Challenge The Scramble Challenge - Mark 2

Sorry for the double post, but here is my current team minus the restrictions for now:

1. Sarge the Diglett by BeastMode( I need new restrictions because the ones you gave me are invalid...)

2. Cell the Pidgey by Super Sayian( Awesome restrictions!!)

3. El Gigante the Swinub by Vratix( With the clarification I recieved, this is very good)

4. Jack the Caterpie by Axemaster( This is a ThreadshotA1 level challange...... Maybe the same poke but based off someone a little different??)

5. Kamek the Misdreavus by waterwarrior( Time to reset the DS times so I can get that Stone ASAP)

6. ?????? the ??????? by Captains( At 1:38 P.M. GMT -5, your challange will be nullified and up for grabs)

My Challange rules and restrictions are on the last page if Captains does not make a post.
Take a Hoothoot and call it Wario. It is pure evil, and must always use physical moves in battle. However it envies other Flying type pokemon + therefore must use Hypnosis against them. It must always hold a Oran Berry.
My fault Super Sayian.............
I was a bit destracted while typing that >_>

My rules stand as I said: Captains has given an invalid pokemon that was COMPLETELY off base. The final category is now up for grabs.

Captains, if you wish to still be in the category, post a new pokemon( AKA not HootHoot) under the YuGiOh category.

My rules are on post #816. Lets go people :D
I just soloed Fantina with a Mime Jr.
Next time BrazilianGuy asks for a challenge, any challenge, he's soloing the elite four with a Magikarp.

I'm off to save my game eighty million times.

I have just been informed that BeastMode is pulling out of the Challange.

This means that the Halo and YuGiOh categories are now open.

Please hurry to post #816 and create a challange.....
Hey KS, why don't you make it Clair or Jasmine? Also, what else would you like me to revise?

Also, Jimera, how about this revised edition:

Jimera, you get Wotter the Mudkip. Wotter was once part of the group of Mudkip that took in Kipkip the Oshawott for a while. He just happened to be one of his best friends, until he got kicked out and joined waterwarrior. So, he must keep one move that Oshawott can learn that is UNDER 50 BP, the BP of KipKip's move that Mudkip can learn in 5th gen. Still, Wotter is part of the Water type army, joining the battle against the evil Grass and Electric type armies. He must carry out the fight against each army, and must carry out the following:
-solo your rival's starter twice(not including the first battle)
-solo 10 trainer owned electric and 10 trainer owned grass types
-solo all trainers in Wattson's gym.

Once the above are complete, Wotter can evolve.

When he does evolve, his personal vendetta against grass types grows so much that he now must solo 5 grass types not required for another pokemon to solo. He must never participate in a battle with your Shroomish. He must also solo 5 electric type, to prove his loyalty to the water tribe. He is also how part of the Ground tribe, one of the many allies of the Water tribe. And so, he must solo 5 ice types.

Wotter can evolve to Swampert after Tate and Liza. Also, Wotter must know 1 and only 1 move above 80 BP, and 1 STAB move. The STAB move must have no more than 80 BP. Also, Wotter must solo Loreli and 2 other E4 pokemon. Finally, Wotter must never use an SE move, as the water tribe is one of the most noble tribes there is. All of the Marshtomp restrictions carry over to Swampert, and you will need to repeat the 5 pokemon solos, except you can substitute 3 trainer-owned ones of each.

Sorry for the difficulty, I had a bad day yesterday and I guess I went a bit overboard.
^Axemaster, as you can see, there are now two spots open. You may choose one if you desire because I really dislike defaulting people...........
@ King Serperior sorry I see someone has it reserved, and this one suxx and I had it all typed and stuff so sorry.(please bear with me, I don't know much about Yu Gi Oh, and you probably wanted a character, but this is the best I could do)

You get Mirror Force the Wooper/Quagsire

Although an amazing card, and was previously extremely expensive in real life, for the purposes of entertainment your Mirror Force is a liability. Don't get me wrong, your Mirror Force is amazing against pure out attackers, and can destroy them with ease, however any Pokemon in the "defense position" Quagsire can do nothing to. For this reason, he has to switch out on any pokemon that are defensively oriented. To deduce whether it's a "defense" pokemon or "offense" pokemon you have to take the higher base stat from either attack or special attack, and take the higher base stat from either HP, Defense, or Sp.Defense of that pokemon and compare. If their attack is higher it's an offense pokemon and vice versa. Mirror Force also has a tendency to beat n00bs who just started playing Yu Gi Oh, so Quagsire need to solo all youngsters (including Bugsy if you want a challenge. ) whether or not they use "defense" position pokemon, unless another pokemon has a requirement to beat one of the youngster's pokemon.


You don't understand, Edgar is the one in the hole!
is a Smogon Social Media Contributor Alumnus
That's a little better Axemaster, I'll take it. Seems like everyone has answered my questions too, so it looks like I can start. As such, I'll make this into my main post for this challange. It'll be linked to my signature and when I put up updates I'll add a notice to my signature.

SO! I'll start as usual with a list of my challanges.

LafondaOnFire said:
Jimera0, take a Baltoy and nickname it Relic.
Relic is a very ancient child's toy from the past who later came to life as a Pokemon. He is unable to change to the advances in this world, and therefore, he is under the following restrictions:
Relic must learn and keep Selfdestruct/Explosion ASAP. Whenever he does not have a status condition and his HP is in the red, he must use the move since he is not much use anymore and does not wish for you to waste your items to heal him.
To evolve, he must land the final blow on 10 Trainer-owned Pokemon while using Selfdestruct/Explosion under the limits of the above restriction.
He must always know a Psychic attacking move to harness his memories of the past for him to attack.
He must learn and keep Ancientpower ASAP. Again, he cannot change to modern society so he is forced to use the power of the past to attack.
To prove how the past is much stronger than the present, he must always remain in battle against Tate & Liza and solo both of their Pokemon - your teammate may not deal any direct damage to their Pokemon. (Moves like Confuse Ray or Toxic are fine)
He must also solo all other Trainer-owned Psychic type Pokemon. (Excluding trainers in gyms)

To recap:
Must know (Selfdestruct/Explosion) / Ancientpower / Psychic-type move
Must use Selfdestruct/Explosion whenever in red health and statused
Must KO 10 trainer-owned Pokemon under the above restriction to evolve
Must solo Tate & Liza; teammate cannot directly deal damage to their Pokemon
Must solo all trainer-owned Psychic Pokemon (Excluding those in gyms)
King Serperior said:
@Jimera: Take Big Banks the Zigzagoon. Big Banks has to know Thunderbolt and Double Team ASAP. Those TMs must be Bought from the Game Corner. How are you susposed to get that much cash?? Big Banks' items of course!! SELL ALL items he gets via Pick Up. Keep track of how much money you get with those items because you can only use that money. After learning those two moves, he can evolve. You now have two choices:
1. Give him the Amulet Coin ASAP and have him lead in ALL major battles(gym Leader, rival, admin, E4, champion, Etc.)

2. Sell all items he gets and keep track of it all. Until you get $10,000 off of it all, you may now use Physical moves. Until then-All Special. The money you recieve from all of this must go to buying Revives ONLY.

Now matter the restriction, solo Wallace's Milotic(no electric moves) and whishcash.
auramaster said:
@Jimera0, take a Makuhita named Tough. In case you haven't noticed, Makuhita isn't exactly the most popular Fighting type around. It might even be the least popular. Either way, Tough is always mocked for not being a cool Fighting type, so it strives to only learn attacking moves, at least two of which must be Fighting attacks. Tough decides to prove them wrong by soloing Wattson, and everyone stops for a while, but they still continue to mock him. Tough decides to finally live up to his name by winning a Tough contest, then keeping the winning tough moveset for the rest of the game. And just to make sure they stay quiet, solo 3 of Wally's Pokemon.

Now, you might be wondering who keeps mocking him. Have you figured it out? Fighting types! Tough must solo every Fighting type you find, unless this contradicts another challange.

For the contest, your rules said you didn't have good access to berries. Tough understands, so he refuses to use up any of your precious berries, or pokeblocks, or anything else that would use up your berries.

Have fun!

EDIT: I meant just for contests, but that's a good idea, no berries at all for Tough.
End Quote said:
Jimera0, take a Shroomish and name it Technician.
This Shroomish heard that Breloom got Technician from the Dream World, so it can never use attacks that are over 60 BP.

To evolve, solo a gym leader and every trainer in his/her gym.

It must solo two Pokémon in the elite four.

Good luck!
Newby N0Ob said:
@Jimera0: You get Hypothesis the Poochyena. Its restrictions are defined in a series of hypothetical statements.
- If it is a neutral nature, then it cannot use items that don't restore HP.
- If it soloes your rival once, then it can learn TMs.
- If it faints against a gym leader, then it cannot have items used on it until the next gym leader is beaten.
- If it has a Dark-type move, then it must have more than one status move (the Dark-type one can be one of them)
- If it is the lowest level, then you cannot use other Scramblemons until this is rectified.
- If a Scramblemon has to solo a trainer in your current town/route, then the above restriction is void.

If you have any objections, let me know.
Axmaster68 said:
Jimera, you get Wotter the Mudkip. Wotter was once part of the group of Mudkip that took in Kipkip the Oshawott for a while. He just happened to be one of his best friends, until he got kicked out and joined waterwarrior. So, he must keep one move that Oshawott can learn that is UNDER 50 BP, the BP of KipKip's move that Mudkip can learn in 5th gen. Still, Wotter is part of the Water type army, joining the battle against the evil Grass and Electric type armies. He must carry out the fight against each army, and must carry out the following:
-solo your rival's starter twice(not including the first battle) Reduced to just once as it became clear twice was impossible
-solo 10 trainer owned electric and 10 trainer owned grass types
-solo all trainers in Wattson's gym.

Once the above are complete, Wotter can evolve.

When he does evolve, his personal vendetta against grass types grows so much that he now must solo 5 grass types not required for another pokemon to solo. He must never participate in a battle with your Shroomish. He must also solo 5 electric type, to prove his loyalty to the water tribe. He is also how part of the Ground tribe, one of the many allies of the Water tribe. And so, he must solo 5 ice types.

Wotter can evolve to Swampert after Tate and Liza. Also, Wotter must know 1 and only 1 move above 80 BP, and 1 STAB move. The STAB move must have no more than 80 BP. Also, Wotter must solo Loreli and 2 other E4 pokemon. Finally, Wotter must never use an SE move, as the water tribe is one of the most noble tribes there is. All of the Marshtomp restrictions carry over to Swampert, and you will need to repeat the 5 pokemon solos, except you can substitute 3 trainer-owned ones of each.

Sorry for the difficulty, I had a bad day yesterday and I guess I went a bit overboard.

Table of Contents:

Alright, it is time to start anew! Since it seems like I still can’t handle Nuzlocke challenges, it’s back to the good old Scramble Challanges. And this time, it’s going to be an actual challange! So without further ado, let’s dive in!

Hello der’ Professor Birch! Blah blah mysterious Pokemon, yeah yeah whatever. And you can’t tell my gender either. Is there something about Pokemon research that destroys the part of the brain capable of recognizing gender or something? Anyway, Jimera I am and always shall be. You shall remember my name, for it will be sung along with the tale of my grand adventure, from now until the end of time! Or you’ll forget it in 5 minutes. Either one.

AND BOOM! Suddenly, moving van. I’ve already joked about having to ride in the van, my broken clock, meeting May, etc. in my Nuzlocke updates so I’ll just skip past this part and get to the important stuff.

Alright, time to get a hold of Wotter! I’ll just obliterate this laughable Poochyena and move on with the story.
*does so*

Alright then, now I get to go find May and battle her. Fun fun.

Wotter has an Adamant nature… ah well, shouldn’t matter TOO much.

I went through Odale Town and now I’m going to smush May and her Treeko. On the way here Wotter learned Mud-Slap, which should give me the edge I need.

*Much Mud-Slapping and Tackling later*
Well that was nice and easy. All but one of her Treeko’s Pounds missed thanks to Mud-Slap! Anyway, now to get the Pokedex and start building my team!

*A bunch of dialogue I’ve already made fun of later*
Alright, I’ve got my Pokedex and some Pokeballs! Now I can catch both Big Banks and Hypothesis, who will certainly both be interesting to use… Well this shouldn’t take long.

Oh, also my Mom gave me my running shoes, whilst talking about how much like my father I am and yada yada. Seriously, EVERYONE is comparing me to my father here. It’s starting to get annoying, like I’m doomed to live in his shadow or something…

*First Pokemon is a lv 2 male Zigzagoon*
Alright! Welcome to the tea-
*OHKO’s with a critical Tackle*

*Second Pokemon is a lv 2 male Poochyena*
Ok! Welcome to the team Hypothesis! For real this time!

Looks like it has a Sassy nature… not ideal, but at least this means that one of the nastier restrictions it could have is null. I can use potions on you Hypothesis! Wooo!

Alas, it is level two, which means I must use him, and only him, until I get it up to level 7. This is going to be annoying.

*after a bit of grinding*
Run Away has never been so useful. It allows me to deal with Pokemon that are at a higher level than him that he can’t beat. I’d do the bait and switch tactic to train him, but noooo not allowed due to restrictions. Lame D:

AHA! A lv 3 Zizagoon! Hopefully I can catch it despite having to use Hypothesis.
*A few Tackles from me and a few Growls from it later*
Alight, thanks to a crit I’ve got it in capture range now. Time to join the team Big Banks!
*Big Banks is captured!
Alright! I still got more grinding to do though…

*after checking his nature*
CRAP. Timid? Well oh well… I could re-catch it but I’m too lazy and it couldn’t matter that much. Right?

*A bit later*
Good lord Tackle is missing so much you’d think it had an accuracy of 80%... I haven’t had issues like this with Tackle of all things for ages. It’s like having Hustle without the extra power.
*a little later*
Man training Hypothesis was hard going at first, but now that I’ve got a few levels it’s becoming a lot easier. At least I don’t have to run away from every lv 3 I encounter anymore. He’s also learned Howl, which I’ll be glad to make use of.
*A little while later*
FINALLY it’s level 7! Now I can use Wotter if I have to. Thank lord.

Alright, now to go off to route 102 for my first trainer battle!
*Youngester’s lv 5 Zigzagoon is manhandled by Hypothesis*
Woooo! I’m going to keep training Hypothesis until it gets high enough that I don’t have to worry about it becoming the lowest in my party I think. The trainers on this route should do the trick!

Bug Catcher: “Aha our eyes met! You must battle me now!”
BUT BUT BUT I wasn’t even looking at you! You saw me, but I didn’t see YOU! I was looking off to your left! I wasn’t even facing the right direction! D: CHEATER!

Woooo Big Banks found a Nugget! Keep bringing in the money boy!

Alright, I collected my limited supply of berries and finished up the route. Now I just got to go through the part where I give Wally a tutorial but he’s really giving me a tutorial, because that totally makes sense. Then I can get out of here and move on.

Gotta buy a few supplies first though, some antidotes, paralyze heal and potions. NOW I can head off to Route 104!

Damn, I’m still in the Nuzlocke mindset. I’m constantly terrified my Pokemon are going to get KO’d despite the fact it doesn’t really matter… Anyway, Big Banks learned Tail Whip and Hypothesis got Sand-Attack. Good stuff!

Mud-Slap is proving mighty useful on Wotter so far. It’s a shame I’ll have to ditch it for a better STAB move once it evolves. Then again, by that point it probably won’t be as useful as it once was way anyway.

Speaking of which, I used it to great effect against that damn Rich Boy with his Full Restore. I used Mud-Slap to bring its accuracy down to -6, so when he used his Full Restore it was still useless. Hell, it was useless to the point where Big Banks, at lv 5, can defeat it, a lv 7. It’s fun using his own cheap-ass item to my advantage!

Oh, I also caught a Wingull and a Lotad to use as future HM slaves. You lot might not have noticed, but you seriously left me hanging when it comes to HMs with the Pokemon you gave me :P.

Now I can catch the 4th member of my team! We’re not even past the first chapter, and I’ll already have more Pokemon on my team this time than I did by my 4th gym badge in my Diamond Scramble!

AHA! Finally, I found a lv 6 female Shroomish! Time to join the team Technician! You’ll be a godsend for Roxanne, since I can’t use super effective attacks with Wotter. It can use Bullet seed too, which is nice. I think I’ll Solo Roxanne’s whole gym with him, so he can evolve ASAP. I’m lucky that Roxanne is easily available… he wouldn’t do so well against later gyms as a Shroomish.

It has a timid nature… crap. You know what? If I encounter another one I’m catching it instead… I seriously need more power on my team. It also has Effect Spore, but since I can’t get Toxic Orb anyway Effect Spore is probably more useful than Poison Heal so that’s actually a blessing in disguise. We’ll see what else I catch before I decide whether to keep it or not though.

Alright a lv 5 female one, let’s try this out… Bold and Effect Spore. This one is even worse! Well, third time’s the charm?

Another lv 5 female… hopefully this one is better. Let’s see… Effect Spore and Impish! While still not ideal, at least not at first when it’ll be relying on its grass typing, it’s good enough to use. Welcome to the team Technician… FOR REAL THIS TIME.

Anyway, before I go further I’m going to get everyone up a couple levels. MOAR GRINDING TIME!
*a while later*
Woo Big Banks learned Headbutt! If only its nature wasn’t Timid! I probably should’ve re-caught him too but now that I’ve gone to the trouble of raising him I’m not bothering.
*more later*
Now Technician got Stun Spore, which will be useful. Note that she isn’t going to end up with Spore. Why? Because I’d have to keep her as a Shroomish until level FIFTY-FOUR in order to get it. In other words; it’s not worth it.
*Later still*
Wth is going on? I haven’t had Effect Spore activate even once, for either me OR my opponent. I didn’t get hit by it when catching the all those Shroomish, and it hasn’t activated on my opponents while training Technician. That’s really damn weird, since lots of Tackle’s are hitting her… I wonder if somehow it’s bugged on my game? Well I’ll find out eventually.
*a little bit later*
NOPE it finally activated, poisoning a Zigzagoon. I have no idea why it took so long to activate though O.o it’s supposed to work 30% of the time.
*A little bit later*
And now Technician gets Leech Seed, which I fully expect to be extremely useful. I might end up going with a Subseed set in the end, seeing as I can’t use powerful attacks.
*later yet*
And there we go, Wotter learns Water Gun and my training is done for now. Through Petalburg woods I go!

There are just a few trainers in here, not much to do. Hypothesis destroys the opposing Grunt’s Poochyena, and the other trainers in here weren’t much trouble. I shoulda used Technician against the grunt though, just to rub it in the face of that Devon Co. Employee that I found a Shroomish (well three actually) while he never even got a chance to catch one of his own! Mwahahahaaha!

Just outside the forest I pick up Bullet Seed for Technician to use over Absorb (he has Leech Seed to take advantage of for healing) and then I go smush more trainers. Nothing of interest except that Wotter Solo’d a Lotad and Shroomish to work towards his evolution requirement, though the Shroomish nearly haxed him to death with parahax. The double battle was so easy I didn’t even take a hit.

And now I am in Rustboro City! I’ll refrain from commenting again since I just covered this area in my Nuzlocke, but I can let you know I’ve acquired HM 01 Cut and taught it to Big Banks, as well as the Quick Claw which I gave to Hypothesis, who is also known as “the dumbass who is outsped by a Shroomish”.

Anyway, now it’s time to explore route 116 and take out the trainers there. I’m going to have to grind again once I’m done here.

*thoroughly thrashes opposing trainers*
And that’s why yah don mess wit me, see? Nyah!
Though, it is embarrassing that a lv 10 Maril speed ties with Hypothesis at lv 11…

Alright, grinding time. Oh joy! At least this time I only need to get 4 Pokemon up to level 14 instead of 7. Actually, make that 3; Technician is in that odd group of Pokemon that levels up insanely quickly before level 50, then insanely slowly afterwards. Since she’s going to be soloing Roxanne, I’m going to have to be careful to not severely over-level her.
*a while later*
Alright, Big Banks has learned Sand-Attack. Getting there now…
*guess when? Yeah, later*
Hypothesis finally learned Bite, which is a godsend since Tackle was becoming woefully underpowered, especially with everyone and their mother using Growl.
*later still*
FINALLY all done grinding! Next up is Roxanne and her cronies. I got one warning for you Roxanne; Technician is coming for yah!

Well no surprise, but no matter how many Geodude her lackeys threw at Technician, it didn’t really matter. 4x weaknesses will do that, especially when you’re outleveled. Unsurprisingly, Technician shot up two levels thanks to them, so it’s now the same level as my others. Roxanne should be no trouble, between Leech Seed and Bullet Seed.

First up is her Geodude. I’m thinking just one Bullet Seed should do the trick.
*Bullet Seed OHKOs, Technician levels up yet again*
Booyah! Alright, now for the real fight. Her Nosepass won’t go down so easily, so the first order of business is to use Leech Seed on it.
*Leech Seed hits, but so does Rock Tomb*
Rock Tomb didn’t do a lot, but it was still more than Leech Seed can heal… So what do I do? Why, I paralyze it of course! Stun Spore!
*Stun Spore misses, it hits back with Rock Throw*
…. Annoying. Let’s try again…
*It hits this time, but so does Rock Throw*
Goddamit, does this thing ever miss? Well in any case, it’s time to use the other seeds I have available to me. Bullet Seed time!
*Bullet Seed only hits 2 times, does small damage. Rock Tomb hits AGAIN*
Cmon, give me a miss or a FP already. This is starting to annoy me by the sheer lack of hax. Why is it that it always works for the computer, but never for me? Geeze… Well, one more time!
*Roxanne uses a Potion, Bullet seed hits 3 times taking back below half health*
Well that gave Technician some time to heal up via Leech Seed at least. Not much more now and it should go down…
*Another goddamn potion, another goddamn 2 hit Bullet Seed*
Ok this is starting to annoy me now.
*Bullet seed takes it down into Leech Seed range, which finally finishes it off*
YES! That wasn’t as easy as I expected (Nosepass never is…) but it’s done now and I didn’t even have to use a Potion or anything! Boulder Badge and TM39 Rock Tomb obtained!

But wait, the chapter isn’t quite done yet! That Team Aqua grunt has struck again, and this time, without me there to stop him, he succeeded in stealing the mysterious “Goods”!
Seriously, what the hell are they, these “goods”? You’d think they were contraband or something considering the ambiguity of the name. I bet Devon is smuggling heroin on the side. What else would a bunch of criminals want with it otherwise?

Yeah yeah, I’ll go get your “goods” for you. Aren’t you the least bit embarrassed by being the damsel in distress all the time?

Hmmm according to the crazy man who tries to dig large tunnels with his bare hands (seriously, don’t they have pickaxes in Hoenn?) the grunt could startle all of the crybaby Whismur in there. Oh no, we wouldn’t want that, it might annoy him! The horror!

And he’s also taken Mr. Briney’s Peeko hostage! What’s a poor Wingull to do? You know, other than murder the dumbass who tried to take him, being a Pokemon and all.

Yeah your hostage was useless. I honestly think it was holding YOU hostage, not the other way around. Anyway, I think it’s time our Poochyena got reacquainted. It’s going to be pretty much the same story as last time I’m afraid.
*despite its attempts to annoy me with Sand-Attack, Hypothesis makes short work of his Poochyena*

Alright you hooligan, hand over the “goods” and beat it. This is MY turf. In fact, all of Hoenn is my turf. You have until tomorrow to GTFO, gottit? OR BE DESTROYED PUNY HUMAN WAHAHAHAH-
*AHEM* sorry my inner demon got the best of me there. Anyway, I think this is a good place to call it quits for this chapter. Now that I’m all caught up to where I left off in my Nuzlocke (even a little bit further), I can start making fun of everything again without sounding like a broken record! So I’ll be seeing you all next time! Until then, audios!


Wotter the Mudkip

Level 14 – Item: none – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Adamant
Water Gun
Solos: 2 Grass, 0 Electric

Well, so far Wotter has been pretty good. At first I was worried about his Adamant nature, but I realize now that the Mudkip line has higher attack than special attack anyway, so I can just choose to have Ground as his STAB attack (since I can’t take advantage of Water’s super-effective advantages anyway, so it’s not like I’m losing vital coverage). So far in my challange I haven’t had to worry about hitting super-effectively very much, but later it’s going to be a huge pain, along with the BP restrictions. Add that to the fact I won’t be able to evolve it for a long time, and this might be one of the weakest starters I’ve ever had to use.

Hypothesis the Poochyena

Level 14 – Item: Quick Claw – Ability: Run Away – Nature: Sassy

Thankfully, he doesn’t have a neutral nature, so I’m allowed to use HP healing items on him. The good news doesn’t end there; he is able to use Bite right away thanks to the fact he gets both Howl and Sand-Attack beforehand. Finally, he has no limits on his evolution, so it won’t be long before he becomes a Mightyena. The bad news is that he’ll still be a Mightyena who has to either sacrifice coverage or STAB. Thankfully, I think I can probably make some interesting use out of those two status moves and squeak by with less than perfect coverage. It’s not like he’s losing much honestly, as he doesn’t have much for coverage moves anyway. Essentially the good news is that he’ll be like almost like any other Mightyena I’ve ever used. The bad news it’s like every other Mightyhena I’ve ever used, meaning it pretty much sucks. Still, it’s better than it could have been, and unlikely to be my LVP.

Big Banks the Zigzagoon

Level 14 – Item: None – Ability: Pickup – Nature: Timid
Tail Whip
In his Bank: 19150$

The timid nature really screws with Big Banks. Already having a low attack, Timid just makes it terrible. At least his great speed along with Headbutt’s great early game BP and flinch chance, make up for it somewhat. I’m a little bit worried for him in the medium term, since I won’t be able to evolve him until after I get enough money from selling his items to buy two TMs from the game corner… and I don’t know how long that’s going to take. He could be NFE for a very long time, which would make him nearly useless. However, once he does evolve I’m glad to say that I expect to have few problems with him. The after-evolution requirements are pretty soft, so I can pretty much go wild with him after that. Until then though, he’s going to be hard to deal with…

Technician the Shroomish:

Level: 15 – Item: None – Ability: Effect Spore – Nature: Impish
Bullet Seed
Stun Spore
Leech Seed

So far Technician has proven to be a very effective addition to my team, taking out Roxanne and the rest of her gym without much effort. If I had to choose an MVP for this chapter, it’d be between her and Wotter. One interesting thing to note though is how insanely easy it is to train her right now; thanks to her strange experience curve, she levels up so fast at this point that I’m struggling to not over-level her. The problem is that this is going to make an abrupt reversal once she hits level 50, and honestly that makes me dread grinding her for the Elite Four. But that’s a long way off, and for now she’s a beast, who, despite her BP limit, I fully expect to stay a beast. We’ll have to wait and see how it turns out though; maybe sub-seed Breloom without Poison Heal won’t be as good in-game as I hope it will be.

