Because i have no one else to go to. I wanna hear why i shouldnt fuck him up or cut his dick off. I am not trolling, this is very serious.
Fair enough. This is the longest, most personally revealing post I'll ever make here. I hope you're happy.
To put it quite bluntly, I can relate to what you're going through. The only girl I've ever loved was raped. Talking with her in the aftermath was probably one of the most psychologically terrifying things I've ever born witness to. This was too much for me to really grip when I was 15, and I'm sure it still is now. Just the way she talked with me afterward, how she snapped into such a helpless, panicked, yet distant state, was indescribably horrific. I was just at a loss and devastated by the trauma this man inflicted on someone I cared so much about.
Until that night, I was a pacifist. I hope I never meet that man. I have his picture and his name on a message board. I know he lives in Fort Lauterdale, Florida. I'll admit, I have tried to look for him more than once. If I ever do meet him, I really fear I'll just fly into a blind rage. You can't look at someone, someone whose face you've memorized as the man that's basically torn the girl you love's life apart, and not feel a rush of emotion.
Now there's my backstory. I empathize with you and your girlfriend on this level. I do not think I will be beating up this man. I can't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind to drive to Florida and fuck stuff up, but it's nothing I'd ever do.
for those keeping track at home, this is part of a long line of psychological and emotional problems that have contributed to my personality. if you ever wonder what terrible, haunted person i must be, well, yeah...
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Now. This isn't about me, or my former love. This is about you. I've pieced this together from your posts so I can understand how you feel about her, and the context involved. I spliced your first few posts around a little to prove a point.
I love her to death and i cant understand why people are such assholes.
I have a girlfriend who was raped. It was over 2 years ago. Shes trying to let it go but i know it still hurts her. Cuz she still feels pain No, she doesnt want to go to the police for god knows what reason. Plus its been so long i doubt we can prove it.
The man who did it got away without any penalty whatsoever. So i feel its my job to teach him a lesson. Im not letting it go. and he hasnt learned his lesson. For all i know he could be raping little girls right now and as a good man i cant allow that. Why cant people understand that? Maybe if hes truely sorry and makes up for it somehow (witch he cant), then i would let it go. I dont care if it was 2 years or 20 years. He fucked up big time. Why do u say i should?
She may be fine with being raped but i cant let him do it to others. I dont even care if she hates me i want this asshole to pay. Cuz i know he wouldnt do that to me or anyone else who could defend themselves. What a bitch
Nahhh all thats uncalled for. I would just do like the old days and cut his dick off lol. But what seperates him from others is the fact that he did it to my bestfriend. I cant defend everyone. But i will defend my family and close friends to the end. Maybe someone will see what happened to him and change their mind about a crime. Id be a hero. An unrecognized hero. I would dedicate my life to crime fighting, but id be thrown in jail for a looooong time
You have about one line in your posts about your feelings toward your grilfriend, a few bits of backstory, and then several paragraphs of your obsession with revenge. To be perfectly frank, you aren't doing this for her. You're rationalizing your desire to fuck this man up as defending her and her honor, or that this man deserved it, when your posts clearly demonstrate that you're being extremely insensitive to the REAL victim here.
This isn't something you were personally involved in. You were not dating her when she was raped. You've dated her for, like, a month. You're absolutely obsessed with revenge, and it can't be purely out of some kind of commitment to her or something, unless you're psychotic and think that some gigantic elaborate show will win her heart forever or something. I think you may have some other issues, and that you tearing open this old wound, intentionally or unintentionally, is going to do her more harm than a truly loving person (which could be you) would be willing to do willingly.
I disagree its NOT her decision because my decision>hers everytime because i have reasons for mine.
Take a breath, repeat after me.
YOU WERE NOT RAPED
IT IS NOT YOUR PEROGATIVE
IF SHE DOESNT WANT YOU DOING ANYTHING INVOLVING YOUR RAPE, YOU ARE TRAMPLING ALL OVER HER DESIRES AND WISHES.
