I'm a spineless little shit

Well, school is kinda like, needed, regardless of if you get bullied or not. I doubt that teachers don't want you to come to school just because you are getting picked on. *insert story about some nerd who was picked on who became famous here*
Then teachers need to do all they can to ensure such things aren't happening, which they evidently weren't in Misaki's case.
I'd dispute the idea 'you need school to achieve', even in the realms of qualification; I think it'd be possible to get a hell of a lot more done in your own time in a situation you're comfortable with than study in an environment that's liable to leave you depressed.
 
lso, I have no idea how Misaki was able to convince her parents and whatever school she was going to that they should let her stay at home all term because people were being mean to her. I mean, seriously? That's messed up.
I didn't really want to turn this into 'itt: Misaki explains things about herself', but I guess I will explain! I was diagnosed with clinical depression due to various incidents about four years ago now, and I've been on antidepressants for a good part of it. I ended up coming home from school all the time in an absolute crying mess, having noted emotional immaturity and no resilience whatsoever, seeing as whatever walls I put up, they tended to get knocked down pretty quickly before I could work on them. I ended up having to be homeschooled for a year so I could get some education seeing as I was too unhappy to be at school, and I've been back at school in most subjects for two years now. My mother took me to a doctor, who signed a medical certificate. This term was just revision for my standardised exams (and I did fine, before you criticise them like everyone else for letting me 'slack off' ;/), so my school were OK with it as long as I came back and did the exams. This is hardly the first time lol. gg on judging someone based on a few sentences in a thread!

P.S. akuchi is right. Honestly, I found it almost impossible to work at school when it was constant harassment, and I wasn't even making it to school half the time due to being a nervous wreck. I stayed at home, rested, calmed down, and studied a bit, and I got the highest marks in my year on the exams in my school ~_~ I imagine if I'd been hysterical still on the days of the exams, instead of rested, I'd've done pretty badly.

ETA: Holy shit, Altmer, I did not see your post. I love you twinny! I'm sorry to have deteriorated Doomsday's thread, but I hope at least we can make Katherine realise this actually, you know, does have an effect on people, /wrists aside?
 
@ Altmer: (cba quoting) From what I've picked up the majority of kids act like pricks just to fit in with society. It's kinda like a vicious cycle where everyone gets drawn into this horrible society only very few want to be in.
 
I don't think it's unreasonable to dislike conflict. Being able to hold your own in a fight doesn't mean you can't avoid them. Regarding the Doomsday story, you did stand up for her until you thought the problem had been solved, only to find it hadn't. That was merely unlucky. I can understand why things happened as they did... You did what you though needed to be done and left the issue. Once you realised what was happening, it was out of your control, so you hesitated to do anything.

If you prefer to avoid conflict (as I do - I am a Black Belt, although I won't fight anyone where I can avoid it) then you should be honest and upfront with people. If you aren't rude, they shouldn't start a fight. Something along the lines of "Come on guys, it's not funny, she's got a headache" would be what I'd say. We all lose control of the situation and fail to act as we think we should have in hindsight. Just prepare for it next time. :D
 
fighting shouldnt be the answer to your problem. i too am a high ranking martial artist but through my teachings have learned that the best and most efficeint strategy is to avoid a conflict and be logical in an unfriendly situation. fighting is degradable in our society. it is a low moral standing. now granted confronting these people is a good idea at the time, fighting is not. in a confrontation such as this you need to look like your ready to fight and be in a im not in the mood to fight posture, and even be prepared to fight, but show morality and machuraty. Discipline and modesty are the best ways to self preservation.
 
ETA: Holy shit, Altmer, I did not see your post. I love you twinny! I'm sorry to have deteriorated Doomsday's thread, but I hope at least we can make Katherine realise this actually, you know, does have an effect on people, /wrists aside?
there's no way you deteriorated this thread lol, if anything I enjoy knowing more about people on these forums

no updates so far!
 