Alright, now that I’ve gotten a hold of the “goods” and have beaten Roxanne, my first order of business is to deli- aha I got you there. No, my first order of business is to get to all the areas I couldn’t get to before because I didn’t have cut! I’ll return the “goods” when I’m done with route 116.

Up here there are just a couple of school kids and some berries. I wonder why all these kids are hiding in the bushes… what are they up to? On second thought, I’m not sure I want to know…

Alright, all done there, now I got to go to route 104 and see what’s the- HEY! Ambushing me like that, I was going to just… oh yeah, the “goods”. I guess you can’t just have me walk away with stuff like that eh?

*after being brought into the building*
Or maybe you can, since now you’re entrusting me to deliver them. How do you know I’m not going to turn you over to the cops? How do you know I didn’t only help you because I didn’t like the look of that grunt’s ugly face? How do you expect to keep me fro- oh you’re going to bribe me with an expensive gadget. Oh alright then, I suppose I’m going that way anyway… *snatches Pokenav and letter and runs*

*on the way out, notices a scientist*
Hang on, that looks familiar… you’re working on a device that visually reproduces the dreams of Pokemon? Why that sounds an awful lot like something from the future now doesn’t it? Man, first a Lass outside of Rock Tunnel describes Munna a half decade before it’s released and now this. Either Gamefreak plans stuff way further ahead than we give them credit for, or there is some freaky voodoo shit going on here.

Oh and May is near the entrance to the city, but she doesn’t really have anything to say. Kind of a pointless cameo…

Anyway, time to go a cuttin’ in Petalburg woods and then go see Mr. Briney so I can start on the next true leg of my journey!

Aha! I got the Miracle Seed from a girl behind the cuttable trees in Petalburg woods, so now Technician gets a nice little power boost. Thank you very much m’lady!

Alright, nothing else of note in there, so it’s now time to go sailing with Mr. Briney! How wonderful it is, sailing the sea on a bizarrely tiny and cramped boat that looks like a Suckle shouldn’t be able to fit on it, let alone two people. Isn’t life grand? And totally incomprehensible?

Well despite the inexplicable mode of transport used to get here, I am now in Dewford Town, full of people so out of touch with the mainland that it’s hilarious. Really, I told this one guy there that “Thick Fat Balls” were the coolest thing in the land and they totally bought it. The entire island is buzzing about how much they love their Thick Fat Ball collections. Tell me that’s not priceless?

But then again, maybe I shouldn’t’ve been so cruel to them… they did give me an Old Rod and a Silk Scarf completely free of charge. Ah well, too late now. Besides, who am I to spoil their Thick Fat fun?

In any case, after bashing a couple Fishermen into oblivion, I can enter granite cave and catch the fifth member of my team (damn 5 Pokemon before I even get the second gym badge, that is odd for a scramble).

Anyway, so after I go in I get HM05 Flash, which I will never, ever be using since it’s only useful inside this cave and I can’t use it until after I defeat Brawly anyway. There’s no way I’m fighting him until I’ve trained up inside this cave, so I see no point in teaching it to anyone. What I will be doing however is catching Tough. Time to go on a Makuhita hunt!

*First Pokemon I encounter is a lv 8 male Makuhita*
*Easily catches it*
Tough, you will soon have your opportunity to prove your worth! Additionally, as per his restrictions, he has to solo every fighting type I encounter (to cut down on unnecessary drudgery, I’m going to limit this restriction to trainer owned Pokemon only)… which means he’s going to have to solo Brawly and his entire gym since I have absolutely no other challenges relevant to it. This promises to be an interesting challenge!

Hmm, he has the ability Guts and a Lax nature. Well, I’m satisfied. Now it’s just time to wander through the darkness of Granite Cave while training on the wild Pokemon there, looking for both items and Steven, killing not two, but three birds with one stone! Unfortunately, there are no trainers or other people beyond Steven and that guy who gave me Flash in there, so I won’t have much to say while I go through it. Sorry people, but you’ll just have to make do with me complaining about wild Pokemon again =(.

*A little while later*
Wooo! Tough learned Arm Thrust! Now he actually has a STAB move to use. Before all he could use was Tackle, since he’s not allowed to use status moves >.<
*More later*
And now he learned Vital Throw, which is nice for the consistent, can’t miss damage. He’s so damn slow anyway that he won’t mind the priority loss.
*ok I’m just going to stop saying it*
Looks like Tough is in the same exp group as Technician is. Great, so when it comes time to face the Elite Four I’m going to have two Pokemon that take insanely long to train. At least getting him up high enough to take on Brawly shouldn’t take long.
Alright, Wotter could have learned Bide, but I wisely said “fuck that” and turned it down. Because Bide is one of the worse moves every invented in the history of Pokemon. You know you all agree with me. RIGHT?
Technician learned Mega Drain over Stun Spore, because I never end up using it anyway, and I still need Bullet Seed for PP. This should help him fulfill his tanking role even better!
Alright, I found an Everstone, which I am promptly giving to Wotter since he just hit level 16 and is now trying to evolve after every level. This should help keep that little annoyance under control. It’s a shame I only have one though, because Big Banks is going to be trying to do the same soon enough >.<
*ok done*
Finally, I reached Steven, who proceeded to natter about random junk until he finally gave me TM47 Steel Wing and left. Unfortunately, since not a single one of my scramble Pokemon has so much as vestigial wings, it is completely useless. And if you don’t know what “vestigial” means, well it means that YOU NEED TO READ MOAR D:<

AHEM anyway, I still got more grinding to do! How exciting for you all. Now you get to hear me complain and report on new moves for another couple hours! What more could you ask for?

*after a particularly annoying Zubat*
GOOD GOD why do my Pokemon always hit themselves when they’re confused? It’s one thing to hit yourself once or even twice in a row guys, but FOUR TIMES just suggests self-hatred. Maybe I need to get Big Banks a counselor.
*A fairly long while later*
Wooo Big Banks found another Nugget. All he was finding was low value stuff; I was starting to get worried. I wonder how much those dang TMs will cost me…
*literally the next battle*
And now Big Banks turned down Odor Sleuth, because that move is totally fucking useless. YAY!
*Soon after, against another Zubat*
OK CMON THIS IS BULLSHIT! Hypothesis’ Bite fails to flinch, Supersonic hits, and then lasts for four turns, and THEN Hypothesis hits himself EVERY SINGLE TIME UNTIL HE FAINTS. The chance of that happening is just… ARG!
*a little later*
Alright, now it’s Hypothesis’ turn to pass up Odor Sleuth. Funny how both of them learn it at the same level.
*later still*
Another Nugget =)
*done saying “later” again*
Ok, it’s official. Supersonic is the single most fucking annoying move in existence. Confuse Ray you say? Attract? Hell no, part of why this piece of shit is so annoying is because it SHOULDN’T be working as HALF as well for your opponent as it does. AND YET IT DOES. I want to take every Zubat is existence, shove them all in a meat grinder, turn it on, then piss on what comes out and feed it to school of hungry Basculin. I am that pissed. Yes, a lv 8 Zubat just haxed Hypothesis to death via Supersonic. Again.
What’s this? Yes! Yes it is happening! Hypothesis evolved into Mightyena! Huzzah! My first evolution of the challange! It would be the second, but Wotter can’t evolve for half a century so yeah…
Alright, finally everyone is at lv 18 now. I’ll get Tough to take on Dewford gym now. This will be interesting… at least Tough will get a couple levels from fighting his lackeys.

*against the first trainer’s Meditite*
Wow, confusion manages to confuse Tough who then hits himself in confusion. 5% chance of that happening people. I bet he’s going to lose this match even if I use my Potions on him…
*he hits himself in confusion again*
Wonderful. Thankfully it used Bide, giving me time to heal…
*Amazingly, Tough pulls through and wins, though it costs me two Potions*
Man I am so glad Brawly doesn’t have a Meditite in Sapphire… I’d never win otherwise.

*after easily defeating a Machop, the final lackey appears… with multiple Meditite*
I swear, Meditite were made just to mess with Tough’s challenge. Let’s see if I can get him through this…
*Tough levels up after first Meditite, learns Fake-Out*
Sweet, that’ll be cool to use.
And now Tough is at 7hp and confused…. *sigh* more Potions.
*Second Meditite is KO’d shortly after the use of a Super Potion*
Alright, now there’s just a Machop left over. I’m amazed Tough got through all these Meditite without fainting…

In any case, it’s time for my first real challenge of the… challange. Brawly will not go down easy and my healing supplies are limited. What worries me the most is that his Pokemon have Bulk Up, while Tough has nothing to counter it. I can’t even really afford to set up with X items, because his Pokemon will set up faster. I think it’s going to come down to me having to hope for lucky Arm Thrusts… let’s see how it goes!

*Brawly leads with Machop*
Alright, time to make use of Fake Out!
*it does only a small amount of damage*
Not much but it will likely help. Time to hope for the best and Arm Thrust to victory!
*Arm thrust hits twice, Karate chop does around 1/3 to Tough*
Well that did bupkiss! If I get haxed to a loss because of 2 hit Arm Thrusts, so help me…
*Another 2 hit Arm Thrust, Karate Chop brings Tough into KO range*
Goddamit…. I have no choice but to use a Super Potion. I only have 2 of these I can use, as the rest are to be sold as part of Big Bank’s challange.
*Karate chop brings tough back down to low, then it uses Seismic toss to put me in KO range again while I get ANOTHER 2 HIT ARM THRUST*
Ok, I’m pissed now. I’d use my Super Potion now but I’m sure he’s going to heal, so I can get in a free Vital Throw here.
*Brawly’s Super Potion brings his Machop back to full health, while Vital Throw is a 3HKO*
Goddamit, thanks to terrible luck with Arm Thrust I’m not even going to make it past his first Pokemon! This is so goddamn frustrating! Another Super Potion I suppose… my last one.
And now I’m out of Super Potions… and in KO range of even Seismic toss. Seriously, the RNG gods hate my guts.
*Tough goes first (I guess it must be a speed tie, since before Machop went first) and miraculously KOs with arm thrust despite being in KO range himself*
ABOUT TIME. Of course, Tough still doesn’t have a hope in hell of beating his Makuhita at 15 hp and ordinary Potions won’t do nearly enough to make a difference… still, it’s my only shot.
*Makuhita uses Bulk Up as I heal*
Well fuck.
*Arm Thrust hits twice, doing pitiful damage. It Bulk Up’s again*
Yup I’m fucked.
*3 hits with Arm Thrust whittle away a bit more off its health, while it uses Knock Off for some reason*
That Knock Off did ONE damage to Tough. Maybe if he keeps playing stupid I’ll have a shot… I didn’t even have an item equipped for him to knock off!
*OHKO’D by opposing Makuhita’s Arm Thrust*
No revives… *sigh*. Wait a second… from other people’s challanges where they had to solo all the Pokemon of one type, I remember them being allowed to use other Pokemon once they faint. MAYBE I HAVE A CHANCE AFTER ALL! Go, Technician! Leech Seed!
*Effect spore sleeps Makuhita after two hits from Arm Thrust, Leech Seed succeeds*
*Bullet seed hits twice*
*twitch* at least it’s still asleep.
*Brawly uses another Super Potion, Bullet Seed continues to do god-shit all*
Well Leech Seed still gives me the edge… keep going Technician!
*It wakes up and uses Sand Attack*
Unfortunately for you, you’re already seeded. I don’t even need to hit you anymore to win!
*Bullet Seed still hits, brings it into the red, just short of Leech Seed KO range, while Arm Thrust causes it to get Poisoned, causing it to faint afterwards from the combined residual damage*
WAHAHAHA that’s the issue with multi-hit attacks vs contact effect abilities! You’re almost guaranteed to get it activated! And just like that, victory is mine! I officially love you forever Technician, you took those +2 Arm Thrusts like a total boss!

Well Brawly, that was a real fight! Congratulations on giving me a real challenge for once. Thanks for the badge and TM08 (Bulk Up) by the way! I’m sure that I can get some use out of it.

Well I think it’s time to call it a chapter. A little bit short, but hey, that’s the way it goes. Remember how long updates were before I started doing this before you start complaining though, alright? :P Until next time, audios!


Location: Dewford Town
Badges: 2
Pokemon: 5
Blackouts: 0 (I forgot this little section last time! Shame on me!)

Wotter the Mudkip

Level 18 – Item: Everstone – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Adamant
Water Gun
Solos: 2 Grass, 0 Electric

Wotter’s oath against using super-effective attacks is starting to really bug me, since it currently means he has nothing to hit Rock types neutrally with, making him utterly useless against Pokemon he should be dominating. Aside from that he’s doing alright, but his Adamant nature is really starting to show, with his Water Gun being quite weak. Despite this, it’s still his strongest move, so his power isn’t really great. At least he doesn’t crumple under every attack he gets hit by. Still, I can’t wait until I can get him some better moves, and more importantly, just finally evolve him.

Hypothesis the Mightyena

Level 18 – Item: Silk Scarf – Ability: Intimidate – Nature: Sassy

I actually haven’t used him at all since he evolved, so I don’t know how powerful he’s really become. He is probably my most powerful member now in any case, being the only evolved one. But even before he evolved, he was doing pretty good. While Bite isn’t exactly super powerful, it does the job quite well and the flinch chance is awesome, even if he is as slow as molasses. However it’s becoming painfully clear how susceptible to confusion he is… high attack and low defense means he hits himself harder than his opponent can most of the time.

Big Banks the Zigzagoon

Level 18 – Item: None – Ability: Pickup – Nature: Timid
Tail Whip
In his Bank: 34220$

Big Banks continues to do fairly well, and his lack of power hasn’t become pronounced yet despite the fact his defenses are actually higher than his offenses (seriously, chew on that for a moment). He continues to be a flinch haxing machine with Headbutt, with only Headbutt’s low PP holding him back. I really, really hope that he picks up enough cash to buy those TMs before I’m ready to solo the trainers in Wattson’s gym with him, because I dread to think how useless he’ll be if I have to keep him as a Zigzagoon past Mauville.

Technician the Shroomish:

Level: 18 – Item: Miracle Seed – Ability: Effect Spore – Nature: Impish
Bullet Seed
Mega Drain
Leech Seed

Technician continues to impress, being quite bulky for at this point in the game with a bevy of healing options to keep him going. Bullet Seed is looking quite weak these days, but along with Leech Seed it’s enough to wear down opponents effectively. Effect Spore finally did something useful in that battle against Brawly’s Makuhita. I don’t think I could have won that fight without it. Overall, I’d have to say that Technician is my current MVP, since I can almost always rely on her to take out anything I really need taken out. You go girl!

Tough the Makuhita

Level: 19 – Item: Quick Claw (note, I did not have this equipped for Brawly) – Ability: Guts – Nature: Lax
Arm Thrust
Vital Throw
Fake Out

So far Tough has been a mixed bag. He hits alright, and can take a couple hits thanks to his HP, but his low speed and defenses mean he gets worn down quickly. Additionally, Arm Thrust is mighty unreliable, as proven in his fight against Brawly. It’s a damn good thing I realized I didn’t have to do the whole thing with him once he fainted, otherwise I don’t know how long it would have taken. Tough will be the next member of my team to evolve since he has no restrictions on his evolution and does so at level 23, so I expect to see him have a surge in usefulness soon. One thing I’m grateful for is that auramaster forgot to specify when I had to do that Tough contest, so I can wait until I get the moveset I want to keep before I do it. I don’t expect Wattson to be difficult, between Guts and having a bit of a type advantage. The contest will almost certainly be more challenging.

Alright, time to hop on Mr. Briney’s toy boat (that must be equipped with a shrink ray, seriously) and head off to Slateport! Or more accurately, Slateport’s beach, since apparently they blocked off the way to their actual port with rocks. I wonder whose bright idea that was.

Anyway, there are a few trainers on this beach to smush, so I’ll do just that.

*talking to a little kid*
Oh some… Sand? Thanks…? Wait a second, this is Soft Sand! That’s great! Once Wotter evolves, this will definitely be his item of choice.

Hypothesis utterly wrecked these trainers out here, evolving certainly had an effect on his power. Anyway, now I got that taken care of, now it’s time to take on the Seashore House and get my hands on a six pack of Soda Pop! Lord knows, I could’ve used that against Brawly.

Beauty (after defeat): “That’s hot!”

*ahem* anyway, got my Soda Pop, but not before hearing 6 strung together puns on the word “hot” which I didn’t think was even possible.

Now I can explore Slateport, which is always fun yeah? Let’s see what’s here…

Man for such a large market there sure isn’t a lot of stuff to buy here… vitamins and a few dolls. Totally (not) worth my time!

Blah blah blah, all anyone talks about is the sea… I get that it’s pretty awesome, but it gets pretty boring pretty quickly. Not much to make fun of for me…

Captain Stern isn’t at the shipyard so his lackey is sending me off to go look for him *sigh* why can’t you just take them for him? I mean you work for him don’t you? Is this shit really that sensitive? Now I’m starting to get real curious…

Ah, the Pokemon Fan Club, eternally filled with annoying people, but as usual I get something out of my time I spend here, this time in the form of a Soothe Bell… though right now no one needs it. So it was a waste of time this time. Greeeaaat…

The Name Rater is here too, but no need for me to use him. Is there anything worth my time in this damn town? Can’t use the contest hall, nothing in the port again… yeah nothing. I guess I’ll just head to the museum now, it’s the only place left…

WOAH it’s completely full of Aqua grunts, including the one I smushed back at Rustboro, who gave me TM46, Theif… all the while implying that it was ME that was doing the thieving. Moral dissonance much?

Well none of them seem to be doing much on the ground floor… upstairs I go then! AHA! Captian Stern is up here! Now I can finally deliver these goods and mo- Goddamit ambushed again! This time it’s a couple Aqua grunts. Well I guess I’ll just have to smush them too!

*does so with ease*
Alright you lot, now scram. Me and the captain have business to get to- OH WHAT NOW! Archie eh? Well your plan to expand the sea is also known as “global flooding”. It kind of kills shitloads of people, so no, I don’t agree with it. Now get out of here before I smush you on principle. Yeah that’s right, run like a little bitch.

Anyway, where were we captain? Ah yes, here are the Goods. I’ll be heading back to Devon Co. for my reward now, thanks!

*a few minutes later*
BOOYAH the exp share! That will definitely come in handy at some point, it always does. One of the most useful items ever. Anyway, now I can finally move onwards towards Mauville. Route 110, here I come!

Ah, some Electric type solos for Wotter here! Take out that Plusle and Minum! Hmmmm they don’t seem to actually have electric type attacks beyond Thunder Wave, but being FP’d FOUR TURNS IN A ROW is not helping. Well after the Plusle, Wotter went up a level and declined to learn Foresight. Now I just have to defeat Minun… I’m at half health from numerous Quick Attacks. Thanks to the insane parahax I’m experiencing, I might need to bust out a Potion. *is indeed forced to do so*
Annoying… 25% chance of FP my ass. More like 80%. Well he managed it any case. Two to the tally!

I’m going to check out the east side of Route 103 while I’m here too, I think I’ll be able to get a few more solos around here.

*Aroma Lady has a Roselia*
Well this will be a challenge… alright, go Wotter! Mud-Slap the hell out of it!
*Mud-slap ruins its accuracy so much it doesn’t even touch Wotter*
LOLOLOLOL so much for challenging! Another to the tally, and now Wotter is becoming more and more overleveled. Now lv 20… but it’ll be worth it to have him evolve!

And unfortunately, that was all that was available to me on this route. Just a few trainers without electric and grass types, some berries and that was it.

Now for the next bit… the Trick House! I should be able to pick up a few more grass solos in here too if I recall correctly…

I love how he just spontaneously decides that yes, I do want to take his challenge, no, he isn’t going to wait for my answer. I wonder if he’d just wait at the end of the passage forever if I just decided to leave instead of doing it…

But I am going to do it, so here we go! This Lass has an Oddish for Wotter to Mud-Slap into oblivion! Here we go again!
Dang it managed to Poison Powder Wotter. I’ll heal him up after the fight; so far it’s actually going quite well.
*Wotter easily manages it*
Good stuff! You are a boss Wotter!

These cut trees are the lamest “puzzle” ever. It’s just a maze with damn trees that slow you down and make it take forever. There’s no thinking to it…

Aha, this Lass has a Shroomish! I can’t really use mud-slap on it as well as the others, so Tackle it is. Good luck Wotter!
*A bit later* Goddamit, he got worn down by Leech seed, and paralyzed by Stun Spore… He’s so close to finishing it but so far. I can’t risk a FP… another potion *sigh*.
Oh come on, this is taking forever! This Leech Seed is killing me! Between it and absorb, it’s healing as fast as I can damage it!
*uses Soda Pop*
AND NOW HE CRITS TOO FFS! That’s it, heal swapping time. It still counts…
*Another Soda Pop and a Parlyz Heal are used while Hypothesis stands in*
Alright, go back out… STOP USING ABSORB ARRRRG! It doesn’t do much damage but it keeps healing it!
*After switching back in gets a 3HKO without Leech Seed fucking things up*
GOD that was annoying. Used so many supplies there…

Anyway, finished the maze and got my Rare Candy prize, plus 2 more to the tally for Wotter. Now, time to continue on my way to Mauville!

Alright, an Electrike for Wotter to Solo. I just really hope it doesn’t have Spark yet… I don’t think it does at lv 14. Well, Water Gun is a 3HKO so I should be ok…
*Barely gets scratched*
Wooo one more! You’re doing great Wotter!

Alright, my first real battle with May is up next. I hope Wotter can handle her Grovyle…
Goddamit, Burn hax via Ember let her beat Technician with her Numel… though to be fair, I shouldn’t’ve been fighting her Numel with Technician in the first place. She was doing pretty well though! Bah, oh well, doesn’t really matter. Big Banks came in and finished it off. Alright, now for the real challenge… lv 20 Grovyle vs… a lv 20 Mudkip. Fuck. MUD SLAP MUD SLAP!!!!!
*Wotter cannot take Absorbs from it at all, Tackle does god shit all*
Why won’t it miss! I’ve hit it with Mud slap 4 times! COME ON RNG I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW!
This just isn’t fair! Not even remotely fair! Even after an X Attack tackle is still a 3HKO, and that’s assuming Absorb misses which it won’t despite FIVE MUD SLAPS
*FINALLY I get some luck and Absorb misses 3 times, allowing Wotter to KO it*
I cannot believe I just did that. I JUST BEAT A LEVEL 20 GROYVLE WITH A LV 20 MUDKIP. BOOYAH!
So I had to use 4 potions, 4 Soda Pop and an X Attack. I STILL DID IT! And it counts as an additional solo for Grass types (because I say so damn it!). I am so damn glad I won’t have to do that again…

And in commemoration of my insane victory, she gives me the wonderful Itemfinder! I’m going to backtrack a bit and find a few items as I wind down from that… and restock on healing items.
*A bit of relaxing beach combing later*
Ok, now I’m ready to head out again.

*Against a random Oddish, Big Banks hits level 20*
Big Banks is evolving!!
*Presses B button*
I hate you too King Serperior :D (jking… maybe. :P)

Alright, Wotter gets to do two more Grass solos vs this Pokemaniac. Hopefully this goes a sight better than that battle against Groyvle…
*Lombre is wasted*
Alright, Nuzleaf next.
*Nuzleaf is wasted*
Alright, good stuff. That’s 8 grass types down. Just two of those and 7 electric types to go.

Alright, and now I finally reached Mauville city! Now I can see just how much I’ll need to buy Big Banks those TMs at the game corner. But first, it’s time to look around town and see what’s what!

Oh, how nice, this random guy gave me the Rock Smash HM just out of the blue for no reason whatsoever! Why? Who the hell knows, Sapphire isn’t very creative about how you find HMs.

Oh, this poor girl happens to need some Harbor Mail, which I happen to have right here, and wants to trade it for a Coin Case! What a wonderful coincidence! I totally did not remember this from previous play-throughs and come prepared, oh no, it’s a twist of fate! Totally!

And what do you know, I also get a Mach Bike for free as well, just for talking to people! Gamefreak REALLY didn’t want to think hard about how to hand out items in this game, did they?

Oh, look Wally is here! And he wants me to smush his Pokemon for him! Why, I’ll happily oblige. Well, really he wants to show his Dad he’s ready to take on Watson, but we’ll be showing him that he is only good at getting smushed. It’s all I know how to do, sorry. SMUSH SMUSH SMUSH!
Wally, your Ralts is over there. Yeah, that green smear on the ground. You might want to see someone about that.

Alright, now it is time to check out the Game Corner, and see how much I need to get those TMs… 1500 for Double Team, and 4000 for Thunderbolt… 5500 total… alright how much is that in normal money? 10000 for 500 coins, so 10000 times 11 is… 110000 Pokedolars. Goddamit, I’m less than a third of the way there! I’m going to have to grind against weak Pokemon for a while if I want to evolve Big Banks any time soon… *sigh* oh well, later. For now I got several new routes to explore!

First, to the tiny spit of land that is 118… well the side I can reach anyway. There are a coule solos in it for Wotter here!

This Aroma Lady has a Shroomish and a Roselia… Well, here goes nothing.
*Stupid thing has Mega Drain, so I’m forced to use Super Potions again*
Goddamit, why does Mud-Slap not work but his Paralysis work? RNG I HATE YOU.
*Heals paralysis, but is paralysed again despite it being at -5 accuracy*
……. Bullshit.
*After a while, Wotter finally manages to take it down*
Awesome… now Roselia. And I’m paralyzed. Shit.
*It uses Growth as I Mud-Slap once, FP’d once. Next few turns I get FP’d twice more*
Ok, seriously. It’s supposed to be 25% chance. NOT 60+!
*Wotter manages to KO it before taking a +4 Absorb*
Whew… that had me worried. Goddamn hax… The good news is that now he doesn’t have to Solo any more Grass types until he evolves. The bad news that after he does evolve, he has to solo 5 more, but now with a 5x weaknes… I need to get him Ice Beam.

Alright this Gutarist has a couple Magnemite… Wotter, do your stuff!
*Water Gun is a 2HKO on them*
Thank lord, I doubt Wotter can take their Thundershocks very well.
So that was easy, though sure enough it’s a damn good thing I 2HKO them because their Thundershocks are 2HKOs as well. On a side note all these solos are so overleveling him. He’s at lv 23 now, next closest is 21. But it’s worth it for this.

Well I might as well finish up those solos right now by taking him on Cycling Road. They have nothing but Electric types on there…

Wait hang on, there’s a lass hiding underneath the bridge… I’ve never noticed her before. I have no idea what she uses…
OH it’s not a Lass it’s a Psychic! Just an Abra. I don’t think I’ve ever noticed this one before. How the hell did she get past the gate without a bike? Jedi mind tricks?

