Before I begin, let me just note
that I love your review of the poem that I wrote.
You've given me pointers and a sense of direction.
It's gotten me so excited that I have an...
unusual temptation to follow up with a response of my own.
Just don't expect perfection. :)
I agree that poetry should instill philosophy,
or at least a little lesson to bring your soul to its knees.
Perhaps I should craft a moment where I laughed with my friend?
I'd use imagery to envision the friendship once again.
Such as a moment in time where I looked upon the stars
and I smiled at Pluto from a planet so far.
I could reminisce a memory from when I was a kid
and how I used to look at Pluto because no one ever did.
Maybe I befriended Pluto because another knew her well.
There was more to the universe, and it was something they could tell.
I grew up singing songs about the nine planets in our system.
I covet the days of my childhood. Oh, how I miss them...
and you noted I should let the reader have a moment to themselves.
They should think about my poem and let my words try to delve
inside their thoughtful, brilliant minds, like little elves of wisdom.
Within my poem, full of clues, I leave advice because it's fun!
And when it's done, I'll leave more than a cutesy couplet to wrap up.
I'll clean up my little story so that my feelings are backed up.
I'll make it clear and disengage the clearly vague and simple proverbs.
I'll write a proper ending, as it's the most that I can offer.
Pluto is so small that astronomers decided to revoke its status.
Small people are often tossed aside, and it seems like I've just had it.
It reminds me of me, a shortie at twenty one years old,
and how people disrespect me and act so brash and bold.
The little guys are ignored, often excluded from the rest.
It's why out of all the planets I think Pluto is the best.
So the next time you see someone who looks or feels tiny
let them know that I care, and they can always talk to me.
Just come find me :)
The notion that little guys are ignore is farce.
Forgive this next poem... it may seem quiet harsh.
Before I begin, I must point out,
that its not the poem that makes me shout,
but rather the idea behind it.
With the media's divine intervention
All the little guys get their share of attention
Upon request they'd even get their own convention
From a COSI T-shirt to bullying ads, little guys always get their share of mentions.
The little guys do not face a devastating stigma
The little guys support remains an enigma
Why does Saturn not have his supporters?
Why does Lady Jupiter still lack good courters?
Who is there to stick up for the plain?
Who is there to brush a work horse's mane?
I say there is nil and nay!
Look around you, perhaps for just a moment?
When's the last time a normal build cat got a comment?
Why do people not subscribe to corporate CEOs?
Look around you, perhaps just a while?
When's the last time a man made the news for just running a mile?
Why do people only look for colorful bows?
Gaze upon your night!
Does anyone give Jupiter a fight?
Does anyone give Saturn so much as a thought?
I think not.
With Pluto's demotion, follows a scene
With a young man's promotion, not a soul seems keen.
The normal crowd's who needs the love.
Care us not for Robins, but for the Doves?
Lady Jupiter, please stop your crying.
Just accept that Pluto is never dying.
Saturn will stay your side.
Us usual folks, have nothing to hide
Just mediocrity to abide.
I stand for the the average, the ones oft missed.
Those who Lady Luck, has not kissed
But someday