Well this topic struck a nerve on something I have been recently dealing with lately. Ever since I was in school, I was always extremely independant. I didn't have any friends because I never wanted them, I could always make friends easily (Yes that includes girlfriends, I only plan to think about girls until after I'm 25). I just didn't see a need for any support of friends. Ok well, with that self-seclusion comes alot of making fun of. When I was in elementary school, in 2nd grade a kid made fun of Mom (who was at the time fat) and I unleashed all of the anger on that poor kid. I'm not a small guy for your info, I'm 6'3 185 lbs. as a Freshman. But back to the fight, I was also large for my age group at that time, and I broke the kids cheeckbone, nose, and I broke his wrist. I only had a small bruise under my eye after the fight and the kid was sent to the hospital, and he never went to our school again and I was expelled from all of our county's schools so we had to move to another county and fill out a bunch of paperwork and I automatically flunked 2nd grade. After that, I never fought again. Now I'm in High School and these punks keep messing with me everyday, stolen my lunch/media center ID card, money, beatings and shit like that. I'm just to afraid of myself to fight and I don't know what to do anymore and of course now I have the school title of a pussy. I'm really doing great this year with a 4.25 GPA and I don't know what to fucking do anymore. I need opinions.

And to stay on topic, Doomsday I don't know what I would have done. I don't care enough for friends to know how to deal with the situation.
 

Altmer

rid this world of human waste
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@ Altmer: (cba quoting) From what I've picked up the majority of kids act like pricks just to fit in with society. It's kinda like a vicious cycle where everyone gets drawn into this horrible society only very few want to be in.
Then we gotta change society... we've got to teach people we're going about people that are...different...(for lack of a better term; perhaps people with idiosyncrasies?) in the wrong way. If fitting in means taking out the people who in the long run are worth the most to society, then I don't want to fit in, and I hope everyone else is clever enough to realise that.
 
I've been agonizing over this for awhile, Doomsday. I just didn't know how to post to contribute anything but I think I can now. I've always been surrounded by assholes my whole school life. But who hasn't?

I've stood up for myself and others a lot in the past, now that I think of it. However, I've made myself look like an uptight asshole every single time, which is also not a good thing if you overshadow the other assholes with your own brand of assholia. It can affect how others look at you and I never made or really kept any friends by standing up for them. However, I've never actually had to fight anyone either. Why? Do they respect a little nerd like me telling them where to get off to their face or do they see me as not worth the trouble?

I guess I still don't know what advice to give other than at least comfort your friend or just talk to her while she's being made fun of if you don't want to fight or shut them up. I don't recommend fighting- there are a lot of ways to easily get seriously injured to the point that it almost seems to me that the typical human body was never meant for combat. Most likely, just telling them to shut up won't do a damn thing, but giving your friend someone else to listen to just might.

Also, no, your not spineless because you had the guts to admit a mistake you felt you made on the internet where anyone can randomly pop in and judge you.
 
Well I haven't been in that kind of school situation for a while, but looking back you will definitely thank yourself in the long run if you stand up for her. The main thing you should know is that it is much easier to make a difference in that situation than you might think. Basically just tell the bullies something like "fuck off" or "mind your own business". Of course they will start to criticize you next, but by this time you've basically done all you need to do to rectify the situation. They will probably mock you for standing up for her/someone, but once the center of attention is on you, you can easily walk away (figuratively, and later literally if you want). Don't worry about "winning" the insult war with them, it will never happen and doesn't matter anyway. And really, by the time you've said anything at all, you've made her feel supported, and that is the goal of standing up for her. Remember that the only reason any person takes so much joy in making fun of another is their own insecurity. If they are huge cock suckers, they will make fun of you every step of the way, just ignore them and realize that inside they are probably the most miserable ones of all.

P.S. That guy on page 1 said to punch someone in the solar plexus; don't, you can kill someone that way. Just sock them in the face if it comes to it. I doubt it will.
 
The worst think about picking a fight is not that you can get beaten up like a punching bag or accidentaly break someone in half. The worst think is that people have access firearms, so if I beat this midget up today he shoots me from the back tomorrow. What did all my well defined muscles serve me for?