Anyway, now for real Wotter is going to smush some Electric types. Just 5 more!
*Stpid Magnemite nearly haxes Wotter to death via confusion*
Dammit that was close! Stupid Supersonic… have I mentioned how much I HATE that move? I’d add the Magnemite to the grinder along with the Zubat, except they’d just break it…

*Wotter takes out two more Magnemite, one through more confusion*
If I start missing out on solos due to Supersonic, I’m going to get pissed. I just need TWO more now… I had better be able to get them!

*Another Magnemite confuses Wotter, but this time it’s a 3HKO with Water Gun*
Oh boy, this is tempting fate…
*Hit itself once but Magnemite only uses Tackle and Sonic Boom, allowing Wotter to KO it*
YAY FOR STUPID AI! Just one more solo! Oh, and Wotter passed up Mud Sport, because, Mud Sport. Sure it might help for a little bit, but once he evolves it’s totally useless.

And while I’m here I find out my Bike is a rolling advertisement, as it apparent says Rydel on it a half billion times. Well that’s one bout of generosity explained. Now you just need to explain the other 20 instances of spontaneous generosity Gamefreak.

Aha, one last Magnemite for Wotter to KO! Finally, after this all that will be left is taking out Watson’s lackeys with Wotter!
*Wotter easily takes it out*
Yes! Now my other Pokemon can catch up a bit! Also, Big Banks got a Nugget for me, which is always nice.

Alright, finished up Cycling Road, now I can go to route 117, and then to Verdanturf town, where there’s a contest Hall for Tough! Of course, I won’t be putting Tough in his contest just yet… his moveset is not one I want to keep for the whole game right now!

*on Route 117*
Oh, there are Wepear berries here! These are so great I’ll just… oh wait no, they’re totally useless. My bad.

Trainer Anna: “I’m with my pretty Jr. student Meg, so I have to do good!*
Wait, pretty? Why would she say pretty? Did Gamefreak really put a lesbian couple in Sapphire? I’m not complaining or anything, it seems a little… edgy for Gamefreak you know?

Anyway, Big Banks got to level 21 and passed up Mud Sport, because, well, Mud Sport. Seriously, why does it seem like half my team learns this useless move?

Ah, there’s a Bug Maniac here who used to be a Bug Catcher. I don’t understand why they decided to make a whole new trainer class for Bug Maniacs… I mean, NOTHING seperates them from standard Bug Catchers except that they’re higher levelled. I mean, what’s the damn point? I guess that they’re adults now or something? Oh whatever Gamefreak, I’m done trying to figure you out…

So, while there Tough was forced to pass up Whirlwind (not that I’d keep it anyway) because of restrictions, but I ran out of trainers to fight before he reached level 23 and evolved. Oh well, I’ll just fight a couple of wild Pokemon before Wattson so he can be evolved for that fight.

Hmmm I just remembered I can do part of Route 111 before I fight Wattson… not much, but the Winstrate family is there. I can take them on and level up Tough! Besides, he needs to solo their fighting types… so before I go into Verdaturf town, I’m going to take this family of cooks on! Go go go!

Goddamit, every last one of their Pokemon holds a damn Oran Berry. This just adds a level of annoying to the battles… *sigh* oh well. I’m still smushing them. Though I overestimated how many fighting types they had, since it seems so far that they don’t have ANY, though I’m pretty sure the grandmother at least has a Meditite. Well that doesn’t matter. I don’t have a counter or anything for Tough, so less is just as good as more.

Ah yes, the grandma does have a lv 18 Meditite… this will be a good challenge for Tough, and he’ll evolve after this battle. That’s fitting, evolving after fighting his arch nemesis, the Meditite!
HOLY SHIT FUCK it almost OHKO’d him with Hi Jump Kick after a meditate! 5 HP left… good lord! Alright, go-go Super Potion!
*Is KO’d from 55 HP*
………. FUCK! It’s in the red too, cmon! I need him to evolve from this dang it, reviving now! Now switching back! Now getting OHKO’d by Hi Jump Kick AGAIN! WTF IS UP WITH GIVING IT HI JUMP KICK AT LV 18!??!?!? Reviving again… oh my god WHY DO YOU NEVER MISS OR USE ANY OTHER ATTACK WHEN I SWITCH HIM IN. I give up… finish it Technician. OMG 2HKO’d FOR REAL? Big banks…. Do it… uhhhhhhg.

That… was terrible. Wtf man, Hi Jump Kick… I’m just going to forget this whole incident.

Anyway, I got the Macho brace, and now I’m going to go heal my poor, poor team. God that was humiliating…

Well on the way to Verdanturf town I had Tough take out a couple wild Pokemon and level up in shame. I can’t believe how badly that damn Meditite messed the team up… Wait… he… didn’t even evolve. It’s at lv 24, not lv 23. I fucked up again, I think I’m going to go huddle in the corner and cry for a while, don’t mind me.

*ahem* anyway after a short cry session, I entered the pretty little town of Verdanturf. Now I’ve got to look around and see what there is to see here.

Well there’s that chick with the Pikachu who tells you how much your Pokemon love you, and surprise surprise, turns out mine like me quite a lot. Who would’ve thunk it eh?

I also vistited Wally’s uncle’s place and found out that it’s his cousins’ boyfriend that is digging at Rusturf tunnel with his bare hands like a madman. I also found out that Wally is still itching to beat me, but of course that’s not going to ever happen, now is it?

On another note, I got TM45 Attract from inside the contest hall, as well as a Contest Pass for later. After that I decided to check out Rusturf tunnel from this side and got amushed by a Hiker who Technician smushed for me, but who was forced to pass up Headbutt since it’s not technician boosted. I headed through a side tunnel in there and came out in an area where some nerd was looking for his lost glasses, which I didn’t find. Instead, I found an entirely unrelated pair of Blackglasses. What an incredibly convenient coincidence! >.> Anyway, I gave them to Hypothesis instead of the Silk Scarf he had been holding, because Bite had just barely been missing out on Kos and this should rectify the problem.

Alright, now that that’s done I think I’m ready to take on Wattson and his Lackeys. First off, Wotter needs to defeat all of the trainers in there by himself, then Tough gets to take on Watson, which shouldn’t be too hard. Both will be able to evolve after this! Alright, let’s go you two!

*First trainer*
Wotter easily took out this Guitarist’s Elektrike, but got paralyzed… and the next Pokemon is a Magnemite, at lv 18 too, highest one I fought yet. This could be rough…
*Amazingly, Wotter does not get FP’d for four turns in a row, and 3HKO’s the Magnemite, despite Thundershock taking him down to 3HP*
Well that was freakin’ close! Nice work Wotter! I guess we should see the Pokemon center before we continue though eh buddy?

*Second trainer*
Lolololol easy peasy, this Youngster’s Zigzagoon was 3HKO’d by Water Gun while it just sat there and Growled at Wotter. I know you have Shock Wave, I just don’t know why you didn’t use it at all!

*Third trainer*
Wotter 3HKO’d his first two Voltorbs and 2HKO’d the third, all with Water Gun. They wore him down a little but he came out of it with a little less than half his health left. Who’s next?

*Fourth trainer*
A lv 19 Meditite… worrysome. Water Gun it to death quickly!
Why do they do that… it’s just annoying.
*Wotter 3HKOs it, taking a Thunderpunch like a champ*
Wooooo! That wasn’t so bad at all! Shame you didn’t level up in this battle though, I’ll have to wait until next chapter to actually evolve you.

Alright now, I have one more thing to say before I challenge Wattson. Why does every last electric gym have a puzzle with both switches and electrified barriers? Sure the electrified barriers aren’t the focal point of Volkner’s gym, but they’re there. Is it some sort of universal obsession of all Electric type trainers or something? I just don’t get it!

Well anyway, Wattson is up next and Tough is ready to go. Let’s get this party started!

*Wattson leads with Magnemite*
*It uses Thunderwave, Vital Throw OHKO’s*
Thanks for the paralysis, you just activated Guts for me! Now everything you have is going to be OHKO’d by Vital Throw!
*Voltorb comes out next*
Oh no you’re not going to blow up in my face. Vital Throw!
*It blows up in Tough’s Face, OHKOing him*
…………………. Screw reviving him, I’m redoing this.

Alright, THIS time you’re going down. And if your Voltorb blows up in my face again I’m going to get very pissy.
*Second verse, same as the first. Voltorb comes out*
Ok, this time I’m using Arm Thrust, hopping that Quick Claw activates…
*Nope, but this time Tough hangs on with 2HP*
WOOOOOO! Alright, bring it on Magneton! I got a Super Potion ready to go, and then you’re toast!
*Tough is critted by Shock Wave and faints*
………. You have got to be kidding me. Ok, take three.

*This time Magnemite opts to use Thundershock, which shows me that even that is almost a 2HKO. I also fail to OHKO with Vital Throw*
……. Goddamn, Tough probably would’ve fainted even without the crit. I think I have no choice but to grind him up another level so he evolves…

Alright, a quick bit of grinding and then I’ll go back. Tough only needs one level so this shouldn’t take long.
*A few minutes later*
Finally, level 24!
*Congratulations your Tough evolved into Hariyama!*
Epic! Now I can get shit DONE!

Ok Wattson, now I’m ready! Prepare to get your shit messed UP! SMUSH HIM!

*Magnemite comes out first*
V-v-vital Throw!
*Thunderwave is used, ensuring utter and total destructions, starting with the poor Magnemite that dared to use it*
Alright! Now Voltorb, this time you aren’t going to be able to finish Tough with your puny Self-Destruct!
*Blows up, CRITS, and yet Tough still survives with 28HP*
Well good news, he lived. Bad news, he got critted and needs a Super Potion to be guaranteed survival against Shock Wave. *sigh* Well, in any case, if that doesn’t show how tough you are Tough, I don’t know what does!
*1 Super potion later*
Shock Wave did about 1/2… hopefully I can take another and strike back with Vital Throw.
*Tough does not take another*

Ok, one more try. Maybe this time if I don’t get crit haxed, I can actually do it.
*Thunderwave, Vital Throw, OHKO, blah blah blah*
Alright, maybe Voltorb will decide to NOT blow up for once. I mean, cmon it does have other attacks and I have seen it use them in previous playthroughs. It’s not like it’s going to use it every single time right?
*It uses Spark and is OHKO’d by Vital Throw*
Wait really? Holy shit, I was totally going to make that into a joke where I got interrupted by an explosion, but I’m not complaining! Now Tough is in great health, so he can easily take on that Magneton! Alright, let’s finish this Tough! Time for one last Vital Throw!
*Tough eats the powerful Shock Wave, but OHKO’s with Vital Throw!*
ALLELUIA PRAISE THE LORD, IT’S ABOUT GODDAMN TIME! Well there we go, thanks for the Dynamo Badge and TM34 Shock Wave! That was about 80 times harder than I expected. Well, I’m done now in any case! Good work Tough!

And I guess that’s it for this chapter, which I think is becoming pretty damn long as it is. So next time, we’ll be Rock Smashing a couple things then heading off to Fallarbor Town! Until then, audios!


Location: Dewford Town
Badges: 3
Pokemon: 5
Blackouts: 0 (Those attempts didn’t count as I *could* have used revive… I just didn’t want to. SHUT UP.)

Wotter the Mudkip

Level 25 – Item: Everstone – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Adamant
Water Gun

Wotter actually did pretty damn well in its solos, and I’m quite proud of him. I still can’t believe I managed to take out Grovyle with it. In any case, now I’m all done with his stuff and he can evolve into Marshtomp soon! After that though he won’t be getting used quite as much for a bit, since his teammates need to catch up. All those solos really ended up over-leveling him.

Hypothesis the Mightyena

Level 22 – Item: Blackglasses – Ability: Intimidate – Nature: Sassy

Evolving really has done a lot for Hypothesis, as now he hits a lot harder and, more importantly, isn’t hit nearly so hard back himself. Intimidate really helps him take hits, and he’s not nearly as slow as he once was so Bite gets more chances to make foes flinch. I haven’t used him since he got his Blackglasses, but I can only imagine they’ll help him be that much more awesome!

Big Banks the Zigzagoon

Level 22 – Item: None – Ability: Pickup – Nature: Timid
Tail Whip
In his Bank: 43820$

Big Banks is starting to feel the effects of his Timid nature, as a lot of his fights are becoming 3HKOs where they once were 2HKOs, and a 30% flinch chance is nice but not reliable. I’m worried about how long it’s going to take to get all the money I need to buy the TMs with which to evolve him… right now, he’s only around a third of the way there. I’m thinking I’ll just end up grinding on Route 102 or the like until I get them. He really needs the extra power from evolving soon, or else he’s really going to drop in usefulness. However, this chapter he did do well, so, for the moment at least, he’s doing ok.

Technician the Shroomish:

Level: 22 – Item: Miracle Seed – Ability: Effect Spore – Nature: Impish
Bullet Seed
Mega Drain
Leech Seed

Technician is still doing very good, and she evolves next level too. She’s still able to take most of what gets thrown at her, though her bulk is becoming less and less as time goes on simply because her foes are getting stronger. Despite this, she continues to be indispensible to my team, especially thanks to Leech Seed which not only helps her but her teammates too. Once she evolves, she’ll actually gain some power as well, so I can’t wait to see how she turns out.

Tough the Hariyama

Level: 25 – Item: Quick Claw – Ability: Guts – Nature: Lax
Arm Thrust
Vital Throw
Fake Out

Let’s face it, Tough got smacked around a lot this chapter, but to fair this mostly wasn’t his fault. That that Meditite got High Jump Kick so early in the game was ridiculous, especially considering it had +1 Attack and Pure Power. As for Watson, Selfdestruct always screws with everyone, and Magneton has an insane base 120 Special Attack, so those Shock Waves would wreck just about anything not resistant to them. Once he evolved though, he handled it with ease (cmon, if not for that ridiculous crit on Selfdestruct he would’ve done it the first time). I expect him to start doing much better in future chapters. How that he’s evolved, he’s ready to kick asses and take names!

Alright, now that I’ve beaten Wattson the first thing I need to do is find someone to teach Rock Smash to. Since I don’t really want to give such an utterly useless move to any of my mains, I’m going to find an HM slave to use it… Thankfully I caught a Lotad early on for just this purpose! Alright he-
…. It doesn’t learn it? But I was sure…
*looks it up*
Oh, its evolution learns it… well I guess that means I got some exp. Share training to do. Maybe I’ll get a few items for Big Banks while I’m at it… Oh, and I just remembered that I forgot to pick up a TM at the Contest Hall in Slateport, so I should head down there while I’m at it.

*a few minutes later*
Alright, I got TM41 Torment and a Pokeblock case for my trouble. Had I known the TM in question would be so useless, I would not have bothered, but ah well, just the way it goes. One weird thing that you can do here though is walk onto the stage during the middle of a contest and chat up the Judge and contestants, and for some reason no one even bats an eye. That just seems a little… odd, don’t you think? I could totally be bribing that judge you know…

Anyway, Lotad still needs a few more levels to evolve, so I’m not done quite yet…

*a few minutes later*
Alright, he evolved, Hypothesis went up a level, and unfortunately Big Banks didn’t find a single item. Well, in any case, now it’s time to go SMASH SOME SHIT UP WOOOOOOOO!
*Teaches Lombre Rock Smash and heads for Rusturf Tunnel*

Alright, it’s time to break down this blockade, hopefully collapsing the tunnel and killing everyone inside in the process. Oh wait, no, hopefully NOT killing everyone, yeah I got that backwards. Honest mistake!
*Smashes one of the rocks*
Ohhhh hey! This guy gave me Strength for doing that! How nice of him eh? Not that I can really use it yet, but hey I’ll take it. I don’t think I’ll be teaching anyone it yet though… it’s not an amazing move and replacing HMs isn’t exactly straight-forward.

Anyway, now it’s time to explore another section of route 111! It’s an odd Route this one, absolutely enormous, but you only get access to it a third at a time. Actually, the second time you actually explore it in two chunks, with Route 112 and the Fiery Path inbetween… those are on the docket too now!

Oh hey, it’s those stupid reporters that double battle you! I’ll fight them I suppose, but I’m not giving them a damn interview. I don’t have time for their silly bullshit, yah hear me?

Anyway, that was easy. Let’s see what else is here.

Male Camper: “When I see a trainer with a lot of pep, I can’t help looking.”
Wait, looking at what? Is pep… pep is code for package or something isn’t it. PERVERT!

Alright, got away from him, now to explore Route 112… OH CRAP ANOTHER ONE!
*proceeds to smash all the trainers on the route into the ground*

*after smashing a couple campers into a bloody pulp*
What’s this? Oh, oh it’s happening!
*Congratulations, your Technician evolved into Breloom!*
*Technician forgot Bullet Seed and learned Mach Punch!*
:D :D :D

On the other side of the spectrum though, Big Banks is really starting to fall behind. Heabutt is becoming a 3-4HKO on most trainer owned opponents, and defensively Zigzagoon in general have much to be desired. I think I am going to have to do some item grinding soon...

Oh there a couple of Aqua grunts blocking the way to the cable car. I guess I’ll just battle them and get them out of my way then!
Wait what? I can’t do that? Why not? I can do it other times, what makes now different? Give me some explanation at least! Stupid game...

Guess I have no choice but to take the detour through the Fiery Path. Another cave with no trainers in it... strange how there are so many of those in Sapphire compared to other Pokemon games, and additionally these aren’t caves off in remote corners of the map we’re talking about, but ones you have to go through to progress in the story. I can think of one other cave that fits that description right now in all of Pokemon, and though I’m probably missing something you have to admit it’s odd.

Well there isn’t much to see here until I get Strength, so I’m just blowing through it and popping out in the other side of Route 112. There are some berries out here but not much else, so now it’s time to emerge on Route 111 again. Man this route is huge...

And here we are, yet another random person giving me something valuable for no discernable reason. This time it’s TM43, Secret Power, which is a really great move that I’ll probably make use of. And since I can buy as many of them as I like now that I’ve gotten one, I can teach it to as many Pokemon as I like as well! It’s a bit of a long try going back to Slateport to buy another, but I’m willing to do it since I need to grind random crap to find items for Big Banks anyway.

Anyway, this particular one is going to get used on Wotter, who desperately needs a better physical attack than Tackle and Mud-Slap. I’d use it on Hypothesis, but he can’t learn TMs until I run into May again and have him smash her. Tough will benefit from it too so he’ll be getting one once I get to Slateport... I’ll buy an extra one for Hypothesis while I’m there, though he’ll have to wait to use it.

But before I head back, I need to heal up a bit, and Gamefreak, realizing this stretch of the game is really fricken long for not having a Pokemon center, put a nice old lady who’ll heal your Pokemon for free! And... she even has a sign advertising it despite the fact she makes no money off it... and she insists on healing you again and again... ok lady, starting to get a bit creepy.

*a little trip later*
Alright, got my Secret Power TMs and now I’m ready to finish off what part of Route 111 I can. Asside from the lower part of the route, there’s also a sandy hill that my Mach Bike can climb... let’s see where this goes!

Hmmm just a random Black Belt and some Secret Power caves. Disappointing. I guess that now it’s time to head into the ashen wonderland that is Route 113. This route is such a cool idea, I don’t know why they never incorporated ash into the game again...

Wait what? Big Banks wants to learn... Pin Missile? Wtf? Last time I checked, that was fur Gamefreak, not porcupine spikes. Well Big Banks can’t really make any use of it anyway so I’ll pass... but seriously, wtf?

*After OHKOing a Youngster’s Linoone with Mach Punch from Technician*
Cmon Big Banks, why can’t you evolve into one of those? Only more bad ass and not as prone to being OHKO’d by 35 BP attacks? Huh? Huh? HUUUUUHHHH????

*ahem* anyway... Technician’s Mach Punch is pretty damn powerful, even without Technician. Base 130 attack will do that I guess. It’s really cool that she can actually deal significant direct damage now as well as indirect damage through Leech Seed anyway.

I decided to make a beeline to the glass blowers house so I could collect ash while exploring the rest of the Route. I definitely need to get my hands on the Yellow Flute, and the Blue Flute probably as well. I do need to grind items for Big Banks anyway, so I might as well kill two birds with one stone!

BAM! Super-unstealthy, blindingly obvious Ninja Boy attacks! I find it funny that there are no adult ninjas in Hoenn... are all these Ninja Boys just playing out their fantasies? Doesn’t explain why they all seem to carry very real katanas with them...
Alright, now that the rest of my team has caught up in level, I can evolve Wotter!
*Congratulations, your Wotter evolved into Marshtomp*
BOOYAH MOTHERFUCKERS! Although there is one rather big issue I just noticed... Wotter is only supposed to have one STAB move, and also one move it shares with Oshawott that is under 50 BP... the issue is that I want its STAB move to be Ground, so as to take advantage of its higher attack stat, and right now the only move he has that he shares with Oshawott is Water Gun... I hope I have enough Heart Scales to rectify this lol.

Good god, all Big Banks has found this chapter are low value Super Potions. SIX Super Potions so far, one Revive, and nothing else. I’m never going to get the required amount of cash at this rate... And that is really worrisome, because Big Banks is really starting to be ineffective right now.

:O I found TM32 Double Team, hidden in a pile of ash! If only I could teach this one to Big Banks instead of buying one from the game corner... *sigh*

Anyway, time to quickly explore Fallarbor Town. I wonder how such a tiny place landed a Contest Hall...

Anyway, Lannette appeared to be working on the PC in the Pokemon Center and invited me to visit her place later. I think I’ll oblige, but not at this precise moment. I still got a couple glass items to make once I’m done looking around here.

Old Man: “In the fields of Fallarbor, we plant seedlings of hardy trees that thrive even in volcanic ash.”
Wait what? Ok, this is a serious research failure. Volcanic ash enriched soil is actually extremely FERTILE to the point where in developing countries thousands of people will live on the slopes of active volcanoes just to farm. You could grow a lot more than hardy trees here old man.

No TM in the contest hall this time, much to my disappointment. Ah well, it probably would’ve been a crappy one anyway.

It seems the local metoer nut has been kidnapped or something by Team Aqua... Looks like I’ll be getting involved with those dumbasses yet again.

I got TM28 from this nice kid inside the Fossil Maniac’s house. The Fossil Maniac himself wasn’t nearly so generous though. And he has the balls to call himself a nice guy! I get free stuff from random farts all the time, why don’t YOU give me free stuff? HUH HUH?

Alright, now to figure out what to do with Wotter. The only moves that fit his Oshawatt move restriction are Water Gun, Tackle and Rock Smash... which doesn’t leave me with much for choice. Mud-Slap or Water Gun must be replaced with something else so I don’t have multiple STAB moves. As for reasonable STAB moves under 80BP, I have three options; Water Gun, Mud-Shot (via relearner), and Dig (via TM). Water Pulse would be an option if I could get it before the 8th gym, but that isn’t the case. I have three Heart Scales, so learning old moves won’t be an issue. So, what’s the optimal set up here? Dig has only 5 more BP than Mud Shot, is a two turn move, has less PP and is a one-of-a-kind TM that I might want to use on someone else, so I’m thinking that’s out. Water gun is clearly the weakest option, but allows me to solve both requirements in one move, allowing me to run more coverage moves. The issue with that is that Marshtomp and Swampert don’t really get much for coverage moves anyway, so it’s unlikely I’d be able to make good use of that additional moveslot. So it seems like Mud Shot is the way to go. Now for the move shared by Oshawott, I’ve already ruled out Water Gun, so that leaves Tackle and Rock Smash. Rock Smash might actually have some use but is an HM move I can’t forget until I get to Lilycove, whereas Tackle is just totally useless, especially when I have access to Secret Power. Well, it’s looking like I don’t have much choice... Rock Smash over Mud-Slap, Mud Shot over Water Gun. I’d get rid of Growl, but then I’d be left with two STABs.

*sigh* This is really not looking good... no matter what I do, Wotter will be useless against dual Rock/ground Types since it literally has 0 moves that hit them neutrally (seriously, not a one. Look it up), and most other Rock and Steel types for the same reason. An Ice Type move would provide the best coverage I can get, but the only options he gets are both above 80BP (Ice Beam and Blizzard), which would deprive him of a strong physical move. But if he goes for the strong physical move, he won’t be able to scratch a large variety of Pokemon due to having to hit neutrally, seeing as the only attacking types he gets are either water OR ground (not both thanks to restrictions), Normal, Fighting, Steel (Iron Tail only), Rock (Rock Tomb only) and Ice. This situation just plain sucks >.<

Well anyway, now it’s ash collecting and grinding time! Fun fun fun...
*a bit later*
WOOOO A NUGGET! I just need like, 13 more of those and I’m good!
*more later*
Man, Big Banks is just terrible now. Headbutt is a 3HKO on a freaking lv 14 Spinda... and Big Banks is level 26! Seriously, this shit just isn’t right!
Yay, looks like I got enough ash for a Blue Flute! Now I need to get enough for a Yellow Flute...
Hrmmmm Swagger for Hypothesis? An interesting notion, but playing risky really isn’t my style and Hypothesis doesn’t really have the defence to be able to risk it. No, I think I’m going to pass this up.
Another Nugget! Alright, that’s like, 13000 pokedollars this Chapter. Out of 110000. Oh yeah, this is going to happen soon...
WOoooooOOOooOOOooo Yellow Flute! Alright, that’s done! I got a fair number of items for Big Banks too, though I think once I get through Metoer Falls I’m going to sit in the Rustboro/Petalburg area and grind items for a while. Big Banks has become completely dead weight, so this needs to change.

But for now, onto route 114! And right off the bat I get given TM05 Roar, and for once an explanation for this generocity is provided; the guy’s Poochyena won’t shut up now and he just wants to get rid of the damn thing.

It looks like I’ll have to come back here once I get surf and Waterfall... I MUST COLLECT ALL THE ITEMS! ALL THEM!

Ahem... anyway, now I get to meet Lannette, who’s a bit eccentric... and a total slob apparently. She gave me an utterly useless Lotad doll, but there wasn’t much other purpose to it. I also was able to collect some Persim berries, which are frequently useful, though less so now that I have the Yellow Flute.

There’s quite a few trainers around here, shame they’re all boring as shi-
*Pokemaniac is punched into the stratosphere by Technician*
Ummm... no one saw that right? Yeah... just act normal
*whistles and casually saunters away, everyone on the route staring at him*

Oh, I like these Kindler’s much more. I wish more trainer classes had wierd type combinations like water and fire...

Finally, I made it into Meteor Falls! I find it funny how brightly lit it looks in Ruby and Sapphire... isn’t it supposed to be a cave? It looks a lot darker when they swap the pallet for the background in Sapphire.

Oh here’s Team Aqua and that meteor freak, Professor Cosmo (nice name). Looks like it’s time to show these general failures what their place is! Let’s go Tou- Wait who’s that?

