Let me begin this RMT my expressing my love for The Boondocks. The Boondocks is a television show that, from the very beginning, was grossly misunderstood and misinterpreted. A few white people heard what is so cautiously referred to as the "N Word" thrown around on a television show, and it was immediately dubbed as "racist". What made the show so brilliant is that is took the concept of racism, blanketed it over the entire show, and exposed how idiotic and pointless it is across all races. A brief glance at the show introduces the audience to an onslaught of racial superlatives, offensive language, and tongue-in-cheek stereotypes. As more episodes passed, it was quite clear that the show's characters that displayed racism, bigotry, and sheer ignorance were also the dumbest characters on the show. What emerged was a cartoon touched on topics such as inter-racial crime, the fascination of the "thug life" portrayed by soft people, class struggles between races, and how taking people at face value can be dangerous because you never know somebody's true character until they open their mouths. With that, I just needed a theme for this team. And I love this show. So here's my team.
My team at a glance:
The Lead:
Bushido Brown
Crobat @ Leftovers
Nature: Jolly
Ability: Inner Focus
104 HP / 74 DEF / 252 SPE / 80 SpD
Taunt
Confuse Ray
Toxic
Protect
Now, I understand that this is a strange move-set. This is especially true for a Lead Crobat. What I love about this set is that it is a true support set, and it really distorts a lot of teams out there. The strange thing about this Crobat is that while it works as a lead, it also works very well in the mid- to late-game where if kept alive, can shut down annoying wall and set-up Pokemon. The brilliant thing behind this Pokemon is that its speed is only outmatched by Scarfed Pokemon and Ninjask. It speed ties with Aerodactyl, which can really put a hurt on Crobat, but that's the risk of using a Crobat lead I suppose. My favorite move on the set is Confuse Ray. I've found myself in many situations where I taunt their set-up Pokemon (such as a Roserade), and so the opponent generally switches out to something that will either A.) Scare away Crobat or B.) Wall Crobat. Well, because I know the switch is coming, just Confuse Ray whatever is coming it. It's going to hit every single time, so why the hell not. It helps me scout whatever is coming in, and it makes my next switch a 50% to not take damage. There are two things that ruin this Pokemon. Taunt, and Choice Scarf. If this thing gets Tricked a Scarf, it's game over for Crobat. It officially becomes worthless and its only role is to switch in to Choice Band users so that it can confuse them for some massive "stop hitting yourself" damage.
Azelf -- Azelf is always a guessing game. Some pack Psychic to take care of Machamp leads, which will always ruin Crobat's day. Others carry Flamethrower, which Crobat can handle. Either way, Azelf is going to have Taunt and Stealth Rock. This is what makes this so difficult to gauge. If I Taunt, I can ruin their chance of putting up Rocks and then Protect on the next turn to scout their attacking move and protect from Explosion. If they choose to attack with Psychic however, dead bat. So my choices are to run the risk of Taunting and getting killed, use Confuse Ray to add a layer of protection and luck for preventing anything, or simply using Protect. Either way, the options are endless, and that is why I hate Azelf. Verdict: I generally Taunt and just lost Crobat. Still no rocks, I suppose.
Machamp -- Machamp is a bit of a bitch as well. I will always Protect on the first turn to see what he's throwing at Crobat and then make an appropriate switch. Generally speaking, it's an Ice Punch or a Stone Edge, so I usually run away to Jirachi, who generally gets punched in the face the next turn with DynamicPunch. Other times, I sacrifice the bat with Confuse Ray, Protect, Toxic if the turns allow me to pull it off.
Aerodactyl -- Speed ties suck. Basically, whoever pulls off a Taunt first wins. I generally never see a Stone Edge thrown at me. If I pull off the Taunt, I switch to Jirachi to soak the Stone Edge, then switch to Gengar to avoid the Earthquake and threaten with a Focus Blast.
Metagross -- I never really see a Thunderpunch on a lead Gross, so I just Taunt it to prevent Rocks. After Taunting, I'll switch to Jirachi to soak a Steel hit, and switch to Gengar to threaten with HP Fire.