Now I'm in High School and these punks keep messing with me everyday, stolen my lunch/media center ID card, money, beatings and shit like that. I'm just to afraid of myself to fight and I don't know what to do anymore and of course now I have the school title of a pussy. I'm really doing great this year with a 4.25 GPA and I don't know what to fucking do anymore. I need opinions.
My guts says "punch them in the face" but my reason says "ignore them". I never had much trouble with bullying which in itself is a godsend so I don't really know how it is to be picked on. I know I can ignore insults and mockery for arbitrarily large periods of time but no one have to be like me and when it becomes as serious as theft and physical injuries you know you have got to do something. I suppose there is someone you can report the bullies to?

As for the blimpgajo, there is nothing I can say that haven't been said before but I want you to know that I sympathise. Hit me up one MSN if you want bud :)
 
I've been in two "serious" fights since i've been old enough to think about it seriously [about 12, I suppose] and I still hold this kind of irrational fear. The very first time I had gotten myself into a bad situation and was walking with a friend one day when a group of I want to say 5 guys at least 3 years older than me came out of nowhere and absolutely pummeled me, and just me. My friend ran away to go get help but by the time anyone came they had been gone and I was hurt pretty badly, bruised, bleeding out of a few spots, crying and unable to walk without a hand but not quite at the point of SERIOUS serious injury. I hadn't even had a chance to make any kind of move of my own. Now that I type it out, that's probably where my fear came from.

The other time was a fight with a much larger friend, but I was able to hold my ground and after a few blows we both just kind of..stopped. He's one of the biggest guys I know though, and i'm sure it wouldn't have been good.

I'm not at all a violent person and i've never instigated the actual fighting in any of these cases, though I should have known everything that I had been doing in the first case would lead to something like that, even if I had no way of knowing how bad.

Now here's my current situation. I've been dating a girl for about 3 months and her ex-boyfriend who she dated for a really short amount of time and then broke up with wants to fight for no real reason except for that she wants nothing to do with him. I'm only about 6'2 140-145 and while he's shorter ... he probably has a good bit more fighting experience and a little more muscle. If he ever did anything to her, i'm sure I would grab her out of the way and push him or hit him. I can take solace in that, but everytime I walk past him and he gives me that look I tense up extremely and I can't bring myself to make any kind of comment and it makes me feel extremely spineless. I know she doesn't want me to fight him for no good reason, but I just feel so weak for it. I almost wish he would actually back up his words so i'd be forced to act.

I'm not the kind of person who has trouble acting on impulse at all and i'm not timid at and just usually don't have this kind of problem with anything. I don't like the thought of fighting, it actually bothers me in a lot of ways. I know this isn't my reason for not acting though, and it's been on my mind for a long time now with everything going on recently making it worse.
 
Then we gotta change society... we've got to teach people we're going about people that are...different...(for lack of a better term; perhaps people with idiosyncrasies?) in the wrong way. If fitting in means taking out the people who in the long run are worth the most to society, then I don't want to fit in, and I hope everyone else is clever enough to realise that.
Just realised it might seem that I'm on the side of said people. I have Aspergers Syndrome, which should explain that. And I agree completely, I'm rather privileged in that I was brought up by parents who understand differences but there's parents out there who don't, and it's kind of hard to tell people to change the thoughts they've had from birth. If you was possible I'd be all for it though.
 
That blows, dude, seriously.

If I have learned anything in life, it is two things:

1. DO NOT TAKE SHIT FROM ANYONE LYING DOWN. If you do, they think they can walk all over you, and it builds a habit where you are the pussy and some dumbass freshman can take you any day of the week. At least SAY something. If you are unwilling to provoke violence, use your words.

2. DO NOT LET YOUR FRIENDS TAKE SHIT AND DO NOTHING. This makes you look like a dick AND your friends will not like you.

The only exception to this rule is when you are either absolutely alone and there are like six guys or when you know its a joke and they should not be taken seriously. The best way to deal with pricks like the ones in your situation is to beat the shit out of one of them, to console your friend, or do both. You should at least SAY something. It is more rewarding than you would initially think. And if you want some confidence, have back up or train in martial arts or something. Hope I helped.
 

