I was really excited for Pokemon showdown to come back up and I am excited for everyone Whois happy it's back. But for me. My time is done here. It gets to a point where you are to exhausted of attempting to improve and just being shot down. I'm kind of just genuinely upset and don't really want to play anymore. The moderators win this game of tag. I'm on to improving my irl. I made that post on here about being bullied by blazexc and I turned it into a discussion about rape and people got really mad and it was funny. I'm kind of just a rebel without a cause and that's my thing. I don't do it because I want to. I do it because that's the only way I know how to live. I want to try and mess up things irl because I think it's my calling. Showdown just isn't fun for me anymore. I'm not pointing fingers at any mods because they're just doing their job and it makes sense that they would try to ruin the game for me. I just wish some of them could have seen my attempts to improve. But I think that me leaving is for the better. I suffer from a small grade depression which stems mostly from my insecurities and odd thoughts which outcast me. While on showdown I never really showed my true self or revealed anything about me because I don't even truly know who I am. A lot of what I say is an act but it's also half truth. I like to say I'm depressed in a troll like fashion because it's my way of telling people about it. I need to move on from here and find out who I really am. I genuinely enjoyed my time here and I'm glad I met the people I did. I will wear my smogon university sweatshirt until I grow out of it. I would appreciate if no one deleted this because this is my way of confirming my resignation from showdown. And that's important to me because I need to move on. It's been cool ok bye
