and can answer a few questions in regards to this.

The most contagious stage of Herpes Simplex Infection is when blisters are visibally present on the skin surface (ie: an outbreak) as the fluid contained in these blisters contains many new virus particles which can easily enter small abrasions in the skin surface.

Because she was in a non-outbreak (latent) stage of viral infection, there is a LESSER chance of infection, however this is not to say that your friend (which i reckon is actually you, lol) will NOT get Herpes.
Its really a wait and see game, your doctor can perform a swab and culture the cells in vitro to assay if he is infected, but it is not definate.

Anyway, even if he does get infected, its really not as severe as something like chlamydia or gonorrhea which can result in Severe Infections and Epididymitis. However, you can never cure it.....

Recomendations for future: Use fresh condoms, don't use the thin latex variety, thicker ones including ribbed and studded dont break as often.
Dont have sex with her if she has an outbreak, try other orifices or practice external sex instead

thank you very much. that is a bit of a relief : )

and haha no, i am regular enough on this forum and know people here well enough to admit that it was me if it actually was. plus, were that the case, id be ranting a fuck of a lot more about what a bitch my girlfriend is. : /
 
you are a complete and utter douchebag, prio

but yeah glen, i hope he's alright. sucks that the condom broke on his first go.
 
hey prio, fuck off.

glen, the best way is to check up with the doctor though it seems that he'll be fine. anyway, best of luck for him!
 
If you're worried, imagine how much he is =[

oh, i dont have to imagine, i spent a couple hours on the phone with him :/ its lame, cause i honestly just felt so fucking powerless. im going with him to a clinic tomorrow, but its really hard when your best friend is freaking out heavily and you cant do ANYTHING to help him.

i pretty much did my best to reinforce that the best he can do is try to calm down, but ive been in situations not nearly this bad myself, and i had trouble relaxing and getting to sleep, so i honestly doubt he was successful with that. ugh.
 
I dunno, I mean you can check out Herpes.Com or something, might have a bit more information/help lines. Tough luck for your friend though, hope it all turns out well.
 
Basically, The_Duke just described very well everything there is to know about herpes and its effects. Bottom line, the chance of your buddy getting it is greatly reduced because she wasn't in a breakout. But what exactly do you mean when you say "the condom broke"? Is it that he noticed a tear after he finished, or did they notice it during sex and just finish without it? There's a BIG difference there relating to herpes exposure, and in either situation pregancy is also something that could be a problem.

Of course, with the way that herpes has become so pervasive in today's youth culture, I'm almost remiss to say that him contracting it isn't a big deal as long as he's honest with future sex partners.
 
Since no one else suggested it, I'd tell your friend to not talk to her anymore. Someone who keeps that shit a secret just isn't someone I'd care to be around, and I don't think you'd want your friend to continue seeing her.
 
that's stupid.

Of course, with the way that herpes has become so pervasive in today's youth culture, I'm almost remiss to say that him contracting it isn't a big deal as long as he's honest with future sex partners.

good god do i ever disagree.
 
i have no idea, but i wish your friend good luck. is your friend going to break up with this girl, or no? I mean, it's sorta a big deal that she has herpes, but the issue I have is not being honest up front about it (although I doubt your friend would have gotten involved in the first place if he knew).
 
Basically, The_Duke just described very well everything there is to know about herpes and its effects. Bottom line, the chance of your buddy getting it is greatly reduced because she wasn't in a breakout. But what exactly do you mean when you say "the condom broke"? Is it that he noticed a tear after he finished, or did they notice it during sex and just finish without it? There's a BIG difference there relating to herpes exposure, and in either situation pregancy is also something that could be a problem.

Of course, with the way that herpes has become so pervasive in today's youth culture, I'm almost remiss to say that him contracting it isn't a big deal as long as he's honest with future sex partners.

well, from what he told me, they were having sex and then the condom tore, so they stopped. thats one of the reasons im not very worried at all anymore, yesterday i was just a bit riled up cause he was REALLY fucking freaked out on the phone, and not making all that much sense.

as for his plans with the girl, i really dont know. i knowhe still has strong feelings for her, but hes also really pissed off and hurt and scared and blah blah blah. usually itry to give him advice on shit like this, but since ive experienced nothing even remotely similar i dont think my advice would have any bearing. his stance on it seems to fluctuate from feeling sorry for her (he told me he got really freaked out when she told him, and she left his house crying) to saying hes off women for good. so i kinda have no idea whats gonna happen there.
 
Herpes isn't a life threatening disease. However, pregnancy is. Blessings should be counted by this man.

as i said, they stopped fucking once the condom tore (or so he told me, but i dont really see him lying about that :/)
 
So not only do you now have an STD, you're going to have a STD while being in prison. BLJ with the masterplans for a successful future!
 
he sure does, everyone knows you're totally safe from STDs in prison!

i don't really have any advice to offer, except for you friend to never, never see that girl again. evil bitch.

i've never had any experiences with herpes, but the word is the bane of people who are into the study of reptiles and amphibians...herpetology..."dUHH YOU LIKE, STUDY HERPES??"
 
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