Swampert -- Swampert leads are pretty easy to handle. I immediately Taunt them, and with Leftovers/Protect, Crobat is a 3HKO with Ice Beam. So a generally Swampert strategy is: Taunt, Protect, Toxic, Protect, Confuse Ray (survive?). If I need to throw another Taunt in there to keep it fresh, I do so. Either way, Swampert ends up debilitated at the end of it.
Jirachi -- Choice Scarf leads are a bitch, so I just switch to Gengar who doesn't mind a Scarf that much.
Infernape -- Much to my surprise, a majority of Ape leads that I see throw a Fake Out at me on the first turn, every single time. I don't know why. It's not a vast majority, but enough to allow me to confidently Taunt on the first turn. Crobat will survive a Fire Blast or a Close Combat, so in the worst case, I'm looking at a poisoned Infernape or a confused Infernape with Kingdra coming in for a free Dragon Dance or Substitute.
Roserade -- Taunt and Confuse Ray. Then switch to counter whatever I just confused.
Heatran -- Taunt and switch to Gengar.
Ninjask -- LOL. Taunt it and switch. Ninjask sucks.
Machamp -- Machamp is a bit of a bitch as well. I will always Protect on the first turn to see what he's throwing at Crobat and then make an appropriate switch. Generally speaking, it's an Ice Punch or a Stone Edge, so I usually run away to Jirachi, who generally gets punched in the face the next turn with DynamicPunch. Other times, I sacrifice the bat with Confuse Ray, Protect, Toxic if the turns allow me to pull it off.
Aerodactyl -- Speed ties suck. Basically, whoever pulls off a Taunt first wins. I generally never see a Stone Edge thrown at me. If I pull off the Taunt, I switch to Jirachi to soak the Stone Edge, then switch to Gengar to avoid the Earthquake and threaten with a Focus Blast.
Metagross -- I never really see a Thunderpunch on a lead Gross, so I just Taunt it to prevent Rocks. After Taunting, I'll switch to Jirachi to soak a Steel hit, and switch to Gengar to threaten with HP Fire.
Swampert -- Swampert leads are pretty easy to handle. I immediately Taunt them, and with Leftovers/Protect, Crobat is a 3HKO with Ice Beam. So a generally Swampert strategy is: Taunt, Protect, Toxic, Protect, Confuse Ray (survive?). If I need to throw another Taunt in there to keep it fresh, I do so. Either way, Swampert ends up debilitated at the end of it.
Jirachi -- Choice Scarf leads are a bitch, so I just switch to Gengar who doesn't mind a Scarf that much.
Infernape -- Much to my surprise, a majority of Ape leads that I see throw a Fake Out at me on the first turn, every single time. I don't know why. It's not a vast majority, but enough to allow me to confidently Taunt on the first turn. Crobat will survive a Fire Blast or a Close Combat, so in the worst case, I'm looking at a poisoned Infernape or a confused Infernape with Kingdra coming in for a free Dragon Dance or Substitute.
Roserade -- Taunt and Confuse Ray. Then switch to counter whatever I just confused.
Heatran -- Taunt and switch to Gengar.
Ninjask -- LOL. Taunt it and switch. Ninjask sucks.
In the show, Bushido Brown serves as a bodyguard to none other than Oprah Winfrey. His true skill and speed are displayed in an episode where capturing Oprah is the main objective for Riley Freeman, Ed Wuncler III, and Gin Rummy is to capture Oprah. Hilariously enough, they find themselves in the dressing room of Bill Cosby, and give up on their heist. Huey Freeman, the show's main character, attempts to stop the capture of Oprah altogether, but is encountered by none other than Bushido Brown. Brown, who refuses to listen to Huey's warning that Oprah is being kidnapped, engages Huey. Brown's sheer speed and technique dominates Huey. Huey lands a few hits with custom-made gloves designed to electrocute upon contact. Brown still fights through this and beats his ass down. For his speed alone, Brown represents Crobat.
