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CW: This talks in passing about abusive relationships

I wanna talk a little bit about polyamory.

So, if you told me this 6 months ago I wouldn't believe you, but I've been in a poly relationship for about a month and a half now, and I couldn't be happier. I've known this girl for a couple years and I just feel so safe and cared for with her. We'd been kind of hot and cold for about a year, and took a break after I had something of a breakdown this February. We've watched each other go through hell. I guess you could say our love was forged in fire. Normally I fall in love extremely quickly. I've honestly scared myself with how much I'm OK not knowing before jumping in. So after everything we'd been through together, when I finally asked her if she'd like to be with me, I'd never felt more ready for anything in my life.

Ready enough to be OK with becoming her 8th partner.

She loves all of us so dearly. I feel it in everything she says and everything she does. And I don't know, I've just... never really minded the idea that my partner might fall in love with someone else. Obviously cheating is shitty, but this isn't cheating (cheating is still a thing when you're poly don't get it twisted). Everyone is aware of and OK with each other. I think what did it for me mindset-wise was realizing that people's hearts are just so much bigger than you can show any one person, even when you're in love. There are sides to my girlfriends (yes girlfriends with an s, I'll get to that) that I will simply never see, and I am content with that. That's not to say that we keep secrets. I might know how they act around someone else, but at the end of the day, I will only ever see them through my own eyes. I don't know them as sisters or as daughters or as coworkers. I can only know either of them as their girlfriend. In that same sense, I don't know them in the unique way that their other partners know them, and that's OK! Both of my girlfriends have so much love inside them. I actually feel overjoyed that other people are able to feel the way I do about them, and feel that love with me. It's an honor that I can share in that love. That love is a part of me, and my love is a part of them, and that is the most beautiful thing in the entire world to me.

I met Quinntessence after about a week with my first girlfriend. We've been together for about a week now. Having more than one partner is still very new to me, but that's OK. New is good. And the way she talks about DnD and death metal makes my gay heart flutter. Part of me is still in disbelief, and I mean that in the best fucking way. I'm so excited for us. Before my breakdown this year, I wasn't sure if I could fall in love with one person, let alone two. With my history of abuse, falling in love felt like a stupid thing to do. Like an easy way to get used. And now my heart is on full display for two of the sweetest girls in the world. I've grown so much. And now we're gonna grow even more, together. I'm grinning ear to ear just typing this. Life is good, friends.

All of my love to everyone who's had the courage to come out in this thread, and to everyone reading this who is still in the closet or unsure of who they are. Each and every one of you is so beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
 
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dating while being trans is a mess, more so when you're not straight. i am not having fun and i just wanna hold someones hand. also fun fact hatterene has the trans flag colors, we stan an icon

(and i should clarify that this has nothing to do w/ the above post, thats entirely coincidental)
 
First time posting here, so not sure where to start.

I considered myself straight, however there were things that have changed my mind a bit. I'm mainly sharing this here because all of this was thanks to this site, so if you want to know how mons can "change" the life of a person, read below...

I met Sadlysius last year in a teamtour, but we didn't talk anything back on then. I met him again on another teamtour months later, and this is where it all began. We started to talk and found out that we had a lot in common and talking with him was awesome (we are also from the same country!). After talking everyday for months I confessed my feelings for him; we were both confused about our orientation but we knew that we loved each other. Currently, we have been in a relationship for more than 2 months and all I can say is that I regret nothing. He is one of the best persons I've ever met and the fact that all of this happened thanks to a online Pokémon tournament has opened my eyes about life as a whole and makes me feel a little weird too, but I know that there is nothing wrong with that :)

I'm sorry if there wasn't enough words for a post but thanks for reading and have a great day :)
 
i don't think it should be a surprise that LGBT people would be cautious about someone who advertises their conservatism at the forefront of their online profiles given how conservative groups try to oppress LGBT people.

sorry that people tried to invalidate your dysphoria and experiences, though. it's worth noting that the common belief in most hard left LGBT groups i've been in is that you don't even need to have dysphoria to be trans, so i doubt most queer people would question your dysphoria at all nowadays.

also this post reeks of "muh both sides" rhetoric. one side is trying to ensure basic human rights for LGBT people, the other side is trying to take away those basic rights, but both are to blame for the problems hmmmm
 
I need help (so tempted to end the post here but no)

I am Bi etc etc but the main issue is coming out to people. I came out to my closest friend during the summer holidays, and now we’re back at school we never talk and he doesn’t really like me anymore. I’m super scared I might damage another friendship by that happening again, even though our school is super LGBT tolerant and stuff. Especially since I don’t have many friends anyway, I feel the need to talk to someone but again I’m scared. This isn’t even the worst part.