Rape victims are fucked up. It makes sense, they were raped. I get that. But you should NEVER do something regarding her rape she doesn't want you to. You're, in essence, violating her way of dealing with the severe trauma that is rape.
If she can explain to me a good reason as to why i should drop it, then i will concider it.
Here is a good reason.
YOU DIDNT GET FUCKING RAPED.
I guess its cause she doesnt want anyone to get hurt, but im willing to take that risk.
You don't even KNOW why? That's oddly insensitive for someone trying so hard to be a hero. Honestly, at this point, I just got pissed off. This clearly isn't even about her at all, is it.
I dont see how i can POSSIBLY be hurting her. She doesnt even have to know about it. If anything it should make her feel better knowing that justice has been served. Besides its not about hate and love, its about making sure he doesnt do it again
For someone who claims or tells himself that rape is so horrible they are this motivated to do something about it, you really lack an understanding of what makes rape the worst crime anyone can commit.
Rape is psychological. Terrible. Awful. It's not just getting beat up and oh there's sex too. The odd thing is I type this, and I think "of course you know this, how can you be this mad if you don't", but you obviously don't even understand what rape does to a victim emotionally. Trauma is not something one wants to relive, mention, think about, deal with. Many rape victims go completely insane.
Yeah, she should feel better knowing he can never do it again. It all makes so much sense, right? Psychological damage doesn't always make you think in terms of "making sense". If you think rape is that simple that "oh his dick got removed" will suddenly put her at ease, I just don't even know where to begin.
But thats exactly the problem he doesnt care about consequences. He can and will do anything.
Have you met the man? Obviously not, as he still has his dick intact.
I gave arguements as to why i should do it, you just say let it go. If someone, ANYONE can give a good reason as to why i should let him rape other girls then please speak now./QUOTE]
Look, I know the kind of person I'm trying to rationalize with now isn't exactly the kind of person who weighs logic and reason in their decision making process. Emotions tend to make things irrational.
By not doing something directly to this man, you are not "allowing rapes to happen". You are not the world's sole line of defense from this man.
Irrational? Ive spelled it out as to why i should.
Let's get this straight here.
Go up and read my post above a little. You know, the one where I talk about how even right now I want to drive to Florida and beat up a guy. I'm a college student in upstate New York. Do you think that is a rational thing I want to do?
Emotions make things irrational. If they didn't, rape wouldn't be as horrifying. Love would never happen. It's just a fact.
Besides i dont even love her that much ive only known her for a month.
And here we go.
You
don't care about this girl.
You are putting
yourself over your girlfriend's emotional health, her personal safety, and her privacy. You would rather be a hero than care about your own fucking girlfriend.
In short, you are being the worst kind of boyfriend. She doesn't deserve guys like you. Fuck you.
Dude. What's stopping the guy from coming and murdering your girlfriend? The one that just got his dick cut off. Yeah. Forgot about that, huh.
Wrong again, the hero thing was just a metaphor. I am a man so it is my job to protect the weak. If you dont agree, then we just have different belifes.
I hope this gets through to you. I know I made a long post with lots of accenting, but I fear for her safety if I don't say this.
You are putting her life in danger.
Okay.
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That was harsh. It was pretty bad and big. I did that mostly to get your attention and partly because I'm really fucking angry about rape right now. I guess we have a lot in common, huh.
There are a billion reasons not to do what you want to right now. I'm convinced you're not thinking coherently. You're rationalizing. You're basically throwing your relationship away over one terrible, terrible man. No matter how you slice it, if you act on these thoughts believing them to be the normal, sane things to do, you are not thinking clearly.
But I've got to say this. If you hunt this man down, you are putting her in danger of her life. You've already done enough to this chick by obsessing over her rape. If you truly love her and care about her, you will absolutely not castrate this man. Emotional issues and her objections completely aside, rapists are not nice people. You could cause this man to kill her.
