Man, coming from someone with a defeatist mentality. You have one and you're way too stubborn. Stop being a stick in the mud and get off your feet and do something about it. Sitting there wallowing in paranoia, confusion and failures isn't going to do crap for you. Make an alternative email and sign up for things with that, that way you get no spam email on your regular, personal email. Learn to use things, if you don't like change, well - tough, sometimes you need to adapt to get what you want. If there's still no match on reddit, ask someone here with the pattern to get you more eggs in a mutual exchange.
Just please stop being a debby downer especially when people are trying to give you useful information.