DM

Ce soir, on va danser.
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1. DO NOT TAKE SHIT FROM ANYONE LYING DOWN. If you do, they think they can walk all over you, and it builds a habit where you are the pussy and some dumbass freshman can take you any day of the week. At least SAY something. If you are unwilling to provoke violence, use your words.
To... provoke violence? He's outnumbered greatly, mouthing off is only going to exacerbate his situation. Don't get me wrong, I agree with you completely about not taking shit from anyone, but only to the extent that it doesn't put you or someone you care about in danger.

2. DO NOT LET YOUR FRIENDS TAKE SHIT AND DO NOTHING. This makes you look like a dick AND your friends will not like you.

The only exception to this rule is when you are either absolutely alone and there are like six guys or when you know its a joke and they should not be taken seriously. The best way to deal with pricks like the ones in your situation is to beat the shit out of one of them, to console your friend, or do both. You should at least SAY something. It is more rewarding than you would initially think. And if you want some confidence, have back up or train in martial arts or something. Hope I helped.
In his defense he didn't realize that the taunting continued, as such he was unable to deal with his friend until later on. As for attacking one guy out of a group... that's near suicide and terrible advice to give a kid who obviously isn't a violent person, let alone one who could dominate one guy enough to intimidate the rest.
 
Hitting someone in the solar plexus ends it pretty quickly.
Oh? I usually hit people on the bridge of the nose or the side of the head. It disorients them for a bit, and if you hit hard enough, they'll fall on the ground and leave you alone. Or, if you're feeling extra barbaric, headbutt him in the bridge of the nose. The solar plexis may stun them for a while (and hurts like a bitch), and the side of the head is best avoided if you don't want to risk critically injuring the other guy, but I find that it does the job of getting the other guy to avoid you for a while.

^This works well if he has other guys with them, because it guarantees a moment or two of "What the fuck, this guy just headbutted him in the face!" The pros are that you'll feel a bit more badass for a few minutes, until the andrenaline wears off. The cons are, if you're like me, that you'll feel guilty for the next couple days, and if they have stronger friends, they'll probably bang you up pretty badly.

Or you can do the smart thing, and stop being a self-centered pansy that whines about how unfair the world is and how much of a pansy he is. Apologize to your friend, and tell her that those guys won't get very far in life if they keep it up, and that their actions are just a measure of their poor character. This is the best option, if you aren't as hotheaded as me. If you are, you'll be angry for the next couple days for not knocking their heads in, and then forget about the whole affair.
 
There really isn't much you can do, tbh. You have two main options.

a) Tell them off, and probably start a long fight that will end with someone getting their ass beat

or...

b) Sit quietly and ignore it. Even if she's your friend, she has to fend for herself, and I understand how you feel.

That's pretty much all you can do, this happened to me and this kid that's roughly 5'3, and I still want to punch him, and he and his ghetto bruh fut wit it friends want to kick my ass. Lucky i'm a wrestler.

But so anyways, if I were you, just keep it cool. It's tough to watch a friend get bullied, but you have to be strong
 
There really isn't much you can do, tbh. You have two main options.
There's quite a few things he can do. There just aren't too many categories, ie. "Agressive" and "Non-Agressive."
a) Tell them off, and probably start a long fight that will end with someone getting their ass beat
Here he could either:
-Blow the fuck up at them, calling them various names, and making himself look like a loud asshole while they cringe in the corner
-Explain to them how they are being loud, attention craving assholes and calmly tell them that they will never be loved, while being as intimidating as possible
-Beat on them on the spot while looking like a violent asshole
-Wait for them to be alone and whale on them, bring your friends when they bring theirs
-Bring your friends and call them out while they look intimidating in the background

b) Sit quietly and ignore it. Even if she's your friend, she has to fend for herself, and I understand how you feel.
Her, one girl, fend for herself against three or so guys with tougher friends? Letting the lone sheep fend for herself against a pack of wolves!? Not only is this a spineless, unjust, cowardly, uncaring, self-centered, loathesome thing to do, it's also the wrong spineless, unjust, cowardly, uncaring, self-centered, loathesome thing to do. From what I understand, Doomsday is fairly strong, and perfectly fit to fend for himself and others. What reason does he have to slink away while his friend gets harassed?
That's pretty much all you can do, this happened to me and this kid that's roughly 5'3, and I still want to punch him, and he and his ghetto bruh fut wit it friends want to kick my ass. Lucky i'm a wrestler.
Mistakes are in bold. Also, being a wrestler is only really useful if you're going against one guy. If he has brought a posse, don't expect to leave without a black eye or two, and perhaps a couple missing teeth. I also suggest bringing your clothes to the wash afterwards to get all of the shoe marks out.

