Pick your husband

[Brambane]

The male variant of the kd24/RODAN/shade thread for people who like dicks

not that I do

I SWEAR

Man A:
Italian
8/10, Brown Hair, Clean Shaven
Job: Attorney
Wants no children, but wants a dog
Controlling with finances
Doesn't want partner to have a job
Favorite Movie, Favorite TV Show: Lord of the Rings trilogy , Game of Thrones
Bad Fun Fact: He has cheated on his past girlfriends
Good Fun Fact: Your in-laws are the coolest people you've ever met
Religion: Christian (will convert you)
Dick Length: 6 inches
Sexual Fun Fact: Is excellent at foreplay

Man B:
South African
9/10, Shaved Head, Mustache
Job: Teacher, Volunteer Firefighter
Wants more than 3 children
Likes to spend money, often on useless things
Encourages partner to work
Favorite Movie, Favorite TV Show: Die Hard , The Walking Dead
Bad Fun Fact: Refuses to shave his pubic hair
Good Fun Fact: Has excellent hygiene
Religion: Muslim (will convert you, wants a Muslim wedding)
Dick Length: 8 inches
Sexual Fun Fact: Is disgusted by oral sex

Man C:
Dutch Indian
7/10, Black Hair, Clean Shaven
Job: Engineer
Wants 1 child
Saves money, cautious with spending
Indifferent if partner wants to work
Favorite Movie, Favorite TV Show: 2001: A Space Odyssey, Mythbusters
Bad Fun Fact: Recovering alcoholic
Good Fun Fact: Knows how to fix just about anything that breaks in your house
Religion: Hindu (won't convert you)
Dick Length: 5 inches
Sexual Fun Fact: Has amazing stamina and open to a variety of positions

Man D:
Canadian
10/10, Blonde Hair, Beard
Job: Currently unemployed
Indifferent to having children, but wants cats
Irresponsible with money, gambler
Demands partner to have a job
Favorite Movie, Favorite TV Show: Happy Gilmore , How I Met Your Mother
Bad Fun Fact: Has a jealous ex-wife
Good Fun Fact: Volunteered at an animal shelter
Religion: Athiest (won't convert you, but likes to insult other religions)
Dick Length: 7 inches
Sexual Fun Fact: Totally open to threeways

 

[scene]

there are two Man As

I can see why the second one is open to threeways
Also, how is anyone getting the D?

 

[Al_Alchemist]

If we choose man a are we stuck with both of them? I'm not sure if polygamy is very christian of him and me after the conversion.

 

[Shiruba]

If we choose man a are we stuck with both of them? I'm not sure if polygamy is very christian of him and me after the conversion.

not if he's a mormon fundamentalist ;)

edit wait something doesn't make sense. the first dude is christian, but a fair few of the people here'd be gay dudes, right? so... how does that work?

double edit - 'canadian' and 'south african' don't really imply race. there're lots of white/black people in those countries, respectively, but there are a good chunk of white people in south africa [they ruled over the black people there a la united states for a long time], and canada is pretty all over the place.

triple edit - i'd like to know what 'stamnia' is lol

blah - body type is important, you should add it. c:

 

[GatoDelFuego]

All four of these are better than the other dealbreaker women

This isn't fair

 

[Tobihime]

I want the D. Huehuehue

 

[Brambane]

double edit - 'canadian' and 'south african' don't really imply race. there're lots of white/black people in those countries, respectively, but there are a good chunk of white people in south africa [they ruled over the black people there a la united states for a long time], and canada is pretty all over the place.

this was intentional



fixed the typos and shit

 

[PK Gaming]

C

He's the perfect husbando

 

[Shiruba]

[thanks!]

does dude D remind anyone of theamazingatheist?
sure he's prolly american but he's also not employed to my knowledge [youtube doesn't really count], is blonde with a beard, an atheist who likes to trash talk other religions, doesn't like/want kids, and he has that asshole mentality like most other people that would probably like happy gilmore .

 

[Oglemi]

most definitely c

 

[Deck Knight]

[thanks!]

does dude D remind anyone of theamazingatheist?
sure he's prolly american but he's also not employed to my knowledge [youtube doesn't really count], is blonde with a beard, an atheist who likes to trash talk other religions, doesn't like/want kids, and he has that asshole mentality like most other people that would probably like happy gilmore .

AA fits no one's description of 10/10 on looks, unless there's such a thing as male chubby chasers.

Also America wasn't the exclusive driver of the slave trade (Canada also had slavery until Britain abolished it in all its territories). African tribal leaders sold the original slaves to other nations - they were selling off their prisoners of war captured in tribal disputes, and slavery still exists there and in many parts of the Middle East.

Gonna guess there will be near zero female responses to this thread because none of your descriptions emphasize how much stamina these guys have for hearing about your feelings, nor about how in touch they are with their feminine side.

 

[Daenym]

Man A:
Italian
8/10, Brown Hair, Clean Shaven
Job: Attorney
Wants no children, but wants a dog
Controlling with finances
Doesn't want partner to have a job
Favorite Movie, Favorite TV Show: Lord of the Rings trilogy , Game of Thrones
Bad Fun Fact: He has cheated on his past girlfriends
Good Fun Fact: His in-laws are the coolest people you've ever met
Religion: Christian (will convert you)
Dick Length: 6 inches
Sexual Fun Fact: Is excellent at foreplay

Draco don't tell me you let this man fool you.

