Life Stories

Ok, so the basic idea of this thread is to give just general interesting stories that can be good reads or funny ones. I really hope for this to be a mature thread without it falling to pieces.

I'll start:

So today I was going to this baseball game that me and some friends of mine organized over Facebook. This was the third one we had done this summer. I ride my bike the 2 miles to the baseball field - it's about 95 degrees and sunny, with little to no cloud cover to speak of in front of me or anywhere on the horizon. I arrive at the field and we all start practicing and screwing around, seeing as not everyone was here. When most of the people get there we decide to start the game. Most of us being casual players, it was mostly a matter of being out or getting a double as our outfielders weren't the best by any stretch of the imagination.

Now about halfway in the 1st inning these menacing dark-grey clouds roll in like a horseshoe but we still play anyways. When it starts to thunder and lightning we all panic since most of us brought aluminum bats. We all went batshit thinking that we would be electrocuted if we used an aluminum bat, so we all shared a single wooden bat. Now it goes from sprinkling to heavier rain, so we all go and find shelter. There's this little space between the fence containing home plate and a small shack (which is locked); some of us go there. Now, by the time it starts pouring I realize that I have to bike the 2 miles back home. I run to a nearby tree- the rain was starting to literally sting when it hit my skin. I realize that there's no point in rushing since I'll be soaked no matter how you look at it, so I take my phone out of my pocket and place it in my watertight pack along with my baseball glove and baseball, then slowly walk towards my bike. Makes you feel like a trooper when you walk slow like that tbh.

As I start riding, the rain picks up (even more) and I can feel each individual raindrop impacting on my skin. Luck must not have been on my side because as the rain was picking up the little signs with the hands on it went orange. However, I do feel a bit thankful for the situation I was in - as I was riding down the sidewalk an ambulance went rushing to the aid of someone in a dire situation. Besides, it feels good to be wet once you get thoroughly soaked. To top it all off, the rain subsided when I got home.

Well that's my story, I'm sure its not the best one that will turn up!

damn i thought this would go well lol
 
One fateful night, all was quiet in my friend's house. His dad was asleep in his bed, and all the kittens were peacefully napping in various nooks. Suddenly, the phone rang. My friend's dad, a former Marine (or maybe a SEAL) who was always ready for action, bounded out of bed, went charging through the house, and trampled a kitten to death.
 
Well, gee. Where to begin.....

I was about 5 years old at the time this happened. My dad's side of the family owned a campsite on a lake. Lot's of people rent spaces there. Some even live there.

So basically, I used to go there every summer. One day I was playing with a big black german shepherd dog. I was on this little platform and had bent down to pet the dog. However, I tripped on the platform and took a tumble.

Now here's where it gets interesting. The dog jumped and scooted away (when it jumped, I thought it bit me), and I fell. The platform was connected to a trailer. And the trailer had a big tarp/roof above the platform so you could have some shade. But how does the tarp stay up? Answer? Ropes that loop through hooks that are in the ground.

And that's where I landed. The area where my right eyebrow is got slashed up from the sharp hook there. I had to get stitches for that. Of course, one of my relatives thought that they knew what they were doing, and didn't take me to a hospital. Gave me a freaking fear of needles there.

I still have that scar today. Guess it must have been a pretty deep cut. But now that I look back at it, I'm pretty thankful to life. If the cut had been any lower, I would have lost an eye at the age of 5. For that, I'm grateful it was just the eyebrow.
 
One fateful night, all was quiet in my friend's house. His dad was asleep in his bed, and all the kittens were peacefully napping in various nooks. Suddenly, the phone rang. My friend's dad, a former Marine (or maybe a SEAL) who was always ready for action, bounded out of bed, went charging through the house, and trampled a kitten to death.

That's so... :(
 
too large didn't read. anyways I have this story where i went to the bathroom alone. :O

I was with a friend in the beach you know chilling and swimming among other things, we decide to enter one of the abandoned beach houses we enter fine until 2 angry hobos jump at us with a knife and start chasing us. We lost them afterwards but still it was scaringly awesome.
 