Team Magma eh? Now there are two of them? Oh hey! Those stupid Aqua grunts shoved their way past me and bolted, saying that they’re headed to Mt. Chimney. Hmmm the leader of this Magma group, Maxie introduced himself to me. They don’t sound as bad... at least they’re against those nutjob team Aqua. I wonder what they’re getting up to with that meteorite?

Bahahaha ok that’s enough of me playing dumb. You all know I’ve played this game like 10 times before, I know all this shit already. It always ticked me off they never showed what scum Magma was in Sapphire, and what scum Aqua was in Ruby. I liked Emerald’s story better, though it still is a Pokemon story, and therefore pretty terrible. Though Black and White actually did a pretty good job...

Anyway, Cosmo is apparently a gullible fool, who believed the Aqua grunts when they said they’d help him find meteorites. Of course they just used him to find one then snatched it. Now I have to get it back for him... oh joy.

Well before that though, I’m going to look around the northern part of Route 115 which leads to Rustboro. There are a few trainers here and a few items, nothing of particular interest.

Well now I’m back in Rustboro though, so I can item grind away! Oh joy, this will be fun...

Well I think I’m going to end the chapter here, since this might take a while and this chapter has already been a few days in coming. By next time, I hope to finally have accumulated enough cash to evolve Big Banks! Until then though, audios!


Location: Route 104 (aka item grinding town)
Badges: 3
Pokemon: 5
Blackouts: 0 (ok, and like 4 resets, but I didn’t HAVE to reset, I COULD have used a Revive…)

Wotter the Marshtomp

Level 28 – Item: Soft Sand – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Adamant
Rock Smash
Secret Power
Mud Shot
Solos: 0/5 for all grass, electric and ice… but they don’t have to be trainer owned ;)

Wotter finally evolved into Marshtomp this chapter, and he has seen a significant improvement from it. Mud Shot deals very respectable damage at this point in the game, and Secret Power provides decent coverage with it. It’d provide much better coverage if it weren’t for the fact I’m not allowed to use super-effective attacks, which brings me to Wotter’s problems. While they aren’t pronounced right now, they will be soon as more varied types enter the fray and the lack of power he has becomes more noticeable. I still don’t know whether to give him Iron Tail, Brick Break, or Ice Beam as his final coverage move in place of Growl. They all have their advantages, but many, many more disadvantages. Seriously, coverage is a massive issue here. At least I have teammates I can use.

Hypothesis the Mightyena

Level 28 – Item: Blackglasses – Ability: Intimidate – Nature: Sassy

Very, very little has changed since last chapter for Hypothesis. He continues to do well, even though he isn’t as powerful as I might like. Still, he gets the job done very reliably for now and I’m satisfied with him for the time being. I can say though that I can’t wait until he gets the chance to solo my Rival and learn some TM moves, as I’m already eyeing a few that I feel would help him enormously.

Big Banks the Zigzagoon

Level 28 – Item: None – Ability: Pickup – Nature: Timid
Tail Whip
In his Bank: 63420$

Big Banks has made the full decent into uselessness now. He can barely 3HKO most targets and has gained maybe a total of 3 points to his attack in the last five levels. Super speed and a 30% flinch chance just don’t cut it when you hit like a pillow and have the defenses of a wet paper bag. As such, my next task is to get that last 47000$ of items so he can finally evolve. Currently my LVP without a doubt, but I’m hoping like crazy that evolving will fix this issue.

Technician the Breloom:

Level: 28 – Item: Miracle Seed – Ability: Effect Spore – Nature: Impish
Mach Punch
Mega Drain
Leech Seed

Oh man, and I thought Technician was cool before. Now she has slightly better stalling stats and an absolutely whopping attack stat to make use of, along with a STAB Mach Punch that she abuses like a boss. Seriously, Technician has blown away all my expectations. Right now she’s pretty much overpowered, able to both hit extremely hard (base 130 attack turns even a 35BP move like Mach Punch into a deadly move) and stall out her opponents with impunity. Effect Spore is just icing on the cake. Tied for MVP right now, with the next one on this list.

Tough the Hariyama

Level: 28 – Item: Quick Claw – Ability: Guts – Nature: Lax
Secret Power
Arm Thrust
Vital Throw
Fake Out

Tough took the rough time he had last chapter and turned it into utter ownage this chapter. Nothing stands up to him between his great bulk and enormous attack. Seeing as I haven’t run into any ghost types yet his Fighting and Normal attack get perfect coverage, and Fake Out is powerful enough that it can take out over half of some trainer owned Pokemon’s health for free, while flat out OHKOing many wild Pokemon. His slow speed doesn’t mean shit to him, because he has so much HP I don’t even have access to items that can heal it all. Tough is just a total boss, plain and simple. The only reason he isn’t the clear MVP is because Technician is on the same team, and both of them are raping so hard I can’t decide which is better.

*Jimera stands in a grassy clearing, surrounded by the bodies of hundreds of low level Pokemon*
*rushes off to the game corner and buys Double Team and Thunderbolt for Big Banks*
*Manic grin*

Well there we go, next level he can evolve. When I was training, I gained a couple levels (and about a zillion speed EVs for my Pokemon) and ended up passing up a couple of useless moves, like Knock Off for Tough. Other than that though, nothing interesting happened. But what do you expect when you’re fighting hundreds of level 4s and 5s?

Well in any case, now that that is finally done, it’s time to take a trip up to the peak of a certain volcano! Finally, the story can continue!

Alright, Magma and Aqua are up here duking it out... blocking off the way to Lavaridge while they’re at it >.>

Good lord, Maxie’s Poochyena looks like it’s on speed or something. If that thing’s legs were moving any faster they’d go flying right off!

Alright, it’s grunt smashing time, on the way to Archie. Let’s see how well Thunderbolt and Double Team serve Big Banks...

Aqua grunt (paraphrase): “Like, if there was more ocean there’d be more habitat for water types and like more places to swim and have fun! Herp Derp Deeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrp!”
Seriously, how stupid can you get? I shouldn’t have to explain why this reasoning is so fundamentally flawed it’s surprising its anti-logic hasn’t created a black hole that would annihilate reality.

Hurr hurr hurr Big Bank’s Thunderboly is proving very useful here, since they use Carvanha and Zubat a lot. This Team Aqua Admin is getting his ass handed to him... by a ZIGZAGOON WAHAHAHAAAA!

Alright Archie, it’s time you got taught a lesson about forcing me to help people all the time. I’ll help people when I feel like it see? And if you force me, I smear your intestines all over the side of an active volcano. So yeah, this is a lesson to yah.

Wait you want to make the volcano inactive? Why am I stopping this? I mean, this shit is dangerous. The rest of your plan is crazy, but this actually makes sense. Meh, who cares. This volcano is in desperate need of an intestine make-over anyway. Prepare to die!
*I put in Big Banks first for some EXP against his Mightyena, but I switch out to Tough afterwards*
Yeah, you’re going to lose this one.
*1 2 hit Arm Thrust and 1 Vital Throw later it faints, Golbat comes out*
Let’s see how Big Banks handles this! Thunderbolt!
*It does 2/3s of his health... with a crit*
.... well shit.
*It misses with supersonic*
Well might as well keep going... more Thunderbolt!
*Archie uses a Super Potion*
*one more Super Potions later, Wing Attack leaves with Big Banks with 2HP*
Ok, enough of this. Finish it off Wotter.
*Wotter easily absorbs its attacks, KOs with Secret Power*
YAY Big Banks levelled up! No, I don’t want him to learn Covet. Anyway, now he evolves at the end of the battle :D. Anway, Sharpedo is next. I bet a Mach Punch from Technician will OHKO it.
And there we go. Alright Technician, now I need you to eviscerate Archie for me. Wait hang on! Big Banks is evolving, and for once I can let him! Maybe you won’t be useless anymore! Hmmm now which restriction do I choose... I think I’ll go all special until I get 10000 in items from Pick Up. That shouldn’t take very long, I might not even have to use him until then. And no, NO FURY SWIPES. Stupidest move ever.

Wait what? Oh cmon, Archie snuck off while I was busy with Big Banks! Goddamit! Well Magma came and thanked me anyway. They don’t give me anything of course though... =(. At least I can snag this meteorite they left behind. I can’t use it, but I bet Professor Cosmo will reward me nicely for returning it.

Heh, thanks to his Timid Nature, Big Banks actually has only 5 points less in Sp. Att than Attack anyway... He’ll make a decent mixed attacker I think.

*a short trip to Fallarbor Town*
Well Cosmo was pretty damn pleased that I managed to retrieve the meteorite for him! He gave me TM27 Return for my trouble! I shouldn’t need to tell you guys that this is a very valuable move here, and I can’t get any more of them until I get all the way to Pacifidlog Town... so I need to be very careful in who I teach this to. Hypothesis is out for the time being, as he can’t learn any until the next battle with May, which is a long ways off. The others who would benefit most are Big Banks and Wotter. Wotter has the negative not being able to use another high BP move if he learns it though, which is extra bad since he loses some of his best coverage in the process. Of course, it could just be temporary, but that’d be a bit of a waste. On the other hand, Big Banks gets much needed power, but loses out on the flinch chance he’s come to depend on. Ultimately though, I still think he’s the way to go. The flinch chance just isn’t reliable enough when compared to always having much more power.

Anyway, time to head back to Mt. Chimney and check out the Jagged Pass on my way to Lavaridge Town. It’s a bit of a walk though... maybe I’ll get some damn items for Big Banks on the way.

*on the way there*
Big Banks found a PP Up! And I can’t even keep it D: At least it sells for good money...

Alright, Jagged Path!
I should’ve brought the Arco Bike, shouldn’t’ve I...

Oh well, I guess I’ll just make a second trip and get all the places I missed the first time on the return trip.

*does so*

Alright, that’s it then... Now it’s time to take a look around Lavaridge I think!
Ohohoho hot spings you say? I wonder what bodacious babes will be hanging out there heh heh heh....
.... OLD LADIES AHHHHHHHHHHHH *scratches eyes out and runs away*

Errrr ahem... anyway, this other old lady wants to give me an egg to take care of but I’m all like SCREW THAT so I don’t take it yo. It’d cramp my style yah know, and also take up a team slot, and I kind of totally don’t need whatever will hatch from it anyway.

This random guy comes and decides to give me a Charcoal, which would be useful indeed if I actually had a fire type. I don’t so it’s totally useless. Yay?

Well all that’s left around here is the gym, which I have the levels to take on right now. However, I think I’d rather wait until after Big Banks can use physical moves as well before I take her on though... I can take out her lackeys in the meantime though! Maybe I’ll get my hands on another valuable item from Big Banks while I’m at it...

Oh man, this gym is full of those damn confusing sand portals or whatever the fuck those things actually are. Annoying as hell these things... ah well, I’ll figure them out. No worse than the damn teleporters in Sabrina’s gym, that’s for sure.

Wait a second, a Kecleon? In a Fire Gym? What is this, I don’t even... and a Meditite? I remembered them doing this in Wattson’s gym too, but I had forgotten that they did it here too... I guess just having a single fire type attack is enough to qualify you as a fire type trainer now =/

Well that didn’t take very long, and Big Banks is still short 4800$ in items. I guess I’ll grind for a short while, just long enough to get that...

*a short while and two Super Potions later*
Ok, you know what, fuck this. I don’t need Big Banks for Flannery anyway... Ok, Flannery, prepare to be shown the meaning of pain!

But first, I’m going to stock up on Lava Cookies and ditch my other status healing items. Having my bad fill up all the time has been annoying, and this will greatly reduce the amount of space all these various “heals” are taking up in my pack.
*a few minutes of buying Lava cookies without paying attention later*
WHOOPS ended up getting 33 of them! Well, no harm done I suppose as even that amount doesn’t cost that much and they’re very useful. I’ll make back some of that cash selling all the heals I have anyway.

Alright, now I’m ready for you Flannery! I’m going with Tough to start, since I think he’ll be best for taking out her Slugma. Her Torkoal on the otherhand has Overheat, and that’s when Wotter will come out and take a couple of them, hopefully being able to work its Sp. Att down a bit for someone with more appropriate moves to finish it off (seeing as Wotter can’t use his super effective Mud Shot thanks to restrictions).

Lol, well you can tell she’s new at this, she changed what she was saying like 3 times before she finally settled on a simple introduction.
Holy scrap she has a rack on her.

AHEM anyway, she’s leading with Slugma as expected. Tough is going to start out with Fake Out, getting him some free damage.
*Fake Out does over half to it*
Lololol ok Secret Power to finish it then. It seems like I won’t be needing the extra power from Vital Throw.
*She sends out her other Slugma*
Alright, Vital Throw now!
*It uses Sunny Day, and is KO’d*
SHIT! Now Overheat is going to hit so fucking hard. Oh shit shit shit SHIT.
Well, go anyway Wotter! You’re my best shot for taking a hit! Use Secret Power in the meantime!
*It uses Body Slam instead of Overheat, Wotter only does around 40% with a crit*
Hmmm maybe some Rock Smashing is on order...
*Body Slams again, Rock smash doesn’t get defense drop*
Damn Wotter is at half health now... Maybe I can at least stall out the Sun?
*BOOM Overheat does a massive amount of damage while Rock Smash fails to lower defense again. Wotter hangs on with just 1 HP. White Herb returns it back to full power*
Ooooo dear. Alright, Super Potion time!
*Sun ends, Wotter takes another Body Slam*
Alright, another Super Potion should get him healthy enough to take another hit.
*Flail hits for tiny damage*
*Body slams again, back into the yellow. Rock Smash fails to lower its defense again*
Ok, screw that. Secret Power time.
*Secret Power puts Torkoal in the red, Flail does the same to Wotter*
Ok... another Super Potion I suppose...
*Torkoal gets healed by Hyper Potion*
FUDGE! Alright, I got a new stratedgy. GROWL WILL BE USEFUL NOW! I will tank you until you cannot hit on either side of the spectrum!
*White Smoke prevents stat loss*
......... Fail. That explains the lack of Rock Smash success... Goddamit, wtf do I do? Secret Power some more I suppose.
*Attract is used on Wotter*
-.- ok that’s just annoying. This isn’t working... Maybe Big Banks can manage something with Thunderbolt? Well in any case, time to sack Wotter. One more secret power?
*Immobilized by love*
Fuck. Alright, go Big Banks! Thunderbolt!
*Does even less than Secret Power did*
Well fuck. Tough, you try! Fake Out first!
*Fake out actually does more than Thunderbolt did*
............................................................. Ok. Vital Throw then.
*Brings it into the red, Body Slamed a second time (first time when switched in), still in good health*
Probably another Hyper Potion coming, so Vital Throw again!
*Vital Throw looks to be a 3HKO*
Alright, I guess I’ll keep going with this then. Again!
*Body Slam paralyzes Tough, putting Torkoal in the Red!*
Well that’ll help! Vital Throw again, I see another healing item coming...
*Flail actually, brings Tough down to less than 25%, but Vital Throw finishes it off*
WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Way to go Tough! You dominated! Alright, thanks for the badge and TM50 Overheat, which is totally useless for me but I’ll take it. Also, I can use Strength outside of battle now. Finally, I’ve just realized that Wotter’s only one move above 80BP restriction is NOT inclusive, meaning I can teach him Strength over Secret Power. Guess who’s getting a minor move set change now eh?

Woah, as soon as I step outside I’m ambushed by May! Thankfully she isn’t looking to battle my weakened team, but instead to give me a vital gift... Go-Goggles! Now I can finally obtain the final member of my team, Relic! She also says that I should go challenge my “dad” now. Norman wouldn’t be easy in normal circumstances, but I have two great Fighting types. I think I’ll be ok :P. But before I do either of those, I have to take a short detour to the Fiery Path, the only area so far I’ve encountered where I actually need to use Strength. I expect that there’s nothing but a couple items there, but hey, there might be something really useful in there so I had better check it out!

*after a bit of strength bolder puzzling inside of the Fiery Path*
:O Oh my god, it’s TM06, Toxic! I should totally give that to one of my more defensive Pokemon at some point... who, or when, I don’t know but... dammit it’s Toxic!
Oh! And while in here I also got another PP Up! Now I finally have 10000$ and Big Banks can finally use that pretty new move I gave him! ‘Bout time.
Only other thing in here is a useless (for me) Fire Stone. Alright, now to check out the other new place I gained access to... the desert on route 111!

Alright, lots of items and trainers here... shouldn’t take too long to explore though, and I suspect Relic shouldn’t take long to find either.
*a bit of wandering and battling later*
Jeeze, enough Cacnea in these parts? They’re the only damn wild Pokemon I’ve run into so far!
And Sandshrew line too! All the trainers here have had nothing but Sandshrew and Sandslash so far!
And just south of a very mysterious rock formation (I still find it hilarious that just north of here is a ruin maniac asking if I’ve seen any ruins around here and there are some not 30 steps away from him), I found TM37 Sandstorm! How very appropriate... and useless.
*After yet another Sandshrew*
OH MY GOD A BALTOY! Only it’s trainer owned. Fuuuuuuu-
*After another trainer with nothing but Baltoy and Sandshrew*
Ah so Wotter wants to learn Take Down? Sorry, too high in BP and I already have Strength. No can do!
Oh a lv 20 Baltoy, perfect! Ok, let’s hope this works... *throws Great Ball*
*Shake shake shake... no click because it’s Sapphire and the click didn’t get added until FRLG*
Woooo caught it! Welcome to the team Relic, though you’re going to be a massive pain to evolve...

Alright, I’m done in the desert now, so I got a bit of grinding to do! Relic needs to catch up in level and Wotter needs a few grass and Electric solos. I can’t do the Ice ones yet though, for what should be fairly obvious reasons (like there being no Ice types at all so far).

*Some time on route 111 later*
There we go, that’s all 5 Electric type solos. Now to Route 117 for some Grass type solos, then I can concentrate on getting Relic up.
*Some time on route 117 later*
All right, now all the Grass solos Wotter needed are done. Just the Ice and he’s clear for this evolutionary stage. Of course, said Ice solos are going to have to wait until Mossdeep city because I’m pretty sure there aren’t any ice types at all until then, but it’s still possible to get them before Tate and Liza so I don’t care. Now, to focus on training Relic, who is really weak as hell right now.
*some time grinding Relic later*
Ah, Ancientpower, as per requirements. It’ll replace Rock Tomb since it pretty much completely outclasses it. Still got another half dozen levels to go though...
*more grinding later*
Alright, there we go level 30 is good enough. Now, it is time to pay my “father” a visit.

First though, I got to battle my way through his gym. I’m going to forgo the whole “choose your path” bit and just fight all the trainers for some further experience. So before I can take on Norman, I got some lackeys to deal with once again!

Bahaha, their different types of “rooms” are so silly... it’s just the same Pokemon over and over using different items... strength room is just X-Attack, recovery room is just Super Potions... LAME!

Well anyway, after having Relic be OHKO’d twice (both times by Zangoose with boosts to attack, to be fair) and being put into the red several times, I finally made it through Norman’s trainers and now I’m ready to take on the old man himself. The strategy here is fairly simple... hit hard and hit fast with Technician and Tough. Hypothesis can also help with Intimidate, should I need it. Hopefully this won’t be too hard...

*he leads with Slaking, I lead with Tough*
Alright, first things first... Fake Out!
*it does a pitiful amount of damage*
.... and this one is three levels lower than Tough... suddenly, I’m worried.
*accidentally hits Fake Out while Slaking loafs around*
GODDAMIT what a wasted opportunity! I did not mean to hit the A button twice there dang it.
*Now Tough gets Encored while attempting to Vital Throw*
......... FUCK YOU! Alright, Technician HAS to come in now. Mach Punch!
*mach punch crits, does only around 70%. Facade does around 50%*
.... shiiiiit!!!! Ok anyway, finish it off now...
*does so Vigroth is next*
Alright, Mach Punch is definitely the way to go with this one.
*Does around 50%, Slash brings Technician down to below 25%*
Alright, good. Mach Punch will finish this one off... then I think I’m going to Intimidate his other Slaking into the ground.
*KO’s switches in Hypothesis to lower incoming Slaking’s attack*
Alright now... who to take the incoming hit... Wotter, let’s see what you can do!
*Slaking uses Focus Punch, does over 60%*
Damn, at -1 attack... well now I can use Growl to lower it another level
*Does so as Slaking wastes some time*
Alright, another Intimidate is in order I think. But to avoid another focus punch... dang prediction game. Well Wotter, I’m going to have you use Mud Shot, just in case.
*Sure enough, Mud Shot blocks Focus Punch and lowers Slaking’s Speed*
Awesome! Alright, another Growl then!
*Now at -3*
Another Mud Shot!
*accidentally double clicks again and uses Growl, Wotter tanks the Focus Punch though*
Dammit, that was friggin close. Well it should be low enough now for Tough to handle comfortably. In you go Tough! I get in for free because of the loafing, and Fake Out will ensure me another free turn!
*Fake Out works like a charm*
Alright, Vital Throw time!
*Vital Throw puts it in the red*
Alright, one more time!
*Hyper Potion brings Slaking back to full health, but Vital Throw is a sure 2HKO anyway*
Booyah! And he’s forced to loaf around this turn too! Victory is within our grasp Tough!
*Tough shows his awesomeness once again, throwing Slaking straight through the wall of the gym and into orbit!*
Well there you go old man, I have proven once and for all that you are a washed up old hack that uses Pokemon with an ability so exploitable it’s hilarious! Now hand over that badge! And... TM42 Facade as well? .... Oh well, thanks I suppose. I think that Tough will be able to make interesting usage of this, combined with Guts....

And Wally’s parents want to see me about something? Well I guess we’ll just have to see what it is next time! :O cliffhanger! A really, really stupid cliffhanger you probably already all know the answer to, but hey! CLIFFHANGER! I CAN TOTALLY DO THEM TO HAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAaaaaaa....

AHEM anyway, until next time people... Audios!


Location: Petalburg gym
Badges: 5
Pokemon: 6
Blackouts: 0 *Still in denial*

Wotter the Marshtomp

Level 31 – Item: Soft Sand – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Adamant
Rock Smash
Mud Shot
Solos: 5/5 Grass, 5/5 Electric, 0/5 Ice

Wotter has proven himself to be more useful than I anticipated, despite being limited in how powerful his attacks can be he does have decent bulk and has proven useful in both Gym Battles this chapter. Really, at this particular point his restrictions aren’t that trying… but in the next couple chapters I expect this to change since he’ll go past the point where he’d normally evolve… and I know from past experience with starters that a middle stage starter is woefully underpowered late game. Well, hopefully he won’t be too much a pain, I only have to wait for two more gyms now…

Hypothesis the Mightyena

Level 31 – Item: Blackglasses – Ability: Intimidate – Nature: Sassy

He’s starting to see the affects of power creep, with him becoming weaker and weaker by comparison. Beyond that, his moves are quite subpar, with Tackle being obviously underpowered. Bite isn’t too bad yet, but it still is far less power than some of the others at this stage. Still, he’s far from useless. Intimidate in particular has proven useful as a method of team support. Furthermore, once he finally gains the ability to learn TMs I’ll be able to do some really interesting things with him I hope. That should happen next chapter, so it won’t be much longer.

Big Banks the Linoone

Level 31 – Item: None – Ability: Pickup – Nature: Timid
Double Team

Well I finally was able to level him, after far, far too much grinding. Thunderbolt is a little weak unless I’m using it against something its super effective against, but it’s still not a bad option. Return, now that I’ve gotten a chance to use it a couple times, is proving vastly superior to Headbutt, being far more powerful than Headbutt was. I still get the impression that he’s underpowered, but only time will tell. Honestly, I didn’t get much opportunity to use him to his full potential this chapter.

Technician the Breloom:

Level: 31 – Item: Miracle Seed – Ability: Effect Spore – Nature: Impish
Mach Punch
Mega Drain
Leech Seed

Well Mach Punch has stopped OHKOing absolutely everything in a single hit. Of course, when that’s your biggest decline in ability, you’re in a pretty good spot. She’s still doing everything as well as I could hope for right now. I am a bit worried for the future though, as options for technician boosted moves aren’t exactly overwhelming. Still, if all else fails on the power side of the equation, there’s always sub-seeding and maybe even Toxic to fall back on. Either way, I don’t expect to have any problem with her in the future.

Tough the Hariyama

Level: 31 – Item: Quick Claw – Ability: Guts – Nature: Lax
Secret Power
Arm Thrust
Vital Throw
Fake Out

Tough is still obliterating everything he encounters. I don’t really know what more to say other than that I am very, very pleased with the way he has been turning out. The key attacker in both this chapter’s Gym Battles, he’s clearly shown himself to be the current MVP. In the future I don’t expect that to change, and I don’t expect him to have any troubles with his restrictions. I haven’t decided for sure on his final moveset, but I don’t expect it to much different than it is now. That Tough contest should be coming up fairly soon!

Relic the Baltoy

Level: 31 – Item: None (until I find something he can actually use) – Ability: Levitate – Nature: Serious
Ancient Power

Well, right now he’s my LVP, but it’s not his fault. The problem is that he’s the only unevolved member of my team, and it shows. Low attacking stats and low defense (though fine Sp. Def) mean that he just plain can’t get the same job done his teammates can. I expect him to improve a lot when he evolves, but therein lies the problem. 10 explosion kills when both statused AND in the red, and only against trainer Pokemon? Those situations just don’t come up often, and when it does happen I’m not guaranteed success either. Like this, I’m not sure when I’ll be able to evolve him. Maybe once the trainer eyes on my Pokenav start lighting up, then I can work on it a bit more, but until then... man, this is a tough one.

And the item Wally’s parents had for me was HM03 Surf. Wait, was I supposed to build up the tension a little bit more first or something? Dammit, I fudged it up! I failed the cliffhanger! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

*AHEM* anyway, now that I got Surf I’m going to teach it to Big Banks. Yes, Big Banks. I told you I was going mixed with him, and I’ll be damned if it doesn’t compliment his Normal and Electric Coverage. I just kind of wish I could get rid of Cut as well so I could give him Flamethrower or Ice Beam or something as well...

On a related note, did you know that Hariyama can also learn Surf? Not that you’d want to teach it to one, what with its awe inspiring base 40 Sp. Attack, but it’s kind of odd don’t you think?

Now, Surf opens up a LOT of new pathways, including many that are completely optional. And yes, I am going to do them all! So get ready for a wild and wacky surfing adventure! Woooooooo....?

First, there’s a few random items to be found by surfing across various small bodies of water, like the ponds in Petalburg where we just so happen to be located. I’ll report on anything interesting I find, but so far it’s all just been rare-ish items like Rare Candy and Ethers. Surely there’s a TM or two in it for me somewhere...

And no, no there isn’t it would seem. Well there is a fairly large area on route 115 that has just become available to me, so I guess I’ll go check that out next.

