Dear Upside, you are BubbleMan
You are a cowardly Navi, who fights by hiding behind a rock and within a protective bubble to avoid harm. You joined the WWW…eh, who knows why you joined in the first place, but you’re there now, so that’s all that matters, right? You are very low on the totem pole of WWW command, however. 
You are a NetNavi only, and as such cannot Jack In. 
Every night, you may PM UncleSam and billymills with “Night X-Bubble Parade <user>”. That night, you will create a protective bubble around <user>, protecting <user> from most night actions. Your bubble is somewhat weak, however, and so this will not work if <user> is targeted for a kill. 
You know the identity of your cousin, DrillMan. He is: hailflameblast 
You are in possession of the BattleChip Sword*. Maybe, if you combine it with other chips, something good will happen. 
You are allied with the WWW. You win if the WWW eliminates all threats.