My parents will always support me whoever I am and whatever I do (unless I become a criminal?), but it’s not just fear that’s holding me back from coming out to them, it’s MAINLY just the fact that we’re a Christian family, and that won’t go down so well as we as Christians believe that God intended marriage and romantic relationships for people of the opposite sex, and for similar reasons we don’t believe that transgender is right. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a Christian as well and I believe this as well and this DOES NOT mean Christians are homophobic or ANYTHING of the sort (that’s a common misconception), but it makes being LGBT a heck of a lot harder.

Sorry for my lecture on Christianity, I’m just trying to get across what’s going through my and my parents mind right now.

What should I do? I’m not certain how my parents would respond but I’m nearly certain they would STRONGLY discourage any queer relationships I would ever have. And I value my friends.

What should I do?
 
BlackMalachite said:
I still have very select few memories from my childhood across various years, but I don't remember having even a single dysphoric thought in any of those fleeting memories. It could just be that the memories were erased, it could just be that feelings of dysphoria coincidentally happened that shortly after the accident. But I'm choosing to think that it was caused by the accident because of the timing and lack of memories of it before the accident.



The problem with LBGT people being so cautious is most modern younger conservatives don't particularly care about sexuality. A lot of them support LBGT+. It's most likely conflation from the old fart hyper conservatives who still want to strip LBGT rights away that has a lot of said people on edge. People like that don't represent the Conservative belief system in my eyes.

I really hope that what you're saying about them being more accepting of my type of dysphoria is true. I've been mostly ignoring those communities at this point and seeing a change like that in them would be cool.

Both the left and right are to blame for the rampant issues regarding sexuality and the culture push, you're 100% correct about that.
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Most younger conservatives vote for people who make policies that actively make LGBTQ people’s existence more difficult. In the majority of cases if you vote for a conservative because (you incorrectly believe) they will lower your taxes, or operate with lower deficits, you are also voting to allow parents to electrocute their gay kids, keep it legal to fire people for their sexual orientation, and vilify trans people to win cheap votes off of those “old fart hyper conservatives”. So like, great, for the sake of argument if you pretend young conservatives aren’t homophobic / transphobic / etc. it doesn’t really matter because functionally they vote to maintain anti-LGBTQ systems and structures. Not to mention modern conservatism seeks to maintain the same sort of systems when it comes to racial and religious minorities, as well as women. And while, as a gay white male who was raised Christian, those systems don’t affect me, I don’t understand how someone who sees how conservatives do that to them for being an out group could ethically vote for conservatives. Personally the most positive aspect of being gay is that I find it easier to empathize with others and I don’t see how one can empathize with others and vote conservative. Also starry was not saying left and right are equally to blame for modern politics around sexuality, starry was pointing out that, again, in most modern conservative movements, including in the US, the Conservative party is explicitly working towards the oppression of gsm like you or me. Meanwhile, the left is pushing for gsm to be treated equitably only one of those is problematic. I think this is something you would probably buy into more if you were a trans person living in NC or GA, rather than CA or CO.

I don’t know how much further this conversation should be carried on in this thread given it is primarily a support thread and I do agree with starry that the people questioning your gender identity and personal experiences because of your political beliefs are out of line. Your experiences and identity are yours and it isn’t their place to question them. It is however, kind of understandable that queer people in your life may not want to associate with someone who self identifies as conservative given the current political actions of conservatives in the US. Hopefully things continue to look up for you in CO.
 
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hi BlackMalachite,

i would like to affirm that your journey to find language that describes your gender is yours and yours alone.

that being said, if you are trans and earnestly believe that conservative politicking doesn't impact queer people negatively, you are choosing to prioritize other aspects of your identity at the expense of being transgender. at best, you are an assimilationist seeking the dreams you have been taught to chase, failing to acknowledge the struggles others face with this kind of mindset. at worst, you are queerphobic, don't actually know any queer people, and you're choosing only to commune with cishet ppl by situating yourself as Not One Of Those Trans People.

there's ample reason as to why you've faced hostility. "not caring" is never the same thing as equality, but if that's all you need to be content, power to you i guess.
 