*does so*
Well up there were a couple of fighting type trainers, including one old dude that used a Hariyama! Thanks to the requirements, Tough had to fight it... but already having taken damage from previous fights, was a little weakened. Still, I was sure he’d prevail, at least until he got hit by a critical Vital Throw >.>

Anyway, aside from that there were some useless berries and TM01 Focus Punch. I don’t know if I’ll end up giving it to anything, but the possibility of a sub-punch set for something is a nice idea to keep in mind.

Next up is a little detour in the Mauville area. You see, Wattson apparently needs someone to go shut off a generator that has being going a little “haywire” (read: about to go all Chernobyl on Mauville’s ass) and he wants me to go shut it down, apparently figuring that if shit goes to hell the world won’t miss one kid and there’ll be one less person who can beat him in the world. I, being superhuman (or maybe just foolhardy) will comply, if only to see the look on his face when I walk out like it was no big thing.

So, now I’m heading through New Mauville, which is yet another area populated solely by wild Pokemon without a trainer in sight. There is, however, a stupid button and door puzzle in here, which exists apparently for the sake of existing, since it makes no sense at all when the place is already locked by the Basement Key anyway, and all it requires to get around it is blindly running over buttons until you figure it out. Oh, and there are also Voltorb masquerading as items here, jus to fuck with you that little bit more. Well whatever. After having Hypothesis skip out on learning Scary Face, I’ve finally made my way to the generator... Now how to shut it off...
*starts mashing random buttons*
Maybe this will do it!
*Alarm sounds*
AW SHIT! It’s going critical! EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE!
Naw I’m just fuckin’ with yah. There’s a blinky red button on the floor you just have to walk on to shut it off. I’m not even going to mention how ridiculous that is. Instead I’m just going to get out of here.

Alright, now that that’s done it’s time for the watery main course. Routes 105 through 109 are now fully available to me, with lots of trainers and items to be found! Across the great sea I go, ridding on my giant ferret thing. I guess I’m going to be getting a little wet.

I’ll be starting on Route 109 south of Slateport and make my way to route 104. Yeah, I’m kind of going backwards, but Rusturf Tunnel means I loop around easily enough.

Skinny ass male swimmer: “See these abs? These are what you call CUT!”
.... your sprite makes you look like you’re skinnier and dorkier than I am. Seriously, take a look.

If that’s “cut” I’d hate to see what slim is.

Man, Relic’s Ancient Power has terrible PP... If I’m going to be carrying it for the whole game anyway...
*Uses PP up on Ancient Power*
Well it has one more use now. Next couple I find are getting used on him too.
Oh, on the topic of Relic, I’m editing his self-destruct and KO the opponent 10 times to evolve while both in the red and statused restriction because that’ll make it so he pretty much never evolves. Instead, he just has to KO 10 trainer owned Pokemon with Selfdestruct/Explosion when below half health. Him needing to self-destruct when in the red and statused still applies, but those exact circumstances don’t have to be present for him to evolve.

*finds another PP UP*
Ooooo well that didn’t take long. One more to max it out!

And now what do we have here? Why, it looks like a 1/10th scale of a luxury cruiser! Except when you step in it it’s suddenly the size of a 3 story building. Seriously, do all the boats in this world include some sort of space compressor or something?

Anyway, I’m going to look around here and see what I can find. I know I won’t be able to explore everything until I get Dive, but I can at least get some of the other stuff that’s here in the meantime!

Man for a place called the “Abandoned Ship” there sure are a lot of people here, especially compared to places like, I dunno, New Mauville. Which is touted as being a part of a major city yet doesn’t have a single living person in it.

Random kid in the ship: “Yay! It’s a ship!”
......... yes. It is.

Hmm there’s this scientist in the final room I can access asking me to find him a “scanner”. I’m guessing that I need to have Dive to get it, but more importantly... Just what the hell is this “scanner”? What does it “scan” and why does this creepy dude want it so badly? Will I be aiding in his evil attempt to take over the world if I give it to him or something? Because I’m not sure I want any part of that. On the other hand, I am sure I want the reward he’ll surely give me in return. So yeah, when I finally do come across it, he’s getting it, the free world be damned!

Also, there’s a storage key in here which opens a door that gets me access to TM13 Ice beam! Booyah, this is a really useful move! The only problem is that I don’t know who to give it to... Wotter could use it for better neutral coverage, which is probably best for him, but he can’t actually use it for its super effective advantages. Big Banks would be good for it if I didn’t need to have Surf and Cut on him. Relic could use it, but would then have to go without one of his STAB attacks... well Wotter can have it for now I suppose. It’s not like Growl will serve him any better, and if I really want to give to Big Banks at a later date I can always get another from the game corner.

Well that’s all that I can do here for the time being... Dewford is awaiting my return!

Female Swimmer: “My liar of a boyfriend told me I looked great in a bikini”

Well that might be because you kind of do. Bad body image much? (I blame Barbie!)

Male Swimmer: “I must have drifted off asleep while I was being rocked by the waves...”
Ummmm you sure about that? Because I’m pretty sure you would’ve drowned by now if that was the case.
Alright, I’ve made it to Dewford. Now for route 106 and 105. There’s a very familiar rock formation there, but we’ll get to that later...

Hang on, there’s a Ruin Maniac out here, in the middle of the ocean, searching for ruins. And there just happens to be one just north of him. Yet he doesn’t realize it’s there. It’s just like it was in the desert! Was this intended to be a source of dramatic irony or something?

Ah, Tough wants to learn Smellingsalt... no. It’s just not powerful enough overall and its bonus of doing double damage against paralyzed foes is pretty useless when I don’t have any method to reliably paralyze them in the first place. So yeah, I’ll stick with my current moveset for now.

*a few trainer battles later*
Alright, there we go! Now there’s only one way left to go, and that way is onwards! Yes, I am finally going to continue the actual story! Huzzah!

*after a short trip back to Mauville*
Oh, Wattson is still here... I forgot to collect my reward! Yeah, I’m still alive you old fart! Where’s that reward you promised me eh? TM 24 Thunderbolt? Well that’ll do I suppose... though I don’t think I can really make use of it.
Yeah, the only team member that can learn it is Big Banks, and he already knows it. Well, thanks anyway...

Well now that that’s taken care of, it’s time surf to the other side of route 118 and continue my adventure. Next stop, Fortree city!

Oh hey, this random fisherman gave me yet another valuable gift for no appreciable reason, this time a Good Rod. Of course I won’t be using it at all, but thanks anyway I suppose. Why are people so strangely generous here?

Hey, it’s those reporters again! Let’s smash them, take their money and refuses to give them an interview again, shall we?
*Does so*

HOLY SHIT STEVEN AMBUSH! Annnd I just told him my name now apparently. I guess I forgot last time.
Well that was pointless. He didn’t really say much of anything...

Well then, I guess I’ll continue. Maybe I’ll get ambushed by professor Birch next.

Before continuing onto route 119, I’m going to check out what little I can of Route 123 first. Let’s see... a berry farm full of useless berries and a couple trainers. The Berry Master and his wife gave me a couple more useless berries, and that’s that. Alright, now route 119!

Oh ho, what’s this? And you thought the stuff on route 2 was tall grass Professor Oak. No, THIS is tall grass! My head barely peaks out above it! No biking through it but that’s alright. I went and got the Arco Bike for this route since I know there’s a few places here I need it to get to, so I won’t be riding around on it for the speed anyway.

Uhhh the people in here are a bit... creepy. They’re mimicking my every move... seriously people, leave the miming to the Mr. Mine.

Hmmm a house full of Wingull... with just one person in it. I can just imagine the amount of bird shit on the floor in here... crazy lady is crazy.

Of course, I jump across tiny ledges using a bicycle, so I guess I’m just as crazy as she is, and a hell of a lot more reckless.

FUDGE! Technician lost to another Breloom that used Counter on him, and then the trainer used a Full Restore so that it could almost do the same to Tough (who was saved by his massive HP). God Counter is such an annoying move...

Hey, there are Aqua grunts blocking the bridge I need to take to move on! They say that the building right here is “unsafe” and that I shouldn’t go in. Yeah, unsafe for YOU! Bwahahaahahaha prepare to get destroyed!

Ah, there’s a bed in here so I can restore my team to full health... though why ME sleeping helps THEM recover is beyond me. In any case, I appreciate it since now my whole team is in peak condition... and I can also backtrack at any time to restore my team again.

*after trouncing a couple grunts and heading upstairs*
Apparently they’re here to take a pokemon that “has something to do with the weather”. I wonder what that could be? *cough*Castform*cough*

Oh, an Aqua Admin eh? Well you’re about to learn that having nothing but Dark types and Zubat lines don’t really do much for an organization. Tough is going to show you a whole new world of pain!

Aqua Admin Shelly: “Ahahahahahaha!” (about 4 times).
Seriously, this girl laughs so much I think it might be some sort of mental disorder.

Anyway, Aqua split and I got given the useless Castform for my trouble. Anyway, time to head across the bridge and surf for a bit, see if there are any items I couldn’t reach before here.
*finds a few minor items*
Alright, now to head to Fortre-

AH MAY AMBUSH! And she wants to battle! Well this is my chance to get Hypothesis the ability to learn TMs. Time for a solo! Unfortunately I have Tough at the head of my party... oops. I’ll just switch in Hypothesis right away. I just hope her Numel doesn’t have anything that’ll hit him very hard.
*Take down does little damage*
Alright, going to Howl now, set up a bit.
*Is hit by a weak Ember*
Ah... I shouldn’t risk getting burned. I guess I’ll just go on the offensive right now. Biting time!
*2hkos Numel with Bite*
Alright, Groyvle is next... Bite some more!
*Groyvle outspeeds and does decent damage with Leaf Blade, but is 2HKO’d thanks to a critical Bite*
Whew... alright, Wailmer next. Hypothesis is low on HP so I’m going to use a Super Potion on him now just to be safe.
*Accidentally uses bite instead, takes a Water Pulse which confuses and puts Hypothesis in the red*
OK whoops. I could KO it with Bite but I’d be flipping a coin thanks to the confusion. Instead I think I’ll opt for a Full Restore...
*Hypothesis takes less than 20% from Water Pulse*
Alright, one more Bite for the win!
*Wailmer is KO’d*
Wooooo! Victory is mine! Hypothesis can finally learn TMs, starting with Secret Power as soon as I’m done talking to May here.

Oh she gave me HM02 Fly as a present! That’s great, except that none of my team can learn it. Ah well, I guess I’ll finally have to start using an HM slave...

But that can wait until after I’ve beaten the Fortree Gym, since I can’t use Fly outside of battle until then anyway. That won’t be long though, as my team is already overleveled simply from traveling around fighting trainers.

*snerk* this ninja boy... well let’s just say his tree disguise wasn’t exactly convincing.

Ah, and now here we are Fortree City! Let’s see what there is to see here shall we?

Man I wish there were real cities like this, all built in the trees. They’re so damn cool. Though, honestly, this one isn’t particularly awesome when compared to some in other works of fiction. But hey, it’s one of the most interesting cities in Hoenn at least!

Though it also seems to be full of hippies. Everyone here is all like “OMG OUR TREEHOUSES ARE SO AWESOME, WE’RE SO IN TUNE WITH NATURE HURR DURR DURRRRRRRR”. I like nature too guys, but you’re all getting a little bit preachy...

There’s a store here that sells furniture for secret bases. Yet another place I will never, ever be bothering with!

Hmmm this guy just sent out his Wingull on an “errand” for him. What’s the bet that if I find where the wingull went there’s something in it for me? Well, I’ll find out later I suppose. Right now I got more important things to deal with.

Like the damn invisible Kecleon that is needlessly blocking the way to the gym on me! I guess I’ll have to go a bit further before I fight Winona after all...

After playing a weird guessing game with this old lady, she gave me TM10 Hidden Power, claiming that my hidden power had “awoken”. Or I was just lucky guessing shit. Either one. Anyway, I probably won’t bother with this one seeing as it’s a low BP move that I probably don’t really need.

Well that’s everything in here for now, I guess I have no choice but to move onto route 120 until I can get past that damn “unseeable” Kecleon. Hopefully this little detour won’t take long...

Woah, it’s that reporter and her cameraman again. Those two move quick... well I guess I’ll smush ‘em again. And they’re still not getting an interview out of me, goddamit!

*trying to go down some steps to an item and a pond*
“Something unseeable is in the way”
ANOTHER ONE!?!??! Ok, that’s just annoying as hell.

Oh hey, it’s Steven... and ANOTHER DAMN KECLEON! I am developing a massive hatred of these damn things. Ah, Steven is going to help me with it. Thank lord, I was worried I’d have to go all the way to Lilycove or something in order to get in Fortree’s gym.

First though, I have three Kecleon to smash with the Devon Scope Steven gave me! I can’t wait see their entrails spread all over the grass... oh yes... heh heh heh...

*Several mutilated Kecleon and one located TM11 Sunny Day later*
Alright, now it is time to take on Fortree gym! First the little birds of her flock will be taken down, then the flightmistress herself shall fall to my might! It won’t be hard, given how overleveled my Pokemon have become simply by traveling around.

These rotating door things that form the puzzle in here are pretty nifty. I always have a good bit of fun with them.

Female Picnicker: “Winona taught me personally! You can’t beat me easily!”
*Beats her easily*
Yeah, sorry, what was that again?

Alright, so after defeating all her lackeys in what must’ve been an embarrassing fashion for them, it is now time to take on their leader Winona. We’ll see who flies the highest soon!

*I send out Relic, she sends out Swellow*
Alright, Relic should be able to do good damage with Ancient Power here. And if she hits too hard, well there’s always Self-Destruct to fall back on...
*it uses Double Team, Ancient Power does less than 50% but gets the boost*
Awesome, I got the boost to all my stats! One more should do it.
*Aerial ace does around 30%, and Ancient Power just barely misses out on the KO*
Dammit. Well now she’ll probably heal it... I guess I’ll try again.
*Healing occurs, as does a good Ancient Power hit*
One more, assuming I don’t miss thanks to Double Team
*Speak of the devil, it uses Double Team and Relic misses*
Oh dear... we’ll see how this goes this time. I still have a few Ancient Powers left.
*Same as last turn occurs*
...... I might end up having to resort to Vital Throw...
*Aerial Ace brings Relic down to less than half, but Ancient Power finally hits and KOs Swellow*
Awesome! Pelipper is up next... but I’m not switching. I have a trick up my sleeve! *please don’t use protect*
*it uses Protect while Relic Self-Destructs uselessly*
Oh well, I guess I’ll bring out Big Banks to Thunderbolt this annoyance into oblivion.
*Thunderbolt OHKOs, Big Banks levels up and passes up Covet, Skarmory comes out*
Big Banks is still my best bet for this. MOAR THUNDERBOLT!
*Thunderbolt is a 2HKO, but Big Banks gets hit by Sand-Attack*
Well assuming I don’t miss, Skarmory isn’t sticking around much longer. Thunderbolt again!
*Misses, Steel wing does around 30%*
....... Ok, one more time.
*Skarmory is KO’d, Altaria is next*
Alright, now for the real challenge. I’m going to send out Hypothesis for the Intimidate, then deal as much damage as I can. Hopefully I can take it out before it gets too many Dragon Dances under its belt...
*Secret power does less to it than Dragon Breath did to Hypothesis*
... Well that’s not good. I guess I’ll Howl quickly, improve my odds...
*Dragonbreath reduced Hypothesis to half health*
Well this is going well...
*Altaria Dragon Dances, Secret power brings it into high yellow health*
Alight, let’s hope shit doesn’t hit the fan now...
*It uses dragon dance again, Secret power brings it down to virtually no health*
CRAP! If I had just done a tiny bit more damage... man, two dragon dances... I could get sweeped here... and a Hyper Potion is coming up for sure. I guess I don’t have much choice but to attack again!
*Sure enough hyper potion comes out, while Secret Power does some decent damage*
Alright, again now... hoping for the best.
*It uses Dragon Dance AGAIN while Secret Power puts it in the low yellow*
Alright, moment of truth... one more time!
*Earthquake hits, I’m sure Hypothesis is doomed but he miraculously holds on with 1HP and manages to KO Winona’s Altaria!*
HOLY SHIT THAT WAS CLOSE! 1HP! Seriously, had that not happened... well I probably just would’ve KO’d it with Fake Out, but still... +2 attack and +3 Speed is not something you really want to deal with...

Well Winona gracefully hands me the Feather Badge and TM40 Aerial Ace, after which I coolly walk on out of the gym... before misjudging the step and tripping on my face. Well shit. I guess I should just leave the whole gracefulness stuff to Winona... while she leaves the winning at Pokemon battles to me! >:D

And on that note, I think it’s time to bring this chapter to a close. Next time I venture to Lilycove and then to Mossdeep. Until then though, audios!


Location: Fortree City
Badges: 6
Pokemon: 6
Blackouts: 0 (Who is this Wattson you speak of?)

Wotter the Marshtomp

Level 35 – Item: Soft Sand – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Adamant
Rock Smash
Ice Beam
Mud Shot
Solos: 5/5 Grass, 5/5 Electric, 0/5 Ice

As I expected, Wotter is starting to fall behind the curve. It seems to happen to all starters just before they evolve to their final form, but it really doesn’t help that Wotter can’t hit super-effectively. Still he manages to pull his weight, at least for the time being. Thankfully, I only need to put up with him being NFE for one more chapter. He should become a decent enough tank after that.

Hypothesis the Mightyena

Level 35 – Item: Blackglasses – Ability: Intimidate – Nature: Sassy
Secret Power

Hypothesis is really not as powerful as he used to be, though now that he has Secret Power I expect him to start doing a bit better. Still, I can’t wait until he learns Crunch… then he should become a lot more powerful. Still, for the time being his ability remains very useful, and he has some interesting utility for me by virtue of his ability to set up, as he demonstrated against Winona this chapter. While I don’t expect him to ever be my MVP, I still expect him to remain useful throughout the challange.

Big Banks the Linoone

Level 35 – Item: None – Ability: Pickup – Nature: Timid

Big Banks is still lacking sorely in brute force, but he’s found a new and surprisingly useful niche on my team; utility coverage. You see, one of the biggest problems with the team I have is super-effective coverage; in short, there isn’t much. This is where Big Banks comes in; with his massive movepool, he can provide whatever coverage I’m missing. Right now, he’s using Thunderbolt and Surf to aide me. In the elite four I intend to give him Shadow Ball and Ice Beam or maybe Flamethrower, to provide that extra bit of coverage I need for them. Finally, it seems that all my suffering with him is starting to pay off!

Technician the Breloom:

Level: 35 – Item: Miracle Seed – Ability: Effect Spore – Nature: Impish
Mach Punch
Mega Drain
Leech Seed

Mach Punch’s low BP is finally starting to show up. Technician is still good, but some of the tougher opponents floating about now aren’t even 3HKO’d by it. It’s starting to seem more and more like I’m going to have to resort to Sub Seeding as I had intended to before. Still, she’s still quite effective for the time being, and I don’t expect that to change. It’s just starting to seem like I won’t be able to rely on brute force anymore.

Tough the Hariyama

Level: 35 – Item: Quick Claw – Ability: Guts – Nature: Lax
Secret Power
Arm Thrust
Vital Throw
Fake Out

Man, Tough shouldn’t feel the need to prove himself so bad... he’s just damn amazing. Even with only two type coverage, he still manages to hit everything insanely hard. Fake out is still astoundingly powerful, usually taking out around half of my opponents health for free. And if a non-stab 40BP attack is doing that much, you can imagine how much Vital Throw is doing. Still, I can’t wait until I can ditch Arm Thrust for Brick Break, which will be a much more reliable main attack than either the lowered priority Vital Throw or the variable Arm Thrust. Then there’s also his bulk which is very impressive, though it takes a toll on my potion supply thanks to its basis in his HP. Overall there’s no question that he’s still my MVP, and I’m starting to suspect it might stay that way.

Relic the Baltoy

Level: 34 – Item: None – Ability: Levitate – Nature: Serious
Ancient Power
Selfdestruct (0 KOs so far)

Relic has surprised me this chapter. Whereas last chapter he seemed very underpowered, this chapter he’s done much better. I don’t know why he’s suddenly increased in usefulness, but I’m not complaining. What does worry me though is his evolution requirements. Even with the changes I made to them, I still haven’t gotten a single KO (simply because he’s never gone below half health since I changed it except that once against Winona). I’m actually kind of hopping he does worse next chapter, just so he can use Selfdestruct more often and evolve. Still, this glimpse of his potential has really made me excited for the future. He might just prove himself very useful once he finally evolves.

Alright, after a bit of rest (well if you can call delving deep into RNG and struggling for two days to master it “rest”) I’m ready to continue my journey! Let’s see, last time we had just beaten Winona right? So that means that next up is the rest of route 120, along with the routes that connect to it, Mt. Pyre, Lilycove... yup I got my plate full!

Alright, so on the other side of the bridge where Steven gave me that Devon Scope is... more trainers! What a shocker. Oh and it’s constantly raining. Lovely. At least Big Banks gets a nice boost to Surf I suppose...

OH OH Relic is below half health! Maybe against the next trainer I can get a self-destruct kill! Let’s see... a Castform? BLOW IT UP RELIC WAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!!
*Accidentally uses mud-slap, Relic gets KO’d by weather ball*

*next battle after reviving Relic so he’s just below half-health*
Alright, maybe this next one will go better?
Nincada eh? Well after a Psybeam to weaken it, I should be guaranteed a KO...
*Pysbeam OHKOs*
OK, ninjask should be an OHKO with Selfdestruct. Here we go!
*it uses double team, but Selfdestruct FINALLY nets its first KO*
YESSS!!! Just 9 more times now... I was seriously expecting it to miss as soon as that damn Ninjask used Double Team, because that’s the way my luck rolls.

*Relic manages to blow up on a Milotic, scoring another KO. Thank you decent special defense, survived its double-STAB super effective Water Pulse with 6HP*
Alright, that’s two!

*Relic gets another one on a Nuzleaf (yes I’m making lots of Pokecenter trips)*
Alright, now I’m in this little grass maze here. Bound to be some good it-
*bumps into something unseeable*
ANOTHER ONE?!?!??! Ok, it’s dead.

*around 20 minutes later, covered with dirt and smudges of something red, I walk out of the tall grass into the rain*
Ah what a beautiful day it is now... a beautiful day for having Relic blow more shit up.

*Relic levels up just before exploding all over another Nuzleaf. I have to prevent him from evolving after the battle*
Soon my friend, soon. Just 6 more big booms and you will have your chance...

Ah made it to the other end of the route where it’s not raining again. I wonder why a stationary rain cloud hangs out over the top of route 120 24/7. I’m pretty sure stuff like that doesn’t happen naturally.

Oh the ninja kids have a new disguise! This time they’re pretending to be cliff walls! Rather unusually square, bulging sections of cliff walls. Really well done guys, I’m impressed, considering how many times you must’ve been dropped on your head when you were a baby.

Aaaaaand here we have another ruin maniac, this time mere steps from ancient ruins, asking me if I’ve heard about any ancient ruins around these parts. I guess it must be a cultural tradition to drop kids on their heads here in Hoenn, and that it goes back at least a couple generations.

Alright, route 121 now, finally out of the rain. The Safari Zone is here, but honestly I don’t give a damn about it. Sure TM 22 Solar Beam is there, but I’m not going to be using solar beam with this team anyway.


*another shallow grave later*
AHEM alright, let’s continue.

Hmmm a bunch of aqua grunts just headed off to Mt. Pyre. I think I know where I’m going next...

I wonder why they don’t have, I dunno, a bride or something leading to this really important place of tribute to departed Pokemon. Apparently if you want to pay your respects to the departed, you first have to prove yourself by swimming over there either yourself or via Pokemon. Or maybe dry people freak the spirits out or something. Well, if that’s the case they won’t have to worry... I’m not staying very dry surfing on the Pokemon world equivalent of a giant badger.

And a freaky old lady gives me the Cleanse Tag, which might well come in handy. Here, take it for the time being Tough. I need to level you but you aren’t going to be much use against the ghost types here, what with not having anything that can hit them and all.

Let’s see, do I go outside or inside first... Outside I think.

Oh, I found TM48, Skill Swap. Well, that’s a whole lot of use. Not.

Oh dear it’s getting all foggy. Spoooooky! Not. At least it doesn’t have any effect on Pokemon battles in this version... Fog is the worst weather condition ever.

Aha! Here are those Aqua grunts I saw earlier. Wait... what’s that smell... *looks at a nearby grave* is that... piss? OH NO YOU DIDN’T. Now it’s really on!

*against first grunt*
LOL Tough is still paralyzed from earlier. Apparently right now his Fake Out is an OHKO against lv 30 Zubat when it’s boosted by Guts. Man, Guts is an awesome ability.

OH HEY! It’s that Archie guy! You’re not getting away this time, especially not with stolen goods! Prepare too-

Well the old lady who Archie stole the Red Orb from gave me its companion, the Blue Orb and told me to go after him. I’m thinking I’m going to have to fight him sooner or later anyway, so I’ll take it. Her husband wants to tell me an old legend but I’m all like “nope.avi”

ANYWAY now for the trainers on the inside of Mt. Pyre. I’m pretty sure this area is optional, but I can use the experience and there’s probably good stuff in there, so I’m going in anyway.

I find it disturbing how there are trainers all over looking for battles while right next to them are people mourning their dead Pokemon. Insensitive much?

*encounters a costumed Pokemaniac inside*
... yeah, let’s kick that insensitivity up a notch, why don’t we.
*Young Couple in there on a dare, with they trying to use it to impress his girl*
................. If a ghost decided to posses you and tried to make you kill your girlfriend right now, I would do nothing to stop it. I’d just see it as justice served.

Technician wants to learn Sky Uppercut? I wish I could, but 85BP is far too much. *passes it up*
*Wotter wants to evolve*
Sorry, but you have to wait until next chapter my friend. Soon though, soon.

Hex: “I want to see dreadful things... I can’t leave... Stay... Won’t you stay with me?”
..... uh uh uh uh uhhhhhhhhh *turns tails and runs from the creepy lady who seems to have a crush on me*

And now I have reached the top of the tower, and those holes in the floor I’ve been noticing all the way up are about to come into play. Yup, it’s time to break every bone in my legs and feet again!

But first, what’s this? TM30, Shadow Ball! Now this is a valuable find, and I will certainly be giving it one of my Pokemon eventually. Probably Big Banks, but not until the Elite Four, when I can safely delete Cut.

Lax Incense eh? I just happen to have one Pokemon left that could use a useful item...
*Gives Lax Incense to Relic*

Sea Incense... well the only team member that could benefit from that would be Big Banks, and I’d rather keep his inventory open for Pickup. It’ll be shoved into the PC to free up bag space ASAP methinks.

Well, that’s it for now. Time to hobble my way along the eastern half of Route 123 and see what I can find here. I’m wishing that heal pulse was around right now, because it’d be useful for fixing up my shattered legs...