I highly suggest learning a few styles of Martial Arts (Tae-Kwon-Do, Krav Maga, and Hap Ki Do are my personal favorites, but I suggest Judo if you're a wrestler).
But so anyways, if I were you, just keep it cool. It's tough to watch a friend get bullied, but you have to be strong
I'd rather defend the helpless than "be strong" and watch them get pushed around for the rest of their lives. But hey, that's just me.
 
Oh? I usually hit people on the bridge of the nose or the side of the head. It disorients them for a bit, and if you hit hard enough, they'll fall on the ground and leave you alone. Or, if you're feeling extra barbaric, headbutt him in the bridge of the nose. The solar plexis may stun them for a while (and hurts like a bitch), and the side of the head is best avoided if you don't want to risk critically injuring the other guy, but I find that it does the job of getting the other guy to avoid you for a while.
The problem with head shots if that if you're not weak, it's very very easy to kill someone with one (by the fact they fall backward onto something hard or the fact it's easy to hit the temple).

Solar Plexus shot + wrist lock or standing arm bar usually does a really good job of getting people to stop pissing you off, it's not as brutal as a punch out but *they* know to avoid you in future.
 

Raj

CAP Playtesting Expert
Doomsday, I used to be one of those shits that are assholes to the weak. It's one of my biggest remorses in life. Eventually, I grew up and came to my senses and confronted all the people I hurt expressing my sincerity. Some people, however, will never know and will be assholes their entire lives. The window to take action has passed for you. You should spend your time behind the scenes trying to re-build your trust with your friend. What else do we really have in this world more important than trust, love, and friendship. If anything, and I mean anything happens again with these punks again, you can own up and prove yourself. Express your anger so that they feel like the shits they are. If you are feeling it, you can make it happen. If it escalates into a fight you will learn alot. You will have had the guts to stand up and if your friends are really your friends they will back you up. Not only will you have made her feel a greater appreciation toward you, but you will realize that your friends have got your back no matter what (even if you fucked up last time) just as you had the girl's back this time.

Hope I helped somewhat. : ]
 
The problem with head shots if that if you're not weak, it's very very easy to kill someone with one (by the fact they fall backward onto something hard or the fact it's easy to hit the temple).
Which is a definite problem for me, because I punch with every inch of my body and every ounce of my will, I'm fairly strong, and I usually fight when I'm angry (which eliminates any bit of restraint you might have). Usually, the other person is looking directly at me, so they usually just end up with a face injury.
Solar Plexus shot + wrist lock or standing arm bar usually does a really good job of getting people to stop pissing you off, it's not as brutal as a punch out but *they* know to avoid you in future.
I'll definitely keep this handy tidbit in mind next time I get in a fight, which is hopefully never. Although it may not sound like it, I usually underestimate myself when I get into a fight, and forget about how much of a punch I can pack, and how frail the human body is. Although I've found that palm heels/thrusts work better if it is missed, so you could theoretically go in for a wrist lock/arm bar faster (because your hand is already partially open). However, I am usually incapable of thinking straight when I get into a fight, and am unable to arm bar/other joint manipulations because there is a 70% chance of me screwing it up (not to mention that my arm strength is kind of iffy, which is why I prefer blows to grappling, because there is much more leeway in the my physical strenght/their physical strenght area).

I just try to incapacitate the other guy as soon as possible and with minimal injury on my end of the spectrum. My blows usually tend to be out of fear of the other guy being able to hit back, or out of genuine desire to kill the other person (which usually lasts until I've realized what I've done, and reverts back to fear of retaliation). Although I really hope that I don't need to get into any more fights, because part of me dies when I realize that the situation could've been handled a bit less violently.
 

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