Tournament NUPL VII Commencement


Banned deucer.
Hello, and welcome back to yet another edition of everyone's favorite tradition, THE UNBIASED POWER RANKINGS

As per usual, we will be going through the teams and bashing the dogshit players, once again with the aid of our trusty friend. Let's get started.

The Krusty Krabs (Kiyo + Heysup):
Earthworm 20000
Sjneider 14500
Megazard 9500
Tangelo 6500
Xiri 5000
Gunner Rohan 4000
GW 3500
Go0d 3500
ILoveMilk 3000
Jytcampbell 3000
MrAldo 3000
Peli 3000
TJ 3000
Santu 3000
Exiline 3000
Evan. 3000

Wow. I love starting off with the shit ass teams. Makes the whole process go uphill. Crustworm was obviously gonna go for an absurd amount since there's GSC NU in this tour for some ungodly reason. He's prob one of the only people to have ever wasted time touching this nonsense metagame, so I guess he should do pretty well...especially considering HSA WENT FOR LIKE 20K FOR THE SAME TIER LMAO HELLO alrite we'll get to that later. kiyo's crust af isnt he hello LMAO it's not like he was that good to begin with the spl 7 raiders always say it was a mistake picking him up. Heysup's crust too HELLO LC isn't even in this. At least for LC, I could understand it a bit more. Well, I guess he'll be heat enough in whatever old gen you put him in. Sjneider was dogshit in SPL and I dont think he's good. Megazard? Really? We goin for PU mains now? Tangelo was bad in Snake and lucked out some wins when he got put in for elodin. Bro is this really the full team LMAO AM I MISSING SOMETHING HELLO?? Evan. was 3k which I guess means he's inactive and doesn't play anymore, which is bad news cuz he's needed to save this monstrosity.

Overall, this team is fucking horrendous. It would be bad in like 2012, but in 2019, it's especially terrible.

The Pablo Sands (lax):
FLCL 25500
TDK 22500
Pearl 18500
soulgazer 14500
Bouff 6000
emforbes 5500
ggggd 4500
ima 4000
tko 3000
ebeast 3000
Zesty43 3000

Ah, yes. The Weeb Jerk team. Very nice. The team starts off with the best NU player, goat 1/3 bro fist LAX, who should smash this tour. FLCL's an NU main who usually puts up pretty solid records. TDK and Pearl are the classic Jerk picks who should be able to outplay their mainer counterparts for some crisp wins. SG was surprisingly cheap for someone with that much of an NU legacy, but I guess people finally got tired of teaming with this clown. This half of the roster is obviously remarkable, and I'm not gonna go too much into it.

If this tour were 5 slots, this team would easily run away with the title. However, I was informed that there are in fact 10 slots in this tournament...yeah LMAO HELLOO Alright, so they're starting a doubles main. Bad sign #1 right there. Starting like a 14 yr old LC main. Another bad sign. ima and tko are nothing to really write home about obv. same with zesty. Bro ebeast was like a 4k bench player when he actually played mons, if you apply the crust rule to that it's gonna get ugly as shit. And then, of course, we have BOUFF, one of the worst players to ever touch the tournament scene, starting yet again. Classic.

I'm sure almost everyone expects me to call this the best team the tournament. And in all honesty, it still might be depending on how shitty the rest of the rosters look. But my god, to say half this lineup is sketchy would be the understatement of the year.

The Sacred Samurotts (osh + ren-chon):
M Dragon 19500
Snou 17500
Bughouse 15500
Teddeh 15500
HJAD 6000
Robert Alfons 4500
Watchog 3000
honchkrow 3000
DurzaOffTopic 3000
Earth 3000

Oh god LMAO WHAT IS THIS. Ok. Osh was a bit polarizing in SPL...I guess I'll label him as like "decent" maybe. He did annihilate the Gerk so I have ho give him his props on that. Ren-chon, despite appreciating GOAT RENGE, isn't on The Sheet, so he's irrelevant. M Dragon honestly seems underpriced as fuck when you look at some of the prices this tour like LOL I'm sure he'll be a god at ADV....wait...WAIT WHAT LMFAO HELLO HOW TF IS SNOWCRISTAL 17.5K LOOOOOOL THIS IS ONE OF THE WORST PLAYERS TO EVER TOUCH SMOGON HE'S AWFUL HELLO WHAT GAMES HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING oh my god. end rant. Bughouse isn't on the sheet so he's irrelevant. Teddeh is honestly a bit underpriced too like LOL what I know he had a bad SPL but come on. This man tore up NU for years, and it's fucking NUPL. I've heard SANJAY is like an osh meme or somethin. HJAD plays PU. Fagtron is loved by the RU mainers but isn't on the sheet. LMAO MY BOY TENNIS IS ON THIS TEAM FOR 3K LOLO Durza here too oml he can tryhard or some shit my lord. Nice Earth pick btw. dogshit player.