Hmm some berries here... and what’s this girl doing staring at the forest bordering the route? Hello are you ok? Uh, yeah grass type Pokemon are fine... Technician here is pretty cool. Woah you’re giving me TM19 Giga Drain? For no reason? Well... thanks I guess...
(seriously, why are people so generous here? It’s starting to wig me out*

Anyway, Giga Drain is getting used straight away on Technician, as it’s the strongest Grass Type move she can use, and the healing is nice too. I just need to find some more PP Ups for her, as 5PP isn’t exactly stellar.

Oh great this is one of those one way routes with multiple paths... If I want everything here, I’ll have to make multiple trips. *sigh* I don’t know if I’ll bother...

Ohhh Relic wants to learn Cosmic Power? Man, I wish I had the moveslot for it, but if I want Ground Type STAB I’ll need to keep what I have. Ah well.
*Relic explodes on a Pelipper to vent his frustration, but just barely misses out on the KO*

*Revives him and then he blows up on a Swellow*
Ok, NOW I’m at 5/10. Half way there!
*Revives him again, does the same with a Wailmer*
*again, now a Trapinch*
7/10. God revives make this so much easier.

*Heads to Mauville Pokemon center, pulls out that Wingull I caught in the first chapter, teaches it Fly, uses it to get back to Fortree*

Alright, now to take the second path on that route, fly back to Fortree again, then head to Lilycove. I fucking hate routes like this...

*turns out all I missed was a single trainer*

*flies back to Fortree*
Alright, now I’ll finally head to Lilycove. Just got the rest of Route 121 to get through, and then I’ll be there.

Alright, what’s left here on route 121? Some trainers, an inexplicable fence maze (seriously, why are these so prominent in the Pokemon world?) and not too much else.

Well that didn’t take long. Here we are, Lilycove city! Let’s take a look around, shall we?

Uhg, Aqua grunts all over. Filthy bastards. The populous appears to be concerned about them, but don’t know their history. One guy in the Pokemon Center even has heard about their exploits, but hasn’t connected the dots between that group and the group occupying his town (dumbass). I’m betting I’ll have to do something about this. Especially as they’ve blocked my route to Mossdeep with a bunch of Wailmer of all things. I’ll say it again. Filthy bastards.

Oh, the Pokemon Trainer fanclub. I wonder if anyone is mentioning me yet, or if I have to beat the elite four first.

Pokemon trainer fan: “I’ve been hearing things about a tough new trainer. This trainer’s supposed to be beating gym leaders, even. Do you know anything about this new trainer?”
Oh, I think I might :P

Hmmm let’s see, the Lilycove contest hall. I’ll have to take a look and see if there’s anything in here I can actually use...
*much, much talking with NPCs later*
Nothing. I spent 10 minutes talking to NPCs in there for NOTHING! Goddamit... they put one damn TM in one of them, and now I look through all of them for NOTHING. God damn you Gamefreak... god damn you.

Neaby there’s a house with a lady who proclaims herself to be a “master of Pokeblocks” wants to teach me about them. Yeah, no thanks, I plan on never mixing a single Pokeblock on this file.

Alright, now for the upper part of town... Hey it’s May! Look like it’s time for the final battle with her... this shouldn’t be too hard, especially since this time I don’t have any restrictions on the fight.

Swellow hmm? Well Tough clearly isn’t ideal for this, but I’ll use Fake Out since he’s out anyway.
*Fake Out crits and does well over half health*
Alright! Ok, so who to switch to now... Hypothesis should do well, with intimidate and all.
*Is hit by Endeavor*
AHK! Well that was unexpected, though perhaps it shouldn’t have been. Well in any case I’m going to use Secret Power and hope it doesn’t KO me first...
*Hypothesis survives with 11 HP, KOs Swellow*
Next up is Groyvle... Tough is in a good way to go here I think. Fake out!
*does around 1/3 health*
Yeah, I think Vital Throw will finish it.
Numel next eh? I think a 4x super effective attack will do the trick... Big Banks, Surf!
*OHKO, Wailmer is up next*
Big Banks can handle this too! Thunderbolt!
*2/3 health, paralyzes, Wailmer is unable to move*
Lol, needless hax. Well, down you go now!
There, off she goes. No gift this time. Ah well, that doesn’t bother me. One more milestone achieved in any case!

Well, now that that’s done I guess I’ll check out the department store next.. I wonder if there’s anything useful to be found...?
Hmmm I can buy some medicine and drinks of course, always useful.
Ah, some TMs! Let’s see, anything I can use? Hrm... the typical high power, low reliability moves are here (Fire Blast, Thunder, Hyper Beam, Blizzard)... I don’t really like using those in game. There’s also screens and protect here though... which no one on my team can really use except Relic, who doesn’t have room for them. Ah well... At least I got some medicine.

Alright, I’ll check out the museum next, not that there’s likely to be anything of interest in there.
And the curator shows me his special gallery which is meant for contest winner portraits... nothing of worry.

Aqua grunt outside: “Hey, you! Don’t go near the cave in the cove! Why? You don’t need a reason why! I’m an adult, so you just listen to me!”
*snerk* beware my disarmingly small body, for inside beats the heart of a 20 year old with too much time on his hands! All your base are belong to us!

Oh, the move delete is here. That could come in handy at a later date.

Oh, a random sleepy guy gave me TM44 for no reason at all! Random generosity win?

Oooo found a PP Up on the beach. Technician’s Giga Drain gets the boost. Just 3 more and I can max out that move as well as Relic’s Ancient Power.

Alright, that’s everything here. That damn aqua grunt is still blocking the way out of here with his Wailmer, so I guess I’m going to have to deal with Team Aqua if I want to move on. Into their base I go!

Hmmm Aqua grunts are blocking the entrance...
Aqua Grunt one: “What? What? What do you want with Team Aqua? Our boss isn’t here! He’s gone off to jack a submarine! ... ... where did he go? Wahaha! Do you really think I’d tell you something that crucial?”
Aqua Grunt two: “What? What? What do you want with Team Aqua? Our boss isn’t here! He’s on his way to Slateport City! ... ... Why did he go? Wahaha! Do you really think I’d tell you something that crucial?”
Words fail me. They’re standing shoulder to shoulder too.

Alright, I guess I’m flying off to Slateport to investigate this grand theft submersible that’s in progress. Onwards!

Oh, something is going on at the port... an interview on the new submarine. I wonder what’s going to happen next? *sarcasm*

So yeah, Team Aqua announces it’s swiping the sub (fail criminals) but still get away with it (fail police). I guess I’ll try and head them off at their base then...

Yup, the fail guards are gone, now I just got to fight my way through here.

GAH teleporters! Oh this is going to be sooooo much fun...

*after going through a room so densely packed with teleporters it’s frightening*
OH a room with 4 items... 2 of which are electrodes, but one of which is a MASTER BALL!
Of course I won’t be using it :P it’s going to be going be transferred to my gen IV games when I’m done.

One of the electrodes blew up on relic... annoying, but now I can use a Revive on him and get those last few KOs to evolve him!

*Relic explodes on a Carvanha*
*Relic explodes on another Carvanha*
*Relic explodes on a Zubat*
10/10! OH YEAAAAAAH! Relic will be evolving soon!

Oh ho, an Aqua admin eh? Let’s see how well he holds up eh?
*Not very well*

Ah but he was just stalling for time like the rest of the damn grunts in here! Archie gets away and now I’ll have to pursue him yet again... later though I think. First I got a gym to take care of!

But before that I need to get there. Onwards to Mossdeep I go!

Lots of water and trainers on this route... good training I suppose. After I get to Mossdeep, I’ll have to explore around some before I take on Tate and Lisa. Their Pokemon are like lv 42...

Oh I wonder what all these dark spots in the water are? It couldn’t POSSIBLY be something I need another HM to interact with now could it? Naw, they’d never do that!

Oh what’s this? Relic is evolving, and this time I don’t have to stop him from doing so! You’ve earned it buddy, I promise I won’t make you explode again... unless you get really beat up, then I have to.

Unfortunately, Wotter does not get to join the fully evolved club yet... patience, it won’t be long now.

Well here we are, Mossdeep City! I don’t dare challenge Tate and Liza yet, but I can at least take a look around.

Oh, a nice kid gave me a King’s Rock (which Steven gave to him). Two cases of random generosity, one item. Nice.

Oh, and here’s Steven himself! He just gave me HM08 Dive, which I can’t use until I take down Tate and Liza of course. It’s inferior to any of the moves any of my other Pokemon know, and as such completely useless to me right now. Neeeeeeext!

Wait what? There’s this locked door in this old guy’s house! I don’t remember that... I guess it must be for events or something, because my guide book doesn’t even mention it. Well I could look it up but I’m too damn lazy.

Hey, it’s that winggull from Fortree! It’s relaying male between these kids... hmmm I wonder what’ll happen if I make a quick trip to Fortree now? Worth checking out...

Yup, here it is! Apparently it magically acquired a Mental Herb and since the guy isn’t a trainer he gives it me. Random acts of kindness for the win!

Alright, back to Mossdeep to finish off this area. Just a couple more buildings left to check out, including a space center apparently!

Oh, there’s a fisherman here who gave me the Super Rod, after using the word “Super” more times than I thought possible in two sentences. Well thanks, I’ll be using this exactly never.

Let’s see, in the Space Center someone gives me a Sun Stone (Another item I’ll never use!), and really that’s about it. Well that was a disappointment.

Alright, that’s everything here. I think I’ll be going north first, since I know that more or less dead ends. Here we go!

Alright, some trainers outside, but inside is where it gets interesting... kind of. There aren’t any trainers in there, but there are some items, and also the components for a Shell bell. Of course, since the battery in my game is dead the tide never changes and I’ll never be able to get a shell bell. Well shit. At least Wotter can easily get his Ice type Solos here on all the Spheal.

Alright, now let’s go South and see what’s down there eh? I’ll tell you what I’ll actually be able to find down there currently: lots and lots of trainers, and nothing else. Really, I can’t do anything around here now except fight trainers by the dozen.

Ah, the Island of Sootopolis is here... not that I can do anything about it right now. Lots of trainers around here for me though.

.... On route 127 I fought a Fisherman with a lv 45 Magikarp. There are no words.

Fisherman: “Through fishing, I have achieved a state of calm serenity... Please allow me to demonstrate”
*proceeds to battle*
Wait what? So wanton violence in the new serenity? Holy shit, I must be the goddamn Dali Lama by now!

*Many trainers later*
Well now, I’ve finished all the 120 routes... I guess I might as well take the route through Pacifidlog to Slateport. I still need more levels and trainers are the best way to get those.

Female Swimmer: “Why do men love bathing suits so much? They all ogle me!”
*staring at the swimmer’s chest* Oh, sorry, did you say something?

*right next to Pacifildlog Town*
Oh so Tough wants to learn Belly Drum eh? Unfortunately, that just isn’t an option for him thanks to his restrictions. Ah well.

Well here we are, Pacifidlog town! I guess I got a small amount of exploring to do here before I continue on to Slateport.

The town itself is a pretty cool design, a town floating in the middle of the ocean. Not very practical, but hey, it’s cool at least.

Hmm some people are talking about a “Sky Pokemon” here... i wonder what that could be? *cough *Rayquaza cough*

Random guy: “Where did you come from?”
*only options for responses are Yes and No*
... wtf Gamefreak?
*Chooses yes*
Random guy: “Yes? Yes Town? I’ve never heard of a place like that.”
............. *facepalm*

Oh, the brother of the Pokemon Fanclub’s President gave my TM27 Return because Technician loves me. This is great because Return is an awesome move. Let’s see... who would benefit from it the most? Technician and Wotter can’t use it due to restrictions and Relic is waiting for Earthquake in his only available spot. Big Banks already has it... Hypothesis could benefit a lot from it, and so could Tough. Ultimately though, I think that Hypothesis needs the power most, so I’m going to teach it to him.

And in the final hut there are people talking about Mirage Island, which, thanks to my game’s battery being gone, will never appear for me. Not that I really care mind you.

Well three more routes to explore now... 3 extremely annoying routes. The currents here make navigating it a massive pain. I’ll have to fly back to Pacifidlog several times to complete it all...

*a little bit later*
Well that’s one time through. I probably need to go through like 4 more times to get all the trainers... oh well, once I’m done this I think I’ll be ready for Tate and Liza!

*Against a Fisherman with 6 motherfucking Gyarados*
Hot damn, this is a experience bananza! The first one was lv 34 and so was quite tough, but all the others are much lower level so Big Banks can OHKO with Thunderbolt. Oh, and Big Banks wants to learn Slash, but I’m thinking that Return is outclasses it by just a little bit :P

*several trips from Pacifidlog to Slateport later*
Alright, that’s everything on the route I can access without Dive. I guess that’s it for now, so it’s time to take on the Mossdeep Gym! This is looking to be the nastiest battle I’ll have to do yet. I have to solo Tate and Liza with Relic, who can only really hit them with Ancient Power. Additionally, their Solrock has the SunnyBeam combo, which is obviously a great threat to him. Their Lunatone also has Calm Mind and Light Screen... but thankfully only Psychic as an attacking move. So, the bottom line is that most of Relic’s moves are useless... but I have a couple plans that should allow me to beat them.

Before that though I need to take on their lackeys. This shouldn’t take too long...

*after several uneventful battles*
Hmmm so Hypothesis wants to learn Taunt? I can use non-attacking moves to aid Relic in his solo right? I think I got a plan forming...

*shortly later*
Alright, I beat all the trainers and have the arrow tile puzzle in the gym figured out, so now it’s time for Tate and Liza! I got a certain TM that I think will be of great use to me in this battle, so I’m going to use it on Relic Before I start... and by now you already know I plan on using Taunt to shut down all the boosting techniques their Pokemon use. What was looking like a real challenge is suddenly looking a lot easier. Here I come you two! Be ready, because Relic is about to rock your world!

*talking to them, as they repeat each other’s lines and end each other’s sentences*
Ok these two are ungodly creepy. THEY MUST BE DESTROYED!
*Relic and Hypothesis face off against Solrock and Lunatone*
Alright, So Hypothesis is going to taunt Solrock before it can use Sunny Day and Relic is going to use the special move I gave him to hit Solrock before it can nail me with Solar Beam. That’s the move I fear the most by far, so I had better damn well make sure he doesn’t get it off.
*Relic uses Shadow Ball, doing a little less than half damage to Solrock, while Taunt prevents Solrock from using Sunny Day. Lunatone uses Calm Mind*
Well that went pretty well, though my secret move did less than I had hoped. It’ll be enough though, as it’s a physical attack. They don’t have anything to defend against it. Now to Taunt Lunatone before it boosts anymore or uses Hypnosis. Relic is just going to keep pounding away with Shadow Ball in the meantime.
*Shadow Ball crits on Solrock, KOing it. Taunt prevents Lunatone from using Hypnosis*
Oh man, and I thought this was going to be hard! I’m so glad I remembered Shadow Ball. Shame there’s only one TM30 though, since I was planning on giving Big Banks it during the Elite Four. Oh well, Hypothesis should deal with the Psychic and Ghost types there well enough. Anyway, at this point all Lunatone can do is attack uselessly with Psychic, so I pretty much have it in the bag.
*Relic falls just short of a 2HKO with Shadow Ball, while Hypothesis stands around Howling until his Taunt is needed again. Lunatone flails around uselessly*
Alright, a full restore or something is bound to be incoming, but I have no worries at this point. Nothing they can do will help them now!
*FOUR futile Hyper Potions and a couple failed Psychics later*
Geeze, there wasn’t much purpose to those Hyper Potions except to annoy the shit out of me. Still, that was about 10 times easier than I expected! Taunt made this battle trivial. I’d have to say this is probably the first time Taunt has been useful to me in-game, and now that I understand its potential it could very well be useful to me in the future...

Oh, I also got TM04 Calm Mind for my trouble. I’d use it, but not a single one of my Pokemon can learn it... not even Relic. Welp, I get to use Dive anyway, and I’ve finally finished this chapter! Next chapter should be a lot shorter, and happen a lot sooner. But until then, audios!

Location: Fortree City
Badges: 7
Pokemon: 6
Blackouts: 0 (Who is this Wattson you speak of?)

Wotter the Marshtomp

Level 41 – Item: Soft Sand – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Adamant
Rock Smash
Ice Beam
Mud Shot
Solos: 5/5 Grass, 5/5 Electric, 5/5 Ice

Wotter is probably the weakest link on my team right now, not hitting very hard and unable to use his coverage at all thanks to his restrictions. He at least had some bulk in previous chapters, but even that is falling behind the curb now thanks to the lack of eviolite in this generation. Thankfully, he’ll FINALLY evolve next chapter, and you can bet he’ll finally become more useful then. That being said, he wasn’t totally weak this chapter; he does hit pretty hard neutrally. He’s just not really necessary for my team; everything he can do someone on my team can do better. LVP for now, but evolution should change that.

Hypothesis the Mightyena

Level 42 – Item: Blackglasses – Ability: Intimidate – Nature: Sassy

Hypothesis is starting to do a lot better now that it has access to TMs. First Secret Power then Return meant he finally has some oomph, and that Howl can actually allow him to sweep teams. He’s still stuck with Bite for now but Crunch isn’t too far off, and then I expect his usefulness to really spike. Really though, his biggest use continues to be support in major battles. Whether it’s using Intimidate to nerf a dangerous attacker or now Taunt to demolish any attempts to set up, he’s vital in gym battles for his unique capabilities. He was the singular reason why Tate and Liza were so easy this chapter, and I can see him being very useful in the future in similar capcities.

Big Banks the Linoone

Level 41 – Item: None – Ability: Pickup – Nature: Timid

Big Banks continues to use his niche well, though he still lacks a lot of power. His coverage moves are really only most useful against opponents that have great physical defense or resist Return, as even Super Effective hits tend to do around the same amount of damage as Return. Still, his speed is always nice and he always manages to find ways to be useful with his access to types of moves I otherwise can’t use for super effective coverage. He’ll never climb to the top of the ranks of my team, but I doubt he’ll ever be useless thanks to his utility.

Technician the Breloom:

Level: 41 – Item: Miracle Seed – Ability: Effect Spore – Nature: Impish
Mach Punch
Mega Drain
Leech Seed

Technician is really starting to fall behind the curve as an attacker, almost never getting OHKOs anymore. I need something better to use for coverage than Tackle, but there aren’t really a lot of options. Still, she isn’t useless thanks to her decent defense and fair number of resistances. She still wrecks dark types too. I’m beginning to think I will have to go the sub-seed route though; Tackle isn’t serving much purpose so Substitute might be a more useful move for me to learn.

Tough the Hariyama

Level: 41 – Item: Quick Claw – Ability: Guts – Nature: Lax
Secret Power
Arm Thrust
Vital Throw
Fake Out

Tough continues to do very well, though he isn’t nailing as many OHKOs as he used to. His bulk makes up for that though, and if he secures a Guts boost... well, look out. Next chapter he’ll gain access to Brick Break as I know its obtainable in Sootopolis City, and then he’ll have the final moveset I want for him. He doesn’t really get anything for coverage aside from Earthquake (which is rather redundant and still doesn’t hit most ghosts) that’d be more useful than Secret Power or Fake Out and he needs to keep two Fighting Type moves, so I’m fine with what he’ll have after that. So yes everyone, that means next chapter he’s going to be entering some contests... it’ll be interesting to say the least.

Relic the Claydol

Level: 41 – Item: Lax Incense – Ability: Levitate – Nature: Serious
Shadow Ball
Ancient Power
Selfdestruct (10/10, evolution complete)

Relic really shined this chapter. He has good bulk, decent attack power and nice coverage. He handled Tate and Liza very well (though Hypothesis had a lot to do with that) and has overall just stunned me with his awesomeness. He didn’t have too much trouble evolving after I realized that Revive actually gives you a little bit less than half health, and once he did evolve... well he’s now among the most useful members of my team for sure. Now the only question is whether to keep Shadow Ball all the way through or replace it with Earthquake down the road. Well, we’ll figure that out later... I can’t even get to Earthquake just yet!

Chapter 8: Waterworld

Alright, so now what to do now that I’ve got the Mind Badge? Why, it’s time to dive dive dive of course! First though, I’m going to go to Sootpolis to pick up Brick Break for Tough, since I’ll be doing a bit of battling after I get Dive and I’d like to get rid of that useless Arm Thrust ASAP.

*Lombre gets Dive... wait, wtf I don’t have it?*
Wait what? What the hell is going on?
*Runs around and finds out that all the exploring I did in Mossdeep doesn’t exist anymore*
WTF? I must have quit without saving by accident at some point, but I have no idea when... I have to go around and make sure I didn’t miss anything important. I suspect there are a few trainers I’ve lost too... geeze, how did I not even notice this? Well I redid all the important stuff. Didn’t bother with the Mental Herb as I very much doubt that’ll be useful.

*checks out route 125*
Yup, Route 125 is completely undone. Well I guess I got some extra trainer fights to do...

*One battle later*
Relic wants to learn Cosmic Power? Well, I would except that I’ve actually been using it more as a tank. I think I’m better off with more coverage. Anyway, before I do more battles up here I’m going to go get Brick Break as I was going to before. Then I guess I can check what I have and haven’t fought as I dive around... goddamn, how did I fuck this up?

*on the way to Sootopolis*
Alright, it looks like I saved after clearing out the route around Sootopolis at least, which means the rest of the southern routes should have been saved too. Looks like it was just the exploration of Mossdeep and route 125 that I didn’t save.

Alright, I’ve arrived at Sootopolis, so it’s time for some more city exploration (and the last bit of it for the playthrough actually). Let’s see what this town has to offer me aside from just Brick Break eh?

It has some weird architecture to offer, that’s for certain. These houses are just plain weird looking... and everything is grey or white. Weird shit...

Well anyway, got my TM31 Brick Break. Here you go Tough, you’ve been waiting a long time for a reliable STAB move now haven’t you?

Well let’s see... here there’s a couple of guys arguing over whether Barbroach or Shroomish is bigger (who gives a shit) and there’s a girl that gives out useless berries, and a lot of people talking about boring stuff, and a Cave of Orgins I can’t enter yet, and nothing at all of any use. Well, that’s disappointing. At least I got Brick Break now.

Alright, now to explore all the underwater regions I have available to me. This will take a while for me but don’t expect me to have much to say about heh...

Female Swimmer: “Ufufufufufu I’m a mermaid!”
.......................... I think you need help.

*after much diving*
I wonder... how on earth do you breathe when you’re underwater? It’s not like there’s a time limit or anything... if you wanted to you could stay underwater indefinitely. You’d think they’d have some sort of explanation for this, but no. I guess it’s magic. If it’s magic, you don’t have to explain it right?

The shards I find are traded for evolutionary stones... which are kind of useless to me so I’ll probably just sell ‘em. I don’t even need them on my other versions so... yeah, sell.

*After MOAR DIVING and some wild Pokemon*
Oh, what’s this? Wotter wants to learn Protect? Well, I would except that it really isn’t going to be much help in Wotter’s role, so I think I’m I’ll pass it up...
But what’s this? Wotter is evolving, and finally I can let him do it! Booyah! Finally, Wotter is a Swampert and my entire team is fully evolved! It only took ¾ of the game to get to this point...

*Some time later*
Alright, so that’s all of the dive spots on Route 124 and 126 taken care of. Route 127 and 128 still have some dive exploration to be done, but it’ll progress the story if I explore too much on route 128 and I got some exploration to do elsewhere first. So yes, it’s time to head back to the abandoned ship now!

*A quick trip later*
Alright, let’s see what there is to get here now eh?
A strange puzzle that’s what. You walk in, shit blinks and you have to remember where it is. So much fun...

*a couple seconds later*
Hang on, the itemfinder allows you to completely bypass this stupid puzzle. It tells you where the key you need is regardless of how many false sparkling pieces of trash are around. You’d think they’d account for that since you need to have the itemfinder before you can use Dive anyway... well I’m not complaining.

Well I did find TM18 Rain dance... which I have no use for. Ah well... what else is here?

Well after a pointless series of keys, I got the Scanner. Now to see what my reward will be for turning this over to the ship’s resident mad scientist...

Wait what? He wants me to deliver this to Captain Stern? I... ok I was totally expecting him to use this for some evil genius plot, but it seems like he’s just a proxy for the much less exciting Captian Stern. Ah well, Stern probably has better resources with which to reward me right? And is also less likely to use it to make a doomsday device, I suppose. But a bigger reward right?

So what I get for it is...! A deepseatooth or deepseascale.
FUCK! I can’t use either of those dammit! What a rip...

Well I guess there’s nothing left but to dive down to the depths of Routes 127 and 128. Time to finally move the story along soon I think.

Unfortunately I have to take my diver down with me to the Seafloor Cavern so one of my Pokemon is going to have to stay behind. Technician has the most redundant coverage other than Wotter, and I really kind of want to test out Wotter’s limits now that he’s evolved. Sorry girl, you’ll have your opportunity to shine later on I promise!

Well Route 127 only had one thing of Carbos to offer. All that’s left now is the Seafloor Cavern. Let’s go take a look shall we?

Aha, their submarine is here. I guess it’s time to take on Aqua, one more time!

*several grunts and a lot of Strength puzzles later*
Hey, it’s that Aqua admin from the Weather Institute. Looks like I’ll have to go through her to get to the end of the cave. Let’s see if she puts up any resistance at all eh?
*not really*

Alright, now what?
Another Strength puzzle. Oh yay.
*A few attempts later*
Well that was one of the harder strength puzzles in the game. Damn this next area is foggy... hey what’s that?
*TM 26 Earthquake obtained!*
Awesome! This will definitely come in handy... the only question is, who needs it the most? Well I think I’ll decide that later, as for now the moves I have will serve me just fine I think.

Well looky there... in that pool is the legendary Pokemon Kyogre! But Archie comes in and decides he needs to “make me disapeer” (read as “murder you”). So it looks like my Pokemon are going to have to show him who’s boss around here before I do anything more. Get to it my friends!

*Wotter Faces off against Mightyena*
Yes, I like this matchup I think. Mud Shot away!
*Mud Shot does less than a third, his Mightyena uses Scary Face*
Damned Intimidate... Screw it, Tough will end this way faster.
*Mightyena barely scratches Tough on the switch, while Tough easily OHKOs*
Crobat next eh? Well I have just the thing... go Relic! Psybeam!
*Psybeam is an easy 2HKO while Crobat can’t punch through Relic. However, Super Potions get used by Archie*
Annoying... I still do more damage than he can heal though, so not much more I think.
*3rd Psybeam KOs despite the Super Potions*
Alright, Sharpedo is next. This is no fight for Relic, so Tough is coming back out. Time to finish this!
*Brick Break OHKOs*
Well now that was easy.