 

[Shiruba]

i know that. i said similar not "exact description of" lol.

and i also know that, but a lot of people on this site are american and will thus relate better + there was this huge revolution with martin luther king jr. which i don't think happened in britain [could be wrong though, we don't really go into britain's background too much aside from the places it conquered in our curriculum]

 

[RaRe555]

A all the way, because: italians are hot, dogs>kids, likes fantasy TV, foreplay's like the best part of sex imo. Turn-offs are the fact he wouldn't want me to work (but maybe if I beg enough...) and there may be some problems if he's too ridiculous with limiting expenses and stuff, but as long as he's rational things should be fine.

 

[HSA]

I didn't read the rest of the descriptions, but based solely on dick size I'm going for Man B

 

[Woodchuck]

Man A:
Good Fun Fact: His in-laws are the coolest people you've ever met

honestly if his in-laws aka MY relatives are the coolest people i've ever met then this is the most depressing option

 

[Houndoomsday]

I didn't read the rest of the descriptions, but based solely on dick size I'm going for Man B

im the only one to have voted for him thus far |:<

 

[Yeti]

Honestly all of these have something so critically wrong I would rather just be single than marry any of them. Some mix of the less-unfortunate traits of A and C would be pickable, but as they are? NAHHHHHH. Do not want.

D is by far the worst though, what an absolutely pathetic scrub.

 

[EspyOwner]

Why is Deck Knight not one of these options I would much rather marry him

 

[Deck Knight]

Why is Deck Knight not one of these options I would much rather marry him

That reminds me, does this list have the implicit assumption that the men *claim* to value monogamy and fidelity (Man A's noted glaring problem with it notwitshtanding)?

I'd probably bore you to death over the precipitous drop in the valuation of the marriage culture in a hypothetical scenario where we were married. Ex: "Dan Savage is a whorish little git trying to promote "monogamish" relationships among gay men - as if the disease prospects of dealing with one ass were not enough, now Dan says you should share with the entire ass of humanity. I might trust your ass, but I'm not about to trust the ass of every ass out there who has ever assed to be an ass."

I mean that in the entirely non-literal sense because, again, exit only. I would be an exceedingly terrible partner in that aspect - again entirely hypothetically, changing nothing about my likes/dislikes but altering my orientation and marriage desire. There'd also be the problem of me grabbing the breasts of women under the now-factual pretense I would be gay. Is that even considered cheating?

 

[skylight]

A and C would make an amazing combination because of dogs, and the fact that the second one can fix things, but C wins purely because of hair colour. Also, mentioned above was how there'd be little females replying, but I figure with the looks not being as great, dick size not being as great - not entirely based on looks, that option C would care most about feelings (also why I picked it!) illogical reasoning but w/e.

 

[Outlaw]

Why is there no option for a 10/10 who's wealthy, sophisticated and a complete kawaii psychopath?

I could never choose anyone else.

 

[Brambane]

Man "E" is for extra
British
11/10, Brown Hair, Clean Shaven
Job: None, inherited great amounts of moneys
Indifferent to having children, no pets
Open to spending because of vast wealth
Prefers partner not to work
Favorite Movie, Favorite TV Show: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Swamp People
Bad Fun Fact: Was tried for murder and cannibalism, declared not guilty
Good Fun Fact: Excellent at preparing food, especially on the grill
Religion: Devout Pastafarian
Dick Length: 10 inches
Sexual Fun Fact: Likes to bring a knife into bed

I'm not sure if it was a reference I was supposed to get, but I made this one especially for you Outlaw!!!!!!

 

[Deck Knight]

Man "E" is for extra
British
11/10, Brown Hair, Clean Shaven
Job: None, inherited great amounts of moneys
Indifferent to having children, no pets
Open to spending because of vast wealth
Prefers partner not to work
Favorite Movie, Favorite TV Show: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Swamp People
Bad Fun Fact: Was tried for murder and cannibalism, declared not guilty
Good Fun Fact: Excellent at preparing food, especially on the grill
Religion: Devout Pastafarian
Dick Length: 10 inches
Sexual Fun Fact: Likes to bring a knife into bed

I'm not sure if it was a reference I was supposed to get, but I made this one especially for you Outlaw!!!!!!

This is why this thread can't have nice things. Shut the hell up, Hannibal!

 

[Outlaw]

Man "E" is for extra
British
11/10, Brown Hair, Clean Shaven
Job: None, inherited great amounts of moneys
Indifferent to having children, no pets
Open to spending because of vast wealth
Prefers partner not to work
Favorite Movie, Favorite TV Show: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Swamp People
Bad Fun Fact: Was tried for murder and cannibalism, declared not guilty
Good Fun Fact: Excellent at preparing food, especially on the grill
Religion: Devout Pastafarian
Dick Length: 10 inches
Sexual Fun Fact: Likes to bring a knife into bed

I'm not sure if it was a reference I was supposed to get, but I made this one especially for you Outlaw!!!!!!

Nice try, but I'm onto you Hobbs.

This is why this thread can't have nice things. Shut the hell up, Hannibal!