Physical Choice:
Colonel H. Stinkmeaner
Scizor @ Choice Band
Nature: Adamant
Ability: Technician
248 HP / 252 ATK / 8 SPE
Bullet Punch
U-Turn
Pursuit
Superpower
Typical Choice Band Scizor. To be completely honest, I've always avoided Scizor. I just never liked the idea of it. It's the most overused Pokemon, I see it on every single team, but it is seems to work out quite well for other teams. Every team that I've ever built, however, has had Thunder Wave Jirachi. I've been able to deal with Scizor quite easily by switching to Jirachi every time and throwing a Sub up on Scizor's switch. However, I've grown to enjoy Scizor on this team. He's definitely the one Pokemon that I will replace in a heartbeat. I'm not a fan of Scizor or his movesets, and I just hate Choice Pokemon altogether. Regardless, when he attacks, he hits like a truck. The one positive thing about Scizor that I dig is that he's a great "prediction" Pokemon. His appearance instantly starts up a mind game. Guess wrong on its attack and you could have a dead Tyranitar on your hands.
I hate Scizor. I think everybody out there deep down inside just hates Scizor a little bit. It's the poster child of OU, and he represents just how typical and familiar teams can look. Stinkmeaner is a man who hates everything. He hates happiness. He hates life. In one episode, he even gets pissed off at the sunset. He's a founding father of the "Hateocracy", he's blind, and he's a pissed off former martial artist. At one point, he had even risen from Hell to possess the show's stereotypical "White Black man", Tom Dubois. All things that are hateful belong to Stinkmeaner.
Physical Annoyance:
A Pimp named Slickback
Machamp @ Leftovers
Nature: Adamant
Ability: No Guard
252 HP / 244 ATK / 12 SPE
Dynamicpunch
Substitute
Stone Edge
Payback
Machamp is one two of my stolen Pokemon. This set is not mine, but I still love it to death. Machamp is incredible. Simply incredible. No Guard Dynamicpunch is one of the most broken mechanics of Pokemon. There's nothing like a STAB move with 100 BP that causes Confusion 100% of the time, a status that can ruin the day for any opposing Pokemon. Here's what I love about Machamp. Generally speaking, Tyranitar will come in to the match at some point and destroy something precious of mine. That, or fat ass Blissey is switched in as soon as Gengar enters the playing field. The brilliance behind this set is that once Machamp is brought in to counter the opposing Pokemon, the fail-safe gut-check reaction of all trainers is to put their Ghost in. Generally speaking, it's a Rotom forme or Gengar. If it's a Dusknoir with EQ, then I have an issue. Otherwise, I throw a substitute up whenever possible with Machamp. There's nothing quite satisfying as getting a Payback kill on a Ghost whose only role has suddenly become substitute breaking. With the pesky Ghost out of the way, Machamp is free to spread Confusion to whatever it pleases.
It's quite obvious, really. What's the one piece of advice that A Pimp named Slickback (don't forget to say the whole thing) gives over and over in regard to keeping a bitch in line? YOU HIT THE BITCH! It's a guaranteed way to keep the dominance in your hands. That's what Machamp does. A Pokemon gets switched in .. BAM. Right in the face. Enjoy STAB Dynamicpunch and Confusion. Broken as all hell.
Physical Sweeper:
Ed Wuncler III
Kingdra @ Lum Berry
Nature: Adamant
Ability: Swift Swim
252 HP / 252 SPE / 4 SpD
Dragon Dance
Substitute
Outrage
Waterfall
I'm sorry to those who think otherwise, but this is the best Kingdra set out there. Depending on what the opponent is using, I will always force my switches on the typical Fire Pokemon of OU and use DD or Substitute. I prefer to use DD as fast as possible, to make the opponent not realize that I'm packing Substitute. Plenty of times, I see a status inducer switch in to Kingdra to use Thunder Wave or WoW. With that first DD up, I can throw a Substitute to avoid the status, and get a free additional DD. At this point, I just use Waterfall until I need to use Outrage. I don't want any sweeping to be thwarted by bulky Steel types. Seriously, with so few Dragon attacks floating around in OU, there is not much that can come in and put a hurting on Kingdra. I absolutely love this set, and I attribute almost all of my wins to this Kingdra.