Alright Archie, time to go down-
*Red orb activates by itself, Kyogre swims away*
... Well shit.
*Archie gets a message from Aqua members outside saying it’s started raining like a hurricane.*
Well double shit. Well Maxie and team Magma come to show us the deluge that is hammering the surface outside and Archie realizes what a dumbass he’s been. Maxie tells me that he’s thankful for my help but I should leave this to them, while Steven tells me that he’s going to take care of it and not to do anything Reckless. So, of course doing something reckless is precisely what I’m going to do.

Damn the music is wild out here. Anyway, Steven said he was headed to Sootopolis and knowing the way video games work I know that means I need to go there myself. Onwards!

Oh, here’s Steven, and... that must be Wallace. Man Wallace looks lame. Anyway, Wallace sees the Blue Orb and leads me to the Cave of Origin and tells me I have to go inside it. Steven, upon hearing that I have the Blue Orb, suddenly makes an about face and tells me to go in. My Pokemon will keep me safe from the massive world ending monster he says to the 10 year old character. Man is he ever lucky he’s right.

Alright, so now it’s time to face Kyogre. I fully intend on catching it too, so this will be an interesting fight to say the least. Here we go...

Woah the damn cave shakes as you walk through it. Well that makes me perfectly comfortable... not. It’s also pitch black, but I’ll be damned if I bring a flash user to this fight.

OH HM 07 Waterfall is here! Well, none of my main Pokemon will be using it, but it’ll be useful come next chapter.

And here we are, and there it is. The big boy, Kyogre. I don’t have any sleep inducers this game... or status inducers at all. This is going to make things awfully challenging, but thankfully I have Net Balls to help me along. I’ll lead with Hypothesis to weaken its Body Slam for a little bit of help, but after that I’m more or less at its mercy... well, here goes nothing!

*Ice beam does around 60% to Hypothesis, Bite does next to nothing*
Damn... well I guess I’ll switch to Tough to use Fake Out and see what else he can do
*He is nailed by a Rain Boosted Hydro Pump as he switches in, OHKOing him*
Well shit. Big Banks, Thunderbolt it for me maybe?
*It does slightly more than Bite did, gets Paralyzed by Body Slam*
Goddamit, I’ll have to switch out and heal it. Hypothesis is going to get another switch in while I heal Big Banks.
*Lava Cookie is used on Big Banks while Hypothesis is OHKO’d by Hydro Pump*
Well this is not good. That damn Hydro Pump can OHKO everything on my team. Thankfully it has only 5 PP, then I have only much weaker attacks to deal with.
*Big Banks is hit by multiple Body Slams but manages to put Kyogre in the red in the process*
Brillaint! Alright, now I can start throwning balls while reviving teammates... Hopefully I can catch it before it wrecks my whole team.
*Suddenly It starts using Calm Mind*
*Lots of reviving, fainting and Net Balls later*
Well it’s at +6 and I’m out of revives. It can KO anything on my team with Ice beam. If I don’t catch it in the next few net balls, I’m going to black out and have to try again...
Yes, I have captured the great Kyogre! Victory is MINE!

Alright, time to head back out of here and finish this bit. Looks like the area is nice and sunny again. No one is waiting to great me outside, which is kind of surprising. Did they decide “well can’t wait any longer, guess he’s dead. I’m heading home to eat some dinner”?

Oh Steven is in front of the gym... ah he’s congratulating me. How nice. He then tells me I can fight Wallace now as he considers me to be on “equal footing”. Pompus jerk. Anyway, before I do that I have contest to win. Tough, we’re headed to Verdanturf town!

Alright, Tough is entered in the Tough contest! His moveset isn’t really idea for a tough contest... in fact I think it might not even have any Tough type moves. Still this is an entry level contest... surely this won’t be too hard? He also has a combination in Fake Out and Vital Throw, so that should help.

And Tough gets 0 hearts in the primary appeal while some of the others get to 5-6. Yeah, I’m going to have to do really damn good in the appeal stage. That’s the price of not using any Pokeblocks...

The plan here is simple... Use Fake out and Vital Throw over and over and hope like hell it’s enough.
Well that didn’t go well... Turns out their condition is low enough it hardly matters, but winning appeals with this moveset is hard. I think I’m going to have to replace Secret Power (which is based on condition AND Smart, meaning it’s totally useless) with Strength (A Tough type appeal so I can get crowd bonus). We’ll see how this goes...
*still bad*
Well hell man, I’m not sure how I can do this with a decent moveset... this is really annoying me. Third time will be the charm maybe?
....... Ok this is impossible. I can’t make a viable moveset AND win a Tough competition... Goddamn this!

Alright, solution! Hey Tough, I know you don’t want to use up my berry supply but you see these ones? These nanab, pinap wepear and others? Yeah they’re totally useless EXCEPT for this. So why don’t you use just these ones? Please? You won’t be using up a supply of berries I actually give a shit about. You will? ALRIGHT! Now I can do this by CHEATING MY WAY TO VICTORY! (honestly though, I wouldn’t be able to do it otherwise...)

Thankfully for me, Tough has a +Def nature, so he just loves him some sour Pokeblocks! Alright, now just chow down around a dozen Brown Pokeblocks for me will yah?

*one candy binge later*

There yah go, now you LOOK like your namesake, as well as acting like it Tough! And also bizarrely cute at the same time... Pokeblocks are weird shit.

Anyway, let’s try this again now shall we? I think you’ll win based on your condition alone to be frank; it must almost be maxed...

Lol there’s a makuhita in this challenge.
*gets like 10 hearts in preliminary*
Alright that’s all good then. Now for the appeals! FAKE OUT COMBO SPAM GO!
*Fudges up and uses strength by accident*
And I was in first position too *facepalm* well 3 hearts for the appeal at least...
*uses fake out vital throw combination next two turn*
Well I’m actually like 3rd in the appeal score right now... I could do another fake out and vital throw or I could startle the shit and screw everyone else over.
*Does that instead, Places 3rd in appeals*
Yeah well not that I expected to do great there with this moveset. At least I wasn’t dead last... Tough just looks so tough though that he’ll win anyway though!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cheating my way to victory all day looooong! Alright now I can go do important shit and take on Wallace! Super happy fun time GO!

Alright, here we are! First his lackeys must be destroyed as per usual. Well technically, I don’t have to fight them at all... they only need to be fought if you fail the ice floor puzzle and fall through below. Of course since I want experience, I’m going to purposefully fail the final ice puzzle just so I can fight them. Remember kids, don’t be afraid of failure! It makes you stronger! At least it does when you’re doing it on purpose to train your Pokeymahns anyway.

... All the trainers in his gym are women. I thought he was gay dammit! Or maybe he is... they do tend to hang out with them don’t they </stereotype>

Damn, all these trainers have Pokemon in the low 40s, not much off my own. Not that they’re giving me much trouble (Hell, Relic easily tanked a super-effective Water Pulse) but still, makes me slightly worried about Wallace. It’s not like I have a lot of moves that can hit him really hard. I think I’ll bring along an X-Attack for Big Banks too, since he needs to solo both his Wiscash and Milotic using Return. I’m still not too worried though... what could possibly go wrong? *fate has been tempted*

Alright, that’s all the trainers dealt with. I’m starting to form a strategy, and it involves a lot of X-Attack followed by a lot of Returns. Basically, Wallace leads with Luvdisc who is about as threatening as a newly born kitten, so I’ll just set up with a half bazillion X-Attacks and then sweep his entire team with Return using Big Banks’ naturally blistering speed. He’ll never get an attack off after I’ve set up!

*Flies to Lilycove to buy some X-Attack, flies back and eventually solves the annoying as hell ice puzzle to get to Wallace. Seriously, why is his puzzle Ice based when it’s a water type gym? Everythign in here is Ice based in fact!*

Alright mister flamboyant, it’s time to lose to a speedy ferret/badger thing! Have fun being destroyed eh?

*He sends out Luvdisc, I send out Big Banks*
Alright, set up time.
*Sets up 5 X-Attack while he fruitlessly whitles away Big Banks’ HP with water pulse*
Alright, just got to heal up now and it’s go time! First a Hyper Potion...
*full health is taken down by less than a 5th by another Water Pulse*
Now Big Banks is still confused from those, so next up Yellow Flute...
*Water Pulse brings Big Banks down a bit more*
Alright, it used Attract on the first turn so Big Banks is kind of in love, but all I need is one damn hit to get through this stupid living Heart Scale and then it’s easy street from here on out. Return time!
*immobilized by love, confused by Water pulse*
...... fuck.
*yellow flute and hyper potion go!*
Alright let’s try again! RETURN!
*Immobilized by love, Sweet Kiss thankfully misses*
............ Oh for the love of... KILL IT YOU DUMB FUCK!
*immobilized by love, at least Water Pulse doesn’t confuse him*
*FINALLY Return gets used and Luvdisc is reduced to a heart shaped smear on the gym floor*
Alright, it should be smooth sailing from here on out! Let’s smash us some water types Big Banks!
*Wiscash is smashed*
To the tune of Jingle Bells! Over the hills we goooo.
*Sealeo gets its moustache trimmed*
Dashing through the snow!
*Seaking is filleted*
*Milotic is defiled*
HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!

Oh that was gratifying. Rain Badge and HM03 Water Pulse get! Well that’s the last one then now isn’t it? It’s onto the final stretch, the last hurrah! The one, the only Pokemon League! Wait no, that’s not right. There’s at least four of them. Anyway, first I have to get there... well that’s for next time. Until then, audios!


Location: Fortree City
Badges: 8
Pokemon: 6 (All fully evolved finally)
Blackouts: 0 (Sorry I can’t hear you, I got Jingle Bells cranked up too loud)

Wotter the Swampert

Level 43 – Item: Soft Sand – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Adamant
Rock Smash
Ice Beam
Mud Shot
Solos: 0/5 Grass, 0/5 Electric, 0/5 Ice

Wotter didn’t really actually see much action this chapter as it was rather short, though he didn’t do either terribly bad or terribly good when he was being used. He still seems low on power despite his high attack thanks to low base power moves and not being allowed to use super effective coverage. At least he seems able to take hits better now, so I’ll be able to make some use of him as a tank. Ah well, I knew when I got him that he wasn’t going to be much use… Anyway, I’ll be taking care of those solos against random wild Pokemon next chapter. Hell he probably got some already against the trainers I had him fight but I didn’t bother counting them. These solos are kind of pointless since I can just do wild Pokemon.

Hypothesis the Mightyena

Level 43 – Item: Blackglasses – Ability: Intimidate – Nature: Sassy

Hypothesis also didn’t do much other than grind against npcs this chapter, which he did with relative ease. He remains a useful member of my team, though still not a powerhouse. I’m really curious though to see how he performs when the Pokemon league comes up though, since I’ll be using him a bit more there than I have elsewhere.

Big Banks the Linoone

Level 44 – Item: None – Ability: Pickup – Nature: Timid

Big Banks did what he did best this chapter right up until Wallace… be fast and hit lightly but surely. However against Wallace I discovered a whole new dimension to him that I hadn’t realized before; his natural potential as a set up sweeper. Sure he can’t do that on his own, but a few cheap X-items and BLAM he wipes the floor with everything in sight. His naturally blistering speed means that only attack boosts are needed for him to get in there and blow everything to bits. Hell, I’m betting that if I had given him Shadow Ball I could sweep the entire Pokemon league with him, given the right moveset. Alas, such a dream will have to remain as such, because he isn’t getting past that ghost type trainer by himself.

Technician the Breloom:

Level: 42 – Item: Miracle Seed – Ability: Effect Spore – Nature: Impish
Mach Punch
Mega Drain
Leech Seed

Technician didn’t really get used much this chapter, not because I couldn’t but just because it ended up happening that way. Nothing much has changed though; she’s still lacking in power and I need to decide what direction I want to go with her. Mach Punch and Mega Drain just aren’t cutting it anymore and I can’t give her more powerful moves, so the Sub-seed strategy is looking more and more tempting to go along with. Unfortunately my research shows, to my dismay, that Substitute isn’t actually a TM in Sapphire… in fact it can’t be taught to Breloom at all. So what the hell am I going to do with her? She doesn’t have the power or bulk I need any more… it’s such a shame really, she was a beast for so long. Well we’ll see what ends up happening with her in the end in the coming days ahead I suppose.

Tough the Hariyama

Level: 43 – Item: Quick Claw – Ability: Guts – Nature: Lax
Brick Break
Vital Throw
Fake Out

Tough getting Brick Break was a big help for him, since now he now has more immediate power than he’s ever had before. His bulk isn’t seeming as great as it used to with the increasing power of his opponents too so it’s a good thing I don’t have to rely on Vital Throw anymore. Finally, he’s completed that damn contest requirement, though I had to bend the rules a little bit to do it since it was proving impossible otherwise. You guys don’t mind though riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight?

Relic the Claydol

Level: 43 – Item: Lax Incense – Ability: Levitate – Nature: Serious
Shadow Ball
Ancient Power

Relic continues to show his worth by dominating all with his combination of good power and bulk. He can even tanks super effective hits quite well due to the fact that they’re both special types, and his special defense is magnificently high. Now all that’s left is to optimize his moveset for the Elite Four, against whom I expect Relic to do very well. I’ll pick up Psychic on Victory Road so that’s a given, but the choice of whether to give him Ice beam of Earthquake is a tough one. Drake will be rough without Ice Beam but Earthquake will help against Steven... ah well, I’ll figure it out later. For now I’ll just rest, confident in Relic’s abilities to pull through no matter what route I take.

Alright, it’s time now... time to head to Victory Road! Or it would be if I didn’t feel obligated to explore every other waterfall in the game first. So yeah, first order of business is to teach Waterfall to someone... it’d be nice if it could be someone in my party but really I don’t think that’s an option. So Lombre is going to get it, alright here yo-

Hang on. It’s 80BP. HOLY SHIT ITS 80BP. I can give it to Wotter instead of Mud Shot! Sure it runs off his weaker Special attack stat, but even as is Mud Shot is only SLIGHTLY stronger than Strength (With STAB it’s 82.5BP as opposed to Strength’s 80BP) and Strength hits more things neutrally anyway so it’s not like I’m losing coverage. I’ll also be able to take advantage of Torrent... Alright then, Wotter here you go. And there I thought it was 85BP so I had written it off...

Anyway, now I just have to remember where the few waterfalls in the game are located. Let’s see... If I remember correctly, there’s one near Fallarbor town, several in Meteor falls, and another near Fortree City. I think that’s it, so I guess I’ll head to Fallarbor town first.

Hmm noting but a Rare Candy up this one, but I know for a fact that Meteor Falls is going to be a bit more interesting.
*After surfing up the waterfall in Meteor Falls*
Damn the enemies here are in the mid to high thirties. I guess that makes sense since you can’t get here until after Wallace but it is a bit of a shock to the system.

Alright, I found TM23 Iron Tail. I won’t be giving it to anyone, but hey why not take it anyway?
*a few surprisingly difficult battles later*
Jeeze, I wasn’t really prepared for these trainers down here. Well I’m through anyway, got another PP Up for Relic’s Ancient Power and TM 02 Dragon Claw, which I might just teach to something so I can get paste Drake in the Elite Four later.
*Checks to see who can learn it*
.... or not since no one on the team can learn it. *sigh* nevermind.

Alright now, Route 119 near Fortree is next. Just a few items up here I think...
*There’s something unseeable in the way*
...... *twitch*
*One splattered mess later*
Dammit, nothing up here but a Rare Candy and an unrecognizable lump of flesh. I guess that’s it then... onto Ever Grande City and Victory road then!

Wait they call this place a City? The only building here is a Pokemon Centre! This isn’t even a freaking town, let alone a City. It’s a goddamn glorified rest stop! Phaw.

Well anyway, that doesn’t change that it’s time to head into Victory Road and get this show... on the road. Wow that sounded a lot less lame in my head.

Holy shit the Pokemon Trainers in here have Pokemon at the same level mine are. This is going to be a bit of a challenge I think.

Well first things first, I’ve decided to give Earthquake to Relic, at least for the time being. He’ll be needing the extra power and type advantage down here...

*after making it to the second level*
.... really??? IT’S A GODDAM FLASH CAVE! Well like HELL am I going to give one of my Pokemon Flash... thank lord I still have this old RS guide...

*After some more running around, fighting, getting slightly loss, backtracking to the Pokemon Center to heal*
Well this is proving frustrating... In any case though, now I know to give Wotter Sea Incense instead of Soft Sand since he doesn’t have a ground type attack now, and also to teach Rock Tomb to Technician over Tackle so it can actually hit Flying and Poison types...
*tries to teach Technician Rock Tomb, but it turns out she can’t learn it*
...... Fuck. She is really becoming impossible to train with her goddamn weaknesses... Well I might as well give her Cut over Tackle, since it’s ever so slightly better... I don’t think Technician is going to be much use from here on in.

And there, a final PP Up for Giga Drain... Shame Technician is looking to be the LVP for the end-game.
*More wandering around fighting wild and trained Pokemon later*
HUZZAH! I have found TM29 Psychic for Relic! Here you go my dear friend, it is time for you to become even more ownage!

*more wandering, fighting and waterfall riding later*
Alright I’m finally almost out! I know that Wally is going to ambush me as soon as I get close to the exit so I had better heal up my Pokemon...

And there we are, Wally comes up and ambushes me from behind, thanking me for helping him get here immediately before attempting to destroy my Pokemon. Errrr you’re welcome?

*He Leads with Altaria, I lead with Hypothesis*
Alright, first thing I need to do is taunt this thing before it gets off any Dragon Dances
*It uses Safeguard, essentially wasting a turn*
Alright good. Now I’m just going to pound away at it until it faints!
*Exchange of Returns and Dragon Breaths leads to a Super Potion being used by Wally and a low health, Paralyzed Hypothesis*
Well... not so good. Still... I just need one more hit.
*Altaria goes down after setting up Safeguard again, Delicatty is up next*
Alright, Technician is best equipped to deal with this since Cute Charm won’t affect her. Mach Punching time!
*It uses Assist and gets Double Team, but Mach Punch 2HKOs it anyway*
Gardevoir is next, the most threatening member he has. Thankfully I have something that hard walls it. Go Relic!
*Earthquake 2HKOs Gardevoir, who barely scratches Relic with Psychic*
Easy pickins. Roselia is up next and I don’t really have much for it, but Big Banks should be able to take advantage of its low physical defense. Return!
*Return 2HKOs, but Big Banks is badly poisoned by Toxic*
Meh no big deal. Big Banks can rest now anyway, Since Magneton is up next and a certain heavy fighter is eager to add another notch to his belt. Use Brick Break Tough!
And that’s the end of it! Well Wally took it pretty well. Anyway, now I can heal up at the Pokemon Leauge and begin grinding up to level 50 for everyone, ready to take them on. This will be fun *sarcasm*.

That’s right everyone, fire up your favourite training montage music, because it’s that time again. Here we go!

*Some grinding later*
Wotter wants to learn Protect? Hmmmm lets see uhhhh no. Not much use in-game really so no point in me having it. Neeeeext.
*some grinding later*
Hypothesis wants to learn Crunch? FUCK YES! It’s about goddamn time!
*More later!*
Big Banks wants to learn Rest? Uh no. Big Banks is not a defensive Pokemon...
*nothing else of interest occurs until I get level 50 in all*

Alright, there we go, everyone is all set. I just need to get a couple TMs for Big Banks at the Game Corner to replace Cut with and then I’ll be all set. But I’ll leave that until next time... so yeah, this chapter is a bit short written length wise, but it took me a fuck tonne of time to do I can let you know. Anyway, next time will be a little more action packed, because I’ll be taking on the Pokemon League! Until next time then people, audios!


Location: Fortree City
Badges: 8
Pokemon: 6
Blackouts: 0 (And it’s stayin that way see?)

Wotter the Swampert

Level 50 – Item: Wave Incense – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Adamant
Rock Smash
Ice Beam

Wotter actually performed better than most of my team on Victory Road, much to my surprise and pleasure. Good bulk and decent power does make him reliable. Of course, his inability to actually hit anything super effectively is liable to limit his usefulness during the Elite Four. Still, I suspect I’ll end up falling back on him when I need to. I’m glad he might not be as useless as I feared in any case.

Hypothesis the Mightyena

Level 50 – Item: Blackglasses – Ability: Intimidate – Nature: Sassy

Hypothesis is doing alright, though he doesn’t have a lot of bulk even with Intimidate. Still he has a number of vital capabilities I’m glad to use, and he’s going to be my main answer to the Ghost type trainer in the Elite Four. He might have even more use in a support role with Taunt…

Big Banks the Linoone

Level 50 – Item: None – Ability: Pickup – Nature: Timid

Big Banks really still does have issues, thanks to low power and defenses. Of course this doesn’t change the fact that I expect him to be absolutely key in the Elite Four battle to come for two simple reasons. One is that it has spectacular coverage, and with a few TMs I can tailor it to whichever Elite Four member I’m going to be fighting. Second is that insanely high Speed it has, meaning that after a couple boosts to whichever attack I’m going to be using, a sweep should be easy to achieve. I’m really counting on Big Banks for use against Drake; otherwise the Dragon type trainer is going to be a real challenge for me to face.

Technician the Breloom:

Level: 50 – Item: Miracle Seed – Ability: Effect Spore – Nature: Impish
Mach Punch
Mega Drain
Leech Seed

I don’t know if I’ve ever had a Pokemon drop so enormously in usefulness as poor Technician here. All throughout the start and midpoint of the game she was such a useful Pokemon, being a great tank as a Shroomish and a powerhouse as Breloom, but that Technician boosted attack restriction is finally starting to weigh on her. Her attacks are just plain weak now, and she has such an insanely limited movepool to pick from that there really isn’t much room for variation. Even my plan of a Sub-Seed set has been dashed by the unavailability of Substitute, and she just doesn’t have to bulk or typing to pull it off without it. Honestly, I doubt that she’ll do anything of much of anything during the Elite Four, except maybe throw up a Leech Seed or whittle off the last bit of health on something with Mach Punch. It’s such a shame to see her fall so far, but I really don’t have any way around it.

Tough the Hariyama

Level: 50 – Item: Quick Claw – Ability: Guts – Nature: Lax
Brick Break
Vital Throw
Fake Out

Tough is still doing really well, though the power creep is showing. He doesn’t OHKO everything anymore, and he can’t take endless punishment. Nonetheless, he’s still a powerhouse and one of my most reliable Pokemon. Really though, I know for a fact he’s going to be vital against the Elite Four, because two of them have entire teams weak to him, and Steven has a number of Pokemon that are vulnerable as well. If he’s not the MVP now, he soon will be.

Relic the Claydol

Level: 50 – Item: Lax Incense – Ability: Levitate – Nature: Serious
Ancient Power

Relic is still doing as well as he was before, maybe even more so with his shiny new STAB attacks. His bulk is still rather impressive too, especially on the special side. However, his typing isn’t particularly useful for the Elite Four, so I suspect he won’t get used as much as he would against other Elite Fours in the Pokemon world. Still, he’s reliable, bulky and pretty powerful and that Earthquake will likely be of use against Steven, so I’m sure he’ll see some use.

Alright, enough stalling. It’s time to finish this... It’s time to fight the Pokemon League. This will be one of my biggest challenges yet, as this team really doesn’t have ideal typing. Still, I should be able to pull through. I’ve stocked up on a few X-Items should I need them. Now it’s time for shit to get real.

Alright, first up is Sidney, the Dark Type trainer. He’ll be the easiest of the lot and not just because of the levels... I have two fighting types waiting to tear him to shreds.

*Starts by leading with Relic against his Mightyhena*
No that wasn’t a mistake; Relic is going to absorb the intimidate and lure a Crunch so that Technician gets and easy switch in.
*Mightyena screws me over by using Sand-Attack insted*
...... fucker. Mach Punch anyway I suppose...
*It`s an easy 2HKO, while its Take Down does bupkiss*
One more time!
*Mightyena goes down, Absol is next*
I can’t afford to let it set up so Tough is going out. Fake Out plus Brick Break will definitely KO.
Shiftry is next. It has Extrasensory, so I don’t dare leave Tough in. Technician might not KO, but if she does go down well... not like I’ll be using her beyond this fight anyway.
*It desides to Double Team instead of use Extrasensory*
Alright, now I just have to not miss... Mach Punch!
*It doesn’t miss*
Sharpedo is next and doesn’t have anything that’ll hit Technician well. I think she’ll be staying in.
*Mach Punch OHKOs*
Damn, talk about your paper thin defences. Alright, just Cacturn next. Might as well keep Technician in seeing as she has better resistances for this than Tough.
*Mach Punch 2HKOs, wheras Cacturne makes the baffling decision to Cotton Spore a priority user*
*Victory is had, and Technician celebrates the fact she actually got used!*
Booyah! That was easy.

Phoebe the Ghost type Trainer is up next, so it’s Hypothesis’ time to shine. I’ll be stunned if I actually have to use any other Pokemon in this fight. It’s ironic that she so cocky. “See if you can even touch my Pokemon!” Oh, I’ll be doing more than that...

*She leads with one of her Dusclops, I lead with Hypothesis*
You’d think I’d Crunch, but you’d be wrong. That fucker has Curse and Confuse Ray, so it’s safer to use Taunt first.
*It uses Shadow Punch dealing pitiful damage*
Thankfully all her Pokemon are slow as hell and virtually none of them have coverage moves that actually hurt Hypothesis, so Taunt will basically make him invincible. I think I’m on easy street for this fight. Taunt, Cruch till dead, repeat until battle is won. Easy shit.
*One down, 4 to go*
Banette is next, though I don’t know which since they’re both the same level. Either way though it doesn’t change the pattern.
*Shadow Ball does minor damage, Crunch brings it to the red*
Oh boo. Now she`s going to prolong it by healing
*after one Full Restore, it goes down.*
Sableye is next, something I won’t get supereffective bonuses against. Thankfully though it can’t really hurt Hypothesis with its Dark, Ghost, Psychic coverage. I’m going to taunt it then heal when I have the chance.
*It is 2HKO’d after a Special Def drop*
Alright, her next Bannette is coming out now. Hypothesis took a special defence drop but I’m not worried seeing as Shadow Ball is physical this generation. Taunt then Cruch, yet again!
*It’s OHKO’d after Taunt blocks Toxic* Alright, one Dusclops left. This one is pure attacking except for Confuse Ray, so I think it’d be prudent to swap Hypothesis out then back in and get the intimidate and my Special Defense back up to full.
*It uses Confuse Ray*
...... annoying. Yellow Flute time
*Ice Beam deals pitiful damage*
Alright, Taunt then Crunch cycle is to begin again! Man, Phoebe must think Hypothesis is a real jerk with all this taunting.
*Crunch 3HKOs thanks to Sitrus berry so another Full Restore comes out*
CRAP Pressure caused Crunch to run out of PP! Goddammit this is annoying.
*One Hyper Potion and one Ether later, Dusclops goes down*
Well that was more annoying than had anticipated. Not hard, just ANNOYING. Had to use a few healing items since they slowly whittled down my HP... ah well.