i'm sjcrew

02:41:40: <SJCrew> dude
02:41:42: <SJCrew> folg
02:41:45: <SJCrew> today
02:41:47: <SJCrew> this morning
02:41:52: <SJCrew> i went out for a joog
02:41:54: <SJCrew> jog
02:42:01: <The_Chaser> wtf since when has sjcrew come here
02:42:04: <SJCrew> but like 1/3 of the way through
02:42:10: <SJCrew> i had to take a MASSIVE dump
02:42:13: <Folgorio> lol
02:42:14: <Folgorio> g_G
02:42:23: <Folgorio> anyway uragg
02:42:24: <SJCrew> i was like a 1/2 mile
02:42:27: <SJCrew> away from my house
02:42:27: <Folgorio> 11x10x10 pullups
02:42:28: <Folgorio> strengthing it
02:42:32: <SJCrew> so i had to
02:42:39: <SJCrew> make it all the way back
02:42:44: <SJCrew> without pooping my pnats
02:42:53: <SJCrew> alternating walking with jogging
02:43:02: <SJCrew> it was so hard
02:43:09: <The_Chaser> you shoulda done a nate myles
02:43:14: <SJCrew> i got to like
02:43:17: <SJCrew> the street where i live
02:43:21: <SJCrew> and the poop was like
02:43:27: <SJCrew> 3 inches away from the exit
02:43:31: <The_Chaser> gone into a hotel hallway and take a dup there
02:43:35: <SJCrew> and i was like holy shit
02:43:39: <SJCrew> no pun intended
02:43:40: <badass> who is sjcrew
02:43:42: <SJCrew> almost there
02:43:50: <badass> uragg?
02:43:53: <SJCrew> so i gingerly made my way
02:43:57: <SJCrew> to my house
02:44:00: <SJCrew> except
02:44:06: <SJCrew> by the time i got to my front door
02:44:09: <SJCrew> i couldn't move
02:44:14: <SJCrew> because if i took another step
02:44:20: <SJCrew> the poop would start comin out
02:44:30: <Folgorio> rofl
02:44:32: <Folgorio> so whatd you do
02:44:34: <SJCrew> and my parents wouldn't open the goddamn door
02:44:39: <SJCrew> took them like
02:44:40: <SJCrew> 20 seconds
02:44:46: <SJCrew> i'm knockin like crazy
02:44:50: <SJCrew> and my dad opens up
02:44:52: <SJCrew> he's like
02:44:56: <SJCrew> wtf is wrong with u
02:45:02: <Folgorio> lol
02:45:02: <SJCrew> I NEED TO TAKE A DUMP
02:45:07: <SJCrew> and he's like
02:45:10: <SJCrew> calm down negron
02:45:20: <SJCrew> and i'm like
02:45:27: <SJCrew> GO GET A BAG OR SOMETHING IT'S COMIN OUT
02:45:39: <Folgorio> lollllllllllllllllllllll
02:45:39: <SJCrew> so he went and got
02:45:42: <SJCrew> a grocery bag
02:45:42: <Folgorio> and???
02:45:50: <SJCrew> and i made my way into my hosue
02:45:54: <SJCrew> and the poop is like
02:46:08: <SJCrew> comin out but i'm holding it in between my cheeks just barely
02:46:25: <SJCrew> and so i just dumped like 1 step into my house
02:46:30: <SJCrew> into a grocery bag
02:46:39: <SJCrew> and when there was a break
02:46:42: <SJCrew> i sprinted upstairs
02:46:43: <badass> i bet it felt good
02:46:45: <SJCrew> and did the rest
02:46:53: <SJCrew> man after this experience
02:46:57: <badass> i bet it felt like heaven
02:47:01: <badass> that moist poop
02:47:01: <SJCrew> i can see why gays might enjoy taking it up the ass
02:47:05: <badass> sliding out of your asshole
02:47:06: <SJCrew> because when it comes out
02:47:08: <SJCrew> it's like
02:47:18: <SJCrew> UNBELIVABLE
02:47:24: <badass> ass play is nice
02:47:25: <Folgorio> lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
02:47:48: <SJCrew> i seriously think my asshole was stretched
02:47:54: <SJCrew> because i had to hold it back so hard
02:47:59: <SJCrew> gravity was working against me
02:48:06: <The_Chaser> i think this chan has reached a new low
02:48:07: <SJCrew> as was my intestinal tract
02:48:30: <SJCrew> man i dumped like 4 times today
02:48:31: <Pidge> if you eat fastfood for like a week, your poop is really black
02:49:21: <SJCrew> yeah going to sleep now
 
My cousin and grandma died 6 months ago. I started uni and don't know wtf to do with my life. Sometimes I wanna die since I hate my life. The End.
 
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