Overall, Teddeh + MDragon probably need to ghost every other slot on this team or it's going to sink to the bottom of the ocean.

The Pile of Swines (elodin):
Garay oak 21500
Insult 15500
DeepBlueC 12000
Lopunny Kicks 9500
Kingler12345 8500
-Tsunami- 7500
col49 7000
EviGaro 6000
Chaitanya 6000
passion 4500
Sam 4000
Jarii 3000
byronthewellwell 3000

Ah, my team. oml...elodin can be pretty heat when he tries. Especially in NUPL, I think he'll do pretty well. z0mog seemed absurdly high on Garay Oak after SPL. He did have some relatively impressive wins, and he did well in Snake too. For an unofficial tour like this, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, even though 21k seems like a bit much...Insult is hyped by some people but idk I wasn't THAT impressed by his SPL performance. He did manage to make the NE roster, though, so I guess he has some potential. DeepBlueC was the most hyped .500 player I've ever seen LMAO tdk was on this man's dick every week i swear. Apparently he doesn't play DPP NU, but if it's anything like DPP OU, that's irrelevant anyway. Decent enough pick up. Lop Kicks puts up some decent / solid SPL records, so I guess he might do fine.

The odds of 49 playing more than like 1 game is like 20%, so LOL kingler is legit not good at mons like LMAO hello I'm literally washed af too so it would be a disservice to the public to say I'm gonna do that well in this tour. Maybe if I'm in DPP lol. EviGaro's an RU mainer, which doesn't really translate to the other tiers. passion can be decent enough at RU so I guess he might do like average or something. Chaitanya's a monotype main like come on do we need to continue LOL Sam is sam lol. byron is a meme. and jarii is dogshit.

Overall, this team has some competent slots and some remotely competent ones combined with some more sketchy picks. If the rest of the teams are complete dogshit, they could make the playoffs. But I definitely don't think this team is anywhere near good LMAO

The Moneymaker Musharnas (raseri):
Diophantine 14000
Shaneghoul 12000
mael 12000
0NI 11000
Charmflash 8500
Raichy 8000
Honko 6000
Hamhamhamham 5500
-Davon 5000
Count Riario 5000
Stone_Cold 4000
Askov 3500
lolbro 3500
Rabia 3000

Wow, we didn't even get to the Raseri team yet and I thought this tour was terrible LMAO HELLO raseri is the tennisace of NUPL right. like my god. I'm pretty sure if you told me all the lineups without telling me who drafted them, I could 100% point to Raseri as being the architect of this abomination. One quick look at the sheet will reveal that raseri is 0-6 life time...if you apply the crust rule to that, you're gonna end up with some pretty bad results. mael won a trophy, so I guess there's that. He could do solidly enough I suppose. Charmflash had a breakout SPL, so I'll give him a decent shot of going positive I suppose.

The most expensive players on this team aren't on the sheet, so they're irrelevant. Speaking of irrelevant, literally the rest of this team LMAO dave prob played DPP NU back in like 1950, so I guess he could do something. Honkos crust as fuck dude LMAO HELLO same with hantsuki jesus what is this lineup. I'm not even gonna waste my time.

In a tour with some pretty bad teams, it should come as no surprise that the Tigers of NUPL have constructed the worst lineup.

The Mesmerizing Mesprits (banks):
ict 26000
yeezyknows 10500
kaori 10000
Skelos 10000
KW 9000
Sage 9000
Louna 8000
quziel 4500
pinktidal 4000
paper dreams 3000
PILZ 3000 LMAO HELLO HOW'S THIS TEAM LITERALLY AS SHIT AS THE LAST ONE. Oh my god this is impressive. WHYS LEON ON THIS TEAM FOR 26K LOOOOOOOL THAT'S HILARIOUS alright. ict's heat as fuck so if he pulls out his classic German shadiness and ghosts the whole team, I guess they have a shot. I'm not really that. high on banks' playing ability. idk who tf yeezyknows is but goin off the sheet, he's definitely irrelevant as dicks. samvgc is a doubles main like hello? LOL who tf is skelos bro WHO ARE THESE PLAYERS. KW LOOOOOOOL this man was exposed af in his main tier in spl, god knows how he's gonna do in NU. Sage is literally a terrible player also like come on. the rest of these clowns LMAO you could have just made these names up and it would hav been the same shit. my god just draft charizardfan89 next time.