Alright, Glacia the Ice trainer is up next so it’s time for Tough to pull out all the stops. I just hope that he doesn’t get OHKO’d by Sheer Cold...

*she leads with Glalie, I with Tough*
Alright, might as well Fake Out for free damage
*Inner Focus*
...... really? I totally did not know that (what with Glalie being used about as often as Pichu in competitive battling) well all it did was use Hail, so no real harm done... Now we Brick break.
*Brick Break OHKOs, Sealeo is next*
*It hangs on with an incredibly tiny amount of health and does a fair bit with Surf*
Oh for fuck’s sakes...
*Full Restore gets used, and yet again it hangs on by a thread*
...... annoying little...
*Another shot KOs it, her second Sealeo comes out*
I’m going to have to take a turn to heal soon here, but not against this one... it has Attract.
*it hangs on by a thread but misses with Blizzard*
Alright, one more go.
*no Full Restore this time, it goes down and her second Glalie comes out*
Geeze, you guys don’t really like variety do you up here? I’ve fought 4 different species of Pokemon Twice already. Anyway, Tough could probably use a quick pick-me-up.
*Tough gets healed while Glalie uses Hail again*
Well that’s annoying, but you won’t get any chance to take advantage of it.
*It outspeeds and hits Touch with a strong Ice beam, but Brick break OHKOs*
Didn’t expect that... well I just hope that Tough can take a Blizzard from Walrein...
*It outspeeds and OHKOs with Blizzard*
FUCK. Alright, what are my options here... Wotter can absorb a hit or two while I bring back Tough. I think this thing is going to be a pain to take down...
*Tough is restored to full health while Wotter takes a Blizzard and dodges a Sheer Cold*
Hmmm Wotter still has some fight in him, might as well make the best of it. Walrein doesn’t have any set up moves so there’s no reason not to get some damage in while I have the chance.
*Strength does tiny amounts of damage, but Sheer Cold misses so he gets another shot*
Alright, let’s see how long this can keep up...
*Blizzard hits and Wotter fai- oh no wait, he hangs on with 1HP somehow*
.... Damn, that’s lucky. Alright, one more shot I guess!
*Strengths gets a critical hit bringing Walrein into the red, but Blizzard hits and Wotter faints*
Tough you’re back out
*Sitrus Berry activates, possibly preventing the appearance of a Full Restore*
Well this worked out pretty nicely for me. One more Brick Break and this should be done!
*Full Restore gets used*
*Brick Break is a 2HKO*
Alright, unless I get really damn unlucky, this is it.
*Blizzard missed, Brick Break KOs, the crowd goes wild*
BOOYAH! Alright, that’s the ticket! Thanks for taking the fall there Wotter, that really helped.

Alright, Drake the Dragon taming sailor (yeah I don’t get it either) is up next. I’m going to try to pull off the same trick I did against Wallace here, though Shelgon isn’t nearly as much of a sitting duck as Luvdisc was. Still, I should be able to pull it off... and once I do get past it, he’s finished since all his other Pokemon are 4x weak to Ice beam.

*Realizes he forgot to replace Cut with ice beam*
Well fuck. I guess I’ll get rid of Thunderbolt. It’s not like I’ll be using it against anything here anyway.
*Realizes he forgot to go buy another fucking Ice Beam TM*
.............. FUCK. Alright, Blizzard + X Accuracy. Goddam this shit...
*Doesn’t have Blizzard either*
....... X-Attacks and Return.

*Drake leads with Shelgon, Big Banks stands at the ready*
Alright, first I need to use a Guard Spec. so that Rock Tomb doesn’t lower Big Banks Speed (or Crunch his Sp. Def for that matter)
*no Guard Spec.*
*The X-Attacks are there*
Thank friggin God...
*Rock Tomb misses first boost, lowers speed second and third*
*Not enough X-Speeds to offset lowered Speed*
Well my strategy is fucked.
*Return doesn’t even OHKO at +4*
Really fucked.
*One more X-Attack is used as he heals with Full Restore*
Alright, here goes nothing...
*Big Banks now fails to outspeed his Altaria after KOing Shelgon, confirming that Big Banks is going to have to take hits*
Well at least it used Dragon Dance and died like a good blue turkey. I’m not so confident about the rest of this match now though...
*Flygon uses Sandstorm before falling*
At least I’ll only be struggling with one or two of his Pokemon once Big Bank inevitably faints...
*Big Banks takes Flygon’s Flamethrower like a champ but gets hit by ridiculous Burn hax*
.................. REALLY!?!?!?!??! Full Restore time I suppose.
*Big Banks gets crited by crunch as I heal*
OH for the love of... Looks like taking out Salamence is out of the question.
*Flygon Crits Big Banks with Dragonbreath*
................... err... yeah.... Wotter, you give it a shot... sure....
*Dragonbreath paralyzes Wotter and Waterfall fails to KO*
Ok, the hax gods hate me. It’s official.
*Anticipating a Full Restore, I cure Wotter’s paralysis*
*goes as expected*
Alright now... let’s see what I can do here. I think I’ll use Wotter for as long as I can, then Relic will come in and finish things up. Sure Salamence has Cruch, but Relic’s got the special defense to take it and Ancient Power to hit it. Hopefully this’ll work...
*Wotter misses with Strength after taking a wad of sand to the face*
Sand-Attack... on a Flygon... and I miss... RNG gods, why do you hate my guts?
*Dragonbreath paralyzes but at least this time Strength hits... and does very little damage*
Alright I’m really getting peeved off now.
*Fully paralyzed, loses more health*
I can’t even use his Ice beam...
*Fully paralyzed again, as the RNG gods laugh at my plight*
*Crunch finishes Wotter off, Tough comes in*
Gotta keep Relic fresh for that damn Salamence.
*Fake out for a bit of starting damage, then gets paralyzed by Dragonbreath next turn for an easy KO with Brick Break*
I’ll just use your own damn hax against you then dammit. You’d think Dragonbreath had 100% paralysis chance going by this damn match.
*Salamence is next, I keep Tough in to take the intimidate*
Alight, it’ll probably use Fly so I should have a free switch this turn. Relic’s turn!
*Flamethrower instead, but Relic takes it... less well than hoped*
Dang, if Flamethrower is a 3HKO then Crunch... goddamit this had better work I don’t have anything else.
*It uses Fly, Ancient Power misses*
Alright I should be able to take the hit and get in an Ancient Power now. I hope.
*Relic does take it but only just. Ancient Power does far less damage than hoped, a 4HKO maybe*
..... WELL SHIT. I’m probably going to lose here because I forgot to go get myself a damn guard spec and Ice Beam. If only I hadn’t been so damn stupid...
*Hyper potions allows Relic to take another hit before stiking again with ancient power. By the time it gets it off though Relic is back to 1/3 health*
If it uses crunch Relic is finished so I have no choice but to heal again.
*it does use crunch and thanks to the heal Relic survives*
Alright that’s good but it’s back to the same health it was before. I guess I keep stalling until it uses some other attack?
*two turns later it uses Fly*
Alright, another shot. Ancient Power!
*Still no boost from it, Fly does around the same as Cruch thanks to STAB and having a lower Def than Sp.def*
I’m going to have to keep doing the “heal until you get an opening” thing for a while aren’t I?
*Sp. Def drops with the next crunch*
Crud, I have to switch now. Hypothesis is my best bet here, since Intimidate will weaken fly...
*Crunch is used on Hypothesis doing minor damage*
Well I think Hypothesis is going to make a stand here. I hope Crunch is strong enough...
*Dragon Claw does massive damage to Hypothesis and Crunch fails to KO*
...... Please don’t use a Full restore, PLEASE DON’T USE A FULL RESTORE!
*No full restore, Hypothesis is taken out by flamethrower*
Alright then... a guts boosted Fake Out will finish this for sure... as long as paralysis doesn’t kick in. Here goes nothing...
*the RNG gods finally decide to give me a break*
Oh thank the lords of RNG, that just saved this match. Now that was a hard fought victory... Half my team is down. It’d’ve been about 8 times easier had I just been prepared... well Steven is next. This’ll be fun...

*The team is restored to full strength*
Alright, now I got a real fight on my hands. Steven has a rather odd team with a lot of capabilities... even entry hazards and dual screens. I’m going to have to be careful with this one. I have a plan though, so hopefully this won’t be as rough as Drake was.

*Steven leads with his Spike laying Skarmory, I lead with Hypothesis*
Yeah, you might be seeing what I’m planning here. Taunt will prevent his Skarmory from doing annoying things while intimidate weakens its attacks. I don’t really have any way to bring down Skarmory quickly, so neutering it is my top priority.
*Taunt prevents Spikes from going up and I switch to Big Banks, the only member of my team that can hit it super effectively. It’s Steel Wing misses, allowing a free switch in*
Alright, let’s see how much this does...
*Thunderbolt is a 3HKO at best, Taunt wears off quickly apparently so Spikes go up*
Not good.
*Big Banks continues to assault it with Thunderbolt, manages to take it down with only minor damage and one layer of Spikes*
Well that could’ve gone worse certainly... Armaldo is up next and again I have bupkiss to hit it with. I think I’ll switch to Hypothesis for the intimidate then back to Big Banks who can hit it with Surf, Spikes damage be damned.
*Does so, Big Banks also gets a quick health restoration after coming in*
Alright, Surf should bring it down pretty quickly
*Ancient Power crits bringing Big banks back down to 3HP*
........... oh for the love of... at least he hasn’t gotten any boosts yet.
*After that Surf slowly wears the shelled and clawed fucker down... only to have him survive the final Surf by a hair while it KOs big banks*
And now it’s going to get Full Restored... *sigh* Back to Hypothesis for more Intimidating I suppose.
*I crunch just in case, but Steven does indeed use a Full Restore. However, a surprise Special Defense drop gives me some hope*
Well that was a nice turn of luck. I need to keep Hypothesis together for later though so I’m going to send in Relic to clean up.
*Relic comes in on a very weak Ancient Power*
Psychic should finish it.
*It doesn’t, Water Pulse hits Relic for a bit of damage but thankfully does not confuse him*
Alright, nevermind. One more shot will do it though.
*Aggron is next looking about as threatening as a knight armed with a rubber chicken thanks to his almost completely Special movepool*
Yeah I’ll be staying in for this one.
*Earthquake almost OHKOs Aggron, who uses Earthquake for some reason, completely missing the levitating Claydol*
Lol total fail. Well seeing as I’m immune to two of his moves and he needs to charge the only one that’s threatening to me (Solarbeam), I think I’ll take the opportunity to heal Relic a bit. Relic needs to be healthy since I’m counting on it to take out Metagross for me.
*Steven heals too, not that it matters*
Free heal ftw. Time to put this fool to bed with Earthquake.
*Earthquake again puts it in the red, while Dragon Claw does a measly 20 damage to Relic*
Going to have to do better than that!
*Aggron is finally finished, Cradily is set to come out next*
Well no question who to use here. Tough, you’re up! Fake out and Brick break!
*Brick Break leaves Cradily with around a quarter it’s health and it uses Confuse Ray*
*Sigh* Yellow flute time again I guess
*Giga Drain does some damage, but not nearly enough to save it*
Time for one more to bite the dust.
*Brick Break KOs Cradily, and Metagross is on its way out.*
Oh ho, here comes the big boy. Well I have a plan for dealing with you. Hypothesis, your services are needed once again!
*Clear Body*
.......... FUCK. This is going to be rough. Technician, you go. I’m going to have to sac someone...
*Technician just barely hangs on*
Maybe I can get off a Leach Seed... it’s worth a shot.
*Leach seed misses*
Oh very funny RNG gods. Well Technician is down, time for Relic to test his metal. Earthquake!
*Earthquake is a 3HKO, but meteor mash is a 2HKO*
FUCK. Well I would just Earthquake it and then bring in someone else to revenge, except I don’t really have anything to revenge it alive anymore and Steven will probably just use a full restore. More healing it is then...
*It uses Hyper beam, dealing heavy damage but giving me an opening*
PERFECT! Now I can bash away with Earthquake for two turns.
*Earthquake fails to KO as expected, leaving it with a smidgeon of health left*
Well it’s in the yellow so I’m not sure if he’ll use another Full Restore or not. Still, if he doesn’t I outspeed so there’s nothing to be lost by using Earthquake now while I have the chance. I guess the choice is clear then...
*He doesn’t heal it and Metagross is finished off*
HELL YEAH YOU ARE A BEAST RELIC! Alright, just his Claydol left who Hypothesis should be able to handle easily. I’m in the home stretch now. I’ll use taunt on it to make sure it doesn’t get up its screens, then Hypothesis needs a bit of healing before he starts pounding away.
*Claydol outspeeds and uses Earthquake, but thankfully it doesn’t do much*
More healing now then.
*Hypothesis is healed and takes another weak Earthquake*
Ok, time to Crunch our way to victory! Here we go Hypothesis!
*the fucker uses Light Screen. Apparently there’s no message telling you when taunt ends*
........ oh for the love of. Taunt and then HOWL! If I can’t beat you that way I’ll beat you another!
*Earthquake does more minor damage*
*Earthquake puts Hypothesis in the red*
*does the trick*
Taunt. Don’t want Reflect coming up.
*Earthquake brings Hypothesis back to half*
*brings Claydol within KO range, but Hypothesis needs healing again*
*Earthquake hits again*
*Claydol surives with an insanely small amount of health left*
*Full Restore, but Crunch lowers Sp. Def*
Oh yes. One more should do it. AGAIN!
*Claydol uses Earthquake to put Hypothesis in the red, but Crunch finishes the job once and for all!*
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I DID IT! Goddamit that was tough... I hate that I had to use so many items. Ah well, that’s the way it goes eh? The point is that I won it! Anyway all that happens now is that May and Birch come and congratulate me and I get registered in the Hall of Fame. Oh, and May groans when she isn’t allowed into the Hall of Fame. Silly girl... the Hall of Fame is for people with actually skillz!

Well there we go, that’s it! My scramble of Sapphire version is done. I know some of you are thinking “But what about the legendaries D:” and I hear yah, but I don’t really need any of those legendaries for anything and I have got fuck all to catch them with. I might catch them at a later date, but that’ll be outside the scope of this challenge. So yes everyone, that means we’re through! It’s over and done, and time for the final goodbye. Until next time people... Audios.

Note: There will be no “End of Chapter Summary” here. Instead, I’m writing up an “End of Scramble Summary” to be added in the next hour or so, with MVP listings and a detailed description of how each member of the team fared throughout my journey. So keep your eyes peeled, because it won’t be long at all before it goes up!

Location: Done
Badges: 8
Pokemon: 6
Blackouts: 0 (Managed to do it without a single one! Though… I guess that restart kind of counts…)

Alright everyone, this summary is extra special since it’s the final one. Everyone here is going to be listed from MVP to LVP, based on their performance throughout the challenge (not just the last chapter). Read on to see how your favorite ranked!

Tough the Hariyama

Level: 51 – Item: Quick Claw – Ability: Guts – Nature: Lax
Brick Break
Vital Throw
Fake Out

Tough is my clear overall MVP for this challange. Right from the chapter after I got him he became a force, and once he evolved (which was quite early on) there was no stopping him from wreaking havoc upon all who opposed him. A straight attacking set proved to be no challenge at all, since he had good attacks available to make such a set up work. In fact his basic moveset was pretty much defined right from the first chapter I got him, with only minor alterations throughout. Fighting/Normal coverage only misses out on Ghost Types, who aren’t exactly plentiful, and the utitility granted by Vital Throw and Fake Out was incredibly useful. Ironically though, despite being my clear MVP it was on his solo of Wattson that I had my only restarts. Of course, that’s mostly due to Wattson being wildly overpowered unless you have a good ground type... Well, in any case, Tough showed me what a beast Hariyama could be when given the chance. Good bulk, good attack, good moves and good typing made him the most valuable member of my team. Just don’t count on him winning any contests...

Relic the Claydol

Level: 50 – Item: Soft Sand – Ability: Levitate – Nature: Serious
Ancient Power

Relic stunned me in the challange, and definitely gave Tough a run for his money when becoming MVP. Relic is basically the same story as Tough; good bulk, good power and good typing. He has even better coverage than he does and his special bulk was rivalled by none. However, getting him to this point ended up being a fair challenge. I even had to nerf his requirements for evolution, since they turned out to be pretty much impossible. Also, being stuck with Selfdestruct the whole game wasn’t much fun. I suspect that had I been able to run an additional coverage move (like Ice Beam) he would’ve been my MVP. Still, he did a great job and really, only his rocky start held him back from the MVP spot. Just like Wuzzle the Poliwrath before, this was a Pokemon I had never used before and was greatly pleased with. It just goes to show that maybe sometimes we should give the less commonly used Pokemon a chance!

Technician the Breloom:

Level: 50 – Item: Miracle Seed – Ability: Effect Spore – Nature: Impish
Mach Punch
Mega Drain
Leech Seed

Technician was hard as hell to rank because she was really a case I’ve never seen before. She went from being an absolute powerhouse early and midgame to becoming totally useless end game. If these rankings were just from the last chapter alone, there’d be no question that she’d be my LVP. But I can’t forget how badass she was early on. Even as a Shroomish she was one of my most useful members, thanks to her ability to Leech Seed stall like nothing else. Then when she evolved she gained massive power to go along with her still good bulk and started obliterating everything with her STAB priority Mach Punch. But around the 6th gym, things started to go downhill. At first she just had to take a few more swing at her opponents, but by the time I got to Victory Road she was totally useless. The problem was that while the Pokemon around her got new and more powerful moves, she was still stuck with some of the lowest BP moves in the game. It wouldn’t’ve been so bad if she had access to more Technician boosted moves, but she just didn’t. Mach Punch, Giga Drain and Cut really are just about the best ones she gets. Still, she did actually get some use against Sidney thanks to her odd typing, but ultimately it wasn’t enough to lift her up to her prior glory. Still, that prior glory was quite substantial, so she manages a none too shabby third place MVP.

Hypothesis the Mightyena

Level 51 – Item: Blackglasses – Ability: Intimidate – Nature: Sassy

Hypothesis was a really interesting experience for me thanks to that one little requirement that said he needed two status moves if he was going to use any Dark Type moves. I’ve used Mightyena many times before, but always as a pure attacker. This time I took a wildly different route for him. While he still attacked, where he really shone was in his support roles. Intimidate proved insanely useful against tough opponents throughout the entire game, and once he got Taunt he became indispensible. Taunt had never been a move I had even considered using In game until I ended up using it with Hypothesis and now I see how wrong I was to never use it before. It made Tate and Liza’s battle trivial and was key to my victory in the Elite Four. So then you might be wondering, why isn’t Hypothesis higher up on the list? Well, the simple answer is that he wasn’t very powerful attacking wise the whole game. Hell, at the start of the game he was friggin’ useless. While his support is insanely useful in some situations, it’s just that; situational. Most of the time I only used Hypothesis when I needed to level grind him or take out a Ghost, since he was outclassed in power by most of my team. Still he was always a solid member if not an outstanding one, and his utility options really were unmatched. I find it funny how far off my prediction for him was. I expected him to be like every other Mightyena I had ever used, and that could not have been farther from the truth.

Big Banks the Linoone

Level 50 – Item: None – Ability: Pickup – Nature: Timid

Big Banks was another mixed bag. Really the killer with him was that Timid nature, since it made him even weaker attacking than Linoone normally is. Yet at the same time I am grateful for that handicap since it forced me to use Big Banks as I had never used a Linoone before; as a Mixed Attacker. Between the massive coverage holes left by the rest of my team, his insanely deep movepool and blistering speed, it became quickly apparent to me that the best way to use him would be as a utility Pokemon to take out threats I had no other answer for, and he served that purpose well. So then, why is he so far down on the list? Because that’s ALL he could do, and he didn’t always even do that perfectly well. Blistering speed is all well and good but when you don’t have the power to back it up it’s kind of useless. He was totally useless early-mid game, and evolving him was a massive pain. Similarly to Hypothesis, his main use was a situational one, only even moreso since Big Banks can’t even do the average stuff of beating up common Pokemon. Still he showed great potential when on the receiving end of a lot of attacking boosts; his stats and movepool were just begging for x-item abuse and I made sure to do that towards the end. He did pull his weight in the end and I was glad to have him. Besides, it was pretty damn cool to Surf everywhere on a giant badger-ferret hybrid.

Wotter the Swampert

Level 50 – Item: Wave Incense – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Adamant
Rock Smash
Ice Beam

Well this really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. I was predicting this spot for Wotter right from near the start because of his insanely crippling restrictions. Well, restriction. It wasn’t the solos, the evolution restrictions or even the power restrictions that really held him back (though they did compound it). No, it was that restriction that said he couldn’t use any supereffective attacks, guaranteeing he would end up as nothing more than a glorified HM slave. His restrictions basically forced him into an straight attacking set, yet I could never take advantage of the set’s super-effective coverage. Hell, it ended up giving him absolutely terrible coverage since every super effective attack became essentially an immunity instead. Really the killer though was that there wasn’t any real point in using him. Why would I use Wotter against anything when I can hit it super effectively with something else? The only time he was any use was in taking a few hits while I healed his teammates or he whittled away at the enemies HP (And it was whittling, since he always lacked in power despite his huge attack stat). As such, he ended up being completely forgettable throughout the whole journey. He never got above “passable” in terms of usefulness, and there were times (when he was stuck unevolved) where he was a downright burden. As such he ultimately ends up down at the bottom of my list, truly my LVP.
Yay Jimera!!

Also, I hope to finish up Chapter 4 right now. I'll let you know when it's done, and I'd really like some tips for Chapter 5. In case you didn't know, I posted the last 21 turns of Whitney a while back for you to read.


You don't understand, Edgar is the one in the hole!
is a Smogon Social Media Contributor Alumnus
Oh Axmaster, I just realized I need a couple things clarified for your challenge, regarding what restrictions apply to which evolutionary stages.

Do the ones in the last paragraph only apply to Swampert, or to the others as well? And that less than 50 BP move it needs to share with Oshawott, does it have to keep that after it evolves or is it free from that restriction once it becomes a Marshtomp?
I'd like the less than 50 BP move to apply throughout, but the last paragraph can apply to either just Swampert or throughout Marshtomp and Swampert. Take your pick. Also, I put a little bit more of Chapter 4, and I hope to finish it tommorrow!!
Think you can get the upgraded Butterfree uP by tomorrow? I won't be very active tomorrow because I got to work on a paper about a famose artist........
Episode 6 complete! Volt-Turn shenanigans and Ferris-shipping ensue!
EDIT: I realized something today axmaster. SamuKip's over 100 BP moves are Megahorn, which leaves me without a STAB move (which I find kind of unfair) and Hydro Pump, which is learned at lvl 62. Is it ok if I get rid of that part of his moveset restriction?


A distant memory
is a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnus
Well King Serperior, here comes your "Halo" Challenge (I seriously don't know much about Halo, so bear with me)...

Take a Mantine, & name this thing "Banshee". You know, those ship things from the Halo series? Yeah, This Mantine will BE your Banshee, except that it cannot fly, of course. So, yeah. Being a Banshee, it does Banshee like things...And Banshee like moves...And Banshee like whatever. So, the point is, it needs this moveset beofre the Elite 4:

-Fire Banshee Gun Thingy (Whatever it's called): Water Pulse/Bullet Seed
-Strafe/Move/Whatever: Surf/Waterfall
-Land/However the fuck they touch the ground: Bounce/Earthquake
-Banshee's secondary Weapon if it has any: Supersonic/Ice Beam

Well, yeah. It's a Banshee, do they really have backstories? Well yeah. This Mantine played too much Halo on the Mantine's version of an XBOX & basically wanted to become a Banshee one day, making him/her not the most popular Mantine out there...So, there he/she is, being a faux-banshee & wanting to prove his/her worth as a Banshee by soloing 2 Gym Leader/E4 Members, don't care which ones you do solo.


  • Banshee the Mantine
  • Learn the aforementioned moveset pre-E4
  • Solo a couple of Gym Leader/E4 Members with it, make it useful!
Yeah, have fun with this fail-Halo Challenge.

Also, is it just me, or is these scrambles becoming a race to claim their placeholders again? (Vets, you know what I'm talking about.)


Edit: yea, Banshees do have a history. Would you like to do a redo, or let someone else have a go?

Double EDIT: Updated my OP guys. Look at my sig for details. There is still one space left. Sorry IAR, but I need a more well thought out challange.


You don't understand, Edgar is the one in the hole!
is a Smogon Social Media Contributor Alumnus
Well in case IAR doesn't want to do it I'll take a shot at a Halo themed Pokemon for you. I love the Halo series so this should be fun.

I'll edit this with it in a few minutes.

EDIT: King Serperior, you get Wraith the Slowpoke. This Slowpoke doesn't think it's a slowpoke, it thinks it's a wraith. It spent too much time watching it's older brother Wraith whore on Xbox-Live you see, and the image of being an unstoppable purple tank has imprinted it on his mind forever. Unfortunately, unless you're lucky enough to catch it shiny, it'll never be purple, but it can still be a tank!

It uses its moves to emulate a Wraith as much as it can. As such, it must have a moveset like this ASAP:
Wraith Bolt: A non-contact move
Boost splatter: A contact move with less BP than the Wraith Bolt
Armour: A move that boosts either its defense or special defense
Utility: Non-attacking move of your choice.

In order to prove his awesomeness, he needs to take 10 "rockets" (100BP or greater attacks, Magnitudes 9 and 10 DO count) to the face and live in order to evolve into Slowbro. As an added bonus, if you solo Jasmine with him, he thinks that a person gets into his turret seat (don't ask how that works, Wraith's mind works weirdly) and as such gains access to one more non-contact move, weaker than his wraith bolt. This move must take the place of the "Utility" move you have listed above should you chose to use it.

^ever read the series?? I own all but one....

Edit: Jimera, which path for Big Banks do you plan to choose? You can only choose one.....

Edit #2: Awesome!!! The Wraith is my second fave vehicle(tied with the Chopper) :D

Edit #3: Ok, Axemaster still has to update that Butterfree and TyranitarPhantom has 4:17 P.M. GMT -5 to give the YuGiOh challange before it is nullified.


You don't understand, Edgar is the one in the hole!
is a Smogon Social Media Contributor Alumnus
^ever read the series?? I own all but one....

Edit: Jimera, which path for Big Banks do you plan to choose? You can only choose one.....
No I haven't read the books, but I've read enough from the Wiki to know a lot of the backstory. I chose a more main-stream component of the series for my submission though, so other people would understand it too.

As for Big Banks, I'm really undecided yet. Those sorts of decisions I usually wait right up until the time it is to make them before I decide (like I did with Shenron last challange), so I have all the information I need as to which would be the best path.

I do have a quick question regarding big banks. Do I have to buy ALL the coins that go towards buying those TMs, or can I play the slots to get some of it?

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 1, Guests: 2)