Well, eh, I started therapy/counseling last month, and it seems to have gone relatively well thus far. Sadly, I'll need to wait another 3 months before I get the hormones, if I even get them then.

I'm a bit more pressured by myself to come out to my IRL friends by then, but I got a few months before then, so I have the time I need to do so, however that'll go.
 
ehT said:
Hey pals just thought I'd give a quick shoutout to the subreddit r/ABraThatFits. They have a comprehensive guide on bra sizing for trans women that's come in extremely clutch for ya girl. Turns out my bras are literally 2 cup sizes too small oops. You growing young ladies should give it a look :blobuwu:
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Went shopping today and my boobs look bomb as FUCK omg... real euphoria hours what up
 
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and on the off chance that any trans men/nb ppl are reading, here's a binding guide for ppl without binders. im a smallboy so i can't vouch for any of these really well but the sports bra one is probably the safest/most affordable/least suspicious (in the case of parents) option

go forth, become flat
 
hey

so i wasn't going to really post for this, especially because i'm not a huge fan of posting stuff about myself on forums. but i made this post almost four years ago now, and i've come a long way since then. all my friends know about me and are so supportive. my immediate family knows about me, and while they're not fully supportive, they're not stopping me from going ahead with it. everything has gotten a lot better since that post. i'm extremely fortunate to be in the situation i'm in, having the support networks i do, and having the people most close to me remain with me through it all.

the reason i'm posting today is because i finally, after all this time, started estrogen. i never thought in my wildest dreams i'd get this far, and on a much darker note i didn't think i'd live to see the day where i'd get to this point. to anyone struggling with their own gender identity, while it's hypocritical of me to say this, given how everything worked out for me, don't give up. don't give up on yourself. there are so many times within the last few years where i've told myself that transitioning isn't worth it, that i'll be unhappy regardless, that living a sad life as a cis male would be better than the dystopia trans people face within society. but i'm so glad i pushed through that, i'm so glad that i've gotten as far as i have. life may never be perfect, but this is undoubtedly the way for me to go about making it better.

i've gone through suicidal episodes in the past, i've been in really rough spots, but being where i am right now, with the people i care about, is really amazing and i can't help but feel happy. i'm so happy with the people i've met throughout the last few years, due to me coming out and sharing experiences with others. the people within this community truly are amazing wholesome people, and i'm beyond grateful that i've gotten to meet so many of you.

i'm scared this post is going to come off as me saying "hi look at me i'm so happy" but that's not the point at all. i just want to encourage others to stay strong and persist through the hard times. it's not easy, but it will get better. thank you for reading.
 
Chloe said:
hey

so i wasn't going to really post for this, especially because i'm not a huge fan of posting stuff about myself on forums. but i made this post almost four years ago now, and i've come a long way since then. all my friends know about me and are so supportive. my immediate family knows about me, and while they're not fully supportive, they're not stopping me from going ahead with it. everything has gotten a lot better since that post. i'm extremely fortunate to be in the situation i'm in, having the support networks i do, and having the people most close to me remain with me through it all.

the reason i'm posting today is because i finally, after all this time, started estrogen. i never thought in my wildest dreams i'd get this far, and on a much darker note i didn't think i'd live to see the day where i'd get to this point. to anyone struggling with their own gender identity, while it's hypocritical of me to say this, given how everything worked out for me, don't give up. don't give up on yourself. there are so many times within the last few years where i've told myself that transitioning isn't worth it, that i'll be unhappy regardless, that living a sad life as a cis male would be better than the dystopia trans people face within society. but i'm so glad i pushed through that, i'm so glad that i've gotten as far as i have. life may never be perfect, but this is undoubtedly the way for me to go about making it better.

i've gone through suicidal episodes in the past, i've been in really rough spots, but being where i am right now, with the people i care about, is really amazing and i can't help but feel happy. i'm so happy with the people i've met throughout the last few years, due to me coming out and sharing experiences with others. the people within this community truly are amazing wholesome people, and i'm beyond grateful that i've gotten to meet so many of you.

i'm scared this post is going to come off as me saying "hi look at me i'm so happy" but that's not the point at all. i just want to encourage others to stay strong and persist through the hard times. it's not easy, but it will get better. thank you for reading.
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YAY CHLO(at last has)E!!!!!
 
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