Overall, this team is right up there (or down there I guess) with raseri's as the worst team in the tournament. Their one saving grace is that ict might decide to ghost the whole roster, but I really doubt that's gonna happen.

The Vibrant Vivillons (rozes + eternally + Gondra):
Star 20500
TonyFlygon 9500
Hootie 9500
Rodriblutar 6000
Dangerous 5500
Slide 5000
Twixtry 4500
spink 3000
Kev 3000
Plas 3000
Abejas 3000
Sinkyr 3000

Ah, yes. The Vivillons are back!!! rozes + eternally really failed as a duo in SPL like LOL my lord. I guess for NUPL, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. rozes somehow being the 5th sub off the fucking Wolfpack bench definitely isn't a good sign, though. The centerpiece of the team is newly freed Jerk / Herk member starmaster, who I have very high hopes for. Tony will probably tryhard enough to put up a good record in whatever the fuck GSC NU is, although I'm still a bit skeptical on his playing abilities. Hootie is probably like slightly below average in general. Rodri should be banned from all PLs for cancering LOL like jesus fuck. whatever, though, 6k for him is obviously a steal and he should do pretty well with rozes' teams a la SPL 9. Gondra's like in between average and slightly above average, which for this tour is good enough.

And now, we get to the meme slots LMAO DANGEROUS36M? IS THAT WHO THIS IS BRO LOOOL WHAT IS THIS IS THIS 2008 WHEN IM WATCHING YOUTUBE HELLO the rest of these clowns bro who tf LMAO SINKYR THIS MAN PLAYS AMQ LOLO WHAT oh my god rozes just found these guys in the fucking trash heap jesus.

Overall, this team is pretty similar to the Weeb Jerk team. Solid quality up front, but dig a little deeper, and you'll find that this roster is littered with absolute dogshit clowns.

The Listless Lilligants (Finchinator + robjr + Kushalos):
Chill Shadow 24500
HSA 22000
Eternal Spirit 10000
The Goomy 7000
Karppi 4000
HSOWA 4000
HarrisIsAwesome 3500
Yay 3000
Noitu 3000

The final team vros. Finch usually puts up good records in the meme PLs and he's a pretty solid player. Kushalos is very solid at NU and he should put up a great record in this tour. I have to put some respect on robjrs name after the master class he put on this SPL in a relatively tough UU pool. I have high hopes for him. Chill Shadow is probably solid enough I suppose, although 24.5k seems like a bit much LOL HOW WAS GAMA 10K LMAO HELLO THIS MAN'S LIKE A TOP 10 PLAYER IN THE TOUR LOL Gama 10k def the steal of the draft (besides dumbass rodri).

I already brought this up before, but how the fuck was hsa 22k LMAO HELLO ITS 2019 WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? DID I MISS THE HSA REVITALIZATION PARTY? LOLO 22K WHAT I know Earthworm's crust but he's definitely better at GSC NU than HSA dude. I guess I'll give Finch some benefit of the doubt cuz he probably tryhard scouted this but still LOL. The rest of this lineup is literally irrelevant. The goomy's like below average but its nupl I guess...Harris was complete trash in SPL, so I'm pretty down on him. the other losers aren't even on the sheet so.

Overall, this team's a lot like some other teams. Very solid pieces mixed with some absolute trash can retardation picks.

Overall Rankings:

Fuck LMAO This is honestly pretty hard. There's usually one super hype amazing team but like that doesn't exist here LMAO ALL THESE TEAMS ARE FUCKING DOGSHIT

1. The Pablo Sands


2. The Vibrant Vivillons

This team's pretty similar to the above one, just slightly worse talent.

3. The Listless Lilligants

See above. I actually had this order switched but these teams are pretty close, so adding Gondra gives the Vivillons the edge.

4. The Pile of Swines.

A slightly more balanced team with less star power.

And now it gets tricky.

5. The Sacred Samurotts
6. The Krusty Krabs
7. The Mesmerizing Mesprits
8. The MoneyMaker Musharnas

Gave the edges to the teams with the better top-end talent because all of these rosters are trash. Overall, this is an interesting PL. There's no real amazing team like in other tours, and all the rosters have at least 4 highly questionable slots. Should be an interesting one.


is a Tournament Director Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a defending Smogon Snake Draft Championis a defending World Cup of Pokemon Champion
I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty annoyed at having my sign-up deleted without anyone telling me. While I'm not known as an NU player, I was looking to get into the tier in preparation for Grand Slam, and would have liked to play SM as I indicated in my post. I have a good idea of who deleted it, and I suspect it was motivated by a dumb grudge, but what more can you expect. Guess I'll see you all next year.

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