Is there any better representation of OUTRAGE on the show than Wuncler? A former US soldier who happens to be the son of the man who has the entire town in his pocket, his hilarious attempts at criminal activity are fueled primarily by rage and an excuse to high-powered weaponry. Alongside his best friend Gin Rummy, the two hilariously fail at all of their attempts, only leaving places in much, much worse condition than when they first arrived. Without leaving anything to reason or rationality, Wuncler keeps shit real and he gets it real as fast as possible. "...The fuck ya'll lookin' at?"
Typical Ghost:
Thugnificent
Gengar @ Life Orb
Nature: Timid
Ability: Levitate
252 SPE / 252 SpA / 4 DEF
Shadow Ball
Focus Blast
Hidden Power [Fire]
Protect
This Gengar is about as typical as they come. I have him on my team for a few reasons. Gengar is a nice switch for Pokemon that could otherwise ruin the day of Jirachi. Pokemon such as ScarfTran that decides to use Earth Power or ScarfFlygon. You'll notice that it's the only pure Special Pokemon on my team. I try to avoid Special sweepers in general because I feel like Special walls are infinitely more annoying than physical walls. Still, it's a good idea to have at least one Special attacker out there for the physical walls show up. Having Fighting, Fire, and Ghost attacks also gives Gengar a stupid amount of coverage to anything that wants to switch in. Even a neutral STAB Shadow Ball will put a hurt on a lot Pokemon in OU. His ability to switch in to Normal, Fighting, and Ground really just help the team immensely.
Because Thugnificent represents all of the one-time great rap artists that made it big, but then fell down to obscurity. Sure, Gengar is still in OU, but being the stand-alone best Ghost in R/B/Y that could only be obtained through a trade was pretty damn sexy back in the day. I still remember facing my friend's LV. 100 Gengar and being filled with rage and envy. He refused to ever trade and evolve any of my Pokemon. He was one of those bratty kids. Needless to say, these tendencies carried over in to other aspects of life, and we don't speak any more. I like to pretend that it all started with Gengar, though. Regardless, Gengar just lacks the sexiness that it once had back in R/B/Y. Absolutely unique type and badass Special .. but now he's just a face in the crowd of OU.
Hax Master:
Huey Freeman
Jirachi @ Leftovers
Nature: Jolly
Ability: Serene Grace
164 HP / 168 ATK / 176 SPE
Substitute
Thunder Wave
Fire Punch
Iron Head
This is the second Pokemon that I outright stole from another person. This Jirachi completely wraps up the team and has the ability to enter so many battles and disrupt them. What I love about this Jirachi is that so many people use forms of Heatran. Heatran is everywhere. Heatran owns Jirachi. Every time I switch Jirachi in, I instantly throw a substitute up. The last thing that I want is to Thunder Wave a Jolteon/Electivire and sell my set. Without fail, Heatran comes roaring out looking to ruin Jirachi's day. Instantly, I paralyze it and lose my substitute on the same turn. I also learn, however, what move it just threw my way. I now have the opportunity to choose between Kingdra to begin his journey towards setting up, or Gengar to avoid a Ground attack and return with a Focus Blast (to a hopefully incoming Tyranitar).
About this Jirachi .. there's nothing worse than ParaFlinch. I've taken down opposing Pokemon on 6-7HKOs in desperation with Jirachi as the final Pokemon. It's absolutely stupid how well the obvious strategy works, but it becomes even more frustrating when Jirachi is hiding behind a Sub. Quite often, people will bring their counters in and just watch them get paralyzed. Now, obviously, I can't paralyze everything, but it's pretty nice to know what I can switch in when a Choice Pokemon is throwing attacks in his direction.
Not sure. Jirachi's head reminds me of an afro .. or a jester's hat. Either way, both are badasses. Doesn't really matter I suppose.
I'm looking forward to some rates on this team. There are some glaring weaknesses (which I will cover in an incoming threat list in the next day or two), but the team is original, fun, and successful. It's not the best team out there, but that's what I'm looking for. Just a little advice to make it better. I'm pretty comfortable with replacing members, but I have a soft spot for Machamp.
One last look:
